When we finally came up for air, I tugged on Laurie’s hand and pulled him up the stairs toward the house. We might have been alone out here, but the damn goats didn’t need to watch what was about to happen. Especially Taffy. With my luck, she’d sit and stare at us the whole time… and probably judge my performance too.

“You know,” I said thoughtfully as we made our way to the door. “I never said that I didn’t want to be with you, Laurie. You misunderstood me. See, it’s like this... you know how I didn’t used to wanna be with men, but then suddenly I’m totally into you? The thing is that now my compass needle is firmly pointing toward my true North—you—if you’ll have me, that is...”

Laurie paused with one hand on the screen door as he whipped his head back around to stare at me in surprise. He smiled slowly as he replied. “Yeah, I will definitely have you. But, you do know that us being together means sex too, right?”

I smiled so widely that I could almost feel my cheeks cracking. “I sure as hell hope that means sex, because I’d be lying if I said that my balls weren’t aching right now.”

Laurie bit his lip and gave the sexiest little moan in the back of his throat. He discreetly reached down to press the heel of his hand against his crotch, while he squeaked back at me.

“But, you do remember that I have different parts, right? That whole extra sausage in the bed thing is always going to be there.”

I blushed as I remembered my stupid comment from before, and how I’d freaked out on him on our honeymoon. I couldn’t blame the guy for being gun shy with me.

To show him how different I planned for this to go, I stepped closer and groped his ass with the palm of my hand. With my hand firmly holding his cheek, I leaned closer and whispered in his ear.

“Not only do I realize it, I’ve been pretty damned excited about finally seeing that sausage.”

Laurie gulped and pushed me away with a hand in the center of my chest. I laughed as I stumbled backward. “And you’re only telling me this now? Seriously? Damn, Dean. How many times have I told you that payback’s a bitch?”

“I mean, if you’re not interested…” I trailed off meaningfully, surprised to find myself enjoying this new equilibrium in our relationship.

He reached for the door again, and looked over his shoulder with a sassy wink. “I didn’t hear anybody saying no. But I would like to get inside the damn house, you know?” With that he opened the door and went in with me stumbling after him like an idiot.

While I locked the front door, I heard Laurie fiddling around in the kitchen. I called out to him from the foot of the stairs, figuring that while he was busy I’d go on up and light some candles. I wasn’t much of an expert on this whole gay sex thing, but I figured romance was romance, right?

“Laurie, are you seriously getting a snack right now?”

As if reading my mind, he called back. “I’m only getting a few provisions—why don’t you go up and light some candles to set the mood?”

“I swear, it’s like we share a brain sometimes.” I laughed as I ran up the stairs. By the time I had the candles lit, had stripped down, and was finally sliding beneath our wedding quilt when Laurie came walking into the room with an arm full of… dessert condiments?

Laurie grinned at the confused look on my face as he walked around to his side the bed and began lining up a large can of Reddi Whip on his nightstand, followed by a tiny jar of maraschino cherries, and finally three large, plastic bottles with flip top caps—one with caramel sauce, one with chocolate, and one with strawberry.

He slowly opened the lid on each item, then stood to remove his clothes. He kept his back to me the whole time, which drove me nuts. I was waiting to see the parts of his body that I’d never laid eyes on before.

Still, I found myself strangely mesmerized by the play of muscles in his back as he moved. How had I never noticed before how sexy a man’s muscles could be?

I palmed my cock, pressing the heel of my hand against the base and willing it to calm down as I watched Laurie push down his jeans. As he bent forward to remove them, I hissed out a breath at the sight of that perfect bubble butt. I remembered what Zeke had told me the night before my wedding and suddenly understood why Laurie was known for having a perfect ass.

“Something wrong?” Laurie asked as he turned and yanked the quilt off, revealing my naked body. He grinned at my embarrassment at being caught stroking my cock, and crawled on the bed, the swell of his belly blocking my view of the part I had been waiting to see.

“Honestly? Yes, something is wrong—with me. How the hell have I never noticed your perfect ass before?”

Laurie giggled and grabbed the caramel sauce. “You never noticed it, because you weren’t looking. But I’m glad to know that you’re looking now. Now scoot over here a little, I need you more in the middle of the bed so I can reach my nightstand while we play.”

“Play?” I asked stupidly. “But, I thought we were going to—“

He put a finger to my lips to silence me, and shook his head. “We’ll get there, but we’re going to take this sweet, scenic route I’ve planned.”

There was no way in hell that I was going to admit to Laurie that I’d never experienced food play as foreplay before, so I went with teasing him instead.

“What is this, more pregnancy cravings? Just do me a favor—don’t mistake my dick for a taquito.”

