Violet

Men and cocktails were two of my favorite things to waste time on, and I made sure my day always had plenty of either one or the other. “Cheers.” I raised my drink and clinked it against the glasses of two of my most treasured people in the world—my sister, Scarlett, and her sister-in-law Darcy. We were at some fancy bar in SoHo where the drinks were twice the price of a car. It was Darcy’s first night in New York City, and I wasn’t going to worry about how I was going to pay for anything tonight when I had no job to go to tomorrow. I adored her and didn’t get to see her as often as I’d like as she lived in England, so I was all about the positive. Maybe I could get her laid as a welcome gift? Sex always put me in a good mood. I was certainly going to find someone to go home with. I needed to forget what a terrible week I’d had, and I wasn’t sure just one of my favorite things was going to be enough. It was going to take alcohol and a man.

“Is there anyone special in England at the moment?” Scarlett asked Darcy. “Someone to sweep you off your feet?”

I groaned. “She’s not Cinderella. She’s a capable, confident woman who needs no sweeping. The question you should be asking is whether or not she’s had any good sex lately.”

“I’m not saying she’s not capable and confident, but a knight in shining armor is always a good thing,” Scarlett replied.

“I wish I had sisters,” Darcy said, grinning at the two of us.

Scarlett and I bickered because we were opposites. She was married for a second time. I had no desire to tie myself down to one man. Scarlett had a successful career whereas I couldn’t even keep a waitressing job. She had two kids and I wasn’t allowed a cat.

She was going to kill me when she found out I’d been fired.

But she was my sister and I loved her.

“It’s the best,” Scarlett said, “though I wish she’d listen to me a little more often.”

“You just need to accept that not everyone wants the house in Connecticut with the perfect husband and two perfect but very loud children.” I glanced around the room. What I wanted was ferocious sex with someone who could make me forget about what was or wasn’t going to happen tomorrow. But no one had caught my eye so far.

“I just want you to be happy,” Scarlett said, tilting her head to the side.

“Well that makes two of us.” The last thing I needed was my sister’s pity. Especially today. “Anyway, what are you going to do while you’re in New York?” I asked Darcy. “I can come on the tourist trail with you if you’d like.”

“Don’t you have work?” Scarlett asked.

The problem with being close with my sister was that as much as we might be dissimilar, we couldn’t hide things from each other.

“Sure, but I can fit my shifts around Darcy. I want you to have a good time.” I took another sip of my cocktail, avoiding my sister’s burning gaze.

“Oh, Violet. You didn’t quit your job again, did you?”

From the corner of my eye, I caught the sag of Scarlett’s shoulders and the bow of her head.

“Not exactly,” I said.

I didn’t want to see that look of disappointment in her eyes. Couldn’t she just accept that I wasn’t interested in a highflying career? Life had taught me more than once that the moment was to be enjoyed and that tomorrow could be figured out when it arrived.

“Not exactly?” she asked. “I thought you liked the girls at that place?”

“I did.” The other waitresses had been a lot of fun and the tips had been amazing. “But I don’t think I should put up with it when my ass gets grabbed at work.”

“Who grabbed your arse?” Darcy asked.

“This regular we have. He does it to all of us, but I don’t see why it’s okay.”

“It’s totally not okay. So you quit?” Scarlett asked.

“No, I called him a sleazy prick and I got fired,” I explained, ready to move on. I’d dealt with enough assholes in my time—I didn’t want to waste any time thinking about them. “Hopefully it will mean he’ll lay off the other waitresses. At least for a while.”

I’d discovered that the way not to be disappointed in life was to have few expectations and the easiest way to keep expectations to a minimum was not to get too involved. It didn’t matter if it was a job or a man—I didn’t keep either long enough to emotionally invest, and that meant I could walk away from either without it hurting. Losing a job wasn’t a problem—I was over it the moment I left. Not having any money was more of an issue.

Scarlett sighed. “It’s not like you to lose your temper like that. I totally know he shouldn’t be grabbing anyone’s ass but . . .”

“You expected me to suck it up?”

“Absolutely not. I’m just saying it’s not like you to lose it. I’m worried about you. Is this about the news yesterday?”

“News?” I asked, feigning ignorance. I was a terrible liar. The worst. But the last thing I wanted to do was discuss my ex-boyfriend and the fact that yesterday’s business pages had announced he was taking the company we’d founded together public.

