Part Two – England
Chapter Thirteen
Sofia accepted the ministrations of her new maid reluctantly. She was perfectly capable of dressing and undressing herself but she must accept this was how things were going to be in future. Falling in love with a blind man with no identity was quite different from being married to the brother of the Duke of Silchester.
'There you are, my lady, that ensemble is perfect for you. Cherry red complements your colouring. Shall I tie the bonnet ribbons or will you wait until after you have broken your fast to put it on?'
'I have eaten sufficient, Polly, so I might as well be ready to leave when the gentlemen come down.'
The bonnet was lined with the same red material that edged the gown and pelisse. Even her gloves were dyed to match – she felt quite ridiculous and longed to be able to put on the breeches and shirts that she had been wearing for the past few years.
Something occurred to her. 'Make sure the items I was wearing when I arrived have been packed.'
The girl looked shifty. 'His lordship instructed me to throw them out, my lady, and they…'
This was the outside of enough. 'You are my dresser, you will follow my instructions, do I make myself clear? If you wish to retain your position you had better remember this. Whatever you have done with them you will find them and pack them or you will be dismissed without reference.'
The girl gulped and ran off. Sofia knew she was being unfair but Perry had had no right to dispose of her personal possessions in this high-handed way. She prayed Polly would find them as she had no wish to punish her maid for her husband's sins.
There was no sign of the luxurious carriage, that bore the Silchester arms, outside so she thought she would go and look at the sea, viewing it from the land was preferable to being on it. As she was exiting the hostelry it belatedly occurred to her that she really should not be wandering about the place without an escort of some sort. Zorro, as always, was waiting to accompany her wherever she went. He had adjusted well to his new circumstances and appeared unbothered at being obliged to sleep in the stables.
Then she spotted Jenkins. He would be ideal. She waited in the doorway until he looked her way and then beckoned him over.
'Good morning, my lady, is there something I can do for you?'
'I should like to go for a walk before I am obliged to sit in a stuffy carriage for hours. I wish you to accompany me.'
He looked over her shoulder as if expecting to see Perry behind her. Then she realised he was looking for her maid. 'It's all very confusing, will I be breaking some unwritten rule if I take a walk with only you as my escort?'
He scratched his head. 'I ain't sure, but there's no one here to complain. There's a path that leads to the cliffs and I reckon we could go along there as long as we ain't too long. His grace sent word to the stables to be ready to leave in an hour.'
The walk was exactly what she wanted and she returned feeling that the brisk sea breeze had blown away her worries. They walked back into the inn's yard to see the carriage, with its two matching bays stamping impatiently in the traces, waiting to depart. There was no sign of either the duke or Perry so she got Jenkins to let down the steps and she climbed inside. The squabs were of leather and soft beneath her touch. This was luxury indeed and it might not be quite so unpleasant travelling in here after all.
She hadn't slept well despite the comfort of her bed and she dozed off ignoring the raised voices and running feet she could hear outside. Then the carriage tilted violently and Perry joined her inside.
'Have you any idea of the trouble you've caused? Dammit, Sofia, we've been searching for you this past hour. Did it not occur to you that getting into the carriage without telling anyone was a stupid thing to do?'
His abrupt arrival and furious words jerked her rudely from her sleep. He was no more than an arm's length from her, his cheeks were flushed and his eyes arctic.
She yawned in his face, stretched slowly and then deigned to answer. 'It is hardly my fault, my lord, if you are so stupid that you did not think to speak to Jenkins as to my whereabouts. I do hope you do not intend to travel inside with me for I have no wish to share this cramped space with a gentleman I no longer recognise as the man I saved from certain death a few months ago.'
His jaw tightened and she could almost hear his teeth grind as he fought to hold onto his temper. Then he retreated as suddenly as he had arrived, kicked the steps up and slammed the door.
She wished the words unsaid. He had probably been worried about her absence and had not thought to ask Jenkins. Why should he think this man would know her whereabouts? Her hands stopped shaking and she stood up intending to go in search of him and apologise.
As she did so the carriage jolted forward, she lost her footing and fell against the door, it flew open she tumbled head first onto the cobbles.
*
Perry was about to mount his horse when to his horror his wife fell from the carriage and sprawled face down on the ground. He was beside her in a second, his fury forgotten. He stiffened as Zorro snarled behind him.
'Sweetheart, stay still for a minute whilst I check you have broken no limbs.'
She stirred beneath his touch and rolled over without his assistance. 'I am perfectly well, thank you, Perry. I am merely embarrassed. Would you be so kind as to assist me to my feet?' She reached around and patted the dog who immediately relaxed.
There were dirt smudges on her cheeks, her bonnet was askew, and there were tears in her eyes. He scooped her up and as his brother approached he shook his head. 'If you are sure you are unhurt, darling girl, then allow me to replace you in the carriage. I sincerely hope you do not emerge so precipitously a second time.'
