Pounding chest… Mine gives this saying a whole new level of meaning.
Erratic, bursting, rapidly beating. That’s how my heart is at the moment. My mouth’s dry. But I’m still pissed that I’ve been taken again… Or perhaps I’m angry at myself for not having the guts to leave Dimitri years ago. Wasting my life away, doing what I’m told, to keep my family safe.
Standing in front of the door, this isn’t the place or time to be regretting decisions. I made the choice then, it’s time to suck it up and get on with it. I’ve had enough of being told how my life is going to look.
Hands tight, my mind determined, I stride down the cream-colored corridor. It looks so regal. I wonder if they have any antiques in here?
Fuck… There’s no time for being a pansy ass looking at the decorations, Isla, get it together… Stopping, I shake my head, hopefully clearing everything but the choice words I have for my fiancé…
Four more steps and I’m at the end, faced with an oversized spacious room. The lighting is dimmed. My eyes feast on the dazzling colors reflecting off the water and the darkened harbor. Crap… Head in the game, Isla…
Amongst the other plush furniture, a single chair is positioned near the window facing the outside world. The shadows cast across it, but I can distinctly see the back of a head.
“I want out.” My voice is loud, clear, and indignant. “I’ve had enough of your games, Dimitri. I don’t love you. How the hell could I after what you have made me do over the past years.” His head hasn’t moved and neither have I. Taking another large breath, I keep going, “It disgusts me. You had your chance to do what’s right. I’ve paid my family’s debt to you over and over again.” Licking my lips. They need more moisture. “It ends now. Kill me if that will make you sleep at night.” The last words come out shaky and unconvincing. I really don’t want to die, but if it means I’m out of this nightmare and he can no longer use me as a pawn in his revolting game of blackmail, then the others will be free to get on with their lives.
The chair swivels around slowly.
I stand tall. Head held high, back straight. No more cowering to this immoral man. I’m waiting for the bullet to hit me. I show no weakness.
“Spitfire… You remind me so much of me.” A tough, but refined woman’s voice speaks. “Move over near me, my child. Let me see you up close.”
I’m not prepared. I wanted it to be over. Dimitri setting us all free. Who the hell is this woman? Why has she kidnapped me and had me brought here? And why the hell did she just say that?
I’m caught off guard.
Legs wobbling slightly, I shift over closer to her.
The lights reveal her face.
My violet eyes are reflected back at me, but in a face seventy years older.
Could it be…? My nerves start firing prickles across my skin. It’s as though I have witnessed what I will look like in the future. Blood drains from my face and limbs. I’m shaking.
Stuttering like a fool, I try and get words to come out. “Wh..oo…w…hoo…a-a-re yy…o…u?” I stand close to this woman, looking at the deep-set wrinkles on her face. Her dark grey hair is tied back in a knot and the jewelry she adorns around her slim neck is intricate and antique looking. She’s dressed entirely in a black sheath dress, with a pop of red thanks to her belt wrapped around her middle. The bangles twisted around her wrist look heavy, yet she stretches out her hand without a problem.
“It’s nice to finally meet you, Isla.” My trembling hand touches her paper-thin skin. The power in her shake overwhelms me. “I’m Victoria Somerset.” A genuine smile appears. Standing from her chair, she reaches her arms out toward me. “I am your grandmother, Isla. Adeline’s mother.” Stepping into her arms hesitantly, the stiffness in my stance and entire body dissolves. I am in a place with someone who cares for me. Family…
It’s then that the flood gates open. I can’t hold it back. The dam bursts from relief, from meeting my grandmother for the very first time, a relative who wanted to meet me. I’m hiccup sobbing. Unlady-like and noisy as hell, but she just stands there holding me, patting my head. Enveloping my body with her warm embrace.
Composing myself after a few minutes, strength flows back into my body. Releasing my arms that had woven their way around her tall stature, I wiggle back, daring to look at my grandmother up close.
“I didn’t know you were alive.” Shame fills me. Why hadn’t mother and father talked about her? Why didn’t I ask? How did I not know she was still alive?
Removing her arms from me, she takes my hand, leading me to a table set up in the adjacent room. There’s so much swimming through my brain, I don’t know where to start.
“It was how it had to be.” Love is evident in her voice.
“Why?” My hands twist together on my lap, my eyes piercing hers waiting for an answer. “I don’t understand.”
Crossing her long legs, she fiddles with the rings on her fingers. Her eyes never leave mine. Gently she starts speaking in her broad English accent. “Isla… That is why I came. It was time for you to know about your family.”
Impatient, my legs start bouncing. I want to know everything now.