Laurie tipped the jar of sauce and began drizzling caramel around each nipple and down the center of my torso. He glanced up at me and winked.

“Don’t worry, your Coke can is way too thick for me to make that mistake. But that’s okay, today I’m craving something more along the lines of a banana split.”

I sucked in a breath as chocolate sauce was poured over me next. Holding the bottle aloft, he drizzled it over my skin as he crisscrossed the caramel with wiggly lines, and put a few dots in the crevices between my abs. I lifted my head to look down at my chocolate-and-caramelly stomach, then looked over at Laurie.

“Aren’t you worried about making a mess?”

Laurie turned and grabbed the strawberry sauce, and the small jar of maraschino cherries before answering me.

“Does it look like I’m worried about making a mess? That’s why I took off our quilt. Now hush, lay back and let me have fun with my body art. This is some real Pinterest-level shit I’m doing right now.”

I lifted my head and looked back down the length of my torso, and had to agree as I watched the artistic lines he was now making with the strawberry syrup.

After he had everything just so, Laurie put a maraschino cherry over each nipple, and one in my navel. Then he grabbed the Reddi Whip, and began covering my cock in a mound of sugary cream.

Once he was satisfied that my cock was completely covered with whipped cream, Laurie stuck a final cherry over the tip of my dick. Then he put everything back on his nightstand, and picked up his phone.

“Oh, fuck that. You are not getting blackmail shots of me,” I protested. I reached out to grab his phone, but Laurie giggled and slapped my hand.

“Hush, these are for me. I want to enjoy this later—don’t worry, your brothers won’t ever see these.”

He snapped a few pictures then looked at me thoughtfully. “Unless, of course, you piss me off again. Having a few blackmail shots might actually be a good idea. Hmm, I’ll have to give that some thought.”

When he put the phone back on his nightstand, he accidentally knocked the jar of caramel on his pillow. He was just reaching for it when I called out his name.

“Laurie,” I whined. “The whipped cream is starting to melt and it’s dripping down into places that I’m pretty sure you won’t want to lick clean.”

Laurie waggled his brows and licked his lips. “Don’t be so sure about that, you have no idea what I might be interested in licking.”

Before I could answer, his hands and lips were on me, the caramel forgotten for the moment as he feasted on my sugar-coated skin. Laurie slowly licked around a nipple, his tongue lapping up the different syrups and sauces before he sucked the cherry and my nipple into his mouth.

The sensation of his warm mouth sucking my nipple while that cold cherry rubbed against it made me want to grab my cock. My hand was poised over it when I remembered that it was coated with whipped cream and reluctantly dropped my hand.

Laurie pulled his lips off my nipple with a loud smack, then licked his way across my chest, slowly lapping up the syrup as he made his way to the other one.

Even though I knew what was coming, the suction and cold cherry still caught me off guard and had me jerking my hips into the empty air.

While Laurie began slowly licking down the center of my chest to suck the cherry out of my navel, I thrashed my head from side to side and humped the air harder.

“Fuck, babe. You haven’t even touched me yet and I already want to come… How long did you say you were planning to tease me?”

Laurie tilted his head to smirk at me while his tongue swirled between the dips of my abdominal muscles. “I didn’t say, but trust me—I have years of fantasies to work out on your ass.”

My cock jerked as I considered his words. “Seriously? Have you really fantasized about me? I never knew that.”

“And you never would have, because you weren’t meant to,” Laurie continued to lick as he spoke, lapping a little, then looking up to lick the sauce from around his mouth before speaking some more.

“Trust me, Dean. I’ve been jacking off to thoughts of you since I hit puberty. I never imagined it would ever be more than fantasy. Now hush, I need to get to the banana part of this sundae before the whipped cream totally melts.”

He flashed me another sassy grin, then closed his mouth over the head of my cock and sucked the cherry into his mouth. He tongued the slit at the tip and teasingly rolled the cherry around between his tongue and the head of my cock.

“Fuuuck, babe...” I moaned, thrusting up into Laurie’s mouth.

Laurie opened wider and took me in until I was pushing against the back of his throat while he swallowed the cherry. I reflexively thrust when his throat convulsed around me, and Laurie quickly pulled his mouth away as he began to gag. Tears were glazing his eyes as he panted for air and held up a finger.

“We need to work on your patience, Dean. Your Coke can cock is too thick for you to fuck my face... at least not now. Give me time to work up to that, m’kay?”

“I’m so sorr—ohhh!” I’d started to apologize, but it quickly turned into a moan when Laurie started licking and sucking the whipped cream from my nuts.

He spent several minutes worshiping my cock, taking turns between sucking on my nuts and licking up the length before swirling his tongue around my head then licking his way back down the other side.

