I need space.
I’ve been caught off guard.
The walk back to the bedroom, from the kitchen where I sat quiet listening to Dimitri talking to me about tonight’s events and how everyone who’s anyone is going to be at our engagement party, turned my stomach. Eating the bacon and eggs given to me by the housekeeper kept my mouth busy so I didn’t say anything I would regret. Nodding and a single word here and there kept Dimitri onside.
Being segregated from the world is becoming the norm at the moment. Each day, by myself or with Dimitri is slowly altering my mind. Piece by piece, night after night, Dimitri uses his seductive hands and body to send mine to the brink of no return. My resolve is thinning. I know I will never willingly give him my body, but without the daily release at the touch of my hands in the shower or the bath, I would be close to begging Dimitri. Just like he wants…
Closing the bedroom door behind me, the sun shines across the enormous bed, reflecting off the white surface of the quilt. Resting my back against the cool wood of the door, I close my eyes. Muscles spasm in my legs and arms. My mind is churning around like I’m being dumped by a wave and I can’t find the way out to the surface.
The image I caught sight of on the computer screen moments ago as I walked back from my daily torture session with Dimitri is imprinted on my eyes, like a photo film.
Alex. With a woman. Her hands draped over his chest and waist.
How could he do this to me?
Why is he out having fun with another woman while I’m held prisoner here?
Opening my eyes, I walk to the bed, collapsing on the mattress, back first. My arms spread out wide over the covers, my legs are bent over the side of the bed. Looking up at the white ceiling, I don’t understand what I have seen.
I swore to myself I would find a way out of this mess with Sokolov, but will it be too late? Has he given up on us already?
Placing my hands on either side of my head, I let me lids close over. My chest thumps.
Who is this woman?
Why is she with my man?
He asked me to trust him. To not give up on us.
He told me five days ago-He. Loves. Me.
I won’t forget that. Ever.
But has he?
Trying to slow my pumping heart, I inhale a deep breath, holding it before exhaling. I repeat this, helping to move my mind from the picture, clearing my erratic thoughts.
It’s time I get a plan in action…
Waiting around for the right time may never come. I have to make it happen. But how? There’s always security around him. Except when he’s in this house, he is unprotected from people within. Scenarios filter through my head.
Dark, revenge-filled ideas…
This isn’t me… But my focal point from now on must be about ridding myself from Dimitri. I hope Alex waits for me, but it will do no good if Dimitri still exists in my life.
This must be my goal… Dimitri Sokolov dead…
It’s the only way I will ever truly be free from his long-reaching hold.
Pulling myself together after my mini breakdown, I actually think about what I saw. Why the hell is there a picture of Alex on the computer screen in the living room? It’s not normally even switched on. I had asked Dimitri a few days back if I could access a computer so I could look at wedding related items. A plausible lie… He had agreed, but, of course there’s always a but…he informed me the computer was linked in with his security and everything I looked at would be recorded or monitored. Basically, he would know everything I had looked at. I took it as a small win. At least I could access the outside world even if I couldn’t live in it fully.
Did Dimitri leave that picture on the screen to play with my mind?
A loud bang from the door hitting the wall jolts my body forward.
“Come here, Isla.” Standing in the doorway, hands by his side, Dimitri is a human tsunami. Get in his way and his force will wipe you out.
Startled out of my reverie, eyes cast downward, I walk over to my fiancé with haste. A finger lifts my chin up so I am looking directly into his dark brown pits.
“My dear, this is a big day for us both. A happy day.” His eyes appear to soften slightly. “Where we announce our engagement. The start of a new chapter for us both.” Light swipes of his fingertips brush the hair back behind my ears. “The stylist will be here in an hour, and other specialists will be here to fix your hair, your makeup-whatever you need done. Just tell them.”
Fidgeting from foot to foot, this is too much. “I really don’t need all of that, Dimitri.” My voice quiets a little when I notice the frown appearing on his forehead. “There’s so many dresses in the wardrobe, I’m sure I can pick one out. I can do my hair and makeup fine.”
