TYLER

 

 

There was no excuse. I shouldn’t have said what I did, but the words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. They were true words. She was with Gabe when I first met her, but I’m the one who wanted her. I’m the one who chased her, and yet, there I was, blaming her for giving herself to me.

I wanted to follow, but after what I had just said, after the alcohol I had consumed, I would have only added fuel to the fire. So I just stood there, leaning against the streetlight, watching her disappear into the dark night, letting her think I didn’t care.

Or, letting her think I cared too much.

I knew she was crying from the way her head fell to her hands as soon as she was alone in the car, and I hated myself for it. But I was annoyed. Annoyed and drunk.

Anger coursed through my veins, masquerading as blood. I was angry at my father for inviting Gabe back into the fold when things were so uncertain. And the fact that he had handed it to him on a silver platter. I had worked my way through the ranks to get where I was. Dad had made sure of it. Nothing less than perfect grades in school and a perfect work ethic was expected of me, and now Gabe sauntered in without any effort. If that wasn’t enough, I was furious at him for the way he taunted me. And I was hurt by Lauren’s lies. Even though my heart told me otherwise, my head still shouted and screamed, asking why she never told me. Was there something to hide? Just the mere thought of his hands on her was enough to send my head spinning. And he stood so close to her. He pressed against her. And, as he spoke, his eyes fixed on her mouth and her body, as though he knew her intimately and it cut deep knowing that he did. He knew the sound of her whimper. He knew what it felt like to—

I needed to stop thinking before I made myself sick, before I did something stupid. Taking a deep breath, the cold night air played with my emotions, elevating them to dangerous levels, igniting the liquor and boiling it in my veins. I needed to go back inside. I needed to drown those thoughts before they left permanent scars on my mind. Lauren was quickly becoming everything to me. She was the only woman I’d ever met who, if she left, I would follow.

So why didn’t I?

Why didn’t I call a taxi and follow her? I knew where she would go. I knew she would be at Peta’s. So why didn’t I follow? Why didn’t I wrap her in my arms and whisper sweet apologies into her ear? Why didn’t I drown out my worry with kisses instead of whiskey?

The bouncer said something as I passed, but I didn’t know what it was. The blood, the alcohol, the anger, whatever it was that pulsed through me, rushed too loudly to hear anything else. Brewing in my head was a storm, a squall and I needed something to calm it. The bartender lifted a questioning eyebrow when I demanded another drink so I added a please and a tight smile. What I didn’t need was to be refused service. Whiskey was to be my saviour.

It burned and I relished the sensation as it slid down my throat, leaving my breath on fire. The beat of the music pulsed in my head. Her smile flashed through my mind. Her mouth, open and panting, head rolled back in ecstasy, hands caressing her neck. But they weren’t my hands. They were his. They wrapped around her smooth flesh and moulded it for his pleasure. I leaned on the bar, elbows damp from the spilt drinks and ran my hands through my hair, tugging on the roots until the pain brought distraction.  

“Hey, handsome.” A bag was placed on the bar, and I lifted my weary eyes to find Molly smiling back at me.

“Hi,” I said coldly and pulled my hands from my hair.

“What’s up?” She took a sip of wine. “You look like shit.”

I laughed half-heartedly. Molly was one of the girls on my roster, as I’d heard Gabe call it. It wasn’t anything like that though. I couldn’t be bothered dating before Lauren. There wasn’t anyone I met that I wanted to spend more time with than absolutely necessary, apart from Sadie, but she didn’t count. Molly was a model. A model who liked to be out and about on the town. We had a mutually beneficial relationship. I had a date on my arm to attend the countless social engagements on my calendar, and she got to attend said social engagements and make contacts, get her face seen. It was a win-win situation. We never dated. We were never interested in each other, although there were times when I went to her bed, but I considered them again to be mutually beneficial, fulfilling an itch without the need for any relationship.

“Thanks,” I said dryly. I sipped at the whiskey, the effects of throwing the previous one down my throat now burning through my brain. My thoughts had become muggy. The music was too loud. The lights too bright. I needed to slow down.

Molly looked at me expectantly so I added, “You don’t,” and took another sip, hoping that would satisfy her. Sure, she looked good, but I couldn’t think about her now. Lauren filled too much of my mind already. “What are you doing here?”

She shrugged and drained the contents of her wine glass, lifting it into the air to signal a refill to the bartender. “Our families know each other, remember? My parents are here too.” She looked around the room. “Somewhere.”

The bartender provided a fresh glass of wine, looking at me to ask if I needed a refill. I shook my head.

