“Here you go, honeybun. A virgin mimosa… Or, as the plebeians like to call it, orange juice.” I chuckled at Kade and patted the couch beside me.

“Here, sit down before another one of those annoying women from town who want to feel my baby kick rushes in to fill the gap that Granny left when she went to go cut the cake.”

Kade shuddered as he gingerly lowered himself onto the couch beside me. I gulped at the orange juice, all but chugging it in one swallow. I wiped my mouth with the back of my arm and burped indelicately before grinning over at Kade.

“I probably shouldn’t have downed that entire glass. Now I’m gonna have to go to the bathroom again soon, and I’m not all that positive that I can get off this couch again.”

“I know, right? Granny’s furniture is hella comfy, but it’s definitely not made for the super pregnant. Listen, say the word and I’ll whisk you away from this silly baby shower whenever you want,” Kade flashed me a wink before taking a discrete sip of his mimosa.

“Kade, you’re the one that planned this silly baby shower—so don’t give me that shit. Did I thank you, by the way? This was really nice of you.”

He blushed slightly as he shook his head. “It was no trouble. When you said that you’d never had a baby shower with any of your other kids, I had no choice.”

Kade looked around, before lowering his voice and speaking more dramatically as he pretended to twirl the end of an imaginary mustache. “Every new parent is supposed to suffer through one of these shindigs at least once, mwahaha.”

“You don’t fool me, Kade MacIntosh. All of this pastel purple decor? Come on, you put planning into this—you even filled that empty baby bottle with M&Ms that are dyed the exact shade of purple that you used in the decorations. And how many games have we played today?”

Kade laughed. “Yeah, but you gotta admit that was pretty funny when I made everyone stick a balloon under their shirt and try to walk with a golf ball between their legs to see if they could match your waddle. Thanks for being a sport about that one.”

He giggled and added another example. “Oh, yeah, and we can’t forget the whole measure a length of toilet paper to see if it would reach around your belly game–I wasn’t sure if you’d punch me for that one.”

I smirked as I leaned back on the couch a little, rubbing a hand over my belly where the baby was starting to kick.

The sugary influx of the orange juice had probably revved the poor thing’s engines so that I’d be feeling them kick for a while. Glancing over at Kade, I stuck my tongue out at him.

“Don’t worry, your day will come—and when it does, I’ll be the one planning your shower. And like I always tell your brother? Payback’s a bitch, and so am I.”

“Yeah, yeah... don’t hold your breath. I don’t plan on ever having one of those—holy mother of all things holy! What the fuck is happening under your shirt?” Kade got distracted mid-thought when the baby started kicking.

“When I had that orange juice, I forgot that it usually wakes them up,” I explained. “They will probably be kicking for a while.”

“They? Are you having twins and forgot to tell me? Because that would’ve made a difference in the shower planning.” Kade leaned closer while he peered curiously at my stomach.

“No, there’s only one in there. The ultrasound showed that much. But since we didn’t want to know the gender, I’m using the non-binary, genderless descriptors of they and them until we know what gender they present as at birth.”

Kade nodded with understanding, then paled as he pointed a trembling finger at my stomach. “Dude, this is not okay. Is that a fucking foot right now? Please, tell me that I’m hallucinating this, because that is some serious alien-level shit right there.”

I reached down and lovingly traced my finger around the perfect imprint of my baby’s foot where it was pushing against my shirt. “It’s not alien or weird, it’s science. The baby only has so much room to move around in there, you know? And when they kick hard enough against my stomach, sometimes you can see the outline of their hand or foot.”

Kade picked up his glass and drained it, before standing and pointing to the bar area. “Save my seat. And if any of these bitches try to snatch it or hassle you, tell them that I’ll be right back. But... I’m sorry, bro. I need some more alcohol in me if I’m gonna deal with you and your alien spawn trying to push its way out through your stomach.”

“You know he’s full of shit, right?” Tanya laughed as she pulled up a chair to sit on the other side of me. “That boy totally wants kids of his own. Just look at how good he is with all those students at the dance studio. He’s given up on love, that’s all.”

“Do you think so?” I asked curiously. “He was pretty freaked out when he saw the baby’s foot pushing against my stomach.”

Tanya laughed. “Then for his sake, I hope the baby moves before he gets back.” She nodded at my stomach where a round bulge was now poking out on the left side like a growth.

“That’s the head,” I laughed.

Kade came walking back right then. He took one look at my stomach, and spun on his heel, walking away muttering under his breath while Tanya and I laughed.

Granny plopped down beside me. “My grandson said that I could steal his spot, what do you say we open some gifts? I’m sure that you probably would like to get home before too much longer anyway. Lands sake, but do I ever remember how tired I got when I was at this stage of my pregnancy,” she said as she handed me a brightly-wrapped gift.

