I hate dilemmas. I like no-brainers. For instance, my first choice on a weeknight when I have to work the next day would be to make myself some ramen noodles, wear my favorite pajamas, and get cozy with Jamie Dornan while watching saved episodes of Once Upon A Time.
Instead, I have to put some effort into my face, clothes, and hair, and then schlep my ass out to a noisy – and no doubt annoying club - all because my boss asked me to. I could have easily let her down by telling her my idea of a fun evening is fantasizing about Jamie, but I can’t do that to her. She’s been so great to me. I’ve known Andrea since college. She was my roommate, and we both majored in PR at UMass. After graduation, she moved to New York while I stayed in the little town Mom, and I settled in. I found a job in Boston. It wasn’t a glamorous job. It wasn’t even in my field of public relations, although it paid the bills. More importantly, it kept me close to my mom.
Mom and I were partners in crime. She was very young when she had me, making us more like sisters than mother and daughter. Mom had no one in her corner but me. Her very religious parents did not accept their teenage daughter’s pregnancy. Their alternative wasn’t an option for my mother. She didn’t want to give me up for adoption. She wanted me. She ran away to have me. Since the day I was born, it’s been her and me. For twenty-five years, we had the best relationship a daughter could ask for. She was overprotective and sometimes a bit controlling, but she had to be. She was both my mother and father. We moved around a lot. Mom would get bored and want to find some newness in her life. I was all she had. My safety was her priority.
Just as she held me the day I was born, I held her the day she died.
Everything in my world changed that day. I no longer looked at my home, job, and life the same way. I was instantly jaded and wanted a change.
I left it all behind and moved to New York.
When I appeared at Andrea’s door, she didn’t even bat an eye. When I asked for a place to live, she made up her couch. When I needed a job, she dragged my ass into her office to meet with personnel. I can honestly say that she has made my life so much easier this past year. When I showed up, she was about to release the lease on her apartment and move in with her long-term boyfriend, Rob. Instead, she kept it and let me move in rent-free until I found my way.
Within three months, I was able to take over her rent and make an impression in the company where we worked. Things were going great for me. Even when Andrea received a promotion and became my supervisor, I couldn’t have been happier. She felt it would be awkward, and I saw it as the perfect scenario. I would never take advantage of our friendship, but having a friend as my mentor was a dream come true. I was learning from the best. Andrea was phenomenal at her job, and I was following right in the path of her footsteps.
So, when your best friend, lifesaver, and boss asks you to come out on a Wednesday night to check out a new club that the firm was interested in backing, my no-brainer of an evening had to take a backseat. It won’t kill me to socialize on a weeknight. Besides Andrea and an occasional happy hour outing with the gang at work, my social life as a whole has been somewhat stagnant.
These are the times that I miss Peter the most. During the workweek, he would love to snuggle on my couch with Chinese takeout and a good movie. I met him shortly after moving to New York. He was simply a nice guy. His clean cut, Ivy League looks were what first caught my attention. His manners and acts of chivalry were what captured my heart. I was very, very fond of Peter. Was I in love with him? No. I can’t say I was. Fondness was the best I could do. It wasn’t because he lacked in any way. While with him, I felt safe and secure. I felt comfortable. That wasn’t the right reason to be with him. I used him as my crutch. If he hadn’t left, would I finally admit that I was indeed using him? Peter is a keeper, marrying material, the one you don’t let get away.
When Peter received a once in a lifetime offer to run his firm’s London office, he jumped at the chance. Having always vented about my desire to travel, he assumed I’d move with him. If I loved him, I might have. I couldn’t move across the globe with a man I was merely fond of. We parted on good terms. If I was at all confused regarding my decision, it was solidified when my tears stopped a few days after he left. I miss him, but I don’t ache for him.
“Be ready by ten,” Andrea says over the phone.
Sigh.
Ten.
Late night, work tomorrow. I love Andrea. I love Andrea!
“Okay,” I respond, trying to sound enthusiastic, but failing miserably.
“Stop. You need a night out. It’ll be fun.” Andrea knows me well. “I have a surprise for you.”
“Oh no.”
“Why the instant doubt? Have I ever given you reason to doubt me?”
I give my left eye another swipe of mascara. “No.”
“That doesn’t sound like a convincing no. But your answer of no is correct. So trust me.”
“Please tell me why I need to trust you. I hate surprises.”
Andrea gives me a laugh that sounds more like a cackle. “Nice try. I’ll tell you in the cab. Be ready.” With that, she hangs up the call, and I so badly want to get back into my pajamas.
At five minutes to ten, I receive a text from her: Come Down.
Assuming I’m meeting a client or worse, I give myself one last once-over in the mirror to ensure I look presentable. I left my hair long and natural, forgoing my normal ponytail. I applied makeup and decided on jeans, jazzing them up with a sequined tank and heels.
Happy with my efforts, I drag my ass down to meet up with my best friend.
“Very nice,” Andrea says, giving me her thumbs up. “I was worried I’d get Ella Parker the schlub.”
“Bite me.”
When she opens the cab door, Rob leans over and smiles. “Hey, Ella.”
“Oh no.” The presence of Rob can only mean one thing. “No. No. No. No.”
“Yes.” She pushes on my ass and says, “Get in.” She gives the cabbie the name of the club and its street location.
“Andrea.” I say her name, adding at least three more syllables. “Why is Rob coming out for a work thing? Did you lie to me?”
She has the nerve to look offended. “Of course not. It is a work thing.” She turns toward the window and murmurs, “Slash other thing.”
“What was that?”
My friend faces me and smiles. “It’s Rob’s partner’s birthday. He needs cheering up.”
Fuck, another blind date.
“Really? When will you stop?”
“Never. This time I have a good feeling. I don’t know why it didn’t come to me sooner. Of course, you and Ben are a perfect match. Trust me.”
“Andrea, I’ll come, I’ll play nice, and I’ll take advantage of your boyfriend’s generosity by allowing him to buy me plenty of drinks to numb myself, but I am not going to pretend that I want to be there.”
Rob and Andrea lean forward and make eye contact, both nodding obnoxiously.
“What?”
“That’s exactly what Ben said. Trust me.”