We finally made it into the music room about two hours after Alexis and I had shown. It was the way it always was, all of us getting caught up in memories, joking around, my family enjoying the crazy awesome life they’d been granted.

All the while, their kids playing at their feet.

Baz was slouched back on the couch where he’d been watching the four of us hammer out a song that needed to be tweaked before we hit the stage.

Just like every tour, we’d be kicking this one off here in LA at our favorite old theater. It was just about as much a tradition as the shots Ash had us tossing back after every show.

It was the theater where Sunder had been discovered. The theater where Anthony had first talked to Baz after Sunder had gotten their first big break and opened for a huge band back in the day.

It was the same night Lyrik’s life had come crashing down.

Crazy how that old saying remained true. One door closes and another door opens. At the time, I seriously doubted Lyrik would’ve chosen the door his mistakes had led him through.

But ultimately, that door had led him to Tamar. Ties had been made that night. Aspirations set. Goals kicked into play.

It was where it all had begun. Always had seemed a fitting starting line.

Sweat slicked my back and brow, and I lifted the hem of my shirt to wipe it, trying to gather my breaths that had been pounded out during the session.

“Hell yeah, that was killer.” Ash tugged his teeth over his bottom lip as he set his bass on its stand. “All that speculation about Sunder going dry? Getting too soft to kick ass? Washed up? Now that is just about the most offensive shit the paps have ever gone on about. If they know one thing about us, they should know we always, always kick ass. That’s just one thing that hasn’t and won’t ever go out of style.”

Lyrik roughed a hand through his sweat-drenched hair. “Yeah. Some things do indeed remain the same. And if that’s our one constant? I’ll take it. No complaints here, man.”

Austin was all gloating grins as he chugged a bottle of water. “Hey, you assholes got me on board in place of the big brother. Did anyone seriously think we wouldn’t be killing it for the rest of our days once I took the stage? Now maybe if Baz wouldn’t have stepped down, we might be tellin’ a different story.”

Baz pointed at him. “Oh, you wish, little brother. I was the one who got the train barreling down the tracks. You just hopped on like a hobo snagging a free ride.”

“Hobo?” Austin went for him, throwing a bunch of fake blows to the side of Baz’s face that Baz deflected like an old pro.

“Who’s calling who a hobo? Considering your lazy ass spends half your time at the beach on Tybee Island,” Austin taunted as he jumped around, throwing those jabs and just missing his brother’s face.

Baz lifted his hands, palms out. “Hey, don’t be jealous I get to chill. I put in all the hard work at the beginning, and now I get to kick back and reap the rewards.”

Lyrik scoffed, voice brimming with sarcasm. “At thirty-one. Man, all those strenuous years of hard work you put in…don’t know how you survived it.”

Baz chuckled. “Watch it, dude, or next time you all want to crawl to my place in Savannah to record your next album, I’m all of a sudden gonna be all booked up.”

Ash gasped, hand over his heart. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Oh, you know he would,” Austin razzed.

You’d think with the way they went directly for the throat, there would be some hard feelings. But there was nothing but support bounding from the walls that were made for acoustics, their words an echo of encouragement as they bounced and played.

I was struck by a wave of regret.

Mark should have been here. A part of this.

I gritted my teeth, trying to hold back the rush of memories, but it was like sitting at that piano had set them free. The questions I’d done my best at dodging.

I’d accepted the path I’d been given and traveled it without question. Without any of those distractions or diversions.

Just like it applied to Lyrik? One door had been slammed in my face, and I’d been shoved through another by all the fucked-up mistakes I’d made.

Those mistakes pummeled me, right hook after right hook.

What if Mark were there? What if I hadn’t pushed him over the edge? What if he had a family?

Regret burned hot, and I attempted to shake it off while I focused on reorganizing all my shit I kept here at Ash’s. Made it easy, each of us having instruments at each other’s pads so we could play whenever inspiration struck. Usually at the drop of a dime.

Same way as the music came.

As a feeling.

An emotion.

When we were pissed and dealing with heavy shit or when we were floating with the clouds, blissed out when something amazing had come our way.

I suddenly felt the stare burning a hole in the side of my face. “So…Alexis, huh?”

This from Ash, the bastard. Had no clue how the asshole had restrained himself this long.

I shrugged. “We’re friends.”

“Really?” It was all a challenge.

Did my best to pass it off with a shrug, reining in the urge to lash out and at the same fucking time finally come clean. “Yep. Ran into her a couple weeks ago.”

And by ran, I meant I ran after her like some kind of twisted fuck. Like they needed that kind of ammunition.

“You ‘ran’ into her?”

So maybe that was obvious.

“Yep.”

“And?” he pressed.

