“Let’s recap. Politto knows Gabriella.” Farley stops pacing and says, “From here on we refer to her as Gabriella Volante, she is not to have any connection to Ella Parker.” He resumes pacing and continues, “Politto knows Gabriella survived the attack, but that’s all he knows. Once Regina was murdered, Razzo has not made contact with Gabriella in any way. We can only assume that the only reason Gabriella is still alive is because Politto doesn’t know her new identity.” Farley takes a long hard look around the room before settling his eyes on me.
My blood turns to ice. I want to be there the day that fucker is either handcuffed in the back of a squad car or shot to death. I’d like to be the person to put him in the ground.
“Frank Politto,” Farley points to the fucker’s face. “He knows he’s a dead man. He said there isn’t a doubt in his mind that his uncle will have him killed the minute he’s convicted and sent to prison. He’s screwed up way too many times. If we hadn’t arrested him, he would have been taken out by now. We are exploiting Frank’s insecurities. We will make him a plea deal, in exchange for testimony against his uncle. He would be protected during trial and put into the program once Politto is convicted.”
“If he is convicted,” one of the suits says out loud.
“When.” Farley levels him with a murderous look before continuing.
He turns to face the room. “Frank always reported the rent collection tallies of Razzo’s properties on a monthly basis to Politto. Through his lawyer, Frank will tell Politto there is one property that Razzo instructed Frank to ignore. We will have an agent similar to Gabriella, both in physical details and height, living at Razzo’s property. She’s being moved in as we speak, just in case Politto stakes it out for a while before striking. Razzo will communicate with the alias Gabriella, arranging for them to meet only once. It will be a goodbye before Razzo sends Gabriella away to ensure her safety. The only thing left to discuss is the date of this meeting and making sure Politto shows.”
It takes us eight hours to come up with a well thought out, step by step plan.
“A mini-command center will be set up in a spare bedroom with twenty-four-seven monitoring of all exterior exits at that location. If Politto decides to strike at night, we’ll be waiting.” Farley moves back to the whiteboard, stares at Razzo’s picture, and says, “Questions?”
The room explodes with everyone speaking at once. Farley addresses each agent calmly.
Rob leans toward me and asks, “You okay with this?”
“Do I have a fucking choice?”
“Ben, it’s a good plan. She’ll remain safe. He’ll never find her.”
My logic tells me he’s right, but my heart still doesn’t give a fuck. “There are still things that can go wrong, Rob. We are putting our trust in a bunch of fucking murderers, expecting them to lead us to another murderer.”
“Farley knows what he’s doing.”
Gazing around the room, these agents are all here for one purpose. Farley handpicked every one of them. I agree, Farley’s reputation precedes him, but as far as I’m concerned, the only foolproof plan is to throw Ella on a boat and sail away forever.
The room still vibrates with all the different conversations occurring at the same time. I quickly pull out my phone and text her my xo, wondering what she’s doing in that apartment by herself. This can’t be easy on her. In hindsight, maybe it wasn’t a good idea to choose a location at the beach. That’s the equivalent of tying a child up in the center of a candy store.
A throbbing headache develops at my temples. I am mentally exhausted and scared. The combination is making me want to leave this all behind and start over. I should have tried harder to convince her that leaving was the right thing to do. When I’m here, my brain is working overtime on this case. When I’m with Ella, my brain is working overtime on protecting her in every way. I want it to be over with. I just want to be with her in a normal way, and not in the looking-over-her-shoulder-constantly-fearing-for-her-life kind of way.
I live that way every day. I don’t want that for her.
By the time I finally get back to her, it’s well past eight. “Babe?” I call out when I don’t see her in the apartment.
“Out here,” she says from the balcony. She sits on the chaise, covered in a blanket, staring out at the ocean. God, I’ve missed her. I’m so tense and wound tight, but just seeing her, slowly releases the knots in my neck and back.
I bend toward her for a kiss before lifting her legs and placing them on my lap to sit on the edge of her lounge chair. Even in the darkness, I can see the same tension that I carry all over her face. She looks exhausted and defeated.
“You okay?”
She shrugs and says, “Not really.”
“Talk to me.”
“Being here all day, with nothing to do but think, is a lot harder than I thought it would be.” I gently tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. She leans into my touch and closes her eyes. “I missed you.”
“You have no idea how much I missed you. All I could do was to wonder what you were doing or if you were okay. I hate not being able to talk to you whenever I want. Did anyone check on you today?”
“Yes. Chuck knocked on the door to let me know he was taking over for the night, and Farley called once.”
“He did? When?”
“About an hour ago.”
While I was driving home? The thought pisses me off a little, although it shouldn’t.
She removes her legs from my lap and crosses them beneath her to close the distance between us. “Ben, I read the folder. You know it all, don’t you?” she asks quietly.
I take her hand in between both of mine. “Yeah, babe. I know it all.”
