SEVEN
HE’D ALREADY RUINED everything, Vikan thought just as he spied a series of caves he’d suspected would be around this region of the western lands.
They’d been walking in silence for what felt like spans. After Vikan had told Taylor the truth, that the beginning of their matehood affected her too, regardless of what she thought, she’d gone quiet and turned her head away to look in front of them. If she wasn’t so tense in his arms, Vikan might’ve thought she slept.
A moment later, his booted feet touched sand so soft that he sunk down to his calves. He knew it would be soft enough for his female to walk on, but he had no intentions of setting her down, despite her anger at him.
Everything had already gone so wrong that Vikan wondered if she’d ever forgive him. First he’d stolen her in the middle of the night, then the loss of fuel and the forced landing, and then having to journey to Lopixa on foot. Instead of warm furs that night, he’d be giving her a rocky, cold cave.
And then he’d told her he wasn’t pleased that his Instinct woke for her. The words had come out wrong, but how could Vikan deny the base root of his meaning?
He’d been content to live out the rest of his life span in numbness. He’d accepted it.
Yet, she came in a flash he hadn’t expected and warped everything he thought he knew.
Because of her, he was being disloyal to Nitav. Because of her, he could hardly think straight and his moods were mercurial. Because of her, his body and mind felt like a stranger’s.
And because of her…he felt something for the first time in a long time.
Maybe he should have told her that instead of what had slipped out of his mouth.
But Vikan had never been a master of beautiful words or the owner of a charming tongue, as some of his warrior brothers possessed. He’d always been blunt and quiet, to the point that others thought he was cold and unfeeling. When in reality, Vikan was the opposite. He felt too much. His gift of foresight had only complicated that. The only way Vikan knew how to cope was to desperately try and detach his emotions from situations because if he didn’t…the intensity of them could drown him sometimes.
Just as they had with Nitav.
With Nitav, he had opened himself to her, had made himself vulnerable to what they’d built together.
In the end? The loss had nearly killed him.
And Vikan feared that if he let himself grow too attached to the human female in his arms—which he already feared was happening—then she would have the ability to cut him even deeper if she left him willingly. He feared it would hurt him more than Nitav’s death.
Even then he knew, if Taylor left him, if his fated mate left him…he wouldn’t be able to survive it. Not again. Not when his Instinct was involved and rooting to her, deeply.
He didn’t realize that he was clutching her tighter until she touched his forearm. That contact jolted him, sizzling through his bones, and when he looked down, he saw her watching him closely.
He swallowed the rock lodged in his throat and rasped, “There are caves up ahead.” Then, with reluctance, he set her down onto the silky sand, holding her waist until she righted herself. She sank in until he could no longer see her small, pale feet.
Except for a quiet, “Okay,” she didn’t say anything else and let him guide her to his cave of choice. During the cold season, the caves were used by kikixa, loud, large flying beasts of prey that liked to nest there.
During that time of the rotation, he hoped they would be empty.
However, when they reached them, he motioned for Taylor to stay at the entrance and then he ducked inside the largest cave, listening intently for the little whistles of kikixa feathers. He only heard silence and approached further, his eyes adjusting to the blackened darkness quickly.
The cave was small, but was large enough that there would be room for both of them, but none for a fire. Just to be safe, he checked the other cave closest to the large one, but there were no signs of kikixa and Vikan knew it would be safe for the remainder of the night.
When he returned to Taylor, she had her arms wrapped around her body, which was only clothed in a thin tunic that reached the middle of her thighs. Again, Vikan cursed himself and his haphazard plan and hurried to her, feeling shame that his female was cold and he wasn’t warming her.
“Come,” he murmured and when she looked up at him, something lit in her eyes. But it was gone a moment later and she nodded, allowing him to lead her to the cave entrance.
“I can’t see anything,” she murmured, her fingers finding his wrist. Vikan felt his chest puff at the contact and he only resisted for a moment before catching her around her waist, guiding her deeper inside. It was damp and chilly, from the shore that didn’t lie that far away, but he helped her to the furthest spot within. He would sleep with his back to the entrance, to shield her from the icy spray from the sea.