Taking a hold of my hands, he looks at the engagement ring he gave me days before. “Nonsense, my fiancée will have the best.”
Pushing my luck, I ask “Can I go in to the city and have it done? We don’t need everyone coming here.” Gripping my hands tighter, my legs freeze on the spot.
“I have many enemies, Isla. You know I’m not a good man. People who wouldn’t think twice about taking what is mine. Or hurting you to gain revenge on me. That’s why you are only allowed certain places without me.” My hands swing to my sides when he lets them go, leaving me to watch him walking toward the window.
“After tonight, until we are married will be the most deadliest. I am announcing publicly you are mine. A prize belonging to me. Something that would cause me pain if you were taken from me. My enemies could choose any time after tonight to take their revenge. You are the perfect target.”
What the hell is he talking about? More dangerous than him? Tremors take ahold of my lower body. My stomach clenches inward. My breathing shallows. Pounding reverberates through my head. No, not now… Not in front of Dimitri. I can’t collapse from a panic attack… I need to stay strong for myself in this current circumstance. If not only to put on a front for Dimitri but for all the other threats associated with him.
I have to be strong.
For me.
To get myself out of this mess.
Hunching over, I take in slow deep breaths. Dimitri is oblivious, staring out of the window. One…in…out… Two…in…out… Three…in…out…
“Fuck, Isla. What’s wrong?” Thuds on the floor get closer to me. Lifting me from under my knees and under my arms, he delicately places me on the bed.
“What the fuck’s happening right now?” Unable to respond, he actually holds my hand. There’s concern in his eyes. Crap… I don’t know where this softer side is coming from. I don’t know how to behave around him when he’s like this.
The beating in my chest is slowing. My hand is clammy in his. The rough pads of his left fingertips run through my hair.
“I just…need…another minute.” I look down. Not like the strong person I’m trying to be. The constant touch of his hand in my hair should make me shudder. But it is calming me. “Sorry…D…Dimitri. Sometimes, panic attacks take hold. Breathing in…s…slowly, tends to calm me before it disables me.”
“Fuck…” Withdrawing his hands urgently from mine, like I’ve stung him, he stands abruptly. “Enjoy your time getting ready for tonight, my dear. I will be back at 5pm to collect you.” The no-nonsense rigid voice is back in place. I know where I stand with this side of Dimitri.
“Okay.” My breathing is almost back to a normal pace. “Oh… Where is it being held tonight? So I can tell my mother and Jules.” Crossing my arms, protecting myself in case I’ve asked the wrong question, I wait. He’s ready to march out the doorway when he halts.
“Your mother, Jules, and your friend Kameron will be there to wish us well.” His rigid body turns toward me. Face as solid as steel. “Our engagement party is to be held in the large function room at The Raven Resort and Casino.”
Crap… What? Have I actually passed out from my panic attack? There’s no way I heard him correctly. It can’t be at Alex’s resort.
I have no voice to respond. What would I say? Inside my head is filled with murky sediment, moving from side to side in a slow manner. He doesn’t wait for a reply.
“Be ready, Isla, for the night of your life,” leaving me stunned.
The Raven…
Alex’s Resort and Casino…
Oh, this is going to be an interesting night… And why did Alex have another woman’s hands on him?
“You’re all zipped up.” The annoying perky voice is actually going to leave, I hope. “And all ready for a sensational evening, Miss Winters.” Cold fingers leave my back. Finally… Unsure if it’s me and my nerves starting to set in or if she has extremely cold hands. But I’m glad she’s finished.
A rack full of evening gowns being wheeled into the room was how it all started after Dimitri left me. Dresses upon dresses. Long flowing ones, dresses that would have my cleavage hanging out everywhere, expensive labels of every different color you can think of that Dimitri had actually chosen for tonight had to be tried on and then refined by Teena. Opting for a black, slim-fitting halter neck dress with an open back is the most reserved dress in the pile took me two hours. Tonight’s not a celebration. I’m in mourning. I’m losing my life, my sanity but not my hope.
