Chapter 4

Grace

"Grace. Seriously?" Jenna laid across her big white bed at her parent's house, giving me a look I'd seen too many times over my short life.

"What?" I twirled in front of the mirror. "I like it. It's conservative."

"It's boring and old." She rolled onto her back and climbed off the bed, walking to stand between me and the mirror. "The eighties called, and they want their tie back."

She grabbed the bright pink tie I had on and tugged on it.

"I like this." I forced a frown as she walked toward her closet.

"No. You're not wearing that out tonight. Take it off. Now."

"I don't like your tone. Reminds me of Nate." I smiled wickedly and turned to face her. "Speaking of... tell me what's been going on with you guys. You know I have to live vicariously through you."

"No. You don't." She tossed me a white top and black miniskirt that would make a whore look needy.

"Yes." I tossed it back to her. "I do. I don't have a boyfriend."

"You know what?" She lifted her eyebrows and dropped the clothes on the floor, moving back to stand in front of me. "You've never had a boyfriend. We're in our early twenties. It's time to stop letting all that bullshit from your mother stop you from being who you really are."

She reached up and undid my tie before unbuttoning the white button up I had picked with pride from my closet. There was no way in hell anyone would hit on me at Kadia if I looked like a cross dresser.

"This is hot." I gripped her hand and wagged my eyebrows. "Go slow, okay?"

She laughed. "You like dick, and so do I."

I shrugged. "I wouldn't know." I glanced down. "I've never really had it."

"What?" She moved back like I'd scalded her. "We've been best friends our whole lives. You told me you slept with Tommy Johnson and Tanner Walls."

"I lied." I shrugged and moved away from her. "I'm sorry. Honestly." I hopped up on the bed as the familiar feeling of disappointment raced through me. "I've never slept with anyone."

"That's nothing to be sorry about." She moved in front of me and pushed my shirt over my shoulders. "It's beautiful. Are you saving yourself for marriage?"

"No. Yes. I don't know." I glanced down at my hands feeling like a child all of a sudden.

"Hey." She touched my chin. "Talk to me. I'm your best friend. We're like sisters."

"I want to sleep with someone, but not just anyone. It's too intimate, too much like giving myself up for nothing." I pushed at her chest. "Back up. You're in my space."

She laughed and moved back, picking up the shirt. "And is there someone you have in mind for giving up your V-card to?"

Heat rushed up my chest and coated my neck. "Erik, of course, but he would probably be appalled by it. Guys like him like a woman who knows what they want."

"And you don't know what you want?" She handed me the shirt. "Put this on and pull your boobs up a little so they show right at the top of the shirt."

I did as she said and tried to figure out how to get myself out of the most awkward conversation we'd had to date. "I want Erik."

"Good. Nate should be here any minute. Put on that skirt, and I'll make him call Erik."

"I thought you said Erik was horrible for me." I laid back and pulled off my tights before getting off the bed.

"Wow. Your ass looks great in those panties."

I turned and put my back to the mirror. "There aren't any panties there. Hence the word string." I laughed and reached for the skirt.

"You girls in here?" Nate's voice filled up the hallway, and I yelped and ran for the bathroom to find it locked.

"Yeah. We're just changing." Jenna rolled her eyes and turned as Nate walked in.

I stood with the skirt hanging in front of my waist, not able to think clearly enough to put the damn thing on. "I'm getting dressed!"

"Good. Turn around and show Nate how good your ass looks in those panties." Jenna lifted her finger in the air and twirled it around. "Turn. Seriously. You have no clue how good you look."

"What? No. Nate! Get out." I pointed to the door as the world felt like it was closing in on me. My goodie-goodie persona was sliding fast at the thought of Nate's approval of my ass. It would boost my confidence. It would turn me on.

I was a horrible friend.

"So..." Nate glanced between the two of us, the handsome bastard obviously okay with giving me a rating while his girlfriend was standing right there.

"Turn around. Seriously." Jenna walked toward me, grabbing my shoulders and turning me around.

I focused on not clenching my ass as I dropped my forehead to her shoulder. "I hate you so much."

"Wow. I never in a million years would have thought you were hiding such a beautiful body under those clothes, Grace. I'm impressed. You're an official cock-blocker for yourself." He clapped and winked as I turned and glared at him over my shoulder.

"Now, get out!"

He turned and walked out, laughing.

"See? I told you." She walked back to the closet, tossing me a pair of sexy black heels. "Wear your hair down and put on a little bit of makeup and we're heading out."

"I'm not going home with some weirdo tonight."

"I know you're not, but I want you to notice how guys react when you're not busy covering yourself up constantly. You're stunning, Grace. You need to see that."

"What if I lie and say that I do?" I gave her an innocent smile as she scoffed and walked out, leaving me with my thoughts. Was she really going to get Nate to reach out to Erik? Did I want that? He had to be five to six years older than me, and would he really be impressed by my virginity or think it was funny?

I didn’t know him that well, but something told me he was just enough of a dick to make fun of me about it.

Only one way to find out.

