In-Lap – This is considered a lap where a driver makes a pre-arranged pit stop during the race or practice. Drivers push hard to drive fast in order to gain time during the pit stop.
On September 9, 2005, thirty-four weeks and four days later... what we hoped wouldn’t happen, happened—Alley and I went into labor at the same time.
Aside from Aiden, Spencer, and Jameson, most of us were up in Alger, Washington, at the Skagit World of Outlaws race. It was a two-night feature—hot as hell—and we’d finally made it to the final night.
Jameson and his Cup team were in Richmond for the NASCAR race. Managing a sprint car team, a track, and racing full-time in the cup series was wearing on Jameson this year.
We hadn’t seen each other in about two weeks and frankly, I missed my dirty heathen, as did Axel. He had this way about him that if he hadn’t seen him for a few days, he started to become unruly. Kind of like tonight.
“Give me that!”
“No!” Axel yelled at me.
My adorable little spaz was actually yelling at me. It never failed that any time we were at the track Axel stole parts from the hauler. Here I was, nine months pregnant, extremely uncomfortable, hot, and running around after my almost two-year-old son. If you never waddled your way around the pits of a dirt track chasing a toddler, you weren’t missing much.
“Axel, please give that wrench to Mommy.”
He shook his head. “No—mine.” He hugged it to his chest tightly. “Mine!”
I wasn’t sure where he learned the word mine, but I hated it. Everything was either “no” or “mine.”
I’d been cramping all day, which wasn’t unusual for this late in my pregnancy, but when I had to stop and steady myself against Justin’s sprint car, I began to wonder if this was going to progress to labor here shortly. Thinking this, I panicked.
Alley found me after the heat races, holding her swollen stomach. “Christ, this hurts.”
“Walking?”
“No, these cramps,”
“You’re cramping, too?”
“What?” Jimi asked as he walked past, his steps halting. His eyes did a once over on the two of us. “Did you just say you’re both cramping?” he didn’t wait for us to answer. “Listen, you can’t have these babies tonight. You just can’t.”
“That’s not really within our control, Jimi,” Alley replied and sat down in a chair Emma had gotten for her.
Just then, Lane came running past with a corn dog and Axel running after him.
He stopped in front of us. “I don’t understand, why he always take my food?”
“He likes you,” I told him, ruffling his mess of honey hair and then clutching my side.
“I like him, too, but I not steal him food.”
“His food,” I corrected him. “You don’t steal his food.”
Lane sighed, rolling his eyes and handed his corn dog over to Axel. “That’s what I said.”
Axel, bright-eyed now that he had food, sat down in the dirt to eat his battered lips and assholes as Jameson called it.
Alley and I wondered if tonight another set of Riley kids would be added to our family. This went on through most of the heat races. Alley found out she was having another boy, and well, our little one refused to let us in on the sex. Every time we tried to see on the ultrasound, the baby covered up. We had a mystery baby.
After the feature events, everyone was loading up when I really started to feel like I was in labor, and on top of that, my water broke.
At that point, I was calm. It was short-lived…
I waddled my fat ass inside Jimi’s hauler while he talked with Cody Bowman about next week’s race in Cottage Grove.
Cursing to myself when a contraction hit, I stumbled in pain and slammed my knee into a spare torsion bar lying on the floor.
“Sway.” Jimi’s eyes shot into the distance when he heard my scream. “Is that you?”
“Yes, it’s me. Who else would it be?”
“I don’t know,” Jimi replied with a shrug. Cody excused himself and walked out the side door. “What’s wrong with you?”
“I’m in labor,” I blurted out, steadying myself against the car.
“You’re what?” Jimi shot up from his chair so quickly he smacked his head on the rear end hanging on the sidewall of his hauler. “You can’t be serious! Alley and Emma just left with the car. She’s in labor.”
Where in the hell was I when that happened?
Oh yeah, I was in the bathroom feeling like shit.
When I went into labor with Axel, it wasn’t quick by any means, but I was also early. With this child, the kid took its sweet time. I was a week late, which was why Jameson wasn’t with me. We thought for sure the baby would hold off another week since my last exam showed no movement. Having hovered like a Queen Bee my entire pregnancy, it was rare that he wasn’t with me. But as luck would have it, this was the last race before the Nextel Cup Chase began, and he couldn’t be with me and needed me to be with his sprint car team.
All that being said, my labor moved quickly. So quickly, I couldn’t make it to the hospital. In turn, I was stuck here at a dirt track with Jimi, Justin, Tommy, Tyler, and Ami. Emma and Alley were at the hospital.