“Right,” I replied, shaking my head again as though the action could clear my muddled thoughts. “I forgot. How are they?”

“You know.” She took a sip of wine, her fingers toying with the stem of the glass. “They’re the same as always.” With two fingers she twisted the base of her glass on the bar, leaving a smudged ring of liquid. “I haven’t heard from you in a while. Did you find someone to replace me?” She looked up and attempted to blink at me either seductively or innocently. I had lost the ability to tell the difference.

“I kind of did, actually,” I replied. “I’m dating Lauren.”

She frowned and the smallest, tightest of lines appeared between her thick, dark and perfectly manicured eyebrows. I had always hated those eyebrows. They were too groomed, too thick and dark.

“Lauren? Don’t believe I know her.”

“You’ve met her,” I replied without thinking of where the conversation would lead.

“When?”

I swallowed deeply, wanting to curse myself for my stupidity. The night of the charity boxing event was something I didn’t need to be reminded of in this moment. “That boxing match we went to.” I avoided her gaze and took another sip of whiskey as realisation passed across her face.

“But I thought she was with…” She let her words fall.

“She was,” I replied gruffly. I closed my eyes at the thought of Lauren entering that night, cheeks flushed, hand gripped in Gabe’s. I didn’t know if I was more finely tuned to her than everyone else, but I immediately knew what had happened before they arrived. It was the same look on her face as the first time I met her. The same look I was now deeply acquainted with and preferred to not think of it being on her face from anyone other than myself.

“Oh,” Molly said quietly.

She toyed with the stem of her glass again, although this time she held the stem between her finger and thumb and ran them up and down the length slowly, her eyes meeting mine across the bar. She lifted a single brow in a question and took a step closer, but a deep voice sounded behind me.

“Tyler.” My blood boiled the instant he said my name.

“What?” I turned around slowly, not giving him the satisfaction of seeing my discomfort.

Gabe tucked his hair behind his ears. I hated that hair. “Is she okay?”

Molly turned and smiled brilliantly, looping her arm through mine. “Gabe, wasn’t it?”

Gabe’s eyes moved to our joined arms and I untangled myself from Molly, taking a step back and letting the annoyance show clearly in my expression. “She left.”

“She left?” Gabe repeated, completely ignoring the woman by my side.

“She left,” I repeated firmly.

“How could you let her leave?”

I pulled myself straighter, emphasising the height difference between us. “I don’t let Lauren do anything. She’s a big girl. She makes decisions all on her own.”

“Like the decision to go out with Morgan that night?”

“Yes.” I adjusted the stance of my shoulders. “Like that one.” I was done sipping whiskey and threw the rest of it into my mouth, slamming the glass on the bar. The bartender was there with a refill before I could ask.

“It was good to see her that night,” Gabe continued. He was aware of what his words were doing to me. I didn’t blame him. I would have done the same if I was in his position. “She was so happy,” he said, smirking. “So relaxed. It was like the old Lauren was back, you know? The one that danced and laughed.”

“Speaking of dancing,” Molly interrupted. She held out her hand, offering me an excuse to leave the conversation. “Shall we?”

I looked at Molly’s offered hand. I looked at Gabe. To take her hand would be to do the very same thing I was annoyed with Lauren for doing. To stay would continue the conversation with Gabe and, I could already tell from his stance, the set of his shoulders, he was looking for an excuse to start something.

So I took Molly’s hand, draining the contents of my whiskey glass and let her lead me onto the floor. All I could think while dancing with her was why didn’t I do this with Lauren? Why did I let my father’s announcement ruin the evening? And why the fuck was I still here when she wasn’t?

Gabe watched from the sidelines until a girl with large breasts practically rubbed herself against him and he laughed and led her onto the floor. He was all hands. And as he danced with the girl, he stared at me, taunting me as though he was pretending she was Lauren and I was watching on. He slid his hands down her back and squished the flesh of her arse. The girl simply laughed and threw her head back, pretending to scold him even as she adjusted his hands to gain a better grip. The girl wanted Gabe and he knew it.

Molly tried to distract me, physically pulling my face away from where it was stuck on Gabe and the girl. “Tyler,” she said. “Tyler, just ignore him.”

I pulled away from her, once again running my hand through my hair. “I can’t fucking ignore him,” I replied. “He’s doing everything he can to aggravate me.”

Molly lifted a brow. “He’s just dancing.”

