Chapter 21

Olivia

"I love this lookout." I parked the car and looked over at him, trying hard not to let him know how close I was to breaking all the rules. "You wanna go lay on the hood?"

He laughed and opened his door. "It's going to be a tight squeeze, but we can do it."

I got out of the car and walked to the front before leaning against the car and working on my shoes. The straps were tight, and I almost lost my balance.

Caden reached out and grabbed me before kneeling in front of me and working the shoes off my feet.

"Thanks." I moved up on the car and laid back. "Are we really in our mid-twenties? This scene feels like it belongs to us from years back."

He smiled and got up on the car beside me, but didn't lay back. He turned on his side and propped himself up on his elbow, leaving him to almost hover above me.

His dark hair and tanned skin were a deadly combination to any woman he turned his sights on.

"Why aren't you dating someone?" I moved closer to him as the wind blew. It had little to do with the temperature and much more to do with wanting to be close to him.

"I haven't found the right girl yet."

"No?" I wagged my eyebrows. "Tell me what you're looking for. I have some single friends."

"Yeah, all right." He reached over and brushed a random strand of hair from my face. "She has to have sandy blonde hair and big blue eyes."

"All right. I know a few of those kinda girls." I clasped my hands below my breasts and tried to breathe through my mouth so the tantalizing scent of his cologne would stop drowning me in lust.

"Alabaster skin and a great smile. She has to play piano, and sing in the church choir." He ran the back of his fingers over my cheek. "And she needs to want kids, and love sex. I know that last one is going to be hard to find, but I want to have loads of practice in making babies, you know, so we get it right."

"Practice in making babies?" I laughed loudly and moved away from him only to turn on my side to mimic him. "You love sex?"

"Only with the right woman."

"Have you had a lot of sex over the years?"

"I've not made love to anyone."

"Bullshit." I sat up and pulled my legs up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them and glancing out at the city lights.

"I've fucked a lot of girls, which I regret tremendously, but being young gives you a green card to being dumb, I guess." He sat up and moved closer, pressing his shoulder against mine.

"Have you ever made love?" I hated to ask, but I needed to know what I was. Somewhere trapped inside of me was the notion that our one night together didn't mean anything to him. The taunting of my peers and people that were supposed to be my friends left me broken. It was stupid to live in the past, and yet I couldn't push beyond it.

"Only once. My heart was ripped from my chest the next day." He shrugged. "And the more I think about it, the more I realize that maybe I got it all wrong."

"Got what all wrong?" I leaned my head over and laid it against his thick shoulder as I closed my eyes. There was no strong emotion pulsing through me to stand up and defend myself against whatever he might throw at me regarding our last night together. I'd done nothing wrong but trust him.

He turned and kissed the top of my head. "Did you tell the cheerleaders that I had a little dick? That I was the worst lay in the world and that I forced myself on top of you?"

"What?" I jerked back like someone had doused me in ice water. "Why in the fuck would you say that?"

"Because." He lifted his hands as I got off the hood and took a few steps back. How dare he turn the tables on me and make it sound like it was my fault our world was destroyed that day.

"Because it's the truth in my mind. That's what I was told. I couldn't even hold my head up on graduation day. I left here and went to New York to recreate myself. To try and forget how bad it hurt to have a knife slid between my ribs on the morning after I gave myself to you. I was saving myself just for you... and then you betrayed me."

"What? No, I didn't. I would never do that to you." I wrapped my arms around my chest. "The cheer squad said that you told everyone I was a whore. That you were the one that talked to the counselors about your whoring girlfriend and they fucking called my parents. I had to sit in between my mom and my-" My voice broke as a sob took its place. "You ruined me."

"No way." He slid off the car and moved toward me faster than I could back up. "No fucking way I would do that. I would have sat between your parents myself and taken any beating anyone could give to save you. I'd never hurt you. I would have died for you, Olivia. I still would."

I couldn't figure out how to accept his words as truth. "I remember seeing the disgust on your face that next day at school. I'll never forget the way you looked at me. Like giving myself to you didn't mean anything other than the fact that you thought I was easy."

"Easy? Is that a fucking joke?" He gripped the sides of my face and forced me to look up at him. "I was trying to get into your panties for seven years. You are the worst whore in the world if that's the case."

I laughed, despite the fear that clouded my mind. I had to get away from him. If he didn't hurt me, then why weren't we together? Luke.

"You didn't tell them those things?" I whispered and slid my hands over his sides to pull him closer to me.

"Never. You didn't say that shit about me either?" He leaned down and brushed his nose against mine.

"Fuck no." I leaned in further as his arms wrapped around the tops of my shoulders.

"I tried to get to you back then, but between your daddy's shotgun and you ignoring me completely…"

"I thought it was you that ruined my life." I pulled back a little.

"Well, I'm telling you that I didn't. I would never hurt you. Not ever." He slid his hands up my back, pressing in softly as he leaned down and brushed his lips against mine. "I love you. I've loved you all my life. You know this."

"I can't do this. Whatever happened, it happened. We can't undo it." I gripped him tighter, letting my body betray my mind. "Your brother doesn't deserve this."

Caden kissed me softly, nothing more than a quick peck and moved back. "Give me the keys and let me get us back to the hotel. We can talk there."

"About what?" I grabbed my shoes and handed him the keys before getting back into the car.

"About Luke." He buckled up and glanced at me. "I'm so glad you're not the heartless bitch I believed you to be. I couldn't imagine how seven years meant nothing to you. My whole childhood, gone and for what?"

"I felt the same." I buckled up and let my shoes drop between my legs. "I'd rather hear whatever you're going to say about Luke now. I'm tired of being played with. If he's playing me."

"He's a bastard." Caden started the car and reached for my hand.

"I am too most days of the week." I closed my eyes and sunk down into my seat as he kissed my fingers.

"He's sleeping with Annie, Olivia." He gripped my hand tighter as I came up from my restful position and exploded.

"What? Are you sure? You're not just-"

"Never." He glanced over at me with a dominant glare. "I wouldn't lie to you. Fuck that. I might still want you like I did six years ago, but I would never fuck up your life to make mine right. I wouldn't do that shit to my brother either."

"How do you know?" I tugged my hand free from his. I wasn't a child. I could handle the truth.

"Here." He pulled his phone out of his pocket and handed it to me. "There's no way I could know and not tell you."

I took the phone but didn't take my eyes off of him. "When did you find out?"

"Tonight."