Chapter 8
Jax held his breath as he eased off Gabby, removed the condom, and threw it in the small trash can she kept near her bed. Even though she’d said she wouldn’t regret it afterward, he had his doubts. But instead of racing off to the bathroom like she had the night before, Gabby rolled over to face him.
“You okay?” he asked when she didn’t say anything.
“Thinking.”
He flipped to his side so he could see better. “About?”
“Us.”
The one word back and forth wasn’t really getting them anywhere, so he decided to take a different tack. “Are you having second thoughts about—”
“No.” She averted her eyes, looking off into the distance. “I meant what I said before.”
Not liking the separation, he reached for her hand and laced their fingers together.
She returned her gaze to him. “I’m still hurt you didn’t talk to me before you left. That you didn’t tell me—”
“I know. I can’t tell you how sor—”
“Let me finish.”
“Sorry.” Jax shut up and let her talk.
“As much as I might hate to admit it, this thing between us never went away. And I’m not sure it ever will. I will probably love you until the day I die. Maybe longer than that.” She sighed. “I know that might sound pathetic to some, given the circumstances, but there it is. I’m tired of fighting it.”
“So does that mean you want to give us another shot?”
Gabby was quiet for a long moment. “Yes.”
He leaned in to kiss her, but she pulled back. The hope that had been blooming in his chest was replaced with anxiety.
“No more secrets.”
“I promise.”
He went in again for that kiss, but once more she thwarted him. “I mean it.”
“I know.” He cupped the back of her head with his free hand. “I promise to be a good boy from now on.”
She giggled and playfully pushed at his chest as his mouth descended upon hers.
By the time their lips separated, they’d inched their way closer to each other until their bodies were intertwined once more. One of his arms was cradling the back of her head while he had the other hand holding on to one of her ass cheeks. Maybe it wasn’t the best position to have this type of conversation, but he had no desire to release her. Not after all this time.
“I missed you,” she whispered. “I missed this.”
“I won’t leave you again.”
“You better not. I might have to take drastic measures.”
He ran his hand up her back and down again. “Understood.”
They lay there touching for several minutes before she spoke again. “I don’t think we should tell Taylor yet. I don’t want to get her hopes up.”
Her words hit him like a kick in the gut. “You don’t think it will work between us?”
“You hurt me, Jax.” Her words did nothing to help the pain in his belly. “I’m willing to give you another chance, but I need some time.”
That wasn’t what he wanted to hear, but he couldn’t say he blamed her. It was his fault they were in this position, after all. If not for his leaving, they would most likely be married by now and Taylor might even have a brother or sister.
He glanced down at their naked bodies and back to her, raising one eyebrow. “So you’re saying you want to take it slow?”
“Not exactly.” She sighed. “I just don’t want to jump in where we left off.”
It was then he got it. “You don’t want me to move back in.”
Gabby hesitated. “I think we need to maybe test the waters first.”
“So you want to date.” It wasn’t really a question. Besides, if he was wrong, he knew she’d correct him.
She didn’t. “I think that would be the smart thing to do.”
As much as he didn’t want to take it slow, he understood where she was coming from. “Okay. We’ll date.”
A look of pure relief crossed her face and she sagged against him. “Thank you.”
He tucked her head beneath his chin and cuddled her close. “Whatever you need, Gabby. I’m just grateful you’re giving me another chance. I’ll make it up to you. I swear I will.”
“I’m going to hold you to that,” she mumbled against his chest before she yawned.
“Tired?”
“Very. I didn’t get much sleep last night.”
He turned onto his back, taking her with him. Gabby laid her head above his chest and rested her hand on his stomach. “Sleep. We can talk more later.”
“It’s okay. I’m used to functioning on little to no sleep.”
Jax pressed his lips to the top of her head. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help you with Taylor.”
She let out a little hum. “You help now. I’ve gotten more writing done in the last month than I had the previous six.”
“Doesn’t make up for the times I wasn’t there.” He trailed his fingers up and down her arm, enjoying being able to touch her freely. “Did you ever get anything published?”
He felt her nod. “Two, actually. The one I’m working on now will be number three.”
“That’s amazing, Gabby.”
“Thanks.”
She yawned again and he knew he should let her sleep. There would be time later. If the news stations were to be believed, he wasn’t going anywhere until tomorrow.
“Jax?”
“Yes?” He hated to admit it, but his own lack of sleep was catching up to him. It was getting difficult to keep his eyes open.
