TYLER

 

 

When Lauren wasn’t mine, I spent most of my time daydreaming about all the things I wanted to do to her. But once she became mine, a nervousness descended. Suddenly, it mattered what I said, how I acted. All of it would have a direct impact on her happiness. On my happiness. I think that was what got me when she first came to visit. I picked her up from the airport, overwhelmed with the intensity of my feelings when I laid eyes on her, but as soon as we got into the car, I didn’t know how to act. I had never really had a serious relationship before. Never had much of a relationship at all.

I did not want to fuck it up.

Ever since a moment in my youth, I had planned every step of my life. My education. My career. My social life. And then Lauren walked into my life, and none of it seemed to matter. No longer did I care what my mental list said I required in a partner. Now there was only one thing scrawled across it: Lauren. My attraction to her was instant and intense. I couldn’t even place a finger on anything in particular that drew me to her. It was everything.

Distance didn’t help. Time allowed anxiety to imagine all the ways I could fuck this thing I had with Lauren up. Most of them involved Gabe.

I gave up trying to concentrate on the spreadsheet open on my laptop and closed the lid, sliding it back into my bag. I agreed to visit Lauren this time. She hoped it would be better if I wasn’t able to be called into work at the beck and call of my father. I agreed but reminded her of the interruptions that occurred at her place last time I had been down. I hoped to avoid them this time.

Almost three weeks had passed since I last saw her. Three weeks where we talked via video calls and sent stupid messages counting down the days until we saw each other again. There were a couple of flying visits for her to do more photography of the casino, but they were fleeting and only left me wanting more. And all that time, in the back of my head was the fact that Gabe lived only minutes away from her.

I lived hours.

I hated the distance between us. I wanted nothing more than to scoop her up and carry her back with me to the city. But even I had to admit that was moving rather quickly. Part of me didn’t care though. The moment I first saw her I knew we belonged together. I wanted her to know me. Not as part of my family, not as a cog in the wheel of Thornton Industries, but as me and me alone.

I let out a silent prayer of thanks when the wheels of the plane touched the ground. I never let people know, but flying frightened me. I felt panic at the loss of control, placing my life in someone else’s hands. Someone that I usually never got to meet, or even catch a glimpse of. The only hint of them was conveyed through a crackled voice over the intercom, and the usual hesitation in their speech did little to calm me. As soon as the plane stopped, people got to their feet, all scrambling to be the first to collect their luggage from the overhead compartment and filing towards the door. I waited until the line started moving before I gathered myself and stood.

The air hostess who had been attempting to chat me up for most of the flight, smiled at me, pressing a piece of paper into my hand. She winked. “It’s a small town. Give me a call if you get bored,” she said as I ducked to walk out the door. I let the paper fall from my hand and flutter to the ground in the wind.

The airport was small and there was no air bridge to lead us to the terminal. Instead, we crossed the pavement, guided by flight attendants smiling dutifully in the bitter cold, clothing flapping in the wind.

I cleared my throat, trying to dislodge the nervousness resting there. Why I was so nervous, I couldn’t tell you. Usually, I never fumbled for words. I could turn on charm like a switch. It didn’t seem to work with Lauren though. I guess it was because I didn’t want her to fall for my fake display of charm. I wanted her to fall for me.

The line of people approached the sliding doors to the terminal. Inside I could see the gathered crowd. Most of them leaned against walls, or rested in the seats, eyes glued to their phones, but hidden in one corner, I spotted Lauren. She stood balanced on the tips of her toes, eyes scanning the line of people, bouncing just enough so her breasts wobbled beneath her top. When she saw me her eyes lit up and she smiled brilliantly.

And just like that my nervousness faded. But it was replaced by something else. Desire. After all, it had been over three weeks. I wanted to slide inside her and feel her grip onto me. I wanted to feel the softness of her skin under my hands. I wanted to hear her moan and call out my name.

The few days we had spent together were a tease. Ever since she left, I had spent my normally sleepless nights even more disturbed, unable to get the image of her nakedness from my mind until I would relent and masturbate, only for desire to overwhelm me again not long after, my body unsatisfied with the feeble substitute of imagination, and wanting the real thing.

She held her arm up and waved, stepping out from her hiding place and waiting for me as I walked through the doors. I strode over to her, unaware of anything else, and gathered her in my arms, kissing her passionately until I got to the stage where I was going to have to release her or it would become plain to anyone looking just how pleased to see her I really was.

God, she was beautiful. She had these big eyes that looked at me adoringly. This hair than I wanted to get lost in. This body that seemed to spill out of her clothing in the most alluring way. This mind I wanted to explore. This talent I wanted to display.

“Hi,” she said, blinking up at me once I had torn myself away from her mouth.

“Hi,” I said back and kissed her again. Gently, this time.