“Oh my God!” Tommy covered his eyes. “I can’t watch this.”
He jetted out of the hauler when a few track safety officials made their way inside the hauler.
“Men are so stupid,” Ami rolled her eyes. “Just breathe, Sway, everything will be fine.” She looked over her shoulder at Justin. “Did you call Jameson?”
“Yeah,” he held the phone up. He too looked a little nervous and ready to jet any second. “He’s on the phone.”
I quickly grabbed it from him.
“Jameson?”
Ami motioned to Axel, who was walking around collecting wrenches and shocks for his collection. “I’ll take care of him,” she mouthed and picked him up.
“Yeah, honey, it’s me,” Jameson breathed. “Are you okay?”
“No, fuck no!” I yelled. “I’m in labor at a goddamn dirt track. What about that is okay?”
“I’m on a plane right now. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
I sighed, knowing he was coming from Richmond. There was no way he’d make it, not with these cramps. “How long?”
“How long what?”
“How long before you’re here?”
“A few hours.”
I screamed out in pain as another contraction hit me hard. “You’re not going to make it in time.”
Jameson groaned. “Put my fucking dad on the phone!”
I handed the phone to Jimi, who by now was looking a little green. I went back to my pain.
“Listen,” I could hear Jameson’s voice yelling at his dad. “No looking. I mean it, no looking.”
Jimi looked offended. “It’s not like I would want to check out my daughter-in-law’s track layout, okay?” he sighed. “I have no desire to even see this shit. You should be here, not me. I’m not all right with this, Jameson. I’m just not. Get your ass here, right now!”
Track layout? I started giggling.
I heard Jameson again. “Well good. Keep it that way,” he let out a frustrated sigh. “Now keep her calm. I’m on my way.”
Ten minutes passed and I wasn’t sure why they couldn’t just transport me to the hospital. This seemed ridiculous, but it might have had something to do with the fact that every time they tried to move me from my spot on the floor of Jimi’s hauler, I screamed at them and told them to leave me alone. I kicked everyone out except for Jimi.
Jimi looked incredibly nervous and completely uncomfortable with the entire situation.
“This is horrible,” he voiced, completely uncomfortable with this entire situation.
I was almost positive Jimi felt the same as me in regards to how disgusting childbirth was.
Jameson, in not so many words told his dad he’d kill him if anything happened to me. Scaring Jimi, the only one here to help me, just didn’t seem like a good idea to me. I could’ve been wrong.
So there I was, legs spread, a tarp covering my crankcase, a Hans device supporting my neck (it was all we had in the hauler), with each one of my legs propped up on the rear tires of Jimi’s car while two safety officials assessed the situation.
“Mrs. Riley, we need to transport you, but it seems it’s progressing quickly. I think it’s best that we just stay here.”
I held up my hand. “Two things you need to know,” I told the man and woman safety officials. “I do not want the word crowning said. And, second... well, I don’t know what the second thing will be ...” I pointed at them. “Do you know what you’re doing?”
“Yes ma’am, we do.”
“This sucks,” Jimi said, pacing the hauler and biting his fingernails. “Why do I have to be in here? Why can’t Ami?”
“She’s taking care of Axel.”
“I can do that, why can’t I do that?”
“The last time you were alone with Axel... you fed him dog biscuits.”
“So... those things were delicious,” he sat down next to me, running his hands through his black hair and tugging. “I can’t do this. I really can’t. You don’t seem to understand that.”
“You’ll be fine. Just calm down,” I told him. He was really starting to freak even me out. “You have to stop stressing me out.”
“I might not make it.” He shoved a wet rag at me haphazardly, only partially paying attention.
“Sit down and stop being a pussy,” I ordered.
“If I see blood, I may pass out. Where’s that no-good husband of yours?” He once again glanced out the hauler to where Justin and Tyler were standing guard to ensure no one could come inside. “I can’t do this.”
The track official checked me one last time and said I needed to push because I was completely effaced. As it was, I had my legs clamped again in hopes Jameson magically made it across the United States in the last few minutes.
“Where the fuck is Ami?” Jimi asked again when they moved to get everything ready for me to push. “She needs to get her ass in here.”
Tuning him out, I didn’t like the way they said effacing or dilating. Along with the word crowning, those words alone were enough to send me into a panic attack.
Nothing changed from the time I progressed from a seven to a ten. Jimi was still freaking out and asking the medical staff if he could have an epidural.