“And we just…kind of hit it off. She’s super cool. She wants to learn how to play piano, so I’m going to teach her. Besides, that piece of shit is still out there running free after what he did to her. Wouldn’t be able to sleep at night if I thought she was down there, getting herself into trouble again.”

Silence struck the room like the ring after a bomb.

Deafening.

Baz looked at me like the dude was trying to climb right inside me. “You’re gonna teach her to play piano?”

I gave a tight nod.

He roughed a hand down his face and glanced away before that gray gaze locked on me, voice laced with caution. “How long’s it been, Zee?”

I turned away. “Doesn’t matter.”

Baz stood. “You’re really gonna stand there and pretend it doesn’t?”

Anger and regret and guilt bottled in my throat. A dangerous cocktail. “Just…don’t, man.”

Ash shook his head in some kind of pity. “Come on. You’re really going to pull this after the bullshit we’ve all been through? You’ve seen us at our lowest. Stood by us when we were making every mistake in the damned book. And that whole time we were making those mistakes? There you were…sober. Taking care of us. Going it alone like it was your responsibility.”

It was my responsibility, but he didn’t need to know that.

“Never once since the day you stepped into your brother’s shoes have I ever seen you with a girl, not since you broke up with whatever that chick’s name was when you were just a kid. And don’t pretend like you didn’t have an endless string of women just begging for your attention. And then you bring a girl into the fold and you’re gonna actually stand there and act like it’s nothin’?”

Just the fact he was mentioning Julie made me want to crawl right the hell out of my skin.

“I didn’t say it didn’t mean anything.”

Ash grinned, all teeth. “Now don’t go and get me wrong, because I am one happily married man, but that is one smoking hot woman. And the way she’s looking at you? Pretty sure the two of you are getting ready to go BAM.”

Fucker actually clapped his hands together.

His smirk grew. “And then you go and leave her with our girls for the last two hours? You’re in so much trouble, dude. Might as well hand over your balls, because I’m willing to toss down some Benjamins that girl has you by the dick.”

Trying a new tactic, I forced a grin. “You should know better than that, Ash, considering I’m the one who always ends up with all your dough.”

Austin chuckled from where he was leaning against the wall. “Except for the bedrooms, Zee…except for the pink and blue bedrooms. You totally blew that bet, brother.”

Years back when Ash had purchased the mansion in Savannah, Shea had bet him he’d be painting all the upstairs bedrooms pink and blue and filling them with a herd of baby Ashes.

I’d been a fool to bet against her. But at the time, I sure as hell didn’t think Ash would be settling down. It was a loss I’d gladly take.

Still, I played along, defending my bad bet through laugher. “Only one room so far. Shea has yet to win that bet—she said all the rooms. There are seven of them. Our boy Ash here has some work to do.”

Lyrik laughed. “Give him time, Zee, give him time.”

Baz set his hand on my shoulder. “Come on, Zee. Time to fess it up, because from where I’m standing, I don’t see what the problem is.”

Our conversation was cut short by the door cracking open.

Thank God.

I had no idea how to answer their questions. Had no response for what had changed or why I’d been that way in the first place. For years, they’d razzed me, giving me shit left and right. But it’d always been off-handed, in the end the lot of them letting me rest in peace.

Peace was about the farthest thing from what I felt.

Especially when in came a tumble of gorgeous women with even prettier hearts. They slipped into the attached sitting area off to the front of the big space that served as Ash’s music room.

But it was the one who came in behind Shea that stole my breath.

Literally.

Her eyes found mine and she lifted her hand in a small, timid wave, just a curl of her fingers before she followed Shea the rest of the way in.

Seeing her standing there in the mix of the women who’d come to mean the most to me felt like that was exactly where she was supposed to be. Like she belonged.

Shea plopped into one of the plush couches. “Hope y’all don’t mind us interrupting, but we figured if Alexis came all the way over here to spend the evening with us, she could at least get a glimpse at our sexy men doing what they do best.”

Ash feigned a mortal wound, a stab right to the heart. Dude was always such a damned clown. “Oh, my poor, beautiful Shea. If you really think this is what we do best, then your boy Baz here is doing it all wrong.”

Baz smacked Ash on the back of the head. “You only wish I had it all wrong. Shea here just didn’t want to embarrass the rest of you assholes in front of your girls. You know, just being thoughtful. That’s all. Though, I’m sure my wife has a hard time not bragging to her sisters about just how good my best is.”

“Don’t worry, baby, I always let the girls know how well my man keeps me satisfied.” Shea didn’t even hesitate to shout the flirt at her husband.

His lip curved at the edges, somehow soft and hard. “That’s what I thought. My woman wouldn’t know how to tell a lie that big, anyway.”

She pressed her hand over her heart, country drawl dripping with the innuendo. “Oh, no…I could never tell a lie that big.”

