Daniel
Seattle, Washington
"So why is Martin so dead set on getting Terra lined up to take over the team?" My father leaned back in his chair.
I reached out and ran my hand over the old wooden table in their dining room. I'd grown up around that table. A shit-ton of memories were made there, my favorite being Terra laid out, letting me touch all over her. We'd come so close to making love as kids, but I always stopped it.
"What?" I glanced up and forced myself back into the moment. "You say something, Dad?"
He chuckled and reached out and gripped my forearm. "What's going on with you? You've been out of it a lot lately, and you're spending a lot of time at the bars again. Lyndsay is all of our responsibility, of course, but she looks to you as her father. You're all she really has, Dan."
I nodded, knowing he was right. "I'm lonely." I shrugged and leaned back in my chair. "It's stupid, but it's true."
"It's not stupid, but you know what I'm going to tell you." He lifted his eyebrow and smiled.
"Yeah. I know, dad. I'm not going to find the kind of woman I'm after in a bar." I glanced down at my hands as the sound of my mother and Lyndsay laughing in the kitchen warmed my heart. "I wouldn't be nearly as worried about who I bring home if it weren't for peanut." I nodded toward the kitchen.
"And that makes you a good man." He reached out and tapped the table in front of me like he had been doing my whole life. It was his gentle way of telling me to look up. "You'll find her, Dan. I promise you. Just start looking with more than your pecker."
I snorted and shook my head. "You could have left that part out."
"What part?" My mom walked into the room with a platter of eggs, bacon, and pancakes. "What did we miss?"
"Yeah! What did we miss, Daddy?" Lyndsay reached for me.
I pulled her into my lap and wrapped my arms around her before leaning in to kiss her cheek. "Nothing. Your pawpaw was being a dirty old man."
"What?" My mother put the platter down and gave my father a stern look. "What were you talking about before I came in?"
"Dan's love life." He reached for a piece of bacon and smiled at me. "Tell your mom what I said, big man. Go ahead."
"Nope. I'm outta this." I grabbed a plate and moved Lyndsay in the seat next to me. She smiled up at me, and I couldn't help but lean in to kiss the top of her head again. "Tell Mimi and PawPaw to let it go. We'll find us a queen when the right one shows up for my princess."
Lyndsay giggled. "Nope. Mimi and PawPaw can do what they want. They give me chocolate cake when you're not looking!" She sounded just like me somehow. The thought of it made everything better. My sister would have been proud of her little girl, and probably even of me.
"Peanut!" My mom and dad yelled together.
I glanced over at them. "I knew about the cake. You guys leave crumbs everywhere you go."
We all shared a good laugh before my father prayed over the meal. It was my mom that broke the silence.
"So, if we're talking about your love life."
"We're not." I gave her a look that usually got me in trouble.
"Don't raise your eyebrows at your momma, boy," my father barked out.
I lifted my hands in surrender as Lyndsay giggled beside me. "Sorry. There's just nothing to talk about, Mom. I'm trying to focus on the team and Peanut right now. I don't have time for anything else."
"But he told me that he's lonely." My father winked at me.
"Brother." I rolled my eyes and got scolded for that too. It was like I was sixteen again.
"Daniel." My mom reached over and slid her hand over mine. "Why don't you ask Martin what's going on with Terra? She was such a big part of your life back when you were behaving better. Maybe she could be a part of it again."
"Oh, Lord. Not Terra Harmon again." My dad shook his head before shoving a piece of sausage in his mouth.
"Roy. Watch how much pork you eat. You know your heart doctor-"
"Back to Terra please." My father licked at his fingers. "She was a wild child back then, Dan. You know it. You tried to keep her in line and it ended up breaking you two up and destroying you. I thought we'd never get you to smile again after she walked out of your life."
"I don't need a recounting of the past, Dad." I picked up my fork and ate a bite of my eggs, groaning at how good they were. No one made them like my mother did. "She's living in Oakland now, and doing really well for herself."
"Married?" My mom smiled as if there were an innocent bone in her body.
"No clue." I shrugged. "I didn't ask Martin or Lance at breakfast earlier this week."
"Lance was in town?" My mom reached over and pulled my napkin in my lap.
"Yeah." I picked it up and wiped at my mouth. "I guess Martin is putting Terra as his heir to the team."
"Oh. Wow." My mom's eyes brightened a little. She loved Terra Harmon like crazy, no matter how many struggles I'd had when we were younger. She believed we were made for each other. I believed it too, but the time had passed.
"Back to Terra." My father butted in as Lyndsay hopped down with a piece of sausage in her hand.