“Thank you, Teena, for everything today.” Being in the confined space with this woman for the past four hours has done my sanity in. If I had to hear one more story about her good-for-nothing boyfriend, who is draining her bank account, who doesn’t have any idea what foreplay is or how to make her explode with his tongue one more time, I think I would have pushed her out the door and put up with the consequences. The nail technician actually got off her seat at one point, when, after numerous times she told us she spelled her name with ‘two ee’s’ not an ‘i’ like all the other other Tina’s she knows, but the hair stylist grabbed her arm holding her back. I was silently cheering inside for her to go through with it. The squeaky, high-pitched voice grated on my nerves from the moment she walked in the bedroom door. If she wasn’t some relative of one of the guards of Dimitri’s, my foot would have given her a one-way ticket out.
Five hours later. And a stylist, a nail technician, a hairdresser, a makeup guy, and some other lady who has sat in the corner coordinating all these people have been involved in getting me ready for this damn party. That I have no wish to attend. Knowing there are enemies out there only too willing to blast my head off to get back at Dimitri doesn’t really entice me to want to move from this spot.
Tonight, I’m an actress. Playing the Academy Award winning role of loving fiancée. I must convince everyone… Me wanting this man forever…
I pray Alex stays far away tonight. The intensity between us is palatable when we look at each other. Our bodies reacting without any physical connection. The game will be given away instantly. My performance will fail.
I can’t worry about that now…
Being 4:30pm now, I am anxious to get the night from hell started and over with.
“Have a wonderful night with that handsome man of yours,” Teena spritely says, swinging her bag over her arm, winking at me. She opens the door and leaves me standing in the middle of the room by myself. The other assistants had left shortly after they had perfected my hair, spraying the smooth waves cascading down past my shoulders with so much hairspray there is no chance in hell they will move, the plum nail polish was dry, and my makeup was flawlessly finished with shades highlighting my eye color.
Alone… Quietness surrounds me. The day has been a blur and tonight’s going to be worse. Stepping into my black Jimmy Choo Vamp 115mm sandals, I bend over to fasten the gold clasp around my ankles. Straightening up, I stare at my reflection in the full-length mirror hanging by the en-suite door. My chest rises and falls. The person in front of me looks stunning. A model, ready for the catwalk. Not Isla Winters who has been tormented, owned, and used by the very man who is now going to marry me. I certainly don’t look like the nearly eighteen-year-old girl who was taken to Dimitri’s business years ago by her father, giving my body to him for a payment he couldn’t make in cash to a crime figure.
I catch glittery flecks of sparkle from my left hand. Lifting my chin, I push my shoulders back and straighten my spine. I have protected my family for six long years. I have lived through experiences no young person should even know exists. My inner strength will get me through this new chapter. Life may be tough… But so am I.
“Fuck you’re beautiful.”
Whipping my head toward the bedroom door, Dimitri strides in toward me. His formidable voice filling the room. Lifting my left hand, he kisses it.
“I knew my decision to keep you would be the correct one. You are stunning, my dear.” Dark brown eyes stab my violet ones. There’s no nonsense in his voice, no smile, no doubt in his words. I am his…
Remembering why I am dressed to impress, I find my voice, not moving my look from his. Sticking on my false smile, the one that needs to stay there for the entire evening, I stay rigid. “Thank you. I feel beautiful.” My right hand briefly touches my chest, where I have the Tiffany key necklace that Alex gave me under the halter neck material. I haven’t taken it off since he gave it to me in Las Vegas.
“Come.” Tightening his grasp around my hand, he starts moving his powerful bulky frame, clad in a black tuxedo back to the doorway.
“It’s time to show the world who is taking the place of being Mrs. Dimitri Sokolov.”