As he slowly worked his way lower, Laurie moved to straddle my chest as he bent to lick the dripping cream from my taint and...

“HOLY SHIT!” I yelped. “That’s my asshole you’re licking,” I said unnecessarily. I mean, obviously the guy knew where his tongue was, right?

Laurie chuckled and began tonguing my hole even harder. It dawned on me, when I finally opened my eyes, that his new positioning had finally brought things within reach for me.

Curiously, I reached between his legs and gave a tentative tug to his fully erect dick. His dick was about the same size as mine, but not as thick. The last time we’d played together here in this bed, I hadn’t had a chance to hold his dick on its own or even really look at it.

The room had been dark last time, and my senses overwhelmed. But right now? I was looking and touching my fill, and enjoying it way more than I ever would have known was possible.

Laurie moaned as I gripped him, and worked his way back down to my balls and along the shaft again. He began sucking my cock in earnest while I stroked his length in rhythm with his movement.

As I watched his pucker wink at me, I realized that the next move was mine. I let go of his dick and stretched over to my nightstand where I’d been smart enough to drop a tube of lube when I’d come in to light the candles.

Laurie gasped when he heard the the tell-tale snick of the cap opening. I squirted some into my hand, and dropped the tube on the bed. After rubbing my palms together to warm it up, I carefully pressed a lubricated fingertip against his hole. Laurie wiggled against my hand.

“Go for it,” he moaned around my cock. “Stick it in there, I promise I’ll like it.”

Taking him at his word, I began pushing my finger into his tight ring of muscle. “You know,” I offered conversationally. “I’ve actually done this before with a chick. I do know what to do, I just don’t want to hurt you since you’re pregnant.”

Laurie spat out my cock and whipped his head around to glare at me. “Seriously? You’re going to talk about your past experiences while we’re being intimate? Really?”

I gulped as I realized his point. “Sorry. I wasn’t thinking... I just... didn’t want you to worry that I couldn’t do this thing.”

“The thing being: my ass?” He asked with a wry grin and shook his head. “Dean? Shut up and go back to what you were doing. Even if you don’t know what you’re doing, I do. What I can’t teach you, we’ll figure out together. Now block everyone else from your mind but me, okay? I only want us in this bed.”

I worked a second finger in while I tried to think of a way to tell him that he was definitely the only one in this bed with me, because I was incapable of thinking of anyone but him.

When I couldn’t find the words, I decided to show him through touch, since my words wouldn’t ever be enough to express the depths of my emotion for Laurie.

I glanced over at the caramel bottle that had been abandoned by his pillow, and grabbed without stopping to second-guess myself. The bottle slipped out of the grip of my lube covered palm.

It took me several times before I finally wised up and grabbed it by the sticky cap. Flipping the lid open, I held it over Laurie’s crack and drizzled it between his cheeks.

Laurie looked over his shoulder with a grin. “Now you’re getting the idea. Loosen up, babe. Let’s have some fun together.”

By the time I just about had the sticky caramel cleaned up with several long stroking licks of my tongue, I was four fingers deep inside his hole. Laurie moaned and groaned wantonly as he rocked back and forth against my hand.

“Why don’t you turn around and take me for a test drive?” I suggested.

Laurie gave one last long sucking pull on my cock, sucking hard enough to make my toes curl before he released me with an audible pop and spun around to face me.

I stared up at him in wonder, my brain short-circuiting from this obscene amount of pleasure. “When did sex get this good?”

“When you decided to start having it with me,” Laurie smirked as he lifted up on his knees while reaching back with one hand to guide me toward his entrance.

Even though I knew what was coming, nothing could have prepared me for the tight heat of his silky channel. I gasped aloud as he slowly lowered himself onto my cock. My hands desperately reached for his, weaving our fingers together and gripping tightly as I bit my lip and fought to maintain control while I waited for him to fucking move before I blew my nut early.

As if he’d read my mind—or more likely my body language—Laurie started rocking his hips in a circle while he somehow moved back and forth and up and down at the same time.

“H-how are you doing that?” I stuttered in confusion as Laurie continued to take charge and rock my world. Releasing my hands, he reached for my nipples and gave them a firm pinch as he began to move faster—and bounce harder.

Despite the fireworks going off in my head or the liquid mercury flowing through my veins, I couldn’t take my eyes off of his beautiful belly. I reached out and rested my hands on either side of it, holding it firmly in my palms and stroking my thumbs across its top curve while Laurie continued to bounce up and down like he was riding a wild stallion—or rodeo bull—I mean, either one worked, given how tight and swollen my nuts were at this point.

“Are you ready?” Laurie panted out. “Because I’m close—if you reach down to give me a couple friendly tugs, that’ll push me over the edge, m’kay?”

