Caden
"Do you want these here or in your filing cabinet?" Annie moved into my office as I stared at the screen in front of me, but saw nothing.
"Do you think I'm a good guy? That I'm the kind of guy that would never hurt someone intentionally?" I glanced up, not meaning to let my thoughts slip from my lips. I couldn't help it. Over the last five days, I'd analyzed my relationship with Olivia a million times. She was the core cause of all the other failed relationships in my life. I could almost pinpoint the moment in each where I realized the girl wasn't anything like my first love... and I would kick her out. It was almost pathetic how often it had happened over the years.
"You're a really good guy." Annie sat down in the chair in front of my desk and brushed her hair back as if trying to get the stray hair to rejoin the others in her bun. "What's going on? You've been a little off your game all week."
"Have I?" I had no emotion to offer to the conversation, but I needed perspective. Though Annie might not be the best person to help me get it, she was the only one that got into the office before eight. Lucky her.
"Yeah. Did something happen over the weekend that you're not sharing?" She lifted her eyebrow and studied me.
"No. Yes. Maybe." I ran my fingers through my hair and got up, walking over to my filing cabinet and fingering through a few files. "I just heard from a good friend that my high school sweetheart was doing really well. She's got a great career and a guy that isn't the best, but he's an okay dude. He'll take care of her for sure. I don't know. I just-"
"Feel cheated?" Annie asked.
"Yeah. Big time." I glanced over my shoulder. "She was supposed to be mine. Forever."
"You're such a softie. Where is that guy in the middle of the staff meetings when Luke is reigning terror on everyone?"
I laughed and pulled out the Parkmount account file. "You guys deserve that shit most of the time, and you know it."
"True." She stood up. "I'm here if you want to talk or if you need anything."
"I do need you to book me a flight and hotel stay for a night in Houston. I'm leaving next week."
"A day would be helpful." She smirked.
"True. Let me talk to Luke when he gets in. His new advisor might be going with me."
"You mean his woman?" She shook her head and walked to the door. "Someone needs to tell that poor girl that he's not exactly on the up and up with his sexual dealings."
"What?" I half-choked on a laugh. "And how would you... Wait. I don't want to know."
"No, you don't. Better to leave the past in the past." She wagged her eyebrows and walked out, closing my door behind her.
Annie? Really? Who else was my brother sleeping with? And was he really sleeping with someone while dating Olivia or were his exploits in the past? I had to know. She had to know. Where I couldn't honestly fathom anything happening between the two of us, I wanted it so fucking bad I could almost taste it. And either way... she needed to know if Luke was sleeping around on her. Nothing could be worse to find out on her own.
"Except having someone you love tell the whole fucking high school that you have a shrimp dick and were the worst lay in the universe." Anger burned through me at the memory of the day after we'd lost our virginity together. I was on cloud nine, and more than sure that we would get married right after college. I'd planned on proposing at our graduation party, though she would give me hell for getting the ring, but no... I wasn't enough. Not nearly enough. Or she was a great liar.
"Bitch," I muttered under my breath and dropped down into my chair. I was angrier with myself for diving back into the memory than at her for ripping me to shreds with her rumors. She'd never been the kind of girl to do something like that, or maybe I just didn't know her at all.
I grabbed my phone from the desk and flipped through the numbers, looking for Jake. I could talk with Jeremy, but honestly, the last thing I needed was him slipping in front of my brother and spilling the truth. That would be a conversation that I'd rather not have.
"Hey man!" Jake's voice caused my lips to lift in a smile.
"Hey, Jake. How are you, old friend?" I leaned back in my chair and let my angst drain away.
"Better now." He laughed. "What are you doing besides ruling Wall Street?"
"I'm actually going home for an extended weekend next week. I'm flying in Wednesday."
"Oh shit, really? I'm actually home all week next week too. Paw Paw is turning a hundred. Scary, man."
"Wow. That's great. Let's see if we can't get together. I'll give you a buzz next week and we'll set something up."
"Sounds great. So... what's bothering you?"
I chuckled and brushed my hand down my face as the sound fell flat. "Nothing. Everything."
"Something for sure. Spill brother. It's me."
He was the only one in the world I would spill to. Having him only a stone's throw away in Maine should have had me visiting him far more often, and yet I couldn't seem to get away from the office long enough to catch my breath. We'd built an empire but almost lost ourselves in the process. At least I had. Luke seemed to have a great grasp on everything in his life, work included.