"Keep your hands off the couch, Missy!" Mom called after her as she bounded away.
"Otay Mimi!"
I smiled. "There's nothing to talk about, guys. Terra isn't going to come back into my life."
"She sure as hell is if Martin croaks, Dan." My dad leaned toward me. "And you need to be prepared. The girl is a wild child."
"She is not!" Mom countered.
"I don't know what she is guys, but drop it. We had a thing in high school, and yes, I thought we would end up together raising kids by now, but we didn't. She's a great girl but deserves someone else. I'm not the guy I used to be. You both know that." I took a few more bites of my breakfast, hoping like hell they would leave it alone. I yearned for Terra bad enough on my own. I didn't need them bringing her up as if the universe was playing a fucked up joke on me.
"Alright, but my opinion still stands as your mother." Mom tilted her head as her expression softened. "You need to start looking for love, Daniel. You're not the kind of man that deserves cheap sex from hookers."
Embarrassment welled in my chest as my neck and face burned. "Mom. Really?"
"She's right, son. You need to leave that life behind. It's dangerous and the fires of hell are waiting for you."
"Oh, brother." I picked up my coffee mug and leaned back. "If I'm going to hell for sleeping with a hooker then we're all in trouble. That's the least of my worries."
My mom chuckled. "Enough of this nonsense. Eat your breakfast and get some rest. You're pitching tonight, right?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Good. Pull out some of that fancy shit you got hiding in your back pocket." My dad's smile widened. "You know what I'm talking about."
"Alright, Dad. I will. Just for you."
****
"Top of the third and Daniel McAdams is on fire tonight ladies and gentlemen." The announcer's voice filled the stadium.
I got into position and threw one more practice pitch to Gary from the mound. The displays around the stadium registered 96 miles per hour. My arm ached, but I was still throwing heat. The crowd erupted as loud music billowed from the speakers.
I glanced to my first baseman and nodded. We were shutting this shit down fast. I needed a quick game and a win on my list of accomplishments. It would take away the dark thoughts I had about my love life or lack thereof.
My father was right. Slutting around had me feeling like shit inside. I wasn't that guy at all, and yet over the last eight years, I'd become him. The skin of a playboy fit tight, but I yearned for so fucking much more.
I put the next three batters down with ease and walked off the mound to the sight of the crowd dancing. Glancing up to the owner’s box, I saw Martin leaning toward the glass, his thumbs up and a big smile on his aging face. I lifted my thumb up and nodded at him.
I couldn't help but wonder what he thought of me. My mom loved Terra, his only daughter like she belonged in the family, but my dad thought she was an unruly slut who wanted in my pants. Did Martin know how I felt about his girl?
Not that I planned on telling him. Fuck that.
"Good job out there, man." Our head coach, Joe stood and popped me on the butt as I walked down into the dugout.
"Thanks, coach." I pulled off my glove and dropped down on the bench. A smile haunted my lips as I thought about my pitching coach, Rick's comments. He was always on my ass no matter how good I did. I knew what he was up to, but I wasn't in little league anymore. It was a bad cop technique he only used with me because he believed that I could be the best. I was almost positive that time was passed now that I was moving into my thirties, but who knew. I still wanted to try for it.
"Dude. Did you hear about Martin putting his daughter and not his son as his heir to the team? I thought he had to sell that shit to someone else." One of the younger players sat down on my right, his eyes filled with mischief.
Gary, our catcher and the oldest guy on the team sat down to my right. "And it's his prerogative to do what he wants. He owns the team."
"But a woman? Come on." The younger player leaned back and let out a sound of disgust.
"She's more than capable. I bet she could outrun you, outhit you, and she's much better looking than you by a mile." Gary chuckled and leaned back. "Martin is brilliant. He knows what he's doing."
Did he? I kept my thoughts to myself. I had too much invested in the conversation. Where I wanted to see Terra again, I sure as fuck didn't want to put us in the awkward situation of her owning the team. It was a hard job, and I didn't know of another female owner.
"You okay?" Gary turned and stared down at me. He knew a little bit of my story seeing that the old timer had been playing for Martin for as long as I could remember.
"Fuck yeah. Why wouldn't I be?" I slipped into character, pulling on the persona the guys expected from me. All of them but Gary.
"I see." He nodded and turned back to the field, done with me and my bullshit. I couldn't blame him.
I leaned back and closed my eyes as we ran through our batting line up. My dad was right. I was fading in and out more lately than I had been before. I couldn't help it. I wanted to know who she was now more than ever. Was she the wild child that ran her hands over my cock every chance she got or had she settled down? Which way did I want her to be?
Fuck. I didn't care. I just wanted her.