“He’s not,” I insisted. Truth was, I didn’t know if he was or not. I had lost all reasoning capabilities. All I could think of was Lauren. Flashes of the intimate times we had spent together danced through my mind, mixing with the times I had been witness to Gabe’s mouth and hands on her until the image seemed to scream in my head. Before I knew what was happening, I lunged across the dance floor and grabbed Gabe around the throat, pushing him backwards through the crowd of people until I had him pressed against the wall.

“Keep your fucking hands off her!”

Gabe had the audacity to grin. “Off who?” he taunted. “Off Haleigh?” He nodded to where the girl with large breasts watched on in horror, her hand clamped over her mouth.

“Tyler.” Sadie’s voice was quiet behind me. “Let him go, Tyler.”

Even with my hands around his neck and with blood heating his face, Gabe laughed. Well, half laughed, half choked. “Or were you talking about Lauren?”

My fist hovered in the air, wavering before his face.

“Go on,” Gabe said. “Hit me. I’m sure Lauren would love to hear all about it.”

I let my fist fall and released the pressure around his neck. Gabe didn’t suck in a breath of air in relief, his hand didn’t go to rub against the redness of his neck. He merely grinned at me. Fucking grinned.

Sadie’s hand reached out and rested on my arm. “Come on,” she said, gently pulling me away. “Let’s get you out of here.”

She led me down the stairs, talking softly into her cell phone, requesting a taxi.

“Thanks,” I mumbled in her direction.

“You’ve had too much,” she replied.

“I know.”

She rubbed my arm, something my grandmother would do, and took a deep breath. “Everything okay?”

I swallowed the lump at the back of my throat. “No.”

“It’s going to be okay, Ty. She loves you. You can tell simply from the way she looks at you that she is smitten. I would kill for someone to look at me that way.”

“Do you really think so? All I can think of is that fact that I stole her away from Gabe. She was happy with him. She was content. She loved him, but it didn’t stop me. And if I can do it to him, what’s to stop someone from doing it to me?”

“You mean, Gabe stealing her back?”

I nodded, letting my head fall to my hands. The world swayed.

“She wouldn’t do that.”

“How can you possibly say that, knowing our past?”

“Because I believe it would have never worked out with her and Gabe. He’s too young for her. And she adores you, Tyler. I mean it.”

I looked at her sceptically.

“She does,” she insisted.

“But why?” My voice broke on those words.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Sadie laughed. “You are Tyler Thornton. Have you ever felt the need to ask yourself that before?”

I shook my head. There was no need. Each woman I had fallen into bed with knew what they were getting. I knew what I was getting. There was nothing other than a mutual fulfilment of need for both.

“But the women I’ve been with before knew it was nothing serious. I didn’t need to offer them anything. With Lauren, I want to offer my life. But why would she want it?”

By this time the taxi had pulled up, and Sadie held the door open. “You’re a very blind man at times, you know that?”

“What do you mean?”

“But the women I’ve been with knew it was nothing serious?” she mocked, repeating my words. “Of course they did, but clearly, what you didn’t know, is that most of the women accepted what you offered in the hope of getting more.”

“Fuck off,” I said.

Sadie pulled the seatbelt across her lap. “It’s true. You might not have been able to see it, but I sure did. I had to follow you around with these woman looking at you like you were the last drop of water in the middle of a desert, and you just carried on completely oblivious. It’s almost a little comical how naïve you are.”

I let the roll of the car slide me over to lean on Sadie’s shoulder. “I should go to her.”

“No.” Sadie adjusted the position of my head on her shoulder. “You shouldn’t. Not in this state. Not minutes after you had your hands around Gabe’s throat. You’re going to have to apologise, you know.”

“I know.” The taxi fell into silence. “Sadie?” I asked after a while.

“Yes, Tyler?”

“I think I’m falling for her.”

“I could have told you that months ago. I don’t blame you.”

I sat up and the world swayed again. “Don’t tell me I have to worry about you too?”

“Well…” Sadie let the word hang before laughing. “She is an awfully attractive woman. There’s something very natural and—” Sadie held her hand in the air and scrunched her fingers as though there was something under them, and she was struggling to figure out what it was.

“Fucking beautiful?” I prompted.

She let her hand fall and shrugged. “That will do.”

“Sadie?”

“Yes, Tyler?”

“I love her.”

Sadie patted my hand. “I know, Ty. I know.”

“Sadie?”

I could almost hear the corners of her mouth turning upwards. “Yes, Tyler?”

“Does she love me?”

“She’s the only one who can tell you that.”

“Sadie?” I asked again.

“Yes, Tyler?”

“I think I’m drunk.”