His teasing words had the desired effect as she managed a watery smile. 'You are ridiculous…'
'If you say so, my love, then I must be.' He ducked and climbed in without the benefit of the steps and twisted so he could sit whilst keeping her in his arms. The under-coachman peered nervously into the carriage and then hastily closed the door.
Perry carefully undid the ribbons of her bonnet and tossed it onto the opposite squab. Then he pulled off his gloves using his teeth and they joined the bonnet on the seat. She had remained silent and passive in his arms whilst he did so.
He rubbed the tears and dirt streaks from her face with his handkerchief. 'To continue, sweetheart, I believe that I am also stupid and ungrateful. Have I omitted anything on this list of my sins?'
She sighed and finally relaxed into his embrace. 'I am sorry that I caused you so much upset, I just went for a walk. I was angry because you had told Polly to throw away my men's garments and I needed to clear my head. Jenkins was my escort.'
He kissed her lightly and she didn't recoil, which was a good sign. 'Is that all. You must realise, Sofia, that your days of riding astride dressed like a boy have gone. I have no objection to you riding astride as long as you remain on Silchester land and do not go abroad. I am sure a garment can be constructed that will make this possible and not send shockwaves through the family.'
The carriage had trundled out of the yard and was now making slow progress through the press of other vehicles along the narrow streets of Dover. They wouldn't be stopping until it was time to change the horses. He must assume that Jenkins or Smith was now leading Billy.
She wriggled off his lap and while still holding onto his arms relocated to the other side of the carriage. For a moment he thought it was because she didn't wish to sit next to him but then she explained why she had moved.
'I need to be able to see your face when we talk and I cannot do so unless I sit opposite. There has been a distance between us since we left Salamanca and we need to address this before we reach Silchester.'
He pushed out his legs and trapped hers between them, he wanted to be in physical contact with her whilst she spoke as he had a feeling he was going to hear things he didn't want to know. Hopefully, the physical attraction between them would be enough to prevent them from becoming permanently estranged.
'Do I have your permission to speak frankly?'
He flinched. Had it come to that? Did she really think things had changed so much between them that she needed to have his permission before speaking?
'Go ahead, sweetheart, I give you my word I shall not interrupt until you are done.'
She closed her eyes as if gathering her thoughts. She pushed herself more upright on the squabs, and then began. 'I'm beginning to fear that we have made the most catastrophic error by becoming man and wife. I am not denying that we are in love with each other but I have finally understood that love does not conquer all.
'We are as different as chalk and cheese. Tell me honestly, Perry, if I had not so foolishly come to your house that night would we be married now?'
'I don't know, possibly not. I do not doubt the love we have for each other, but like you I have been having serious concerns about how we are going to adjust to living together in such different circumstances.'
She glanced down at his legs making it clear she wished to be free of them and obediently he swung them to one side. This was not going well. Instead of clearing the air it was making things more difficult between them.
'I am not suited to living the restricted life of a pampered wife of an English aristocrat. I have no interest in the things that I should, I have no wish to spend time on pointless morning calls, supper parties and musical evenings. I do not play the pianoforte, paint pretty watercolours or do embroidery.
'Nevertheless, I shall do my best to adapt to my new circumstances. I pray that we have a large family as I believe that is something I should enjoy. I sincerely hope that we don't live to regret our impulsive decision.'
Tears were trickling down her cheeks but she raised a hand when he went to offer her comfort. There was nothing he could say that would make things better. Marrying her and bringing her to England was like putting a wildcat in a cage.
'I love you, do not doubt that for a minute, sweetheart. I would give my life for you, I would kill anyone who harmed a hair on your head, but everything you say is correct. I too will do my best to make things easy for you, to allow you as much freedom as I can.'
He reached out and pulled down both window blinds in turn. Then, ignoring her slight protest, he pulled her almost roughly onto his lap. 'What we do have, darling, is this.'
He had never made love in a moving carriage but it was exactly what they needed to heal the rift between. The danger of discovery, the hilarity of being rocked and bounced from place to place, renewed the one thing they shared. They had passion and he intended that this flame continued to burn and prayed that it would be enough to see them through the difficult times that were coming.
*
After tumbling into the well of the carriage twice she and Perry remained there. It was cramped and uncomfortable but the most exciting thing she had ever done. The thought that at any moment the carriage might stop, or the duke might bang on the window demanding to speak to her husband, just made it all the more thrilling.
When it was over and they had rearranged their clothes, they were both flushed and breathless. He pulled her onto his lap and kissed her with a thoroughness that made her wish they were somewhere they could continue this to its delicious conclusion once again.
'I must apologise…' he began.
'You must not. We are a married couple and can do as we please. I am quite sure we are not the first to behave as we just did in a moving vehicle. A thoroughly exhilarating experience, my lord, even if you did have your boots on.'