****

"I feel sick," I mumbled and walked toward the bar.

Jenna wrapped her arm around my shoulders. "Don't. Everything is fine. Just relax and have fun tonight. I'm not going to let you go home with a stranger. Drink and dance and just explore, Grace."

"Explore?" The sound of being so forward with my sexuality made my pulse spike. How long had I been holding myself back? Right. My whole fucking life.

"Hey, beautiful." The bartender leaned forward and smiled.

I glanced over at Jenna. "I'll just get a beer."

"Tell him." She laughed loudly. "He was talking to you."

"No, he wasn't." I glanced back at him as he nodded.

"Yeah. I was. You're gorgeous. What's your name, baby?"

I glanced at Jenna again, who rolled her eyes at me and turned to walk off. Something inside my chest swelled. Whether he was being nice or not... I liked it. I'd been working for so long not to get the attention that I wasn't sure how to handle finally getting it.

"It's Grace, and I'll take a shot of tequila. Two actually." I pressed my hands to the bar top and watched as his smile grew.

"It's on the house tonight. Anything you want." I licked at my bottom lip and moved toward the liquor.

"Find something you like?" Erik's voice surprised me a little. The sound of it washed over me, forcing me to realize that it didn't matter what he might want from me. I was willing to give it. All of it.

"The liquor or the bartender?" I glanced sideways at him before turning my attention back to the bar. I could play the bitch like he did most days in the library.

"Both?" He offered a card. "Put the lady’s drinks on my card with mine. It's not a request."

The guy nodded, his eyes widening a little.

I turned and lifted my first shot to my lips. "To the scariest guy in all of New York."

He took my other shot. "To the woman he'd choose to fuck every night if his life were any different."

The liquor burned on the way down, as did his words. The truth. He wanted me beneath him too, but his life wouldn't afford it. It was a life I knew nothing about, and yet I wanted to so bad.

"And one night would simply destroy everything." I licked my lips and set my shot glass down, knowing I was pushing in the wrong direction.

"You're just a child locked in that beautiful body, Grace. You don't need to dress like a slut for attention." He reached out and gripped my chin hard, leaning down and letting his lips hover above mine. Every pleasure point I had lit on fire, my body screaming for me to close the gap and submit fully to him. Power rolled off of him in intoxicating waves, and the darkness in his eyes called to me. "You already have everyone's when you're being yourself."

"I want more," I whispered and moved closer, only to feel the pressure of his free hand on my hip.

"I'm not the man you want in your life. Stop fooling yourself and get your head out of a book, kitten. I'm a monster, not a savior."

He kissed the tip of my nose and walked off, joining Jenna and Nate across the room. I turned and ordered a beer, grateful that the bartender was moving so fast that night.

I couldn't get enough air in my lungs as I stood there, feeling two feet tall. My mother had the power to cut me down to nothing, but it would seem that Erik Bertinelli did too.

"Hey." Nate moved up beside me and smiled.

"Are you still thinking about me in my panties?" I elbowed him and took a drink, liking the guy a little more now that he'd given me the thumbs up on being hot.

"Hell yeah. I wish Jenna were into girls too. We could have some fun tonight." He smiled and leaned his beer toward mine. "You know Erik cares about you."

"What? That's absurd."

"Why? Because he's a heartless bastard? He's here tonight, right?"

"Yeah. For you." I let my eyes drag down his back to the thick curve of his perfect ass. "I wanna do so many things with him. It scares me."

"It should." Nate chuckled and extended his hand. "Half of one of these will have your blood boiling and your inhibitions completely gone. Take it and tell him you got it off of someone and you need him to help make it stop."

"Make what stop?" I took the pill and glanced up into Nate's strong gaze.

"The lust raping your system." He pressed his hand to the bottom of mine. "Take it and force yourself to break a few boundaries tonight."

"I'm scared." I glanced down at it as the pulse in the side of my neck went wild.

"Good. You should be." He took a sip of his beer. "You both need each other. Make it happen, Grace. He'll fall in love with you before he knows what's happening."

I popped the pill in my mouth and shot it down with a quick sip of my beer as Jenna and Erik walked back toward us. "I want that."

"Of course you do." Nate moved around me, his voice low, seductive. "Because you're a good girl."

A shiver ran through me. I might have been before I showed up, but something told me that I wouldn't be for much longer.

To Be Continued…

What’d you think? If you liked it, grab you a copy of the rest of Grace & Erik’s love story . They go through highs and lows, but they get there. I promise. Hope you love it.

How about a look behind a few more curtains? I love sneak peeks. They’re like previews at the movie theatre. Hell, sometimes those are more fun than the movie. Let me give you a sneak peek of mine and my sister’s best-selling series opener for a naughty club owner, a cop and a sexy bad boy drug dealer. This threesome is so hot it burns the damn pages.

RAS: We’re nomads. Not like walking around hitchhiking the country, though I guess that would be sort of cool too. We’re using AirBNB for a few months just for fun. We visited Utah, Arkansas, and now? We’re in Boulder. It’s beautiful up here. Makes me kinda romantic.