Without hesitation, he stripped his thick tunic from his body, baring his chest, and he laid it down on the floor of the cave before guiding her down to it.
When she realized what he’d done, even though she couldn’t see, she hesitated for a moment and then said, “I don’t want you to be cold, Vikan.”
Just as before, when his name fell from her lips, his Instinct rumbled within him, masculine satisfaction emanating to every nerve of his body. Her voice was the sweetest sin and in his dreams, he’d heard her moaning his name in his ear as she took his lusts.
“I will not be,” he told her, his tone darker, his throat thick with wanting. “We will warm each other.”
Her breath hitched. In the darkness, he saw her eyes widen slightly. “I…I don’t know if…”
But she trailed off when a shiver racked her body. He was discovering that his mate was a practical female, something he admired about her. She would understand the need for body heat, since they had little else.
“Fine,” she whispered. “Let’s just get some sleep, okay?”
“We will begin the journey once the suns rise, tev?” he told her softly, lowering himself onto the cave floor beside her.
Right as he molded his body around her, he realized too late that his thickened, hard cock might…unnerve her. He positioned her so that her back was flush against his chest so he could wrap his arms around her front to keep her warm.
Yet, his cock was pressing into her lush backside and feeling her against him did nothing to help ease his desire. The opposite, in fact.
“Is that…” she trailed off again, her voice going slightly higher pitched. “Please tell me that’s not what I think it is.”
“Ignore it, female,” Vikan bit out gruffly. “I do.”
Taylor sucked in a breath. “That’s a little hard to ignore.”
“My Instinct has control over my body,” he told her, “over those needs. I will be in this state for as long as I am around you and even when I am not.”
She made a strange sound in the back of her throat that Vikan didn’t think a Luxirian could reproduce. “That…that can’t be healthy.”
“It is natural,” he told her, his voice going husky. Her scent surrounded him and he dragged in each breath greedily.
Then, with guilt, he realized he hadn’t held a female in his arms since Nitav, had thought never to again. He’d missed it, the feel of a female, warm and soft.
His muscles tensed and he bit out, “Sleep. We have a long span ahead of us.”
If she noticed the way his body went tight around her, she didn’t comment on it. She said nothing at all as she tried valiantly to do as he bid. And after a while, her body slowly relaxed, her limbs going from tense to limp.
Eventually, her breath evened out, her chest brushing his arms in a calm rhythm and Vikan knew that she’d fallen into her dreams.
Vikan hadn’t planned on sleeping, but he was too intrigued and curious and perhaps a little trepidatious about the connection they shared.
Would she dream of him again? He couldn’t help but wonder. And he couldn’t help but hope to meet her there.
So, when his eyelids slid shut, he met sleep head on.
* * *
It took him only moments to find her once he actively sought her out. Like a lipikixa to its beloved nest, he was drawn to her like a magnet and followed her like she was a beacon. Vikan should’ve been unnerved by how quickly he discovered her, but he’d be lying to himself if he said he was surprised.
When their bond flared to life, he was catapulted into her dream. Dreamwalking had never been Vikan’s strength. His mother’s sire had been a revered dreamwalker, but Vikan’s main gift had always been foresight.
So, it felt strange at first as he waded into hers, like a thick fog that he couldn’t break. But the moment he saw her, that haze lifted from his mind in an instant. His Instinct filled his chest, his pupils dilating.
In dreams, he felt more free. In dreams, he wasn’t plagued by pain. Often, he controlled his own dreams, using them as a way to keep Nitav alive. He visited her there often, her memory, their memories.
But for once, he didn’t feel guilt. He felt changed, more like himself, or perhaps who he wanted to be for his mate, if their circumstance was different. He would allow himself this, he decided. He wouldn’t allow his torn mind or guilt-ridden duty to follow him there.
In dreams, it would only be him and her.
