“You look like Taylor Swift circa 2009. Next.”
Blowing a piece of curled hair from my face, I tugged the plaid blouse and denim shorts off and rummaged through the wardrobe for something else. “It’s just the movies. Why do I need to get so dressed up?”
I heard Pippa’s book shut before she appeared beside me. “The trick is to look like you didn’t go to much effort yet still look amazing.” She started tossing hangers aside in her side of the wardrobe.
Staring at her in nothing but my yellow cotton bra and matching panties, I wondered how the hell I was supposed to figure out that kind of jigsaw puzzle.
Laughing, she glanced at me over her shoulder. “What? You seriously had no girlfriends around in school to tell you this crap?” Blinking, I looked down at my mint green toenail polish, my toes curling over the coarse old carpet. “Sorry,” Pippa whispered.
“No,” I said. “It’s fine. I had friends at my new school, but I never dated. So whenever I heard about this stuff, well, I guess I kind of ignored it.”
“You didn’t date anyone after Quinn?”
Looking at her, I tried to smile. “No. No one. I didn’t want to.”
Her green eyes filled with sympathy. “Jesus, no wonder you’ve been such a mess.”
“Thanks? I think.”
She pinched my cheek, then grabbed my favorite navy blue dress with white daisies on it from a hanger on my side. “Just be you. Fuck the stupid dating rules.”
Taking it from her, I felt tears rush to my eyes and swallowed. “Okay.”
“But pair it with these,” she said, grabbing some flat heeled boots of mine and a faux leather jacket of hers.
Grinning, I rushed to finish getting ready.
As it crept closer to eight, the panic slowly set in. “Oh, shit.” My hands started flapping at my sides. I smoothed them over my dress, over and over. “What if he’s really a huge creep?”
“Stop,” Pippa said, rummaging through my bag. She passed me my caramel-flavored lip balm. “Put this on and go wait downstairs. I’ll wait with you if you want.”
Taking it from her, I swiped some on with a shaky hand, then checked my makeup in the mirror one last time. “Will that make me look like a loser? Too eager? Crap, I think I used too much mascara. My lashes are starting to clump.” I turned around, eyes wide on Pippa who was biting her lip to stop from laughing. “I don’t know if I’m ready for this.”
The laughter left her eyes, and she stepped closer. “Okay, time for some tough love.”
“Tough love?”
“Yep.”
“Okay, hit me.” I braced myself, and she giggled.
“You’re ridiculous. Seriously, though.” She grabbed my shoulders. “It’s time. Don’t hate me, don’t slap me, just listen to me.”
“Listening,” I said, nodding and drawing in a deep breath.
“If Quinn was coming back to you, don’t you think he would’ve done so by now?”
“I’m not so sure I like this kind of tough love,” I muttered, exhaling roughly.
She rubbed my upper arms over the faux leather of her jacket. “I know. But you need to think like this, or you’ll never move forward. He’s hurt you. Badly. He’s made it clear he’s not coming back to fix that. You’ve let it hurt, and now it’s time to stop hurting even if that means doing things that scare you.”
My heart twitched with stubborn outrage, then seemed to give in with the slumping of my shoulders. “You’re right.”
“Besides.” Her hands slid down my arms, grabbing mine to squeeze tightly before releasing. “Would you even want him back after what he’s done? After how he and Alexis have made you feel?”
Out of all the things I’ve thought about over the weeks since I’d seen them, that had never actually crossed my mind. I wanted to scream, “Yes!” but I couldn’t. Something stopped me and made me turn those words over slowly in my head. Maybe I wouldn’t.
“I don’t know. I don’t know if I could.”
“But it doesn’t lessen how you still feel about him, I know.” She grabbed my purse and passed it to me. “So time to see if you can feel that way about someone new.”
Nodding, I said, “Thank you.”
“No thank yous, just give me every detail when you get back. And you’d better let him at least kiss you!”
Those last words followed me out the door and almost had me tripping over my feet. Shit.
Kissing? I felt like I’d been catapulted back to childhood when things like kissing made you cringe. I was cringing, but I was also petrified. And as I stared at Callum’s full lips under the dash lights in his car, maybe a tiny bit excited.
“You look great,” he said, taking his eyes off the road to flick them over me. “Leather looks good on you.”
I was about to blurt out that it belonged to my friend, but thought that might ruin whatever street cred I’d just accrued. “Thanks.” Eyeing his jeans and bomber jacket, I tried to think about what to say in return. “You look … warm.”
Oh, Christ. Just send a bolt of lightning down from the sky to land on my head right now. Please and thank you.