I couldn’t get over his ability to even form coherent sentences at this point, but I moved my right hand down over the swell of his stomach to grasp his dick in my fist.

As advertised, it only took a couple tugs before his face twisted into a grimace of concentration, before relaxing and almost melting into a smile of sheer bliss.

As soon as Laurie began to cum, his channel clenched around my cock until I was practically being strangled by those silky walls. “Nggh, yesss…” I groaned as I joined him and began shooting ropes of cum inside of that heated space.

Laurie flopped bonelessly against my chest, his cheek laying in a mixture of leftover sundae sauces and his own cum. He lay there panting, while my cock twitched inside of him as my balls finally emptied their load.

Several minutes went by while we caught our breath, until I finally rediscovered words.

“Few things... One, I could look at your ecstasy face all day long and not get bored. Two, I can’t wait to do that again. And three—how the hell did I go my entire life without knowing how much fun sex could be? Oh, and four… I’m pretty sure that your cheek is probably covered with splooge right now.”

Laurie giggled. “Wow, that’s a lot to unpack. Let me start with this…” He lifted his head and swirled his finger over his cheek, scooping up as much as he could before licking it clean.

“Yummy. That was a good mix of caramel, chocolate, strawberry, a hint of cherry and, of course, let’s not forget eau de Laurence. Pretty good mixture, here—try some.”

Before I could react, Laurie pushed up on his hands and knees and kissed me. As his tongue pushed through my lips, he fed me some of the cream that he’d cleaned from his cheek. He was giggling as he pulled back, and looked at me expectantly.

“So, what did you think of your first taste of cum?”

I smacked my lips together, and raised a brow. “Well, I’m gonna go on a limb here and guess that it doesn’t always taste like caramel?”

Laurie started giggling harder, then sat up suddenly as his stomach began to growl. “You wouldn’t think so, but taste depends on what you eat. Which reminds me, prepare to start loving pineapple, you’ll be eating a lot of it. Fuck, why are we talking about food? Now I’m hungry. I wonder if we have any ice cream left?”

The breath rushed out of my lungs as I started to panic. “Ice cream! Shit! I had an I’m sorry I was an idiot gift for you when I got here, and it’s probably melted all to hell down in my truck right now.”

Laurie tilted his head to the side. “Tell me, what does an I’m sorry I was an idiot gift consist of?”

“According to my grandmother? Your favorite ice cream, a pound of fudge, and a bouquet of flowers.”

“Roses, I would hope,” Laurie said with his eyes narrowed slightly, as if contemplating whether or not my gift would be worthy.

“Naturally. What kind of an idiot do you think I am?”

Laurie started crawling off the bed. “The kind who gets me an awesome gift and forgets it in his truck. Now come on, we can shower later. Let’s go see if at least my flowers can be salvaged while you clean your upholstery before it’s completely ruined.”

Ten minutes later, we’d tossed our clothes back on and were standing beside the open passenger door of my truck with the overwhelmingly sweet scent of chocolatey, sugary goodness wafting out at us like a brand-new air freshener.

Laurie was giggling, while I stared dejectedly at the melted puddle of fudgy ice cream goo that was spread over my seat. Given the heat of the Indian-summer afternoon, the food had not only melted, but the ice cream container had tipped over and seeped right through the plastic bag, along with the liquid fudge mess.

Laurie pointed at the wilted bouquet that was lying in the floorboard. “Are those my roses?”

“Of course. I mean, I’m pretty sure that I didn’t buy them for myself.” I answered sarcastically. I raked a hand through my hair and huffed out a breath of frustration. “Well, at least my seats are vinyl. I should be able to clean this up, right?”

“Yeah, but make sure you don’t half-ass it. You’re gonna want to make sure that you get it out of the seat belt buckles and clean really good down in the crack of the seat, otherwise that sugar will get hard and that buckle mechanism will never work right. Ew, and you’ll get ants in your seats, and don’t nobody want that shit.”

“Good point,” I said with a soft sigh. I reached down and grabbed the roses, then passed them to Laurie with an embarrassed smile. “Here, I promise the next ones I get you won’t be forgotten in the car.”

Laurie leaned forward and kissed my cheek. “Not your fault, Dean. They got left behind because you came to my rescue from the Ice Queen. All is forgiven when you come riding in like a knight like you did. Now you go ahead and get this car cleaned up, I’m gonna go inside and see if I can’t revive these poor things.”

I watched him walk away, then turned back to the mess in my truck. Oh, well. I had zero doubts as to whether or not Laurie would be able to revive his flowers—the man was a genius with a magic touch when it came to living things. Those flowers would probably be perking up before I was halfway done here. Fighting back a sigh, I got busy—this mess wasn’t going to clean itself.