Chapter 19

Olivia

I didn't answer his question right away because I had to pull back layers of lies about what I wanted in life to find the truth. We drove in silence with the radio playing something jazzy in the background. We pulled up to the airport a little while later and got our bags loaded onto the private jet that Luke had purchased a year or so ago. After getting a drink to help settle my nerves, I sat down next to Caden and let out a soft sigh.

"All right. I think I'm ready to answer your question now." I glanced over at him, trying not to let myself drown in his strong gaze. His eyes were the color of springtime - dark green with flecks of gold.

"Which one?"

"Was there more than one?" I took a sip of my drink and tried to calm my nerves. My hands were shaking slightly, which was embarrassing. I was scared to death of flying, but he'd most likely take it as me being nervous to be alone with him.

"Yeah. I asked if you still loved me, and I asked what you thought your life would look like."

"True." I set my glass down and glanced out the window as the plane started to move backward. "I thought we would be married by now. You'd be through with school, and I'd be at home with our kids."

"How many did we have?" He smiled as I glanced back over at him. Why did he have to be so fucking adorable?

"Three. An older boy-"

"That we named Charles after your daddy?"

Tears blurred my vision. "Yeah. And a little girl after your momma's sister Elizabeth, and a little boy after your daddy."

He reached out and touched the side of my face. "Don't cry, okay? It's supposed to be a fun thing to think about where things would have gone."

"But it's not fun. It sucks in a way that I can't begin to describe." I pulled his hand from my face and picked up my drink. "I'm scared."

"Of what?" He moved closer and took my free hand in his.

"Of flying." I gave him a weak smile and shrugged. "I don't know why. I just am."

"Don't be. I'm right here." He wrapped his fingers around mine and lifted them to kiss my hand a few times. "And the answer to the other question?"

"I don't wanna talk about it." I swallowed the hot lump of regret in my throat. I'd made a million wrong decisions in my life, but it felt like the one with the most weight was not letting him explain himself all those years ago. Every choice I'd made after graduation had a direct correlation to losing the one thing that mattered most to me - Caden Taylor.

****

"What? Is there not two single rooms available?" I moved up and put my forearms on the counter as I glared at the hotel attendant.

"They are two separate rooms with an adjoining living space. That's just the way the suites here work. I can look for something else if you like, but we're pretty booked up. It's a lot like two rooms, these are just nicer."

"Look, please." Caden touched my lower back and gave me a nod, letting me know that he would take care of it for us.

"No. It's fine. I'm being ridiculous. If it's two rooms that have doors that lock, I'll be good." I dropped my hands to my side and realized how silly I sounded as the clerk looked at me and then back at Caden like he might be a serial rapist. I chuckled at the thought.

Caden grabbed our bags and handed them off to the bellman as I gave him an apologetic look.

"Forgive me. I'm just worried about being alone with you. I didn't mean anything by-"

"It's okay. I get it. I'm scared shitless too." He winked and moved to the elevator. "But, you and I aren't kids anymore. We're grown-ass adults, and we both care about Luke. Though you're far too good of a woman for him, he's still your man. Simple as that."

I nodded as my stomach soured. Was Luke my man? It didn't much feel like it anymore. He was my lover, but that was a carnal need that I was using to fill the real gap in my soul. The desire to belong to someone. Someone like Caden.

"Here we are." He opened the door and smiled at me. "No more being worried. We'll be fine. I'll keep my hormonal teenage boy outbursts to a minimum and you don't show off your damn panties anymore and we'll be good."

"Did you like them?" I couldn't help but tease him as I walked to the door.

"Is that a fucking joke? They were on you. I loved them." He moved up to the door, and I couldn't help but notice the way his hands shook a little. It melted every part of me.

"What's on the agenda for tonight?" I walked into the plush penthouse suite and breathed in deeply. A large bouquet of yellow tulips sat on the table with a card. They had to be from Luke. How in the world he knew what my favorite flowers were was beyond me. It left me feeling like shit thanks to the thoughts running through my mind.

"We have dinner at Mr. and Mrs. Parkmount’s house tonight. They live over in River Oaks. The ritzy side of town."

I turned and smiled at him as I paused in the living room. "I'm well aware of where River Oaks is. Remember your mother would pile us all up to go look at Christmas lights over there and Jake Isaac would always tease you about selling out to have one of those big places one day. He said he would come do the lights for you."

"Not for me. For us." He winked and walked over to stand behind me. "I'm going to see him later this week. We don't have it planned, but I know he would love to see you."

"He's here? In Houston?" I turned as warmth spread through me. Jake was Caden's best friend in high school, and like the big brother I never had. He was a year older than us but so damn good to both of us.

"Yeah, he is." Caden reached out and touched the side of my face. "Come with me."

"Stop touching me." I smiled and turned from him to walk toward the flowers. "I'll have to lock myself behind that door over there."

"I'll find a key if necessary. You have to eat. Jeez."

I chuckled and plucked the card from the bouquet as the sound of a door closing behind me caused me to turn. He was in his room and had given me the privacy of reading Luke's note alone.

Olivia,

I don't know where this is going, but even a friendship is better than nothing. I've been searching the sea of faces around me every day for six years looking for you. It's going to be an uphill battle to figure things out and understand where I fit into your life, but I'm in no hurry, baby. Anything you're willing to give me - I'll take it.

I always have and still do.

Caden

Hot tears rolled over my cheeks as I leaned in and smelled the flowers. Of course Luke didn't know about my love of yellow tulips. Only a few people in my life knew. My daddy, who was gone, and the boy who had my heart.

I turned and stared at the closed door for a long while, wondering what the fuck I was getting myself into. Maybe it was just a friendship right now, and that was honestly more than enough. Unfortunately, the beginning steps to even considering any sort of relationship with Caden included tearing off the Band-Aid that laid over the past and examining how well the wound had healed.

I needed to know... had he really said all those things about me after us taking each other's innocence that night or had something else happened?

"You all right?" He stuck his head out of the door like he was waiting for a bomb to explode.

"Yeah." I laughed and wiped at my tears. I lifted the card in the air. "This just means a lot to me."

"Good. I hoped it would. Now, go get dressed, and if you need help adjusting your pretty white panties-"

"Caden!" I shook my head and walked toward the bedroom.

"Too much? Too soon?"

I didn't respond. I couldn't. Emotion held my voice captive.