Callum bellowed out a laugh, and I twisted in my seat to watch him swipe underneath his eyes, and the way his whole face crinkled. “Shit, you’re cute.” He pulled into an underground parking lot, flipping on his blinker when he saw a car pulling out. “You don’t date much, do you?”
Warmth instantly filled my cheeks, and I looked away as he parked. “No, not really.”
He turned the car off, then his fingers were gently turning my face to his. My heart started pounding so hard, I thought it might burst free of my chest and splatter all over the leather seats of his Lexus. “I kind of like that.”
“You do?” My voice sounded breathy.
With his teeth running over his bottom lip, he nodded. “Yeah, you’re different. I don’t know how the hell you managed to stay so …”
“Naïve?” I offered.
“Innocent,” he said with a smirk. “For so long. But I fucking love it.”
“Fetish of yours?” I asked, watching his dark eyes heat as his lashes fluttered. God, he really was sexy. In a way that spelled bad things.
He chuckled. “Not until now.”
We stared at each other for another few racing heartbeats, his thick fingers feeling heavy on my chin. When they started to drift toward my lips, my stomach jumped. “We should go. Might miss the movie otherwise.”
Blinking quickly, he dropped his hand and opened his door. I got out just as he was rounding the car to my side. “You’re supposed to wait. A gentleman will open your door.”
“I didn’t peg you for much of a gentleman.” Confidence bloomed inside me. Maybe it was the way he looked at me, or how he still wanted me, despite my awkward quirks, but I started feeling comfortable enough to spar with him.
“Ah.” He poked the end of my nose, then grabbed my hand as he locked the car and tucked his keys away. “First mistake, beautiful. Don’t assume shit when it comes to me.”
With his large hand holding mine, I used my free one to right my glasses, trying to distract myself from the feeling of excitement unfurling in me.
Callum grabbed tickets to some horror movie while I was in the bathroom, and I couldn’t help but ask, “Why? I don’t really like horror movies.”
Winking, he said, “Exactly what I was planning on. Trying the old junior high trick.” I actually rolled my eyes, which earned me another chuckle. “Come on, popcorn?”
We got some soda, popcorn, and candy before making our way into the half empty theatre and taking a seat in the back corner. I eyed him with a brow raised as he took a seat and patted the one next to his. “Another junior high trick? Back corner, second base?”
“You’re catching on, beautiful.”
Smiling, I sat down and got comfortable before chancing a glance at him. He looked huge, trying to get his large frame comfortably seated in the cheap movie chair. Despite not touching me, he even felt huge just sitting next to me. I’d almost forgotten I was on a date with a football player.
“What position do you play?” I asked, shoving a handful of popcorn into my mouth and trying to ignore the sting elicited by the subject.
The opening ads started, and he tucked his hand into the box to dig out some popcorn for himself. “Linebacker.”
“Oh, wow.” I tilted my head. “You love it?”
He nodded. “Fuck yeah, I do. I’m hoping the scouts rumored to visit Gray Springs show up this semester. We’re in for a great season. Did you come to the first game?”
I looked at the screen as the movie started. “Nope, didn’t know about it.” I did, just pretended otherwise.
“You like football?”
I didn’t. “Sure.” I grabbed my soda, chewing a bit too hard on the straw after taking a big sip.
“You should come to a game sometime then.”
The movie was well and truly beginning by that point, and he thankfully took my half nod for an answer and turned his curious gaze from me to the screen.
At an hour in, I was just returning from a pretend trip to the bathroom after watching some woman get tortured to death. “I’m so going to have nightmares,” I muttered, sitting down as the screaming began anew.
“What’s up?” Callum asked.
“Nothing.” I painted a smile on and tried to think about puppies, kittens, and cute little baby lambs as I stared at the side of the movie screen with Callum’s arm around my shoulder.
He seemed to be pretty invested in the movie, and I didn’t know whether to be grateful for that. Obvious reason being that I didn’t think I was ready to try any bases tonight, let alone in the back of a movie theatre. Though, I didn’t know if I should maybe be annoyed that he didn’t care about my tensing body under his arm every time someone was brutally murdered.
Ugh, this dating thing was for the birds.
He smelled really good, though. Like some expensive aftershave. Kind of shower fresh, yet a little syrupy too but not too overpowering. I finished the popcorn, clutching the box a little too high in my lap like it was a barrier between me and the gore on the screen, right until the credits started.
Callum seemed a little stunned. “Well, shit. That was fucking awesome.”
Totally awesome. “Uh-huh, ready to go?” I wanted to go home and watch an episode of Care Bears on YouTube or something.