Why was it time?
What kept her away?
Why did my mother never speak of her?
What is she really here for?
“I know you’re wanting answers. But let’s get a cup of tea and I will explain everything to you.” Reaching for what looks like a small bell strategically placed within her reach, she lifts it and shakes it, filling the room with a high-pitched tinkle.
Gazing at the bell, wondering what she is actually doing, an elderly man dressed in a formal suit enters the room from somewhere. “We are ready for tea, William.” Nodding to me, “Do you like Earl grey?”
Is this man a butler? The scene playing out in front of me is like a scene from Downton Abbey. Not that I have watched a full episode, but I have seen enough of it to realize I’m looking at a butler taking care of my elderly grandmother. “It’s my favorite. Thank you.”
Deeply he says, “Yes, ma’am,” then disappears.
It’s surreal to be sitting in the most expensive hotel in Sydney across from my grandmother. And that I am to inherit a sizeable amount of money from this woman today, on my twenty-fifth birthday. My mind boggles and is in overload. I don’t know what to say or how to start talking to her.
With my fingers twiddling with each other again, I try and start, “Umm, so, umm… I’m not quite…umm.” I get nowhere with my language. It’s as though I haven’t ever used the English language before.
“It’s all going to be alright.” I am in awe of her confidence. “Let me first start by saying a huge happy birthday. Congratulations on turning twenty-five, my firstborn grandchild.” The butler comes back with a tray, two tea cups, and a teapot. Placing the china on the table, I watch at his swift ability to get the tea poured and leave without an issue.
“Thank you.” A quick nod tells me he acknowledges my gratitude.
“So, Isla. I am unsure how much you know about your mother’s upbringing so I’m going to start from the beginning.” Holding her tea cup in her elderly fingers, her pinky finger actually lifts up. Placing it back down on her saucer-I never use a saucer, but I guess I am tonight-she continues. “I am from a small country side town in England and your mother was born and raised there. Our family has been there for many, many years delving into the railroads. This was where our family’s fortune came from.” Her face reflects memories from times she has lived. I try not to move so I don’t distract her story. I need to understand. “I married at a young age and, being the only child, I inherited their fortune when my parents passed away. My soul mate, whom I married,” she leans toward me and whispers, “was part of an underworld family syndicate. They made money from everything illegal that they could and with me helping finance his business, his strength grew and grew.” Swallowing a mouthful of tea down, I wipe my lip of a drop that escaped. My head’s still trying to keep up with the story, so I just nod and smile. What else can I do? “We had one daughter, Isla, your mother. The brutality and harm her father’s work brought around our family, we decided one child was enough. It scared the ever-loving shit out of me.” I cough and laugh at the same time making me choke. This ninety-year-old prim and proper woman just swore.
Composing myself, “I’m so sorry. Something got caught in my throat.”
“It’s okay. Isla, I have been a witness to scenes I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. I have had to endure the pain of thinking ‘will my husband come home alive tonight or will this be the night it ends’. The worst feeling, however, is stepping outside your house with your child, knowing there are so many people in the area that hate you enough to kill you. And when that happened, I told your grandfather that was it. We needed to find a way to leave this life or run it legally.” She lifts her hand and twists the rings on her fingers. “These were tough times, Isla. But I needed our family to be safe.”
“Oh,” is all I can muster myself to say.
Continuing on, “That’s when we made the choice to use my money to invest in businesses and property and kept our loyal workers within these ventures. But, I knew there was still an element of danger going on behind these fronts. George couldn’t let some of it go, it was ingrained in him. He kept it away from the family, of which I could live with.”
“Is George my grandfather’s name? Where is he now?”
“Yes, that was him. He passed away ten years ago from old age. I’ve been blessed to have lived as long as I have. Meeting you and Ben was the last thing I had on my list before my bucket list was complete.”
Listening to this woman makes my heart warm and I feel loved. Even though I have only been in her presence for less than twenty minutes, there is a connection between us.
“But, why has it taken you so long to visit us, Grandmother? Whoops… Is it okay if I call you that? Or Victoria… My, I am embarrassing myself.” Blushing, this great woman must think I’m a bumbling idiot.
“I would be honored if you called me Gran or Grandmother.”
“Gran it is then.” Reaching out my hand, I rest it on her knee. Her other hand quickly covers it.
