Chapter 9
Austin’s Automotive parking lot was crowded with cars, and spotted with deep, wide puddles. The rain was building up fast. Tiana tried to step carefully out of the truck, but ended up splashing right into the middle of a puddle and soaking her sneakers.
Tiana watched the tow truck driver unhitch her car, to be sure that he wasn’t too rough with it. Though she held her sweatshirt up over her head to ward off the rain, the tactic didn’t work well. As the tow truck pulled away, Tiana hurried into the square, cement building, eager to get out of the rain.
She shook off as she stepped into the building, and little droplets of water rained off of her hair and body, as if she’d brought the thunderstorm inside.
Her soaked sneakers made squishing sounds against the linoleum as she walked up to the front desk.
She described her vehicle issues to the mechanic manning the front desk.
“We’ll check it out for you, and give you an estimate” he promised. He motioned to the little waiting room, furnished with a row of black leather, padded seats, a table with magazines and a pot of coffee, and a large, standing popcorn maker.
The popcorn maker’s glass sides were foggy with grease, and the scent of popcorn and stale coffee filled the air.
“Make yourself at home,” he said. “Help yourself to snacks and a drink.”
Tiana was sure that the coffee hadn’t been refreshed since morning, so she decided not to try any. The popcorn smelled good, so she scooped some out into a little red and white paper bag and then found a seat on one of the little black chairs. She munched on the popcorn, taking solace in the salty, buttery taste, and allowing it to distract her from her anger at Tabor.
As the minutes turned into an hour, she refilled the little bag twice more. As she was working her way through the third bag, trying desperately not to think of Tabor and failing, the door opened.
It was now midafternoon, but the sky outside was as dark as if it was nearly night. A flash of lightning lit up the sky for just a moment as the door opened, and when Tiana looked up to see who the visitor was, all she could see was the outline of a woman, backed by an eerie, lightning-filled sky.
Beyond the woman, Tiana caught sight of a sparkling new Toyota minivan with a flat tire. The lightning lit up the vehicle as if it was under a spotlight. Thunder followed shortly after, and when the woman closed the door the storm outside was finally sealed away into quiet again.
The room was once again filled with the hum of the popcorn machine and the soft grumble and hammering of the machinery in the garage out back.
It didn’t take Tiana long to recognize the woman who had walked through the doors. It was Faye, the head of the mean pack of girls that had tortured her in high school.
Instinctively, Tiana jerked the magazine that was in her hands up, so that it covered her face. This disrupted the bag of popcorn that was balanced in her lap, and it spilled all over the floor around her feet.
Shit, she thought silently.
She lowered the magazine an inch or two, so that she could peer over the top.
Faye was staring at her.
“Big T?” Faye said. “Is that you?”
Tiana lowered the magazine more. “Faye,” she said. “Oh, hi. I didn’t see you walk in.”
Faye smirked disapprovingly.
I’m such an idiot! Tiana berated herself. Of course she knows I saw her.
What, did I think she wouldn’t be able to see me behind this magazine?
She could think of nothing else to say, and Faye seemed to lose interest in her.
Tiana continued to watch Faye as the woman turned her back to Tiana and started speaking to the mechanic behind the desk.
From what Tiana could overhear, Faye had gotten a flat just outside of the shop. When she was informed that there would be a wait, Tiana saw Faye slip the man what Tiana assumed to be a substantial amount of cash, because the mechanic nodded and changed his tune. Instead of a wait, he now promised Faye speedy service.
Of course, Tiana thought. Now they’ll take care of her flat instead of figuring out what’s wrong with my car. I’m going to be stuck here even longer.
The mechanic hurried out to the garage.
Probably going out to give the guys new orders and distribute the tip money, thought Tiana bitterly.
She couldn’t take her eyes off of Faye as the woman turned and looked disdainfully at the small waiting area. As Tiana realized she’d be stuck in the room with Faye for at least twenty minutes, while her tire was patched, her mind started whirring.
Now’s my chance. How can I get her to see that I’m not Big T anymore? How can I prove to her that I’m a good person?
Faye wore slim-fitting, designer jeans, and a designer top to match. Over her top she wore a bright white rain coat, as crisp and spotless as if she’d just bought it that day. It was fitted, showing off the woman’s perfectly sculpted body.
Faye didn’t look bothered by the rain. Instead, it seemed that the water had barely touched her. She’d obviously had her rain jacket’s hood up when she walked into the shop, because her hair was dry and flawlessly styled. Her tan skin was touched up with pink blush highlights and pretty eye makeup.