“Sure. You don’t wanna grab a coffee or anything?”
“I’ve got an early class,” I lied, standing up and dusting the popcorn from my lap.
He stretched his massive arms over his head, twisting his torso side to side. My mouth fell open when I saw his shirt ride up. Abs on abs followed by a dark trail that led down into his pants.
“You’re cute when you get flustered.” He stood, grabbing my bag for me and wrapping his hand around mine.
“I’m not flustered,” I mumbled as we trudged slowly down the steps behind the other people.
“Yeah?” He poked me in the cheek. “These things give you away, every time.”
I scowled at him, and he chuckled. “I’m going to kiss you. Just throwing it out there so you have enough time to wrap your brain around it.”
I sucked in air way too loudly and prayed to God he didn’t hear it.
The drive back to campus was filled with questions, which helped to take my mind off what might come when we got there. Callum asked where I was from, what I was majoring in, and what I did for fun. And even though my answers weren’t all that interesting or forthcoming, he seemed to be genuinely interested.
“My dad wants me to major in poli sci.” He scoffed. “It’s the pits. Good for you for doing what you want. You wanna teach, open a studio? Or sell your art?”
“I’m not sure yet. I can’t seem to make up my mind.” My hands curled around my purse in my lap as the soft lights from campus grew closer at the end of the long road.
“Luckily, you have plenty of time then.” Turning, he drove slowly down the narrow streets, pulling up outside my dorm.
There were a few people standing around outside, two girls and a guy. They all glanced over when they saw Callum’s sleek gray Lexus pull in, then averted their eyes back to each other. I waited for him to open my door this time, my lips pinched tightly between my teeth. Perhaps if I kept them there, he wouldn’t be tempted to kiss them.
Offering his hand once the door was open, he smiled and tugged me out of the car with enough gentle force to send me falling against his hard chest.
“Uh.” I didn’t know what to say or where to put my hands. The door was shut behind me, then he was backing me up a few steps until my back lay flush with the cool exterior of the car.
My hands were placed around his neck, and he leaned in until his forehead was almost resting on mine. I was tall, at least five-foot-eight, but he had to duck his head a fair bit, and that alone sent a reminder of what it had been like with Quinn. How he used to have to do the same, and it’d make me feel like I was just the right size, instead of all gangly limbs.
I can’t do this.
“You smell like caramel,” he whispered.
“It’s my lotion and my, um, lip balm.”
The smirk that edged his lips sent tiny flickers of excitement zinging through my body. Maybe I could do this.
“Will you see me again?”
“I’m sure I probably will.” I felt kind of hypnotized by his dark eyes.
His chest rumbled against me with his laugh. “Fuck, let me taste you already.”
Not waiting for my answer, he grabbed my cheeks with his large hands and tilted my head back at the same time his warm, soft lips pressed against mine. It felt nice … different, but nice.
He tasted like Coke, and a little salt from the popcorn remained on his lips. It made it easy for my own to part as he willed them to, his tongue slowly dipping into my mouth and finding mine. They touched, and I shivered. He groaned, and I started to recoil at the unfamiliar sound of it.
I pulled back, almost whacking my head against his car, and breathed in a heavy lungful of cool air. His eyes slowly opened, and when I looked into them, my stomach lurched. To my embarrassment, tears sprung to my eyes like prickling needles that insisted I needed further punishing.
His brow creased. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m sorry. I’m …”
“Shit.” He stepped back a little, giving me some much-needed space. “Did I hurt you?”
His eyes searched mine, and I felt like the biggest idiot. “No, you didn’t hurt me at all. It’s just …”
“Tell me,” he pleaded when I hesitated.
“I can’t really do that. You’ll think it’s stupid.”
Staring at me for a beat longer, he cursed under his breath and wiped a hand down his face. “You’re messed up over someone?”
Well, holy steaming crap. Was it that obvious? Or was he that perceptive? And what should I do? I guess honesty was the least I could give him. He was nice, sweet enough, and he was actually interested in me. “Yeah, a little.”
“A little,” he repeated slowly.
Nodding, I glanced up at the sky. The stars were hiding tonight, but I knew they were still there. Feeling defeated, I dragged my gaze back to Callum. “I understand if that’s kind of weird for you. But it … it’s taking some time to get over.”
His lip disappeared into his mouth as he seemed to think something over for a minute. “How about this? Put my number in your phone, and when you feel like you might be ready, you’ll know how to reach me.”
Tucking some hair behind my ear, the tears long forgotten, I smiled a real smile at him. Then I reached into the car for my purse and handed him my phone.