I arrived at Lucy’s house to pick her up for Easter brunch, and when she walked down the apartment staircase, I sat in the driver seat of my car. Talon babbled, and I nodded once. “Exactly.” Lucy looked beautiful. She was wearing a yellow dress with tulle underneath the skirt that made it flare out. Her makeup was sparse except for the apple red lipstick that matched her high heels. Her hair was braided up with daisies threaded throughout, like a crown.
I stepped out of the car and hurried to the passenger side to open the door for her. She smiled my way with a bouquet of flowers in one hand and a dish to pass in her other.
“Well, aren’t you just dapper looking.” She smirked.
“Just a suit and tie,” I said, taking the dish from her. I walked around to the other side of the car and opened the door, placing the dish on the seat.
As I climbed back into the driver’s seat, I closed the door and glanced once at Lucy. “You look beautiful.”
She laughed and patted her hair before smoothing out her dress. “You’re not wrong, sir.”
We drove to Professor Oliver’s home, and when we arrived, I introduced Lucy to Ollie’s daughter, Karla, and her fiancée, Susie.
“It’s lovely to meet you, Lucy,” Karla said as we walked into the house. “I would say I’ve heard a lot about you, but you know Graham—the guy doesn’t talk,” she joked.
“Really?” Lucy asked sarcastically. “I can’t get the guy to ever shut up.”
Karla laughed, took Talon from my arms, and kissed her forehead. “Yeah, he’s a real loud mouth, that one.”
Karla was the closest thing I’d ever had to a sister, and we argued like it, too. As a kid, she had been in and out of the foster program and had found herself in a lot of trouble with drugs and alcohol. I never knew her back then, though. When I came across her, she had already kind of figured out life. She was this beautiful African American woman who was a strong activist for kids who have no place to call home.
Professor Oliver and Mary wouldn’t give up on her when she was a teenager, and Karla always said because of that, something changed in her heart. Not many kids would be asked to be adopted at the age of seventeen, yet Oliver and Mary wouldn’t let her go.
They had that skill about them—seeing people’s scars and calling them beautiful.
“Here, I’ll take that dish,” Susie offered, taking Lucy’s tray from her. Susie was also a stunning person. She was a beautiful Asian woman who fought hard for women’s rights. If ever there was a couple destined for a true love story, it was Karla and Susie.
I was never a people person, but these people were good.
Like Lucy.
Just wholeheartedly good people who didn’t ask for anything but love.
When we walked into the kitchen, Mary was there, cooking, and she hurried over, giving me a kiss on the cheek and doing the same to Talon and Lucy. “You’ve been requested to join Ollie in his office, Graham. You were supposed to bring him new chapters of your book to read, and he’s waiting,” Mary said. I glanced over at Lucy, and Mary laughed. “Don’t worry about her, she’ll fit right in. We’ll take good care of her.”
Lucy smiled, my heart expanded, and then I headed to Professor Oliver’s office.
He sat at his desk reading the newest chapters I’d presented to him, and I waited impatiently as his eyes darted back and forth. “I took out the lion,” I told him.
“Shh!” he ordered, going back to reading. Every now and then he made facial expressions as he flipped the pages, but mostly, nothing. “Well,” he said, finishing and placing the papers down. “You didn’t have sex?”
“No.”
“And no cocaine?”
“Nope.”
“Well.” He sat back in his chair in disbelief. “That’s shocking, because whatever it is that made you step up your game, it’s mind-blowing. This…” He shook his head in disbelief. “This is the best work you’ve ever written.”
“Are you shitting me?” I asked with a knot in my stomach.
“I shit you not. Best thing I’ve read in years. What changed?”
I shrugged my shoulders and stood up from the chair. “I started gardening.”
“Ah.” He smiled knowingly. “Lucy Palmer happened.”
“So, Karla, I owe you fifty dollars,” Oliver stated, coming to the dining room table for brunch after we finished talking shop in his office. He straightened his tie and sat down at the head of the table. “You were right about Graham—he still knows how to write. Turns out he’s not a twenty-seven-book wonder.”
Lucy chuckled, and it sounded beautiful. “You bet against Graham’s words?”
He cocked an eyebrow. “Did you read his last draft?!”
She grimaced. “What was the deal with the lion?”
“I know, right!” he hollered, nodding in agreement. “That freaking lion!”
“Okay, okay, we get it, I suck. Can we move on with the conversation?” I asked.
Lucy nudged me in the arm. “But the lion.”
“It was hideous,” Professor Oliver agreed.
“Poorly written.”
“Weird.”
“Odd.”
“Complete trash,” the two said in unison.
I rolled my eyes. “My God, Lucille, you’re like the female version of Oliver—my worst nightmare.”
“Or your favorite dream come true,” Professor Oliver mocked, wiggling his eyebrows in a knowing way. What he knew—hell if I could tell. He reached across the table for bacon, and Karla slapped his hand.
“Dad, no.”
He groaned, and I welcomed the change in subject. “A few pieces of bacon won’t kill me, darling. Plus, it’s a holiday.”
