Somehow, Edward had no clue quite how, Greg had got the time off work. And since then, the week had flown by in a whirlwind of suitcases, bottles of suntan lotion, and phone calls. It turned out that the resort program was not based in one location, but that it varied depending on the week. And their week was to be held in the outskirts of some small tourist town in Huelva, Spain. Not that Edward was complaining. He wanted nothing more than to fly over there and leave his troubles behind him.

Just leaving the house behind was a breath of fresh air. He and Greg took a taxi to the airport, so as not to worry about traffic or parking on the way there. Edward sighed a sigh of peaceful relief. “Well, here we go. No more house, no more work, no more kids. For one week it's all about us.”

Greg nodded. “Yeah... all about us.”

“You okay?” Edward asked.

“I kinda miss the kids already,” Greg replied.

“Miss them? Now?” Edward shook his head. So Greg could spend a week away at work and everything would be fine, but a week of actually relaxing and the first thing he thought of as the taxi carried them away was how much he would miss the kids.

Greg shrugged. “I do though. I'm worried about them.”

“They'll be fine,” Edward insisted, gripping Greg's hand to reassure him. “They have Mommy to look after them.”

“But not you. Promise we'll call every day to make sure she's doing a good job?” Greg asked.

“What? No.” Edward sighed a little. “I love the kids too, but this... this was meant to be about us and I... I would like it to stay that way. The kids will survive just fine without me to rinse their cereal bowls in the morning.”

Greg nodded. “I suppose so.”

“At least you aren't just thinking about work first thing,” Edward said. “I suppose I ought to be grateful you can leave that behind.”

Greg nodded again, but he looked a little uncomfortable. No... Edward told himself he was imagining things again. Just like when he called that private investigator. Greg wasn't looking odd, he was just tired, stressed, and worried for the kids. Edward drew a deep breath. It was precisely to get away from these worries that they needed this holiday.

“So, what can you tell me about the resort?” Greg asked.

Edward shrugged. “Well, loads of my friends recommended it. And most sites have great pools and a good stretch of beach. There are couples classes of all sorts, to help us grow close to one another. And it's basically one huge open bar, which sounds awesome.”

“You sure you know what we're getting into? Cause you sounded a bit like a brochure and I'm not very confident in True Love Resorts right now,” Greg replied.

Edward shrugged again. “It works, it'll be fun. Where's your sense of adventure? Remember all we used to do together?”

Greg nodded. “Sure do. I suppose you're right. We hiked up the side of a sheer cliff without climbing gear. I think we can handle a minimally planned all-inclusive resort. In fact, we need to sneak out some time. Actually explore.”

Edward smiled and shuffled closer to Greg. This was perfect. They were barely five minutes down the road from home and Greg was already relaxing and becoming more like the happy, adventurous man he used to be. Now the only hope was that Edward would find himself again, and everything would be solved.

***

At the airport, just before he turned his phone off, he made the mistake of opening his emails. Again, the messages were there. Seven this time, from the night before. Some from new accounts, some from the same few that kept sending messages. Always the same stuff.

“Greg is cheating on your fat ass.”

“Get out now.”

“He can do so much better, I don't get why he hasn't left you yet.”

“It's not worth it, just give up.”

Edward felt himself on the brink of crying but held back the tears. If he cried he would have to explain it to Greg. And he wasn't sure he could. Sure, the private investigation had come up empty. But... it was like those messengers were in his head. They knew his insecurities and attacked them mercilessly. He didn't expect Greg to understand.

Greg had always insisted that words were not painful. He had always been the rough and tough type of guy who could hear anything and spit it back without even seeming to think it over, never mind let it get to him.

Edward couldn't tell Greg he was being harassed online. That it was upsetting him. That he believed it. He couldn't bear to admit it.

He quietly deleted the emails and turned his phone off. The beach... think of the beach...

***

The beach was beautiful. After landing at the airport and a long taxi drive down to the camping site where the resort was based, they had abandoned their luggage in their room and went straight to check out the beach.

The sand was golden and still warm from the day. A gentle breeze drifted from the Atlantic Ocean up and over them, all the way back to the dunes behind them. The sun, slowly setting, lit up huge glowing pink stripes in the vast ocean. And there was a blissful silence except for the sound of the waves lapping at the beach.

“It's perfect,” Edward said.

Greg nodded. “Yeah, we're definitely going to need to sneak out here a bit when we are free of classes or whatever it is we're supposed to do here. When does all that begin, anyway?”