She wore a white shirt and black pants, having come straight from her job at the café to greet me. Her ample arse curved delightfully under the dark material and I wanted to grip onto it, pull her towards me and grind my growing erection into her. The shirt was a little too small for her and the buttons holding the fabric together over her chest strained under the pressure, allowing the swell of her breasts and a flash of black lace to peek through. God, she was sexy. She was to be my undoing if I was getting a hard-on merely from looking at her in such plain clothes. But I couldn’t get that mental image of her in my bedroom, bent at the waist, arse jutting into the air, hands pressed to the glass out of my head.

She must have mistaken my eyes roaming over her as disapproval as she apologised. “Sorry,” she said, looking down at herself. “I had to come straight from work. I didn’t have time to get changed.”

I noticed a dusting of flour smeared across her chin and wiped it away with my thumb. “Don’t ever apologise for the way you look.” I bent down close to her ear. “All I was thinking about was taking them off.”

She took my hand in hers, squeezing it gently as she led me from the terminal. “I’m parked just outside. Not too far to walk in this wind. It’s terrible. It’s been like this for days.”

I want to say I listened to every word she said, but if I was being honest with myself I could not stop thinking about her naked and all the things I wanted to do to her. With each step, each word, each smile, it felt as though she was taunting me. My eyes kept getting stuck on her mouth and imagining what it would look like wrapped around my cock. It was almost too much.

When we passed by a door in the wall marked with an exit sign, I pulled her to the side and slipped through. As soon as I had made sure we were alone, I pulled her to me, bringing our lips together and pressing my body as close to her as I could get.

She melted beneath me. Her body gravitated towards mine effortlessly, as though it knew it belonged there, and I took her face between my hands, deepening my kiss.

“I’ve missed you,” I murmured into her mouth.

“Really?” she mumbled back, her breath hot and heavy, her hands feverishly exploring my body, but her mouth curving into a slight smile. “I wouldn’t have picked up on that.”

“Three weeks is too long.”

She nodded against me and her hand dove to graze my erection. “Careful,” I hissed, pulling back slightly. “Or you’ll start something that you will have to finish unless you want me to walk out of here with everyone knowing just how attracted to you I am.”

“I wouldn’t mind that,” she said, as she hooked her leg around mine, pulling me closer. My hands fell to her backside, cupping the cheeks of her arse as she used the leverage to wrap both legs around my waist. Our movements were urgent and unguarded. I walked forward with her draped around me until she was pressed against the wall, my mouth moving across her jawline until I reached one of the spots I loved the most—the curve of her neck. The way she melted when I kissed her there made both my heart and my cock swell. Her head fell to the side and a moan escaped her lips. I hardened more and thrust against her until the desire grew too much and I lowered her legs to the ground. She looked up at me lazily, the smile on her lips dripping with temptation.

“I think I need to get you to a bedroom before I explode,” I said, stroking her cheek.

Lauren adjusted her clothing and reached for the door handle. “Well, what are you waiting for?”

“Give me a minute,” I said, trying not to look at her, trying not to think of her until my erection faded. She leaned over, pressing onto her tiptoes and kissed me. “That’s really not helping,” I said, with no effort to move away. I wanted to get lost in her. Get drunk on her.

She laughed and stepped back. “This might help. Peta made me promise that we’d go over for dinner tonight.”

“Tonight?” I said, slightly dismayed. I had planned on spending the entire evening with her in bed, taking my time, slowly enjoying her until I fell into a contented sleep.

As well as Lauren being on my mind at nights when I couldn’t sleep, so had my father. There was something going on at work that I couldn’t put my finger on. Meetings that I wasn’t called to. Discussions that stopped when I walked into the room. This made my usual insomniac tendencies even worse. The last thing I wanted to do was to have to play nice with her friends.

“She really wants to get to know you.”

I pouted, letting my lower lip fall playfully. “But tonight?”

“She’s working tomorrow night.”

Our reunion was restricted to two measly nights. “I don’t want to go,” I said. “I want to be grumpy and surly and stay in, watching whatever programme is fascinating you at the moment, and fuck you.” I smiled wickedly. “Over and over and over and—”

“Please, Tyler,” she joked. “Speak plainly. Otherwise, how will I know how you truly feel?” She laughed again and opened the door wider. “You’ll like Peta and Shrek.”

“Shrek?”

“Peta’s husband.”

“Where do you meet all these people with such weird names?” I followed her out the door. “And who on earth would call their kid Shrek?”

Lauren rolled her eyes and threaded her fingers through my free hand. “It’s a nickname.”

I watched her as she drove us back to her place, the way she ran her tongue over her bottom lip each time she turned a corner, the way her fingers gripped onto the steering wheel, making me wish that I was the one under her hands, the way her breasts flashed through the stretched strip of material.

“Fine,” I said as we pulled into her driveway.

She looked at me with surprise. “Fine, what?”

“Fine, I’ll go.”

She screwed up her face. “It wasn’t really a request.”

I couldn’t help the hint of a smirk from crossing my face. “It wasn’t?”

Her nose twisted again and she shook her head. “Nope.”