Tiana felt her fingers go to the ends of her own hair. Though she’d had it professionally blown out before the reunion, now it had lost its shine. The rain had caused it fall into clumps.
She ran her fingers through several strands, trying in vain to comb it so that it would look smoother.
Why do I want to impress her so much? she wondered suddenly. It’s absurd.
The need was deep, and went beyond wanting to look well put together. Instead, it was a more complex need. I want this woman to like me, she thought. I need her to like me. So that I can like myself.
Though she saw the absurdity in her emotions, she couldn't overcome the fact that she wanted to change the way Faye saw her.
But how?
Faye was hugging her purse, as if the popcorn and coffee filled air would contaminate the pristine leather. She eyed the seat and then hesitated before sitting, as if she was too good for the seats.
Tiana lowered her magazine entirely, so that it was lying on her lap along with the crumpled, now nearly empty bag of popcorn.
“Flat tire?” she asked Faye.
Faye nodded.
“That’s too bad. But at least it’s just a tire. I think my car’s got something much bigger wrong with it.”
Faye nodded, and opened her purse. She took out her phone and began looking through it. “Excuse me,” Faye said, barely giving Tiana the time of day. “I have to call my husband. He’ll be wondering where I am.”
Talk to me! thought Tiana. Damn it! I don’t even like you, but I need you to acknowledge me. To like me. Please!
She waited impatiently while Faye placed a call to her husband. The entire time that Faye was on the phone, Tiana was plotting out what she would say next.
As soon as Faye hung up the phone, Tiana spoke. She didn’t want to give Faye time to place another phone call. “How was the rest of the reunion?” she asked. “I didn’t stay for long. I was meeting a friend — Tabor Knight — across the street at the Lightman.”
Immediately, as soon as Tiana mentioned Tabor’s name, Faye’s eyes lit up. “Oh,” she said, finally looking up from her phone and gracing Tiana with eye contact. “Tabor Knight? I heard he was in town.”
“Yes,” said Taina casually. “He was planning on only staying Saturday night but we ended up visiting last night too — he extended his stay. Blew off a meeting and everything. I guess you can do that when you’re the CEO of your own company.”
Faye laughed nervously, and Tiana could see the confusion in the woman’s eyes. That’s right, Tiana said, I was visiting with Tabor Knight.
“You and Tabor are close?” Faye asked, now turning even her body to face Tiana. Tiana sat up straighter, causing kernels of popcorn that had fallen onto her chair to scatter onto the floor. She ignored this and tried to sound casual as she replied. “Yeah,” she said. “It’s kind of a new thing. It’s not ideal because he’s in California and I’m in Texas, but you know how it is when attraction hits you. Distance doesn’t really matter all that much. ”
“I guess,” Faye said. “I mean, I wouldn’t really know. Bobby and I lived down the street from each other when we were teens… and we got married when I was eighteen.”
“That young?” Tiana said. “Wow. I mean, I remember that you guys dated in high school. But I didn’t realize you were married so soon after.”
Faye sighed. “Yeah,” she said. “Married at eighteen, and had our first baby boy six months later,” she said. Her voice drifted off and she became pensive, and got a far-away look to her eyes.
Then her eyes sparkled again, and she sat forward. “So tell me about Tabor!” she said excitedly, as if Tiana was her friend.
This made Tiana feel proud. She’d always wanted to know what it would feel like to be part of Faye’s popular inner circle.
There, she thought. Now Faye knows that I’m worth talking to. This made her feel somehow more worthy, and she liked the feeling.
Subconsciously, she pushed her latest memory of fighting with Tabor from her mind. Instead, she focused on the good parts of the last two days with him.
“He’s as smart as ever,” Tiana said. “But now he’s confident too… in a really sexy way.”
Faye nodded with excitement, as if this was exactly what she wanted to hear about.
Tiana continued. “And he’s so funny, too. His company’s doing really well,” she said. “You probably know about that. He has some big projects planned, that I really think will make Infinity Tech an even bigger deal than it already is, but I probably shouldn’t go into too much detail,” she said illusively. She enjoyed feeling like she was in the know about Tabor’s top secret business deals.
“Wow,” Faye said. “So you guys, are like, really an item?”
Tiana flipped her hair over her shoulder. She was glad that she hadn’t had the chance to unleash her fake-husband story at the reunion. This was ten times better than her fictional professor fiancé.