This was exactly the conversation I’d been avoiding.

“Are you upset?” Scarlett asked, clearly knowing I was full of shit.

“Not at all. You know I’m totally over it—it was years ago.” It had been almost four years since I’d been betrayed by my college boyfriend and had the company I’d worked so hard to build taken from me. “I’ve told you before, life is good.”

I’d genuinely thought I was over it. But yesterday’s news had been a shock and brought back a lot of emotions. I enjoyed my life—most of the time. I had an amazing family, good friends, and I didn’t have to worry, make difficult decisions, or do any of the stressful stuff that came with running your own business. I just didn’t have the life I’d thought I’d end up with. I’d expected to be in the photograph alongside David. We’d be married—maybe with a kid or two—a tech power couple. Instead he was standing with his new wife, months away from winning the IPO lottery, and I was a waitress.

Scarlett reached across the table and squeezed my hand. “I think it’s great you’re happy. But honestly, sometimes it’s good to have a plan, mix things up a bit. Isn’t that right, Darcy?”

It was a low blow bringing Darcy into this conversation. She didn’t know how loaded the question was.

“I love to plan,” Darcy said. “I’m slowly increasing profits of the estate. We’re looking at a fifteen percent jump over the next three years. If that happens, I want to open a farm shop, selling local produce. Also, I want to adopt a kid before I hit thirty-five. Oh, and if a knight in shining armor shows up, I don’t need to be swept off my feet, but if he wants to take me to dinner and give me a foot rub then I’m not going to say no. Business, kid, foot rub. In that order.”

I laughed at her to-do list. Darcy always seemed so happy-go-lucky, but now I thought about it, running her country estate must take a lot of planning and skills. And she was obviously good at it.

“Have you thought about going back to school?” Scarlett asked me.

“Are you serious? School?” I had so many bad memories intertwined with my college experience that repeating it was the last thing I would consider. David and I had met as sophomores and stayed together four years. We’d been lovers, business partners, and now strangers.

“I mean, if you’re not sure what you want to do. And now that you don’t have a job or a plan it might be the perfect place to figure stuff out,” Scarlett said.

“Why give up today to make tomorrow better when you don’t know if you’ll live to see it?” Having my business taken from me when I’d spent so much time and effort building it into something I’d been so proud of had been devastating. I was determined not to repeat that mistake. I’d sacrificed so much of my early twenties for . . . nothing. The past few years I’d been trying to get that time back—partying, living life in the moment, dating lots of guys.

“That’s a little depressing,” Darcy said.

“It’s just the opposite,” I replied. “I don’t waste all that time planning for things that might never happen. I don’t have a rainy-day fund, so I don’t have to spend time planning for a rainy day—that’s what’s depressing. Better to enjoy the sunshine.”

“And when the rain falls?”

I was pretty sure getting fired qualified as a rainy day and I was still having fun—now I was with Darcy and Scarlett. “I find a hot guy and have some wild sex until the clouds pass.”

Scarlett shook her head. “What are you going to do about a job?”

“I have no idea. Get another, I guess.” I had about three hundred dollars to my name, which wasn’t even half what I needed if I wanted to renew my lease next month. The problem was, waitressing was getting old. I was growing tired of the drinks after work and the making up for lost time. I just didn’t know what else I could do. I might have a computer science degree and a couple of years’ experience at running a start-up, but the last few years had qualified me for nothing other than being able to memorize the specials and carry three dishes at a time.

“Why don’t you come back to England with me?” Darcy said. “You don’t have to be out with me in the country. You could stay at the London house and wait for the clouds to pass for a couple of months. You never know, the city might inspire you to find your passion.”

I’d never been to Darcy and Scarlett’s husband’s London house, but Scarlett had told me it was like something out of a Jane Austen novel.

London could be fun, but there was no way I could afford to go.

“That’s so nice of you but . . .”

“The place is totally empty and it’s right in the center of things,” Darcy said.

I glanced at Scarlett, waiting for her to interject and tell Darcy it was a crazy idea and that I needed to buckle down and find another job, but she just stared straight back at me, waiting for my answer.

“I can’t. I have my apartment and I need to start job hunting. But thank you.”