His laugh sent shivers down her spine but fortunately the carriage began to slow, they must be approaching the inn where the horses could be exchanged for the second team. When Jenkins had explained she had been part horrified at the extravagance and part impressed by the efficiency.
'Where is my bonnet? I cannot get out so dishevelled, it will be immediately obvious what we have been doing. I shall die of mortification if your brother was to see us like this. He is a stickler for the rules, he might pretend it is otherwise, but I can sense his disapproval when I misbehave.'
'I'm in no better case than you, sweetheart, so I think we must pretend to be asleep. Quickly, grab the furs from the floor and we shall drape them over us before anyone can look in.'
She was giggling so much she was sure it could be heard outside the vehicle. Eventually they were covered and he put his boots on the opposite squab and then she settled back into his arms with her legs stretched out in front of her.
Her breathing gradually slowed and matched his. It was strangely soporific breathing in and out at the same time as somebody else. Her eyes became heavy just as the carriage turned into the yard. Then as the door was opened she saw her missing bonnet quite squashed in the well of the carriage.
'Perry, my poor bonnet, it is quite ruined.' She covered her mouth to keep back another giggle. He was quivering beneath her, trying to hold back his laughter.
'So it is, my love, how very unfortunate.' His voice was choked, she daren't look at him.
The door was hastily closed leaving them to laugh until the tears ran down their cheeks. Nobody suggested they got out for refreshments and in a short space of time they were on their way again.
'The carriage has a fresh team, did your brother and the other two change horses as well?'
'Beau will now be riding Billy. Smith and Jenkins will remain here until their horses are rested and they can continue. They will be bringing Sylvester and the carriage horses with them when they return, but probably not until tomorrow.'
It was stifling under the rugs and she tossed them aside and put her feet to the floor of the carriage. 'I am looking forward to meeting your family, and your nieces and nephews, do you think we will arrive in time for me to be introduced today?'
'I think it might be better, sweetheart, if we left it until tomorrow. In fact, I sincerely hope they haven't formed a welcome party.'
'Now that you mention it, I am sure that they have. After all you are rather like the prodigal son…'
He snorted and flicked her cheek with his finger. 'I am nothing like…' Then he stopped and she saw his expression change as he reconsidered. 'I have certainly come back penniless, have behaved in a reprehensible way, but I don't believe the person in the Bible story brought back the greatest gift of all – a wife.'
'This is going to be an unmitigated disaster, Perry, for both of us, especially for me. My bonnet is past redemption and my gown is little better.'
He didn't answer but dropped the window, the blinds were already rolled back where they should be, and stuck his head out. His brother appeared alongside. 'How far behind us is the carriage with our servants and garments?'
The duke moved away and then returned. 'Not in hailing distance, that's for sure.'
'In which case you must ride ahead and make sure there is no reception committee. We are both in disarray from the journey and I wish to introduce my wife when she is happy with her appearance.'
Beau ducked his head so he could see her and, to her astonishment, he winked. 'It shall be done, little brother. The joyous reunion can take place tomorrow morning. Actually, that makes perfect sense as the infants can be there as well if we postpone.'
He vanished and she hugged Perry with relief. 'I cannot think why I am so nervous of your brother half the time and the other half I find him the most convivial company.'
For some reason this comment seemed to please him. 'He has been head of the family for almost ten years and grew up with the expectation of being the Duke of Silchester. It is small wonder he has a high opinion of himself – it is well-deserved.'
'Do you think he knows why we are both looking so dishevelled?'
'What makes you think so?'
'He winked at me. Why else would he do something so risqué if he did not know?'
'If he does, then he will be envious rather than disapproving. I don't suppose he has ever done anything so…so unusual in his life. I have been thinking, sweetheart, that once you are settled you must join with me in finding him a bride. I fear that if we do not do so he will be for ever interfering in our lives.'
'Good gracious! If he has not chosen to marry, has not even come close, and yet he is already past his prime, I think we must assume he is a confirmed bachelor.' She hesitated not sure if she should continue on this delicate subject. 'Does he keep a mistress in London that he visits?'
'How do you know of such things? I hope you are not intending to ask him?'
She was about to protest that she was not so silly and then saw he was having difficulty keeping his face straight. She punched him on his arm. 'Answer my question. The answer is crucial to your plan.'
'He does, or he did, but I've not been in England for a while and things could have changed. There is something you should know about my family. All of us without exception have known within a day or two that we have met the person we wish to marry. Beau has been hunted all his adult life by predatory matrons hoping to foist their daughters onto him. He has learned to stay away from places where he was likely to be pursued.'
'Then it is small wonder he has not been able to find himself a young lady he can love. I shall give the matter some thought. Having a project to complete will provide me with something to do apart from the frivolous nonsense most wives are expected to take part in.'
He moved away from her and the close connection they had forged by their disgraceful behaviour was severed. What had she done to upset him this time?