The solitary candle illuminated the cavern ceiling and walls, casting shadows over the crags. After a few seconds, I blew it out. Once more darkness surrounded me. That was better. I returned to staring through the arched stone entrance that looked out to the moonlit sea. Three arches actually, a large one in the center, and smaller ones on either side. In another half hour or so, the sun would rise, washing the sky and the ocean in various shades of orange and pink. As usual, the ocean lapped gently through the larger opening, forming a shallow tide pool within the cavern, which managed to reflect some of the night sky.

I didn’t need any light to feel safe, I knew this place better than any other in the world. The moon could fall and plunge me into complete darkness, and I would be able to find my way around with no effort. I could make my way to the left side, feel along the wall until it opened into the second smaller room of the cave, the one with the man-sized entrance to the ground above.

I’d been tempted to get more than a solitary candle from Connor’s and my stash, maybe even pull out a few of the blankets we used to soften the stone. But that really would be the highest level of sadomasochism, wouldn’t it? Reenact one of our rituals, take all the steps that would lead to removing his clothes, to him claiming my body, to feeling him get lost in me as the rest of the world faded away. Yeah. That would be fun to set up and then lie there speculating who he might be sharing his bed with, thinking about Seth still asleep in my own.

Clouds must’ve passed over the moon as the silver-tipped ripples across the ocean dimmed, making my little portion of the universe even darker. Fitting, given my thoughts.

I was coming here too much, nearly every morning before work. Seth thought I left at the crack of dawn to get to the farm on time. Instead, I came here to wallow. Sometimes to rage, to curse Connor’s name, to curse all the twists and turns life had thrown at us to keep us apart. We’d been so close. So very close.

But my little hideaway offered sanity as well. It always had. A place to dream, a place that was all my own, long before it had become the place for Connor and me to meet. The tide pool, the arches, and the sea, those had become my religion, my refuge. Where I came to think, to feel renewed, to find the courage and strength to make it through another day. And where I came to heal at the times when the day’s events were too much. Just too much.

Proving how lost to thoughts and memories I’d been, the next time I glanced through the arches, only the smallest tip of the huge yolk sun still nestled below the sea, the sky streaked brilliantly in yellow and orange.

Shit.

I stood, dusting some of the grit from the cavern floor off the back of my jeans, then hurried to the rope ladder in the other enclave. Leave it to me to get up way before the sun and still manage to be late.

“You might be my favorite person from a founding family other than my own, but there are times I curse the day you stepped foot onto my farm.” Adrian Rivera glared at me, the expression deepening the crow’s feet around his eyes but not dampening his handsome face. “I should have shoved your sorry teenage ass back into your prissy sports car and told you to go get your highlights fixed and leave me well enough alone.”

I made a sweeping gesture around the Green Violin, encompassing the entirety of the small store filled with every sort of vegetable and fruit imaginable. “And if you had done that, where would you be ten years later? You can pretend you hate this place as much as you want, but we both know you love it.” I shook my finger at him in exaggeration. “And, you should’ve told me how bad my highlights were. I can’t even look at those yearbooks anymore. That hair was something.”

“Where would I be? I’d happily only have to worry about my farm, my land, and getting the orders ready by the time the trucks arrived. I wouldn’t be having Charlie Perez yelling at me all morning for not having the damn cilantro he needs. At least when clients were upset before, it was over the phone. I could hang up on them if I needed to.”

He had a point; Charlie had a temper, but the way he’d shouted and stormed out the door a few minutes before, there had to be something more going on than a lack of cilantro. “I know. Sorry about the cilantro. It’s Moses’s first full day on the job. He overslept. That’s what teenagers do.”

This time Adrian’s glare lacked any hint of the humor that had been there before. “This is his only shot, Micah. When you were a teenager, you never pulled that shit. Just because Moses is your….” The confusion seemed to wash some of his irritation away. “What do we call him exactly? Since he’s Connor’s nephew, does that make him your nephew too?”

Good Question. One of many. And one I’d rather avoid entirely. “I do want to point out that the hair situation has been fixed. All of the blond highlights on my perfect head are placed there by the sun, thank you very much.”

Adrian snorted out a laugh, his typical humor returning. “Ridiculous. I still don’t get how a pretty city boy like you fell in love with farming. Even if you have roots in Texas.”

“Isn’t that exactly what your family says about you?” I hated that. Everyone made comments like that all the time. I knew they meant it good-naturedly, but not one of them knew how much those perceptions had cost me. “I’m as much a Lavender Shores kid as you are, and you know it. Just because I lived in the city for a few years doesn’t change who I am or what I want.”

“Whoa.” Adrian raised his hands in self-defense. “Didn’t mean to step on that land mine this morning.”

“Sorry.” None of it was Adrian’s fault.

Adrian gestured around the shop. “Though, your New York sensibilities would explain your design. It’s like Pottery Barn and Whole Foods had a drunken night together and birthed this place.”

He wasn’t wrong. The Green Violin was modern, bright, and consisted of only white, creams, glass, and natural-hued wood. It made the pedestals and crates of vegetables and fruits nearly gleam in their colorful splendor. It wasn’t simply the organic quality of our produce that allowed us to charge designer prices; the shop felt as luxurious as any other in downtown Lavender Shores, even if its owners often had dirt under our nails. “Don’t act like the Green Violin doesn’t help your own founding family feel a little more at ease with your life choices.”

Adrian waved me off with a scoff. “I’m going to head out to the farm. If that boy of yours hasn’t already got the truck loaded up, you’ll be the one enjoying a land mine.”