“Didn’t you say that your lease was coming up for renewal anyway?” Scarlett asked. Was she on board with me just abandoning New York?

“You were all for me going to college five seconds ago.”

“I just think a change would be good for you. Maybe London is what you need—a few weeks to reassess what you want from your life. Since the start-up you’ve . . . With this IPO coming up in a few months, a break from New York might be good.”

“I’m happy, Scarlett.” I really didn’t want to talk about my ex. “Surely, that’s the most important thing?”

Scarlett smiled reluctantly. “I hope so. Because that’s what I want for you above anything else.”

My heart tugged in my chest. I hated that my sister worried about me. Most of the time she was completely overreacting, but today she’d caught me at a weak moment. The news about David had been a shock. It was a reminder of what my life could have been and had brought into focus everything my life wasn’t. I was feeling less than happy. I just didn’t know how to make it any better.

“I think you’re more cut up about David and this IPO than you’re admitting,” Scarlett said. “And I’m not surprised. I would be too. What happened was awful. He betrayed you and worse he got away with it. You had every right to take a time-out. It was perfectly natural. But it’s been four years and I miss my bold, go-getting sister who was ready to take on the world. I feel like he stole her, and I want her back.”

A tide of emotions passed over me at my sister’s words—I didn’t know whether to throw up or cry. I’d worked hard not to repeat the same mistakes I’d made with David and my business by not getting emotionally invested in anything, but something was missing. As much as I hated to admit it, Scarlett was right: part of who I used to be, a good part, had disappeared. I closed my eyes and exhaled, trying to stop myself from breaking down in tears in public. Once I had been the girl who was ready to take on the world. I wanted that person back too.

My sister’s hand covered mine and I looked at her. “I love you,” I said.

“I love you too, but don’t get soppy on me. You have to get over this guy and what he did to you, but you seem stuck,” Scarlett said.

I was over him, wasn’t I? We lived in the same city, but I’d deliberately made sure we occupied different worlds. It wasn’t as if I was pining for him, but Scarlett was right—I did feel stuck.

“Please consider going to London,” Scarlett said. “That way you’re not in New York when this whole IPO thing happens, and you can just get some inspiration, get unstuck, and figure out what you want to do when you grow up.” She grinned, always happy when she was reminding me she was older than me.

“If you’ve got nothing keeping you in New York, why not come over for a few weeks, even a few months? It could be a way of pressing the reset button,” Darcy said.

“You are always saying how you want to live moment to moment,” Scarlett said. “Except every moment seems a lot like the last. Why not live a few of your moments in London? You can come back reinvented. Violet King 2 point O.”

I hated it, but Scarlett had a point. The last twelve months, bouncing from waitressing job to waitressing job, hadn’t been fun, however much I tried to insist otherwise. I’d had to change the plan on my cell to the basic, and I’d eaten a lot of toast. I needed a change but going abroad hadn’t even occurred to me. Would going to London really press the reset button? Provide inspiration? Create a Violet ready to take on the world?

“Ryder’s coming back with me, so obviously he’s insisting we take a private plane. You wouldn’t even have to worry about booking a ticket.”

I chuckled. There was a whole world out there I really didn’t understand. Private planes were at the top of the list. But if I didn’t have to spend my last few hundred dollars, and some borrowed ones, on a plane ticket, the list of reasons why I shouldn’t go to London was running short.

“London, huh?”

Darcy squealed. “Yes! And you can come up to the country on weekends to see me.”

“I’d need to get a job out there,” I said, thinking out loud. My three hundred bucks wasn’t going to get me far even if I wasn’t paying rent.

“Restaurants are two a penny in London. You’d walk into a job,” Darcy said.

I wrinkled my nose. “Honestly, I might look for something different. Like Scarlett says, switch things up a little.” I avoided looking at my sister. No doubt she was wearing her I-told-you-so grin.

“Well, let me speak to a few family friends and see what I can do,” Darcy said. “There might be someone looking for something.”

“Are you sure? You letting me stay at the house is so generous and—”

Darcy lifted her palm to face me. “Don’t mention it. I can’t promise anything, but I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thank you.” I grinned and nodded slowly; maybe a change of scenery was exactly what I needed. If nothing else, the men there had an accent. And judging by the guys in this bar, I had to find a new hunting ground. I might even be able to start thinking about my future for the first time in a long time.