Grandma Dot tapped a spoon against the rim of her glass from across the room. “Okay, everyone settle down. While Kade serves up everyone’s cake, we’re going to let our Laurie open the baby gifts.” She walked over and handed a notepad and pen to Tanya. “Here, honey. You make a list for Laurie, okay? He’ll want to know who to thank later.”

Tanya immediately sprang to obey. I bit back a smile as I watched while she wrote down her grandmothers’ names and waited expectantly for me to open the gift. It felt like a shame to tear off the beautiful ribbon, but Granny urged me on.

“Come on, boy. It’s only meant to look pretty until it’s opened–after that, who cares about the damn bow? Rip that off and let’s show everybody what you got.”

Tanya and I shared a grin, as I did exactly what Granny said and ripped into the package. Pulling off the lid, I found the cutest knit hat that had obviously been handmade by Granny.

Fashioned out of pastel shades of blue and green, the hat was made to look like the face of a sleeping owl. Beneath the hat were matching booties, and a variety of onesies in different shades of blue and green.

I turned to Granny and awkwardly hugged her as well as I could with my nearly eight-months-pregnant belly and her own fluffy one. “This is the most clever hat that I’ve ever seen, Granny Libby. That must’ve taken you a lot of time to make! I mean, the detail is amazing.”

Granny waved a hand to pooh-pooh me. “No, don’t be silly. It took me longer to decide on the colors than it did to actually make the hat. I knocked that out in a weekend—at least, that’s what it felt like.”

“More like a couple weekends, dear,” Grandma Dot corrected gently. “You always underestimate how long these projects are going to take, but I have to admit—that hat is one of the most adorable things I’ve ever seen you make.”

The next half hour went by in a blur of paper and ribbons flying and me posing for pictures with different baby clothing gifts stretched across my chest. By the time I was done, I had enough diapers, bottles, clothes, and toys to cover probably the first year of this child’s life, give or take a few months. Plus, I was probably underestimating the diapers. I always forgot how many diapers babies went through until I was in the thick of it.

After the gifts had been boxed up for me and I had eaten my third serving of cake, I was fighting to keep my eyelids open. Granny was right, this stage of pregnancy was exhausting.

“Do you think Dean and the kids are back yet?” Tanya asked as she helped me up from the couch.

“Hey, I forgot to ask about that. Where did Dean and Zeke take the kids today? I feel like my brothers should’ve at least made an appearance at my party—I mean, your party.” Kade said as he came walking over with the big bottle of M&Ms in hand. He passed it to Tanya with a flourishing bow. “Your prize, Madame. You were the one to guess the closest to how many candies are in the bottle.”

“Oh, really? Yay! Now tell me, I guessed five thousand, seven hundred and ninety-one, how close was I?” Tanya raised the bottle and peered at it curiously as she spoke.

“Fuck if I know, but nobody else guessed above fifteen hundred, and I lost count after a thousand when I was filling it. And I wasn’t even at the halfway point at the time.” Kade rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to me. “So, Laurie. I didn’t give you a chance to answer my question, where are my brothers and the kids today?”

“Dean and Zeke took the three kids out to my Gramps’ favorite fishing hole. He said it was time for them to learn how to fish, and Zeke went along to take pictures and laugh at his brother’s stupidity, or so he said,” I ended with a laugh.

Kade’s eyes widened. “I hope Zeke got the best pictures, and that they were smart enough to make sure that Chris didn’t get his cast wet. But, damn. Dean was definitely not thinking straight if he took three kids to that pond. Especially outnumbered like that? Crap! I mean, what happens if all three of the kids fell in, and there’s only the two of them to fish them out?” Kade jumped when a hand came out of nowhere to smack him upside the back of his head.

Grandma Dot shook her head at Kade before turning her attention to me. “Ignore my idiot grandson, Laurie. Your children are fine, and I guarantee you that my grandsons did not let any of those angels drown. Now, why don’t you and Tanya get back to the farm so that you can take a nap before you have your hands full of children again?”

I almost lost my balance as Kade rushed at me for a hug. “Oh, honey bun! I wasn’t thinking when I made that lame joke about the kids falling into the pond, Grandma’s right—I am an idiot.”

Chuckling, I reached up and ruffled his hair. “You’re fine, now watch out. I was stuck on that couch for a while and I need to get to the bathroom before I embarrass myself.”

As I made my way down the hall to the bathroom, it occurred to me that I was walking almost exactly like the people playing the game had been earlier in the party when they’d had to parade around with a golf ball between their thighs and the balloon under their shirt. This belly did not make for graceful walking, that’s for sure.