Edward shrugged and took Greg's hand in his. “I dunno, some sort of introduction tonight for everyone joining them. It's at dinner.”

“So a surefire way of not missing it. Cool. Let's stay here until dinner,” Greg said, sitting down. The weight of Greg's body pulled on Edward's arm, forcing him to sit down too before he knew what was happening.

Edward moved in closer to Greg. He really was a beautiful man. So strong, such a wonderfully chiseled body, such a sharp jaw line, such an intoxicating scent. He leaned in and brushed his lips gently against Greg's cheek. “Let's do it right here.”

Greg paused. “We've done that though. The sand goes everywhere. And besides, I haven't got lube on me.”

“Well, use my mouth, then,” Edward replied, slipping a hand down to lightly cup Greg's crotch. “I need you.”

Greg shook his head. “I have jet lag anyway... Are you really that horny?” he asked.

Edward blushed and nodded. “Sorry, I didn't mean to be demanding, I-”

Greg leaned in and kissed Edward. He gently tugged at his husband's lower lip, sucking it between his teeth, then probed Edward's mouth with his tongue. Edward sighed. Perfect. So perfect. He resumed stroking Greg's crotch, feeling him grow hard under his clothes.

Edward broke the kiss and leaned over Greg's lap, unleashing his hard cock from his boxers. Edward inhaled sharply in surprise, seeing how hard Greg had got in so little time. This was perfect. He licked the tip and savored the taste. The thrill that they could possibly be caught added to the excitement. As did the knowledge that he was being used for pleasure again, that he was only a toy to be fucked and—

Edward sat bolt upright and shook his head. The thoughts were back. Again. The messages came flooding back to his memory and hijacked his thoughts, invading, letting him know he was worthless, useless, undeserving... The same urge to cry began to build back up inside him. This wasn't supposed to happen. They weren't supposed to happen here. He had left all that behind him in the U.S. He felt a tear in his eye again.

“Are you okay?” Greg asked.

Edward shook his head and pressed his face into Greg's chest.

“Please, tell me what's wrong,” Greg carried on.

Edward shook his head some more and hugged Greg tightly.

What the fuck was wrong with him? Couldn't he just have one nice, friendly, romantic, tender sexual encounter with his own husband? Couldn't he just enjoy the intimacy without immediately turning to thoughts of how worthless he was? It was wrong. It was all wrong. He wasn't here to hate himself.

He buried his face in Greg's chest and cried.

***

Although Greg had asked several times for Edward to tell him what had happened, Edward had resisted. How could he understand? Greg didn't know what it was like. It would just make him sad too. He had just cried a while, and then insisted he was better so that they could head back for dinner.

Sitting at the table, it was undeniable that the resort was pretty romantic. There were no group tables, only tables for couples, and each table was just far away enough from the adjacent ones that each couple could talk in privacy. The size and shape of each table was perfect for holding hands or brushing feet. The whole room was illuminated by the flicker of artificial candle light from the most flattering angles possible, and there were flowers and bottles of wine on every table. It was basically a romantic film come to life.

As Edward sipped wine and wondered whether anything could make him love himself again, a spotlight illuminated a stage at the back of the room, and a tall blond man in a suit walked up to the podium.

“Welcome to True Love Resort Huelva, a True Love Resorts site,” the instructor began. “I hope everyone is settling in well, found your rooms okay? Good, good... Now I assume you all know why you're here. We specifically discourage clients from telling their partners it's a road trip just to get them to come here.” He paused for a little laughter from the crowd. “Well, we're all here because we want to work on something. And work on it together. Maybe we are having relationship problems, are struggling with life, need personal answers... whatever you need, you're doing the right thing. You've come here to find help. And we will do our best to work with you, twenty-four seven, until these answers are found. Now, tonight we're going to begin with dinner, a little conversation, just settling in. But rest assured that from tomorrow we will begin working on the rest of our lives.”

As the crowd applauded, waiters and waitresses began serving the first course. Edward glanced at Greg, who was staring like he had just seen a UFO land. Greg turned to Edward and raised an eyebrow. Edward shrugged.

He had not expected this to be quite so cringe-worthy. It seemed very cliché. But why wouldn't it? After all, the depths of human relationships, the value of love, and how to be happy could not possibly be some magical mystery that had just been discovered. These things had to have been worked out by someone or other in the last thirty, a hundred thousand years. And they would have been repeated to unhappy people for just as long.