She laughed in a humble way. “I know it seems odd,” she said. “Tabor says that all the time… that he’s so surprised that we fell for each other. We’re so different… you know? I guess that’s the way these things go sometimes. The heart wants what the heart wants.”
She shrugged as if life was too much of a mystery to explain, and was satisfied to see the look of jealousy on Faye’s face increase.
I spent so many years wanting what she had, Tiana thought, taking in the look of envy. It feels good to have the roles reverse for once. It feels really fucking good.
She felt almost guilty for enjoying it so much, but that passed when she remembered the humiliation that Faye had put her though.
A mechanic stepped into the room with a clipboard. Tiana assumed that his announcement would be about Faye’s minivan, so it took her a few seconds to respond when she heard her own name called out instead.
“Tiana Brown? With the ‘91 Dodge?” Tiana raised her hand and then felt embarrassed for doing so. She stood, and stepped towards the mechanic. There was a crunching sound as she stepped over some popcorn. Her cheeks flushed more.
“Mrs. Brown,” The mechanic said, his voice booming through the whole room. “We found the issue. It’s your timing belt,” he said.
He crossed the room, and stepped behind the front desk, talking the entire time. “It didn’t break, but it slid off of the track. You’re lucky — it didn’t cause any engine damage, but it needs to be replaced before you can drive it.”
“I thought that might be it,” said Tiana, mentally patting herself on her back for having the car towed instead of trying to drive it in to get looked at. “How much will that be for a new one?” she asked.
The mechanic began tapping away at the computer. “Let’s see here… I’ve got one that will work for you here at six hundred, plus the labor… plus tax… we’ve got you coming in at between ten and eleven hundred, depending on how long it takes to get to your engine. We could have it back together by five, most likely, tomorrow.”
Tiana nodded. “Okay,” she said, sending a silent prayer up to her mother for the use of the ring money. She took a deep breath. “Let’s do it.”
That means another night in Austin, she thought. I’ll have to call the cat sitter and my manager. Hopefully, the Marriot will have a room for me. “What taxi service do you recommend?” she asked, thinking through her next steps.
“Charlie’s Cabs is the best deal in town,” the mechanic said. “Want me to get you their number?”
“That’s okay, I’ll look it up on my phone,” Tiana said.
“Okay. We’ll call you when your Dodge is ready for pick-up, Mrs. Brown,” the manager said.
Tiana glanced at Faye and saw that Faye was texting on her phone.
I guess I’ll call that cab, thought Tiana. She returned to her seat to make the call, again walking over the spilled popcorn.
Faye looked up as the kernels crunched under Tiana’s feet.
“Just have to call a cab,” Tiana said, holding up her phone.
“Why don’t you ask Tabor to pick you up?” Faye asked, a glint of suspicion in her eyes.
“Oh… Tabor had to get back to California,” Tiana said. “He’s flying out this afternoon. I don’t want to bother him with this.”
“I doubt he’s flying anywhere,” Faye said, narrowing her eyes. “All flights out of Austin’s Airport have been cancelled because of the weather.”
“Oh,” said Tiana, blushing.
Faye’s news caught her off guard.
The thought that Tabor was still in Austin caught her off guard as well.
He’s still here, she thought. Suddenly, she couldn’t keep the memory of their fight that morning away any longer.
The memories coursed through her as she began to speak, trying to make some kind of excuse for calling a cab rather than Tabor. “It’s hard for us to say goodbye,” she explained. “Emotions run…. high. I bet you know what that’s like with your husband. Every couple fights now and then, when they really care about each other.”
Faye raised her eyebrows. “You guys are in a fight?” she asked. “Just how long, exactly, have you been seeing Tabor?” she asked. “Because I just mentioned your news to Betsy and Nancy and they said Tabor’s notoriously single. He hasn’t had a girlfriend in ages. He dates women now and then… and those women….” Faye looked Tiana up and down, disapprovingly… “those women are nothing like you. Celebrities, athletes, executives… you know.”
Tiana felt her story beginning to slip away from her, as if it was a gift that was being yanked out of her hands. She struggled to hang onto it.
“Tabor likes to keep our relationship on the DL,” she said. “And that’s what he likes most about me,” she said. “That I’m different. Unique.”
The mechanic had grabbed a broom and began trying to sweep up around Tiana, without crowding her too much. He reached the broom around her, corralling the stray kernels into a dusty, buttery pile.
Faye’s sculpted eyebrows shot up farther on her forehead, becoming lost under her styled bangs. “I’ll say,” she said. “You’re one of a kind. Just not Tabor Knight’s kind, I don’t think. No offense.”