“We don’t have the equipment for that sort of thing.”
“Well, that’s stupid,” Jimi balked. “What the fuck are you guys good for anyway?”
“Sir,” the female official looked up at him. “We are track safety officials, not a hospital or even an obstetrician.”
“Do you even know what you’re doing then?”
The male official looked up at Jimi. “I think we know more than you do.”
“I highly doubt that. If you did, you’d have an epidural on hand or even adrenaline.”
Jimi and the official continued to argue as I tried to push this kid out in the race car hauler surrounded by nothing sanitary. It wasn’t lost on any of us that we should have gone to the hospital, but no, I’d decided to stay put.
I screamed, as did Jimi and Tommy, who had accidentally walked in when the baby started to come out.
“Looks like it’s a girl!” the official said with a smile.
When she came out, the official handed her to him as she looked up at Jimi, his panicked expression melting to adoration.
There, in the midst of the dirt and methanol filling the crisp fall night, another Riley was added to the family.
“She’s beautiful,” Jimi said, handing her to me. I laughed that she was wrapped in his driving suit.
“Jimi,” I refused to look at him, knowing damn well what he did. “Please tell me you at least have underwear on.”
“Yeah,” he chuckled looking, toward the baby. “I decided since I didn’t want to see your track layout, you wouldn’t want to see my gear shift.”
“There’s no doubt in my mind Jameson and Spencer are your sons.”
I took one look at my daughter and started bawling. She looked identical to me, but I saw so much of my mom and Charlie, as well as Jameson, in her. She had his exact lips and hair color.
“What’s her name?” Jimi asked. With eyes rimmed with tears, I smiled.
“Jameson wanted to name her Arie Marie.”
“What?”
“Arie. Pronounced like R-E.”
“What’s with you two and naming your kids strange names?”
“You’re one to talk there, smartass. You named Jameson after whiskey.”
“I have two with normal names,” he defended, still staring at Arie.
“Yeah, I always wondered how that happened.”
He laughed, handing Arie to me.
“Nancy was sleeping when they came around with the birth certificate. I wrote the first name that came to mind.”
“Whiskey, huh?”
“Hey, it got me through the birth of him.”
“So you saw him born?”
“No, hell no... I’ve never seen a kid born... until today.”
“So this was your first?”
“Yep,” his hand rose to wipe the sweat from his forehead. “And I can’t say I want to see it again. That was horrible. I just may have nightmares. All that blood and screaming and blood,” he shivered. “I need some air.”
Everything moved quickly once she was born, and we needed to get to the hospital so Jimi, of course, drove.
Arie was tiny, but had a lot of attitude. She already had the Riley scowl down when we made it to the hospital and the nurses tried to bathe her. I couldn’t stop smiling that I had a daughter now. The only thing that marred my happiness was the fact that her father wasn’t there to see her birth, or even right now, while she was being cleaned, measured, and weighed.
Ami, who had kindly kept an eye on Axel during the labor and birth, came in holding him on her hip. When Axel came in, he looked at me with wide, happy eyes, but then he spotted the baby—who wasn’t him—in my arms... and he wasn’t thrilled.
Neither was Jameson when he finally arrived.
He rushed through the door to the room. “Did I miss it?” his eyes, just like his son’s, caught sight of the baby in my arms. “Is that...?” he rushed to my side, peeking down at her.
“Daddy, meet your daughter... Arie.”
Jameson didn’t say anything more. With a smirk I knew well, he climbed in the bed with his family and wrapped his arms around all three of us.
After a few minutes of gazing at her, he whispered against my forehead, “She’s beautiful, honey... just like her mother.”
Once again, we were lost in our tiny bubble of perfection. For a few hours at least. That was, until Spencer and Jimi came walking in, holding the other little Riley who was added to the family tonight. Alley was lucky enough to have him, with drugs, in the hospital. Although she did have Lane at a dirt track in the back of Jameson’s hauler so I assumed she understood the stress I felt.
Cole Jacob Riley, very different from Lane, was a spitting image of Spencer with his black hair and big blue eyes. He looked almost identical to him when he was a baby, so Nancy said.
“Where the hell are your clothes?” Jameson asked Jimi, who was still in his underwear, when he walked in to check on us.
“I had to wrap her up in something,” he motioned to Arie. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go talk to my sponsor about a new hauler. This is just not going to work for me any longer.”
I let the boys argue amongst themselves and got lost in my little wonders, my son and daughter. Axel seemed curious, and he kept peeking at Arie as if she wasn’t real.
