After putting in my order for a chicken salad, I took a seat in an empty booth near the back of the diner. I would’ve felt a little awkward, sitting on my own, but one glance around had me noticing I wasn’t alone. People sat in groups, in pairs, or by themselves.
Pulling my clunker of a book out of my bag, I flipped it open to continue my English lit reading while waiting for my food.
“Here you go,” the waitress said, placing my salad and water down on the table.
Pushing my book aside, I thanked her and tugged my plate closer, unwrapping my cutlery from inside the napkin.
Feeling eyes on me, I looked up just as Quinn slid into a booth at the opposite end with a bottle of water. I tore my eyes away from his, ignoring the way my heart raced, and started eating. I hadn’t seen him since our random chat last week, the one where he tortured me some more, then rubbed salt in all my wounds by asking to be friends.
My feet scuffed over the floor, my hand twirling the fork over and over. I couldn’t concentrate. Could hardly eat, knowing he was seated just tables away from me.
A few minutes later, I closed my book just as Quinn sat down across from me. “Hi.”
Glancing around the half full diner quickly, I mustered up some courage and brought my gaze to his. “Uh, hi.”
“Saw you sitting by yourself, and well, I was by myself, so I just thought …” he trailed off, and we both laughed nervously.
This eye locking business was getting hard to fight. So I gave in and let my eyes do what they wanted, which was to study his brows, the way they rose up and down a little as he looked at me, and the way his hands twisted around a menu.
“You ordered yet?” I asked.
He shook his head, then nodded. “Yeah, no. I mean, I have.”
Laughter again. Okay. This was awkward.
And to make matters worse, I went and asked something I’d been too curious about. “So I forgot to ask. Did you get in trouble? Um, after the other weekend?”
Looking confused, he parted his lips slightly and then licked his upper lip. I think my thighs clenched under the table. I started eating my food, for something to do, if nothing else. “Not really, no. After I explained it, she was okay, I guess.”
“You guess?” I blurted around a mouthful of chicken, instantly wanting to stick ice on my flaming cheeks.
He just grinned, which didn’t help. I swallowed my food without chewing enough, then reached for my water, gulping it down to keep it from getting stuck in my throat.
“Naturally, she wouldn’t be happy about it.”
Couldn’t argue with that, so I didn’t push any further. His food arrived. A huge burger, fries, and a salad. He dug right in, and we ate in silence until he’d almost demolished everything on his plate.
He’d always eaten a lot. Apparently, football had a lot to do with that. I remembered his mom used to gripe, albeit lovingly, that she was glad they only had the one child. As he ate enough to empty their bank accounts some weeks.
I finished as much of my salad as I could, which was a lot, considering my stomach wouldn’t stop bouncing around, making me think I would end up with a serious case of the hiccups, or indigestion if it didn’t cut it out soon.
“You’ve always hated tomatoes,” he said.
“Huh?” I glanced up from where I’d been scooting one around my plate, catching the warmth in his eyes. “Oh. I don’t know, something about them—”
“Just isn’t right,” he cut in, and I almost choked on the crouton I’d just put in my mouth.
My mom used to say we were possibly twins in another life with the way we used to finish each other’s sentences, and the way we gravitated toward each other from the moment we met. I used to think that was cool until I started recognizing my feelings for him, and how they’d started to change. Then I’d scrunch my nose, tell her she was gross, and storm out of the room like the petulant young teenager I didn’t get to be very often.
His eyes on mine felt like a trip down memory lane. One filled with dandelions, stars, hay, and a tire swing underneath a willow tree. My mouth went dry, and he seemed to blink out of whatever thought he was thinking.
“How’s your mom and dad?” I asked to maybe break the tension a little. I couldn’t tell if it was all in my head and just one sided, or if he was still feeling the same pull that had always been there.
His knitted brows and the way his teeth were stuck in his bottom lip as he stared at me had me thinking that maybe it was still there for him too. “They’re good,” he finally said, then shoved a handful of fries into his mouth and chewed.
“I bet your mom is missing you.” I smiled, remembering the way she’d fuss over him.
His answering smile was full of affection. “Nah. At first, yeah. She’d call me like three times a day. This year, it’s lessened some.”