Tamar cracked up and raised her glass in Shea’s direction. They clinked them in the middle. “Oh, yeah. Now that’s exactly what I like to hear. Men that look like that and satisfy. I do believe we hit the jackpot.”

“Heck yes,” Shea agreed, taking a big gulp of her wine.

Willow and Edie giggled behind their hands, both of them turning red with the way Shea and Tamar went back and forth. Two of them should be used to it by now.

But it was the expression on Alexis’s face that washed through me like a ravaging flood.

Overpowering emotion gripped tight between us. Pulling and pulling and pulling.

Something soft and tender and sweet.

Fueled by faith and conviction that all the good things in this world waited on the wings. Just waiting to be captured.

Like she saw all that good shimmering like dazzling flashes of light on the fringes of the room.

Got the feeling she was doing her best to pour that belief into me.

Urging me to see it.

To reach out and take it.

Fuck. I had no idea how to process it. The fact that I wanted to, knowing I couldn’t, and still dipping my fingers in for a taste anyway.

Knew full well this was going to lead to disaster.

Maybe it was selfish, but it felt like these stolen moments with Alexis might just be worth it.

“Think we’re gonna call it a night. Need to get Alexis home.”

Shea pouted. “So soon?”

I looked at the watch around my wrist. “It’s midnight.”

“See, it’s early,” Tamar added.

I widened my eyes at both of them. “And you’re planning on keeping Willow up all night when she needs to rest and get up her strength for having that baby?”

Okay, so maybe that was a low blow. A little on the manipulative side. Because just like I knew he would, Ash jumped into action.

“Out. Everyone out.” Ash was all spastic arms as he gave Baz and Lyrik a little nudge. “Know you all can’t stand the thought of not being in my presence since a little Ash always makes everything better, but it’s high time I carry my girl upstairs and tuck her in bed so I can rub her feet and her back and her belly. Then if she’s up for it, I might show her a little more of what I do best.”

Willow frowned at her feet. Well, in that direction at least, because I was fairly certain she couldn’t see them. “But they’re ugly and swollen.”

Ash tsked. “Not even, darlin’. Every inch of you is as gorgeous as the day I met you, and I won’t ever be able to look away.”

Swore the girl swooned, and it made me fucking happy that the two of them had found each other. Also made me want to rip at my hair and grind my teeth, and the last thing I needed was for my brothers to catch onto the vibe I was feeding.

I lifted my jaw in Alexis’s direction, wishing I didn’t have the vision of stalking across the space and taking her in my arms rolling through my head. Kissing her like I had earlier.

This time not stopping.

“You ready?”

Her nod seemed reluctant. “Sure.”

She said her goodbyes, hugging and talking with the girls like it was the most natural thing as she told them how amazing it was to meet them, how thankful she was she got to share in their night.

She whispered something quietly to Willow, her expression so soft, her hand a gentle sweep down Willow’s belly as her teeth caught on her bottom lip.

Like she might be dreaming of the day that might be her.

Did it make me a bastard that the thought of it cut me to the core?

Jealousy fisted my hands. Couldn’t even stand the idea of her with another man.

Shining all that goodness on him. Not when I felt desperate to keep all that light for myself. Like she could ever be mine to keep.

Jesus. What was wrong with me?

I huffed out a breath in an attempt to clear my head, clapped Ash and Lyrik on the back, then bumped Austin’s fist as I told them I’d see them tomorrow.

Baz slowed my steps with a hand on my forearm. “You good?” he asked.

“Of course.”

Motherfucking lie. It always was. And I think it had always been Baz who’d known it ever since the day I’d shown at his door with a pack slung on my back and agony in my heart.

Baz narrowed his eyes to study me. Finally, he gave me a reluctant nod. “See you later.”

“Yup.” I headed toward Alexis. As I approached, she turned in my direction. Like she could feel that connection tighten. Drawing us closer. A tense, keening wire.

She smiled up at me. Softly. That expression alone hit me square in the chest.

“Let’s get you out of here.”

I weaved her fingers through mine, not having any clue where we were gonna go from there. But for just a little while, I was going to embrace it, her, every fucking thing.

No fear.

Just life.

I led her back through the rambling expanse of Willow and Ash’s house.

Without saying a word, I clicked open the front door and she followed me out into the night. It was dense and dark and heavy.

Something foreign thrummed through my veins, an exhilaration and joy I hadn’t felt in a long time. So long that I wondered if it could even be real or if I was just getting caught up in a trap that was only going to ruin me in the end.

Because I had two loyalties. And this girl couldn’t be one of them.

But that didn’t stop the purpose in our footsteps as I led her down the big concrete steps. The night sky opened up like a dark, magnetic sea as we stepped out from beneath the cover of the veranda and down onto the walkway.

I could hear her gasp in a breath. Could feel the tension of her hand as it squeezed against mine.