The issue was that not everyone accepted the message. Not everyone was able to put aside their own hang ups and questions and demands to see the bigger picture. And that was why places like the resort existed. They had probably always existed, and they would continue to exist. They would continue to spout the same clichés forever. Because people would always be unhappy, there would always be someone in need of a cliché. And right now, it was him.

“So this is basically therapy again?” Greg asked.

Edward shrugged. “I suppose. But away from home. On a nice beach in Spain. With massages. And drinks included.”

“I see,” said Greg in a tone of voice which suggested he did not, in fact, see.

“It's about letting go,” Edward explained. “It's about actually living out the things we tell Ms. Grant we would. I mean... Have you actually thought about me returning to work? About doing less overtime? Or have you agreed to do it and then ran away from the plan as fast as you can?”

Greg shrugged a little. “It's easy to say these things. Harder to do them. I... You know how busy I am. It's fine for me to say 'Well, I'm gonna go do less work,' but then when I get there and they're on my back asking for me to do this and that, what am I supposed to do? And while I'm this busy, letting you spend all day out of the house is just out of the question.”

Edward sighed. “I know... But that's why we're here. But if we can actually live it, without any other pressures, maybe it will be easier when we get home.” Sure, Greg might think this now. But hopefully after a few days of therapy and couples classes they can begin to reach a compromise. Hopefully after living out the decisions they agree on in therapy, Greg could start to make an effort to apply Ms. Grant's requests too. Hopefully.

***

Lying on the beach, he watched Greg's rippling muscles, shining with sun lotion, as he played beach volleyball with some of their new friends. They had made quite a few new friends. Between the club event the night before, and the communal breakfast arrangement, they had already had some opportunity to socialize, well before the first therapy sessions and classes. And they had befriended another two couples in particular, who had invited them down to the beach to burn off their breakfast.

Edward had decided not to take the comment personally and instead to just stay in his t-shirt and sit back enjoying the warmth of the sun. He didn't want them to see him. The other four were so beautiful, as beautiful as Greg.

Lynn and Victor had been going to True Love resorts at least once a year for the last fifteen years. Which wasn't exactly reassuring, but which Lynn insisted was just because the resort “cleansed” their relationship troubles away and made life easier, not because it failed them. They said they knew the ins and outs of therapy and classes, and even offered to talk Edward and Greg through it, which they had politely declined.

Hans and Jules were one of several other gay couples there who were thrilled by the inclusive environment and amazing quality of the resort. They confessed that they were there in part for the therapy, in part because it was an amazing, safe vacation. Hans was definitely more talkative, despite being German originally, whereas Jules, from Britain, was a quieter man who let Hans do most of the talking.

Neither couples made Edward feel any better about the resort, or about himself. Not only were they beautiful, young people, but they were return customers. And if the resort couldn't fix relationships like those, then how could it help him?

After their breakfast had gone down, the six of them made their way to the therapy room. It was a large, open sun room with floor cushions and a few chairs arranged in a semi-circle, and a podium in the middle. It was going to be a group therapy session, where couples introduced themselves and explained their reasons for being there.

The therapy session began and Edward instantly felt uncomfortable with the couples element. Namely, that there were other couples. It was fine sharing their troubles and reasons for being there with another couple in private. It would even be fine sharing these things with the group as part of a generic activity. But the connection between a therapist and a client was sort of sacred to Edward, and he felt betrayed by the requirement to open up in front of so many strangers.

It was clear to him that Greg was uncomfortable too, especially because Greg spent so much time avoiding answering questions and generally locked in his own head. Or maybe... Maybe this wasn't working for Greg at all? Edward felt harassed by the fear that perhaps none of this would work and all this novelty, rather than bring them together like it used to, would just make them resent one another.

Edward tried to reassure himself as they made their way out of the room feeling exposed and confused. Therapy had sort of been a flop, but at least the joint massage would be nice.

Then again, a joint massage meant exposing his body to Greg and to a stranger. And the idea was apparently to build up the therapy, so they would eventually massage each other, for stress relief and to reconnect as a couple. And Edward didn't really feel up to that.

He glanced at Greg. Sure, massaging those rippling muscles would be delightful. He missed having his hands all over his husband. But... He glanced down at his own body. He did not like the idea of someone seeing that. He felt too ugly to be massaged. Too ugly to deserve physical contact and love and to de-stress.

Then again, that was why they were in therapy, wasn't it?