“Well, in that case,” I said, opening the door of her small car and reaching into the back to grab my bag. “I will need you to help me relieve some of this built-up pressure I’ve been feeling over the past few weeks before we go.”

Lauren slammed her door shut and unlocked the door to the house. “Is that a request?” She walked inside, holding the door open.

“Nope,” I echoed her, throwing my bags onto the couch and immediately turning and taking her in my arms, wrapping my hands around her arse and hoisting her to my waist. She threw her head back in laughter as I walked her down the hallway, and then she started undoing the buttons of my shirt, kissing my chest when each one fell open. By the time we reached the bedroom, my shirt had been tossed to the floor and I lowered her onto the bed, buried my head between her breasts, breathing in her scent, and nipped at the soft flesh with my teeth through the material of her shirt.

The reality was better than the fantasy.

She smiled seductively as I stood to unbuckle my belt and started to undo the buttons of her own shirt, making my movements more urgent. I needed to be free of all clothing. I needed to sink into her and feel her mould around me. I needed her and only her.

“I’m sorry,” I said, once I was naked and tugging at her shoes. “But I need to be inside you right this moment. No preamble.” Her shoes fell to the floor and she lifted her hips as I pulled her pants down until they joined the puddle of clothes on the floor.

She moved to sit up, but I pushed her back and climbed over top, negotiating her legs further apart with my knees. I pressed against her, feeling her wetness, her readiness, and pushed inside. A low moan escaped as I sunk inside her. This was where I wanted to be. Where I wanted to stay. I bent my head and kissed her softly, moving gently back and forth inside her. The desperate fucking that I thought I longed for, fell to the side and the desire to make love as she looked into my eyes over took me. I wrapped my hand around the back of her neck, holding it firmly as I moved within her. Her eyes rolled back in her head and a dreamy smile passed over her expression. I shifted further up her body, allowing the base of me to rub against her clit as I rocked back and forth. Her eyes opened in surprise then darkened with desire as she squirmed under me, locking her legs around my own.

I would like to say we stayed like that for hours, locked in each other’s embrace, twisted in each other’s arms, joined at the hips, but it had been three weeks. As Lauren’s breathing turned to pants, and her moans grew longer and more desperate, as her walls tensed around my hardness and I felt her impending orgasm, my body responded in time to hers. Our lips met in a messy fumble as we came together in a pile of limbs and lips, sweat and salt.

I rolled off her, content, at least for the time being, and spread across the bed, my head resting on her stomach. Her hands floated down to thread through my hair, running the tip of her nails over my scalp until a shudder ran through me. With my ear pressed to her skin, her heartbeat pounded faintly, and I lifted my hand to trace the scar that ran across the base of her stomach.

She grabbed me. “Don’t,” she said. And then fearing her tone was too harsh, she brought my fingers to her mouth, brushing her lips across the knuckles. “I don’t like to be touched there.” She took a deep breath. “It feels wrong somehow.”

“Is it from what I think it is?” The scar ran between her hip bones in a jagged line. “What happened?” I whispered when she didn’t answer.

“I had a child with Derek.” She spoke so low, I could barely make out the words. “She died.” Her voice broke and I wrapped my arm around her waist, pulling her tight. Clearing her throat, Lauren tensed under me. “I can’t have children,” she blurted out suddenly. “Derek wanted more and we tried but it didn’t work. I can’t get pregnant. I can’t have children.”

She shifted beneath me, almost pulling her body away from mine. I wrapped my arm tighter around her waist, holding her in place.

“Why?” I asked, my tone neutral.

A sigh escaped her, though I wasn’t sure if it was of sadness or frustration. “They don’t know. The doctors say there is no medical reason for why I didn’t fall pregnant again, and Derek reminded me often enough that his swimmers were working fine.”

“I’m sorry.” The tension had gone from her tone, and this time her words were coated in tears. “I probably should have told you earlier.”

“It doesn’t matter.” And to me, it really didn’t. I came from a blended family. Family was more than just blood. And I had more to do with my stepmother than the woman who had given birth to me.

“But it does,” she protested. “I can’t give you children. I mean, not that we’ve discussed it or anything. I don’t want to freak you out but I feel like you should—”

I hushed her as her words became desperate. “There are more ways to have a family than by getting pregnant.” I lowered my head and pressed a kiss to the line that graced her belly. “To me you are perfect.”

A sob fell from her lips. “So you’re not annoyed I didn’t tell you? There were times I could have mentioned it but for some reason, it is a scary thing to admit to anyone, let alone the man I’m falling in love with.”

I twisted my head to look at her. Those large eyes of hers were glistening with tears, her lips still swollen and bruised from my attention. She was everything I had ever wanted and more. “You’re falling in love with me?” I couldn’t help the smirk that crossed my face.

Wiping away the few tears that had managed to escape, she smiled. “Maybe,” she said.

I lowered my head back to her stomach and smiled even though she couldn’t see it. “I’ll take that.”