"You ready for this bomb?" I sat up and turned toward the windows at the far end of my office.
"You're getting married?"
"No. Luke has a new girl that he's bringing here to the office to become an investment advisor with us." I got up and walked to the window.
"That sounds like a shit storm in the making."
"Right, but here's the kicker. It's Olivia Desmant."
The sound of Jake choking on something would have normally caused me to laugh, but the situation left me numb and aching far more than I wanted to admit.
"Are you fucking kidding me right now? Your Olivia is dating Luke?"
"Yeah, bro. Fucked up, right?" I pressed my shoulder to the glass and let my eyes move across the skyline.
"So far beyond fucked up. I can't even... How did... Damn, man."
"Yeah. I came face to face with her last week on Friday night at the company party and Jake, shit... she's so damn beautiful. So far beyond what I imagined she would become. I feel like someone has poured a variation of poison and fire ants down my throat. One minute I'm hurting so bad I could fucking fall over and the next my skin is crawling. I keep trying to stop myself from imagining her with Luke, but he's been talking about her for three years. I don't know why I didn't ask him who she was. I just didn't want to know. The things they do together-" My lungs constricted as I pressed my forehead to the window. "I still love her. God, I feel like such a puss, but I love her so goddamn much."
"Shit, Caden. You need to figure this out then. Caring about someone after they hurt you the way she did means that it's gotta be love. The fact that six years later you're still bent over by her means that you need to go after her. She's supposed to be yours, man."
"She's Luke's girlfriend. I can't do that to my br-"
"Your brother is a piece of shit, and you know it. He's not a good guy at all. Whether you end up with Olivia or not, you need to tell her about Luke. You owe that to her for the good years you guys had together."
"I wanna forgive her, but every time I think about walking into that locker room the morning after we got together for the first time, I just want to tear the walls down around me." I pursed my lips and pressed my free hand to my stomach as it turned over.
"Then work through your anger, and consider the same thing I've been asking you to consider for years. Maybe she didn't say those things. That's not the girl I knew, at least."
"Tell me what's going on in your world. You still dating that pretty photographer?"
"Mmmm... so you're going to change the subject on me, I see."
"It's a ninja trick. You should try it from time to time." I turned and walked back to my desk as the door opened and Luke poked his head in, motioning for me to come see him when I got done.
"Right. Kari and I are still dating. I'm thinking about popping the question, but I want to wait until Christmas. She's incredible, Caden."
"I bet. Is she going to be with you next week?"
"Yeah. You'll get to meet her."
"I think Olivia will be with me on the trip, but I'm pretty sure she'll go see her mama after we finish up on Wednesday."
"Shame. I would love to see her again." He cleared his throat. "Hey."
"What?"
"You need to consider having a heart to heart with her and clearing this shit up. It doesn't mean anything is going to change, but at least you can be friends again. That's going to be important if she ends up with Luke."
"God help her." I tapped the desk and checked the clock. "I gotta run, but I'll see you next week. Thanks for listening to me whine about the same old shit."
"Second verse... same as the first. Fix it, brother. Go find out what happened."
"I know what happened."
"I don't think you do. Later."
I set the phone down and walked to Luke's office, half expecting to see Olivia in there with him. She was supposed to start the day before, but she never came in, and I didn’t want to appear overly eager with my questions, so I let it go. I hadn't seen any signs of him setting up an office or anything for her either though. Knowing my brother, he was probably going to share his office with her. I'd not be able to be in the same building with them if I thought-
"Hey. I'm back here." Luke's voice surprised me as I turned in the hall toward my brother.
"Olivia starting today?"
"Yep. I got her an office at the other end of the hall near Jeremy. He's going to help with getting her set up with IT and will be a good mentor about our way of doing things when you and I are busy. She was going to start yesterday but had a few last minute things to wrap up. I told her to close the doors to her past and show up fresh and ready to take on the world with us." He gave me a cocky grin.
"Great. I need to finish booking the trip to Texas. Is she going with me, or not?" I wasn't sure what end result I was hoping for, but when he nodded 'yes’, I almost sighed with relief.
"All right. I'll finish getting the rooms and flights booked."
"Two rooms, please." Luke laughed and walked past him as if the idea of the two of us staying in a room together was comical. Funny would be the last emotion I could imagine experiencing.