“Once a week?”
He barked out a laugh, picking up his water and taking a sip. “Yeah, something like that.”
I wondered what they thought of Alexis. Of the fact they were together now. Then pushed it away when I realized that was stupid. Of course, they loved her. They’d loved us all.
“What was your new school like?” he asked, his softer tone of voice and the way he was now avoiding my eyes knocking me from my thoughts.
“Well, it was—”
“Hey, babe, Tina said you were here.” Alexis seemed to appear out of nowhere. Or maybe that was my fault for seeing nothing but the boy in front of me. Not a boy anymore, I reminded myself, watching his huge shoulders tense as Alexis wrapped an arm around them. She didn’t even notice me until she sat down. “Oh, she didn’t say you weren’t alone, though.” She grabbed one of his fries, biting it clean in half as she stared me up and down.
I couldn’t tell if she was just looking or scrutinizing and inwardly cursed myself out for wearing my old, baggy gray Black Sabbath sweatshirt. Which was more like a short jumper dress that I’d paired with black leggings.
Quinn cleared his throat, and the skin on the back of my neck prickled as he leaned in to kiss her cheek, resulting in her turning her head for him to kiss her mouth instead. Her lips pried his open, her tongue forcing its way inside. His startled eyes moved to mine briefly before he grabbed her slim shoulders.
He laughed, pulling away, and I glanced down at my stomach, hoping my food stayed down. “I’ve just eaten a shit ton of onions,” he said.
Looking back up, I watched her shrug and take another fry. “I should go,” I muttered, grabbing my bag and reaching for my textbook.
“No,” Alexis said. “Don’t be stupid. You haven’t even finished your food.”
“I’m not that hungry.”
Quinn frowned down at my plate. “You’ve barely eaten half.”
With a lift of my shoulders, I smiled, hoping it didn’t look too forced. His eyes narrowed, and he turned to Alexis. “She was eating alone, and so was I. Thought we’d catch up.”
I wanted to kiss him for not throwing me under the bus in any sort of way. Scrap that, I wanted to do way more than kiss him. But remembering who’d actually just did that, and looking at the beautiful woman who got to do that whenever she wanted, I took the thought, scrunched it up, and threw it away.
“Fair enough.” Alexis nodded. Leaning forward and clasping her hands together, she rested her chin on them and smiled thinly at me. “How do you like college? It’s a bit different than we thought it’d be, huh?”
She’d gotten that fucking right. I coughed, grabbing my water and taking a big sip before replying. “It sure is.”
“What’s your favorite class?” She paused, pointing a finger at me, my eyes almost crossed as I took in her glossy pink nail polish. I was tempted to ask her what brand it was, but then remembered she’d stolen my heart away from me and thought better of it. “No, let me guess. Art.”
Tilting my shoulders again, I let out a stilted laugh. “You got me.”
She grinned, and envy, thick and slimy, slid into my bloodstream. She’d always been so pretty growing up. Now, there probably wasn’t another woman, young or old, who compared.
Leaning back in the seat, she looked around. “God, the food in this place smells so good.”
“Why don’t you grab something?” Quinn suggested, finishing his own.
Alexis sent him a glare. “You know why.”
He looked like he wanted to roll his eyes. “There are healthy options.”
“Are you kidding?” She pointed at my plate with an accusing finger. “The salad is soaked in dressing.”
“So order it without,” Quinn said with a shrug.
Yeah, I really needed to go. “I have to get home; this bad boy isn’t going to read itself.” After tossing a ten-dollar bill on the table, I picked up my book again and stood with my bag.
Alexis looked at me, a glimmer of something in her eye. I couldn’t read her. I thought I used to be able to, but I’d been wrong about a lot of things. “Okay, see you round, I guess.”
“Yeah, see you round,” I mumbled. With one last glance at Quinn, I found remorseful eyes pinned on me.
I didn’t want his remorse. And I most certainly didn’t want to spend another second in their company, so I turned for the door, shouldering past someone and muttering an apology.
Outside, the autumn wind whipped at my face, thankfully ridding my eyes of the tears that’d gathered.
God, that sucked so much.
There was no point in wondering if seeing them together would get easier.
If anything, I knew it would only get worse.