“Let me continue, because there is still more you need to know.” Clearing her throat, she keeps going. “Years passed by, business was good and, at twenty, Adeline took a holiday to Australia. She met your father there and she fell deeply in love with him. Mixed emotions consumed us, but she was so smitten with your father we gave her our blessings. We came out for the wedding and then to meet you and Ben when you arrived into this world.” Pausing, she takes a sip of her tea and makes a funny face. “Gosh, it’s gone cold.” Holding the handle of the pot, she pours herself some more. Taking another taste, she smiles.
“We kept in contact over your younger years, but that’s where it ended. Your mother contacted us, when your father became mixed in with the wrong crowd, asking for money to help get Drake out of a gambling debt. This wasn’t the last time she contacted us. Unfortunately, it got to the stage where we refused to spend any more money on his habits and told Adeline she needed to get him help and that we would help her with this, anyway we could.” Sighing, I can tell Gran still finds it hard to talk about.
“God bless her, she tried… But it was a useless cause. He wouldn’t commit, and he was that heavily entwined with his debts it was near impossible for Adeline to do anything. Her father and myself said we could fix the problem, we had connections in England that we could use and put an end to it all, but she wouldn’t have it and she refused to leave him. I believe she was scared that we would harm Drake. And by gosh, how I would have if she didn’t make it clear we were to stay out of her life. Let her live it as she wanted.” Fierceness and strength enters her voice. “Her last message to us came in the form of a letter, requesting us to leave her and Drake alone. And she didn’t want to see us again. That she loved us but loved him deeply and would never give up on him. She expressed that she knew Drake would eventually run her dry of money and had the potential to hurt her emotionally, but she would never leave him. She requested one last thing of us. To leave her share of her estate to you and Ben when you were old enough. That she didn’t need anything more from us, that she had taken enough from us already, but asked if we could give you and Ben her share of everything in our estate, she would be eternally grateful.” Sadness sweeps over my Gran’s face. The sorrow I see is for my mother. The one who abandoned her parents for the love of a man who truly didn’t appreciate what he had in her or us.
“My mother did that? She lived a life of sorrow and hurt, with the barest of necessities, because she loved my father so much? It crushes me to think of how my father was when I was little to how he was at the end.” Combing my hand through my hair, I ponder the words said aloud.
“We tried many times to contact her and, of course, we were hurt and perhaps foolish that we didn’t forcibly come and see her, but she cut ties with us.” Gran takes a steadying breath, I can see she is getting weary and with it being so late, she must be tired. It couldn’t be an easy thing, talking about your only daughter who wouldn’t communicate with you and lived so many miles away in another country.
“We kept our distance, we had eyes on her intermittently, but she never contacted us again…until a week ago.” Her hand tightens around my hand.
“Out of nowhere, I received a phone call. I nearly fell over, I must admit, when it was announced to me it was Adeline. I didn’t think I’d ever see the day she would come to her senses. Having waited over thirty years to hear her voice, she still sounded like my little girl had all those years ago. I listened. I hoped for good news. What I got was an apology.” My gran’s eyes close as she takes another breath of air. “Then a plea for my help. Not for herself, but for you, Isla. It’s always been about you and Ben. She gave everything up so she could stay with her true love. And at the same time make sure your life wasn’t wasted.”
My hand pulls back from her thin fingers. I sit straighter in the leather clad chair. Words float around in my brain.
Love… I guess I have been loved for my twenty-five years but at what cost?
Wasted… Exactly what has been happening to my life for the past six or more years.
Plea… How many times did I plead in my head and aloud for the nightmare to end?
Gave up everything… She gave up everything? I goddamn have been forced to give up everything good in my life to protect our family…
I’m surprised Gran doesn’t see smoke pouring out from my ears. I feel as though my mother hasn’t had the slightest clue what’s been occurring in her daughter’s lives. Standing up, I pace. Faint violet-colored eyes watch me move back and forth near her.
“Is that what she told you?” I’m riled up, but I try and manage my anger. It’s not her I’m upset at, but I feel to a degree betrayed again by my own mother. She knew about my grandmother and she didn’t think me living as a bit of ass for Dimitri’s businessmen was a need to get my influential grandmother involved.
Should I blame myself?
Putting my hands on the wallpapered wall, I count my breathing. One… Two… Three…
Of course, I chose to do this, and as much as I know mother knew deep down what my father and Dimitri had planned, I never explicitly explained to her my role in Dimitri’s game. She only knew that he had some hold on me.
Four… Five… Six… Seven…
“Isla, love, come back and sit down. Explain to me what has been happening. Your mother always did skip details that she deemed not to be important. All I am aware of is that you were planning to marry a beast of a man and Adeline explicitly said I needed to come and rescue you.” Turning back toward her, she gestures for me to sit. “Tell me everything.”