She was dreaming of the quarters she and the other human women had been kept in, oddly enough, with its bare, windowless walls but plush furnishings. But Vikan knew how strange the mind could be. The quarters were empty. It was only her with none of the other females in sight. And she was sitting in the fire pit, watching the flames flicker up, nestled among the cushions.
Vikan joined her there, sitting next to her, before he acted on his Instinct’s will. He needed to touch her, to hold her. He’d been fighting his Instinct since the moment he saw her, but there, nothing would keep him from her.
So, immediately, he lifted her and put her across his lap, curling his arms around her back until she was cradled securely.
“Vikan,” she murmured, her beautiful green eyes catching on his. And the expression he saw there was identical to the one when he’d woken her earlier. Soft and familiar, full of intimate knowing and affection.
His muscles felt loose, his mind felt calm. Purrs began to rumble in his chest.
“Luxiva,” he murmured back to her, leaning forward to nudge his horns against her forehead, careful of the sharp tips, marking her with his scent. A soft sigh drifted over his cheek and when he sought her eyes, close enough to see every strand of color there, she was watching him with a small, maddening smile.
Vikan pulled back so he could run the backs of his fingertips over her lips, feeling the softness. Lust surged into him but he controlled it as best as he could, though he could feel his cock pulsing against her backside.
Shock and desire made him still when she playfully nipped at his fingers, her dull white teeth flashing as she bit down lightly. Vikan growled, his cock giving another throb so intense he wondered if she could feel it against her.
“You do not know what you tempt, female,” he rasped.
“I do though,” she teased back, placing her hands on his bare chest before running them all the way down his front, tracing over his scars and muscles. “I know exactly what you’re capable of.”
Vikan couldn’t help the groan that tumbled from his throat when her fingers met the cloth of his leg coverings, tracing the length of him through the thick material.
It seemed that in Taylor’s dreams, she allowed herself the same freedom he did. She was remembering him as she had in the visions she’d unknowingly seen of their possible future, not as the male she knew in her reality. In reality, she held herself apart from him. In her dreams, she couldn’t be separated from him.
Knowing that she wasn’t aware this dream was very much real, that Vikan had entered it purposefully, he snagged her wrist gently and pulled her hand away from his cock.
“I just want to hold you, luxiva,” he told her, gathering her closer, despite his Instinct prowling just on the edges of his mind. “Will you let me?”
Taylor looked up at him, her eyes softening, and she nodded her head before pressing her forehead to his chest. Vikan pulled her tighter, inhaling the scent of her hair, tracing the tips of his dark claws up and down her arms, careful not to prick her vulnerable skin.
“Why are you in this room, luxiva?” he asked her softly, testing the limits of the dream.
“I don’t know,” she replied. “I was just here.”
“You could be anywhere,” he said. “Where do you want to go?”
“Lopitax,” she murmured and Vikan felt his body jolt. “Take me to our spot on the shore.”
Vikan’s chest filled again and he nodded, slightly shaken. He’d lived with the gift of foresight his entire life span and yet, seeing that gift culminate in another being, was unexpected. It was…jarring.
She’d foreseen their future, after all, or at least a potential path of their future. Deep in her mind, Taylor knew everything. And it seemed that she would only allow herself to accept those visions in sleep, in dreams.
Lopitax. That meant she’d foreseen them both on the shores of Lopitax, the sea closest to his outpost, and where he often spent early mornings, watching the twin suns rise from the horizon. He knew the exact place she spoke of, because it was the only place he would’ve taken her.
In the dream, he changed her own. In an instant, he brought them to his favorite place and all at once, the silver sea greeted them, shimmering and gleaming as the suns began their ascent. The sand beneath their feet felt like soft, dense fur as Vikan led her to the base of a cliff.
He settled back against it, feeling the smooth stone against his skin, his long legs stretching before him. He pulled her between them, tucking her back to his chest, so they could both watch the new span rising. Her small palms gripped his wrists, feeling his pulse and the measured beat of his heart.
“Much better,” she said softly and Vikan could hear the smile in her voice.