“Did you—” She paused. “Did you date anyone when you were gone?”
That woke him up a little. He figured the topic would come up eventually, but he hadn’t been prepared for it so soon. “No. No one.”
She didn’t comment.
The longer he lay there, the more he wondered if she had dated anyone. He had been gone three years and she was a beautiful woman. It wasn’t something he wanted to think about, but given she’d brought it up . . . “What about you? Did you date anyone?”
He held his breath waiting for her to answer.
“I went on two dates with two different men.”
Jax thought about the condoms in the drawer and reminded himself they hadn’t been opened. As much as he wanted to ask her more, he didn’t feel as if it was the right time.
She didn’t seem to feel the same way. “They were both nice men. Polite. Handsome. And when I told them about Taylor they didn’t get up and run in the other direction.”
He was waiting for a but.
“At the end of the date they both asked to see me again, but I couldn’t do it. My heart wasn’t in it and I knew it wouldn’t be fair to them if I let it continue.”
The silence dragged on and he wondered if she was finished.
“You ruined me for other men.”
The pattern his fingers had been making on her skin stopped. He shifted his position so he could look her in the eye. Tipping her chin up, he made sure she met his gaze. “It seems we had the same problem. I made a friend in physical therapy. He tried to fix me up a few times and I turned him down every time every time.” Jax shook his head. “I couldn’t imagine myself with anyone but you and, at the time, I thought I’d ruined our relationship beyond all repair.”
Gabby took hold of his hand and pressed his fingers to her lips. “We’re quite a pair, aren’t we?”
He grinned. “So it seems.”
She yawned again, but this time she rolled over, presenting him with her back.
“Are you trying to tell me something?” He’d said it as a joke, but he was being somewhat serious. If she wanted him out of her bed so she could sleep, he would go even though he didn’t want to.
“That I’m sleepy?”
For a split second he thought about asking outright if she wanted him to give her some privacy, but he thought better of it. If she wasn’t asking, he wasn’t volunteering.
Deciding to press his luck, he eased in behind her, pressing his front to her back. He tucked one arm under his head and curled the other around her waist.
She released a contented sigh and he knew all was good. They’d make it through this. They had to. It was just going to take a little time.
***
Warmth against her back was the first thing Gabby became aware of as she awoke. The second was the sound of Jax breathing in her ear. He was still asleep. Or at least most of him was asleep. A certain part of his anatomy was very much awake and pressing into her backside. Her nipples grew hard remembering him inside her and she felt the moisture between her legs increase. As was always the case, her body was ready for him.
Gabby began edging away, knowing she needed to put some space between them before she jumped him again. She didn’t get far.
“I thought you said you wouldn’t run away again,” Jax mumbled.
She turned to find his eyes were open, staring back at her. “I’m not. I just . . . I didn’t want to wake you.”
With a move swifter than she imagined possible, he reached out, wrapped an arm around her waist, and pulled her back down to lie beside him. He tucked her into his side. “That’s better.”
“Is it?” Her voice came out as not much more than a squeak. That wasn’t good.
“Yes. We’re stuck here, probably for the rest of the day, so there’s no need to rush out of your nice comfy bed.” He trailed his fingers down her forearm and back up to her shoulder before tracing a line along her collarbone with his index finger. “Are you hungry?”
“No. I’m fine.” In reality, she wasn’t fine. She wasn’t sure what she was.
He nodded.
They lay there not speaking for a long time. She had to admit it was nice just being there with him. His hands never stayed still, though, and before long all her nerve endings were on fire and she was pressing her legs together looking for some friction.
“I think we need to talk some more.”
His words tore her away from her more erotic thoughts. “We do?”
“Yes. I think we need to talk about where we go from here. What we want for the future.”
She swallowed, not sure if she wanted to go down this path yet.
It didn’t seem to matter. He plunged ahead anyway. “I understand you’re not ready for us to live together again, but I’d like for that to happen. Eventually. When you’re ready.”
“I’m not.”
He brushed a lock of her hair away from her face. “I know. And we will go as slow as you need.”
Gabby pressed her lips together trying not to laugh.
“What?”
“You’ve been in my house for less than twenty-four hours and we’ve already had sex twice. I’m not sure that qualifies as slow.”
He grinned. “What can I say? I’m irresistible.”
Gabby punched his arm and he feigned being hurt. “Not funny.”
“It wasn’t meant to be a joke.” He shifted his weight so she could fully feel his erection against her hip.