“Yeah, well, your heart doesn’t know it’s a holiday, so keep to the turkey bacon Mom made for you.”
He grimaced. “That’s not bacon.” He smiled over at Lucy and shrugged his shoulders. “You have a mini heart attack once and three minor heart surgeries, and people take that stuff so seriously for the rest of your life,” he joked.
Mary smiled over at her husband and patted his hand with hers. “Call us overprotective, but we just want you around forever. If that includes you hating us for forcing you to eat turkey bacon”—she put three strips onto his plate—“so be it.”
“Touché, touché.” Professor Oliver nodded, biting into the non-bacon bacon. “I can’t really blame you all. I’d want to be forever surrounded by me, too.”
We spent the rest of brunch laughing with one another, exchanging embarrassing stories, and sharing memories. Lucy listened to everyone’s words with such grace, asking questions, wanting more details, fully engaging in the conversations. I adored that about her, how she was such a people person. She made every room fill with light whenever she entered the space.
“Lucy, we’re so happy you joined us today. Your smile is contagious,” Mary said as we finished up the afternoon. We all sat at the dining room table, stuffed and enjoying the good company.
Lucy smiled wide and smoothed out her dress. “This has truly been amazing. I would’ve just been sitting at home lonely.” She laughed.
“You don’t normally spend holidays alone, do you?” Karla questioned with a frown.
“Oh, no. I’m always with my sister, but this year an old friend of hers is back in the States for such a short period of time, so she went to visit her. Normally Mari and I go up to a friend’s cabin to visit my mother’s tree every holiday.”
“Her tree?” Susie asked.
“Yeah. After my mom passed away years ago, we planted a tree to honor her memory, taking a life and making it grow, even after death. So, each holiday we go, eat licorice—Mama’s favorite candy—and sit around the tree, listening to music and breathing in the earth.”
“That’s so beautiful.” Karla sighed. She turned to Susie and slapped her in the arm. “When I die, will you plant a tree in my memory?”
“I’ll plant a beer—seems more fitting,” Susie replied.
Karla’s eyes widened and she leaned in to kiss Susie. “I’m going to marry you so hard in three months, woman.”
Lucy’s eyes widened with joy. “When are you two getting married?”
“Fourth of July weekend, the weekend we met,” Karla said, giddy. “We were going to wait until next year, but I can’t wait any longer.” She turned to Professor Oliver, smiling wide. “I just need my papa to walk me down the aisle and give me away to my love.”
“It’s going to be the best day,” Oliver replied, taking his daughter’s hand and kissing it. “Only second best to the day you officially became my daughter.”
My heart expanded even more.
“Well, if you need a florist, it’ll be my treat,” Lucy offered.
Susie’s eyes widened. “Seriously? That would be amazing. Like, beyond amazing.”
If it weren’t for the love I saw between Professor Oliver and Mary, and the love between Karla and Susie, I would’ve been certain love was an urban legend, something made only for fairytale books.
But the way those people stared at one another, the way they loved so freely and loudly…
True, romantic love was real.
Even if I’d never been able to feel it for myself.
“You know, Graham still needs a plus one for the ceremony. Hint, hint.” Susie smirked widely.
I rolled my eyes, feeling a knot in my stomach. A quick change of subject was needed. “Susie and Karla are amazing singers,” I told Lucy, leaning in and nudging her in the side. “That’s how they met—at a Fourth of July music showcase. You should ask them to sing something.”
“Graham is full of crap,” Karla replied, throwing a piece of bread at him.
“No, he’s not.” Mary smiled. “I might be a bit biased, but they are amazing. Come on, girls, sing something.” Right at that moment, Talon’s baby monitor started going off, telling us she was up from her nap. “I’ll grab her, and you ladies pick out a song,” Mary ordered.
“Mom, geez, no pressure, huh?” Karla rolled her eyes, but there was a bit of light in her gaze that revealed how much she loved to perform. “Fine. What do you think, Susie? Andra Day?”
“Perfect,” she agreed, standing up. “But I’m not singing at the table. This diva needs a stage.”
We all headed to the living room, and I sat on the sofa next to Lucy. Mary walked in with my daughter in her arms, and for a moment I considered that was what a grandmother should’ve looked like. Happy. Healthy. Whole. Filled with love.
Talon had no clue how lucky she was to have a Mary.
I hadn’t a clue how lucky I was to have a Mary, too.
Karla sat down at the piano in the corner, stretched out her fingers, and began to play “Rise Up” by Andra Day. The music floating from the piano was stunning all on its own, but when Susie started to sing, I thought the whole room felt the chills. Lucy’s eyes were glued to the performance, while mine stayed glued to her. Her body started to tremble, and her legs shook as she watched the girls perform. It was as if the words were swallowing her whole as tears began to stream down her cheeks.
Her tears fell faster and faster as the lyrics of the song found her heart and planted their seeds. She blushed nervously and tried to wipe her tears away, but when she wiped some away, more came.