“What does that mean?” asked Tiana.
“I mean, it’s hard to believe you guys are seeing each other, Big T. That’s all. Are you sure you haven’t been imagining the whole thing? Or that you’re not… I don’t know… embellishing the truth a little bit?” she asked condescendingly.
Why? Tiana thought. Why couldn't I have left when I was on top? When she still believed me? Before seeds of doubt were planted by those two good-for-nothing busy body friends of hers. Don’t they have anything better to do than shoot down my story?
“I think I know when I’ve slept with someone.” Tiana said, a bit too loudly. “Believe me, it’s hard to forget sex with Tabor Knight.”
Her voice rang through the room, and the mechanic stopped sweeping. He raised his eyes to the two women, as if eager to hear the next part of the story.
Tiana put her phone back into her purse, and snapped it closed. I’ll call the damn cab from outside, she thought. Screw the rain. Screw Faye. Screw all of this.
She shouldered her purse, stood, and pushed past the mechanic. She didn’t say goodbye to Faye, but instead marched straight to the exit and stepped out into the pouring rain.
There wasn’t even an overhanging roof to stand under, and Tiana felt the raindrops pummel her face and bare arms as she looked out at the grey Austin cityscape.
She realized that she’d left her sweatshirt, which was still soaked, on the seat next to her back in the waiting room. There’s no way in hell I’m going back in there to get it, she thought.
Sweatshirts can be replaced. My dignity can’t be.
Not that I have much of that left to preserve, she thought.
Wanting to get away from the garage as quickly as possible, she started moving towards the sidewalk.
There has to be a cafe or something around here, she thought. A place to sit while I wait for Charlie’s Cab to pick me up. A place where I won’t have to be seen by Faye as she drives out of there in her fixed up, perfect, minivan.
Why do I feel like this about her? Why is it such a big deal what she thinks about me? Why did I feel the need to let her know that Tabor and I slept together?
She thought back to Faye’s face as Faye had uttered the words, ‘You’re one of a kind… Just not Tabor Knight’s kind.’
Not Tabor Knight’s kind! fumed Tiana.
Who does she think she is, judging me in that way!
What does she mean by that, anyway?
That I’m not good enough for… what, for a billionaire? A successful man? A handsome man? An intellectual, wealthy, business-savvy, sexy, mysterious, funny….
Shit, thought Tiana. What if I’m not good enough for Tabor Knight?
He’s a fucking billionaire. And what am I? I’ve been broke since I graduated high school. I work as a cashier. I’ve got nothing in the bank. I’ve got nothing to show for myself… for the past ten years of work. I’m fat. I’m ugly. I’m poor.
I’m definitely not Tabor’s type.
She thought back to the women that Faye had mentioned. Tabor usually dates successful women… beautiful women. Skinny, perfect women who look like models I bet. Oh God, what must he think of me? Of my body? Of my… my life? My story?
No wonder he felt so much pity for me.
I’m pathetic.
She had been trudging along the nearly empty sidewalk as she thought, and when she finally looked up from the sight of her sneakers squishing along on the puddle riddled cement, she saw a lit up Crispy Cream shop in the distance.
The thought of warm donuts and coffee couldn’t even lift her spirits, but she kept walking towards it anyways, knowing that it was the practical thing to do.
Why in the world did he sleep with me, then? she thought. Why did he kiss me like that… why did he make love to me?
You were something different… a novelty. That’s why, a snide voice in her head whispered.
He just wanted to see what it would be like, that’s all. He said it himself… varieties the spice of life. You were something new, and different.
You don’t actually matter to him.
He doesn’t want to see you again…
and he doesn’t see it going anywhere.
How could I have possibly imagined that he’d want me to visit him in California? Tiana thought, mortified at her naivety. He wouldn’t want to be seen with me in public. It was okay to be with me here, where no one knows him — but in Silicon Valley, I would only cause him embarrassment.
I’m embarrassing, she thought.
She reached the door to the donut shop and pushed it open. The fluorescent lights were bright and overwhelming, and the cheery atmosphere contrasted with her dark mood.
When the server greeted her with a friendly “Welcome! What can we get started for you?” Tiana felt herself scowl in return.
‘Why are you smiling?’ She wanted to yell. You work at a go-nowhere job just like me. We’re the nothing’s of this world. Why are you so happy?
She placed her order and then slid into a booth to dial the cab.