“Baby?” he asked, pointing at her with his chubby little index finger.
“Yes, this is your sister, Arie.”
Axel smiled, his eyes focused on her. “Baby,” he repeated.
My fairytale just got better. Just when I thought my life was everything I wanted, Arie was brought into the world, adding to the unbelievable happiness I felt. The thing about fairytales was having faith in things that didn’t come true, and appreciating them when they did.
A tiny hand freed from the blanket and her delicate fingers curled around my pinky. I smiled down at her, so pure and innocent. I was too overcome by the child in my arms to speak. My daughter.
I was the father of a daughter now.
For months, I prepared myself for the idea of having a daughter, and my gut instinct told me Sway was carrying a girl even though the ultrasounds revealed nothing. I had no idea how to act around a girl. Even with Lexi, my niece, I never knew how to be around her. With Axel and Lane, it was easy for me. I related to them. With Arie, would I know what to do? And what happened when she got older? And dating?
Oh God, talk about fears.
I placed a soft kiss on her forehead, rocking her gently when Spencer came in holding his newborn son. “Hey,” he said softly, peering down at Arie. “She’s beautiful.”
“She is.” I glanced up at the baby in his arms. “How’s Cole?”
He smiled. “Good, he looks like me.”
We talked quietly for a little while before my fears of fathering a little girl emerged.
“Is it different with Lexi than with Lane?”
Spencer seemed to contemplate this for a moment before answering. My gaze focused on Arie when he spoke. “Having a daughter is different. I find myself easier on Lexi than Lane. Just... be prepared to give in... a lot.”
I chuckled softly, trying not to wake the babies. If this was anything like the way Sway owned my heart, as well as Axel now, I was so screwed.
Even though I was supposed to be leaving for Atlanta right now, I couldn’t force myself from this angel in my arms. Just her tiny presence relaxed me.
Thankfully, Alley was in a hospital bed and couldn’t boss me around, although she had her phone with her.
Alley: Jameson, you’re supposed to be in Atlanta right now. Tell Spencer to get his ass back in here.
“Your wife is looking for you,” I told Spencer as he reached to trade babies.
“She’ll get over it,” he cooed down at Arie. “You sure are pretty, sweetheart.”
“Look at you, big guy,” I spoke softly, cradling Cole to my chest. He was big compared to Arie. He had at least two pounds on her. Cole looked identical to Spencer when he was younger, as Lane and Lexi looked more like Alley.
Sway woke up about an hour later when Spencer choked on a fry he’d shoved in his mouth after Mom brought us food.
My phone began vibrating with calls from Kyle and Dad wondering where I was.
Sway knew I needed to leave and always knew the anxiety I felt toward this. She also knew that I didn’t want to leave.
“You have to, Jameson. It’s your job.”
“I just want to be with you guys,” I told her, looking down at our kids in her arms. “Nothing else matters right now.”
She smiled and kissed my hand that was wrapped around her cheek.
“You know I don’t hold it against you... and neither do they,” she gestured toward Axel and Arie who were both asleep. “We love you no matter what. We love you even though you have to leave when our baby girl is only hours old. We love you, Jameson.”
Kneeling next to the bed, I nodded and reached for Axel’s tiny hand. His fingers instinctively wrapped around mine as he slept. There was no doubt in my mind they loved me... but it didn’t change the fact that it hurt to leave.
An hour later, I was on the jet back to Atlanta with Spencer.
“This feels wrong,” I told Spencer, who sat next to me.
“I know what you mean,” he sighed. “We missed the birth of our children today, and now we’re leaving when they’re not even a day old.”
“You know you don’t have to do this,” I offered. “I can easily find someone to fill your place for a few weeks. You can stay with your family.”
He didn’t hesitate before looking up from his phone at me.
“I know that. But you’re my family, too. I don’t do this just because it’s a job, Jameson. I never have. I love what I do, and I love that we’re a family doing it together. Alley understands that because it’s the same reason she does it. It’s more than a job to us. It’s our way of life.”
Racing could control every aspect of your life if you let it. But the thing was, it was my life. There was no controlling it. It owned all of us. Sway understood why I needed to be in Atlanta Saturday night; it marked the end of the regular season and the chance to make it into the chase. The points between the top four were so close. I couldn’t afford to risk a back-up driver. It needed to be me in the car.
So I went to Atlanta and left my wife, my son, and my infant baby girl back home.
The sacrifices... they never got easier.