The next time she went to wipe them, I took her hand in mine, stopping her. She turned my way, confused, and I squeezed her hand lightly. “It’s okay,” I whispered.
Her lips parted as if she were going to speak, but then she just nodded once before turning back to the girls and closing her eyes. The tears kept falling as she listened to the beautiful vocals, her body rocking slightly as I held her hand.
For the first time, I began to understand her fully.
The beautiful girl who felt everything.
Her emotions weren’t what made her weak.
They were her strength.
When the girls finished performing, Lucy started clapping, the tears still falling. “That was so amazing.”
“Are you sure you’re not crying because we suck?” Karla laughed.
“No, it was so amazing. My mom would have…” She paused for a moment and took a deep breath. “She would’ve just loved it.”
My eyes fell to our hands, which were still clasped together, and I released my hold, along with the tugging feeling in my chest.
When night came, we packed up our things, thanking everyone for including us.
“It was amazing,” Lucy told Mary and Ollie as she hugged them both tightly. “Thank you for keeping me from sitting on my couch eating Ben & Jerry’s tonight.”
“You’re always welcome here, Lucy,” Mary said, kissing her cheek.
“I’ll go put Talon in her car seat,” Lucy said to me, taking Talon from my arms before thanking everyone once more.
Mary gave me a tight smile and pulled me into a hug. “I like her,” she whispered as she patted me on the back. “She has a good heart.”
She wasn’t wrong.
Once she went back inside, Professor Oliver stood on the front porch, grinning wide.
“What?” I asked, my eyebrows knotted.
“Oh, Mr. Russell,” he sang, placing his hands in his pockets, rocking back and forth.
“What?!”
He whistled low, shaking his head back and forth. “It’s just funny that it’s happening to you of all people, and you seem one hundred percent ignorant to it.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I guess it’s harder to see the plot line when you’re the one living the story.”
“Did someone forget to take their crazy pills again?” I asked.
“In every story, there’s the moment when the characters go from act one, the old world, into act two, the new world. You know this.”
“Yes…but what does that have to do with anything?”
Professor Oliver nodded toward Lucy. “It has everything to do with everything.”
Realization set in and I cleared my throat, standing up straighter. “No, that’s ridiculous. She’s just helping with Talon.”
“Mhmm,” he said, almost mockingly.
“No, really—and, regardless of your batty mind games, she’s Jane’s sister.”
“Mhmm,” he replied, driving me crazy. “The thing is, the heart never listens to the brain’s logic, Mr. Russell.” He nudged me in the side with an all-knowing hitch in his voice. “It just feels.”
“You’re really starting to annoy me.”
He laughed and nodded. “It’s just funny, isn’t it? How the main characters never know about the adventures they’re about to go on.”
What bothered me the most about his words was how much truth was contained in them. I knew my feelings for Lucy were growing, and I knew how dangerous it was to allow myself to develop any kind of emotions toward her.
I couldn’t remember the last time I felt the way I did when I held her hand, or when I saw her caring for Talon, or even when I saw her merely existing.
“What do you think of her, Graham?” Professor Oliver asked.
“What do I think of Lucille?”
“Yes. Maybe if you can’t be with her, perhaps you still have room for a friendship.”
“She’s my complete opposite,” I told him. “Lucille is such an odd character, a freak of nature. She’s clumsy and always speaks out of turn. Her hair’s always wild, and her laughter is at times annoying and too loud. Everything about her is disastrous. She’s nothing more than a mess.”
“And yet?” he urged me on.
And yet, I wanted to be just like her. I wanted to be an odd character, a freak of nature. I wanted to stumble and laugh out loud. I wanted to find her beautiful disaster and mix it together with my own mess. I wanted the freedom she swam in, and her fearlessness of living in the moment.
I wanted to know what it meant to be a part of her world.
To be a man who felt everything.
I wanted to hold her, but still have her move freely in my arms. I wanted to taste her lips and breathe in a part of her soul as I gave her a glimpse of mine.
I didn’t want to be her friend—no.
I wanted to be so much more.
Yet, I knew the possibility of that was impossible. She was the one thing off-limits, and the only thing I’d ever craved. It wasn’t fair, the way this story was unfolding for me, yet it wasn’t at all shocking. I never wrote happily ever afters, and Lucy would never be featured in my final chapter.
“You’re overthinking something right now, Graham, and I urge you to believe in the opposite,” he told me. “Jane has been gone for almost a year now, and let’s face it—you never looked at her the way you stare at Lucy. Your eyes never lit up the way they do whenever she walks into a room. You spent most of your life struggling to avoid embracing a form of happiness, my son. When in the world will you allow yourself to be free of the chains you placed upon yourself? This life is short, and you never know how many chapters you have left in your novel, Graham. Live each day as if it’s the final page. Breathe each moment as if it’s the final word. Be brave, my son. Be brave.”
I rolled my eyes and started walking down the steps. “Professor Oliver?”
“Yes?”
“Shut up.”