Even in the dark, I can see the glassy evidence of tears swelling in her eyes. I assumed it was tension and stress I saw in her eyes, but it’s actually pain. It makes sense. She’s uncorked her past, and now that she knows the reality, fear is probably coursing through her veins.
“He murdered men, Ben. He did horrific things. How could my mother love someone like that? She is nothing like I thought she was.” The tears begin, a steady stream running down her face. As I wipe them away, more replace them. “My entire life was a lie.”
“Ella, the woman who raised you was real. She loved you. She gave you a wonderful life. None of that was fabricated. Your identities may have been fake, but your life was real.”
“By marrying him, she condoned his behavior.”
“You have no idea why she married him. She may not have had a choice.”
Her brow puckers in a frown. “You think he made her marry him?”
“We may never know. I do think, based on what I’ve heard you say about your mother, she had a good heart. I’d like to believe she either was forced or didn’t know who the real Angelo Volante was until it was too late.”
A tiny sigh escapes as she continues to wipe away her tears. I have no idea if my scenario is true. If giving her a false sense of truth helps her in any way, then I’ll take it. There is no way to truly know what occurred over twenty years ago. We may never know.
She pauses for a few seconds, staring past my shoulder out at the water. Without looking at me, she says, “As I read through that stuff, I wondered if I had any family left out there? From what I read, Farley was right. Mr. Razzo was very close to my parents.” She shifts her eyes to mine and adds, “Ben, I want to talk to him.”
“Absolutely not.”
Disbelief is quickly replaced with impatience. “Why not?”
“Ella, nothing good can come of you talking to that man.” I may be crossing a line. She may think that this isn’t my business, but it is. She’s my priority. “Putting you in contact with a man like Razzo is not going to accomplish anything. If anything, it will cause more questions, more confusion, more fear.”
“It would give me closure. It would help me move past the questions that are plaguing me.”
“You are forgetting he is also a murderer. He isn’t the warm fuzzy man you have conjured up in your head. The best thing you can do is to forget him and everything connected to him.”
She places her free hand over our entwined ones. “Ben, I may not have asked for this, but it’s out and I can’t hide from it now that I am aware of it.”
“We have no idea how much Politto knows. We can only assume that Razzo is being watched and that assumption will keep you away from him.”
She swings her legs over the side of the lounge and goes back into the apartment. “Ella,” I call out, following close behind.
“I don’t want to fight with you, Ben. I’m sorry I mentioned it.”
I watch from the doorway as she busies herself with the teapot. Her back is toward me, her shoulders are stiff, and her posture is rigid. I try to understand where she’s coming from with her request. I keep forgetting to consider all that she’s feeling, all that she’s hurting from. Feeling bad that I dismissed her so quickly, I stand behind her and wrap my arms around her waist.
“I’m sorry. I’m just trying to protect you.”
Her head rests against my chest as she says, “My Superman.” She turns in my arms, placing her hands on my face. “I understand why you feel that way. I know he’s no different than my father or Politto, or any other criminal out there. That doesn’t mean I can ignore the fact that he has answers for me that no one else will have. He’s my only link to my past. Most likely, I’ll hear him out and bury everything he tells me, along with my dead parents. I’m able to do that, lock things away to protect myself. I’ve been doing it for the past year. You don’t have to worry about me. But Ben, I need to know.”
I go to speak, but she places a finger over my lips. “If you are worried about my safety, Farley will protect me with every resource he has.”
“How do you know that?”
“He said he would.”
“You told Farley?”
“He called just as I was reading about my past. It just happened, Ben. It wasn’t intentional or premeditated. He caught me at a bad time, and I acted impulsively.”
I’m not sure what upsets me more. Her request to speak to Razzo, or the fact that she discussed it with Farley without speaking to me first.
Loosening my hold on her, I don’t get far when she reaches out and grabs the fabric of my shirt. “Ben.”
“What?”
“Don’t be mad at me. You’re making too much of it.”
“Am I, Ella? Which part am I making too much of? Your request, which is stupid and reckless? Or the fact you confided in Farley? Who, by the way, is only interested in getting Politto?” I pry her fingers from my shirt. “I need some air.”
I glance at her once before walking out into the hall. Her livid expression shouldn’t surprise me.
Chuck nods when I say, “I’ll be back.” He steps closer to the apartment door as I head toward the stairwell. Needing the adrenaline, I run down the stairs toward the ground floor. Half way down, I regret my overreaction.
What the hell is really bothering me?
Not until I’m out on the sand, walking away from our building, does it hit me. It’s everything that’s bothering me.
Every goddamn part of this whole situation is bothering me. I quickly glance up at our balcony. My throat tightens when I see her watching me. Even with the distance between us, even in the dark, the intensity in which our eyes connect can’t be mistaken.
I’m literally hanging on by a thread. That thread that’s keeping me tethered to this earth at the moment is stretched right to her. If that thread breaks, it will cause her to plummet with me.
With every moment that passes, I can feel the thread tighten.
It’s dangerously close to snapping.