When I turned, I found Alexis with her face upturned, basking in the beauty as she watched the faint trickle of a star burning out.

“Did you make a wish?” My question grated out.

Alexis dropped her face back down to look at me, wonder in her eyes. “Don’t you know falling stars aren’t for wishing on? They’re a wish finally falling free. Somewhere out there…someone has a wish coming true.”

That statement alone was almost enough to drop me straight to my knees. Could barely form the admission as I wondered how the fuck this girl was so damned perfect. “Used to think that…back before I realized they were just people’s wishes coming to an end. Fizzling out.”

She stared up at me in that way that tightened my guts and made me feel like I was standing on uneven ground. “Maybe you’ve just forgotten how to wish.”

That space between us swelled, and her voice dipped in this wistfulness that cut me straight through.

“If we don’t believe in miracles, then what do we have left?”

“Lex…” I pulled her toward me. “Why is it you feel like a miracle?”

She buried her face in my shirt, both her hands clinging to me, her voice the softest praise. “You are the miracle, Zee. You were there in the moment I needed you most.”

I ran my fingers through her hair, let them brush down over that star tattoo I knew was etched on her neck, and murmured the words at the top of her head. “I want to be, Lex. I want to be there.”

“Thank you so much for bringing me tonight. You were right. I…loved your friends. Every crazy ounce of them.”

“Guess it means you fit right in, doesn’t it?” My heart ached with just how perfectly she did.

She laughed a soggy sound and hugged me tighter. “Goofball.”

I rubbed her back, both loving and hating how standing beneath the stars with her felt so natural.

Finally, I shook myself out of it and helped her back into the helmet. I straddled my bike and kicked over the engine. Never letting go of her hand, I helped her on and tucked her close so that sweet, sweet body clung to mine.

Warmth and heat and all things right.

The bike rumbled, just as deep and fierce as the rumble rolling in my chest. I clutched her hands to my stomach that quivered with need.

“Hold on tight,” I told her.

Her answer came as a breath across the shell of my ear. “I won’t let go.”

Something about the way she said it sounded like a promise. A promise I ached to keep but could never receive.

I took to the street, cool night air whipping at our faces. The girl clutched me a little tighter. Like she couldn’t get close enough. Swore I could feel her heart hammering at my back, just as sure as she could feel my heart hammering in my chest.

It thundered and roared and increased.

I needed to get away from her. Take her home and drop her at the door where I couldn’t hurt her. Before I got too close to those places that I couldn’t go.

But her car was back at my place. Another bad move I’d made in this no-win game.

Fifteen minutes later, I slowed in front of my building, fingers quick to punch in the code to the ground-level garage. My bike vibrated and grumbled as I slowly edged inside.

The garage door automatically slid shut behind us as I pulled into my reserved space, stretched out my feet, and killed the engine.

Silence.

It was a silence so thick and charged I felt like I could see it weaving around us, echoing back with lust and questions and need.

Alexis shivered when I helped her stand. Her legs were shaking, and with the way my blood went pounding, I knew it wasn’t just from the ride. She was feeling this, too.

I climbed off my bike, and my fingers brushed the silky softness of her skin as I again helped her free of the constraints of the helmet. She released a breathy, needy sigh. The warmth skated my skin and sent a thrill rushing through my veins.

“My bag is still inside your loft.” It sounded like both a warning and a confession.

“Yeah,” I uttered.

I swallowed hard like it might hold back some of this emotion threatening to spiral out of control. I clutched her hand, trying to remind myself of all the reasons I couldn’t give into this. Of all the reasons I couldn’t step over the line.

I tried to remember exactly who I would be betraying and exactly what I had to lose.

Neither of us said a word as we climbed into the elevator. Metal doors slid shut, closing us in, and with it, closing off air. Closing off sanity and reason and the fading sense of wrong and right.

Keep my hands to myself.

That was all I had to do.

I’d told her I’d try.

But this girl? She made me crazy with need, the way I was breathing her staggered breaths and she was breathing mine.

Energy lifted around us.

Shimmering and bright.

Alive and demanding.

Just as demanding as the plea of my body when I suddenly spun and pinned her against the mirrored wall. My hands were planted above her head, and her tight, sweet body was flush with mine.

A rush of shocked air gushed from between her lips. Blue eyes wide and needy as she looked up at me and locked those tiny hands in the fabric of my shirt. “Zachary.”

She begged it like a plea.

Like devotion.

Flames leapt between us.

Hot.

I gripped both sides of her neck, this girl in the palm of my hands.

Her pulse ran wild, and my dick grew hard. Just as damned desperate as the rest of me.

Her voice was a whisper. “No fear. Just life.”

No fear. Just life.

And God, just for a little while, I wanted to know what it would feel like to be alive.

My mouth crashed against hers. Hard and demanding against all her sweet, sweet belief.

She opened and gave.