Unable to stop her body’s reaction, she felt her pussy clench. “I thought we were going to talk.”
“We are talking.”
“I’m serious,” she said, trying to look stern.
Jax sighed and rested his forehead on her shoulder. She heard him breath several times before he met her gaze again. “You’re right. Maybe we should get dressed and check the news. If we remain here, I’m not going to able to keep my hands to myself for long.”
A surge of feminine pleasure shot through her and a soft moan reverberated low in her throat.
“Gabby?”
She refocused on him and saw the look in his eyes had changed. “What?”
“If you keep making sounds like that, I’m going to forget all about being sensible.”
It took her a moment to realize what he was talking about. “Sorry.”
He rubbed the pad of his thumb over her lips, closed his eyes, and then climbed out of bed. Her gaze immediately went to his ass. Unlike some men, Jax had a butt—a nicely rounded one that was perfect for holding on to.
Stifling a groan, Gabby made herself stop looking and get out of bed. She walked over to the door and removed her robe from the hook. She slipped it on and turned to find Jax looking at her.
“You okay?” she asked when he continued to stare.
“Yeah.” He swallowed hard. “I’m fine.”
“Okay. Well, I think I’m going to go see what we have in the refrigerator and start on lunch.” She wasn’t hungry yet, but it would give her something to do besides jump him again.
“Sounds good.” Jax picked up his discarded sweater. “If it’s okay with you, I’m gonna grab a shower.”
She tried not to think of him naked and wet in her shower. “Sure. You remember where everything is?”
“I’m sure I’ll manage.”
Neither of them budged for several seconds. Then something got him moving and he darted for the door.
Gabby waited until she heard the door to the bathroom close before she went around the room and picked up the rest of their discarded clothes. Then she made the bed. She had no idea why since they’d most likely mess it up again in the very near future, but it was something to keep her mind off what was happening in the other room.
The shower was still running when she emerged from her bedroom and made her way down the hall to the front of the house. Jax had left the television on and she stopped to see if there was anything about the weather. There wasn’t. It was Saturday afternoon and as usual there was nothing on worth watching.
She picked up the remote and turned the television off before heading to the kitchen to start figuring out lunch. There was still leftover Chinese food, but she figured she’d save that for later. At the moment she needed something to keep her mind occupied.
After checking to make sure she had everything she needed, Gabby pulled out all the ingredients for her homemade lasagna. She didn’t make it often because it took more time than she usually had with a three-year-old running around. Given her current situation, however, it was a perfect distraction.
Jax strolled out of the hallway ten minutes later, freshly showered. She counted her lucky stars that he was fully clothed and that he wasn’t strutting around in a towel.
He spotted her and came to take a seat at the island. “What are you makin’?”
“Lasagna.”
“Oh, yum.” He slid off the stool and walked over to her. “How can I help?”
She was on the verge of telling him she had it covered but changed her mind. If he was busy helping her make lunch, she wouldn’t have to worry so much about them ending up naked on the kitchen island. At least, that was how she rationalized it in her mind. As much as her body would have loved to do exactly that, she had to keep her head on straight. Not only for her sake, but for Taylor’s as well. They couldn’t afford to screw this up. Taylor didn’t remember her father leaving the first time around. She would now. So Gabby had to be smart about this.
“You could brown the meat while I put the noodles on to boil.”
Like no time had passed, Jax went to the drawer and pulled out her largest skillet. He picked up the package of ground meat. “The whole thing?”
“Yes, please.”
Soon they were working side by side. It felt natural. Comfortable. Like he’d never left.
It took almost an hour to get everything assembled and ready to go into the oven, but it already smelled heavenly. She made sure to put a baking sheet under the casserole dish in case any of the sauce spilled over, and then shut the door.
“How long until it’s done?” he asked.
“Forty-five minutes to an hour.”
Jax was at the sink, rinsing off the items they’d used and loading them into the dishwasher. She’d gotten used to doing everything herself. It was nice having help again.
“Thank you.”
He looked up and smiled at her. “You’re feeding me. It’s the least I can do.”
Gabby knew she needed to come up with something or clothes were going to start coming off. She could already feel her internal temperature starting to rise. “Did you want to watch a movie? I have a few that aren’t cartoons.”
The soft chuckle he released stirred up the butterflies in her stomach. “Sounds good.”
He held out his hand and she took it, weaving their fingers together as she led them out of the kitchen.