I started to correct him about Moses being my boy, but let it go.

He grabbed his keys off the counter and headed toward the front door, then called out over his shoulder. “When you order our lunches from the Daily Deli, remind them just because I provide them with bean sprouts doesn’t mean I eat that shit. They have no business on a perfectly good Havarti-and-turkey sandwich.” Then he was gone. After a few moments, his yellow Camaro sped down Bluffs Boulevard, past the store window, and out of town. How times had changed.

I leaned against the counter and looked around the shop. I’d been the one to talk Adrian into opening an organic produce store downtown. Providing for the restaurants alone was a sizable income, but really the whole thing had been another reason for me to stay in town. Not that I didn’t love it. But I enjoyed being on the farm just as much as Adrian, much more than managing the store. The earth and the music were my two great loves. Well, two of my great loves. The customer service that went along with the Green Violin was not. But it was one more tie to Lavender Shores. You’d think being the fourth generation of a founding family would come with enough ties to the town to satisfy my family. But everyone insisted I was destined for New York, or at least LA. Even my mother, as glad as she was at my return, couldn’t understand why I’d moved back from New York City four years before. She feared I was turning my back on my dreams.

My dreams weren’t in New York or any other city across the globe. My dream was here. Probably tattooing someone at that very moment a block and a half away.

The opening beats of Britney’s “Oops I Did It Again” cut through the piped-in background music. I pulled my cell from my pocket, glanced at the screen, and forced a friendly tone into my voice that I wished was more genuine. “Hey, Moses. Please tell me you’re on your way.”

His newly deepened voice was nervous, which even nearly a year in town wasn’t close to alleviating. “I am. Sorry. I’m really, really sorry, Micah.”

I might resent him, but every time I looked at him, I saw Connor. “It’s okay, kid. It’s your first day of summer, and of working full-time. But, just so you know, you lucked out. Adrian is on his way to the farm. If you’re smart, take a back road as you come into town. Just so you can avoid an earful.”

“I already passed him actually. He just waved.”

Figured. I loved that man. “Do me a favor, will you?”

“Of course.”

“Will you stop by Charlie’s before you come here, hand deliver his cilantro, and throw in a couple bushels of peppers on the house. That should make him happy.”

“Sure thing, sorry again.”

“Oh, and hey, congratulations. Now that school’s out, you’re officially a senior.” Another thought hit me. “In fact, why don’t we talk to Tyler. He could do some killer senior pictures for you.”

“No, I can’t ask him that.” Despite his words, I could hear the longing in Moses’s voice.

“Moses, you’re family now. It’s what we do.”

“Yeah.” There was a catch in his tone. Maybe it was the recent voice change, but I doubted it. “I’ll be right there.” He hung up. Definitely not just the voice change.

Guilt bit at me. Moses had been through so much, and I knew more than most the effect his upbringing could have on a person. I was fairly certain Moses had never picked up on my resentment of him arriving in Lavender Shores. Or at Mom’s suggestion that he start working part-time for Adrian and me barely a month after showing up, to give him a sense of belonging. But Moses was sensitive, just like Connor. Chances were high that both of them were aware.

Charlie’s Tavern was packed, as was normal for a Saturday evening at the beginning of tourist season in Lavender Shores. Somehow, Seth and I had gotten a booth that could easily accommodate six people. Though fourteen years older than me, Seth was the hottest man I’d dated, at least long-term. Not that there’d ever been anyone long-term before. Was pushing six months long-term? Maybe not for most people. It was for me. He held my hand on the tabletop, and though he cast a quick scowl around the restaurant, he smiled at me. “If I didn’t know better, Micah Bryant, I’d say you were testing me for some strange reason.”

I doubted the teasing in Seth’s tone was genuine. He was a bartender, a good one, reading people was second nature. Even so, I wasn’t going to admit he was right. That would make the test null and void. “Oh come on, you can’t hate Charlie that much.”

“Yes, actually”—he nodded solemnly—“I can. Although I’m not sure hate really encompasses it fully.”

I spared a glance at our hands, wishing his touch stirred my heart in a similar way as it did my body. “You shouldn’t hate people. And besides, you can’t feel that strongly about him. We’re having dinner at his restaurant, after all.”

Seth shrugged. “I’m Italian. I’m passionate. Hate is just an extension of that.” Though I could tell he meant the words as a joke, it was easy to hear the truth in what he said. “And I’m here because you seemed insistent. If you’re so desperate for second-rate carnitas, I could’ve attempted to make them for you at my house.”

And there it was. The answer to the test. Although Seth being willing to darken the door of Charlie’s Tavern had already been the answer. He had failed the test fully and completely. And I needed to figure out what to do to fix that situation. Well, I did know what to do. The hours in the cavern hadn’t been unclear. I just wasn’t ready to do it. I pushed the sinking feeling away and leveled my gaze on him. “I promise to make your sacrifice worth it when we get back to your house this evening.”

“You always do.” He rubbed his thumb over the back of my hand, drawing my attention there once more. Another failing of the test.

Seth and I had hooked up frequently over the years. We were both good in the bedroom, and we always had a lot of fun. I thought giving dating him a try would have the best chance of finally breaking free of Connor. But I didn’t want to be free. I never had.

No more of that. I needed to focus on the moment. Test be damned. Have a good meal, go to Seth’s and have killer sex, and turn off my goddamn brain already. I smiled into his handsome face, forcing some of the genuine affection I felt for him to rise to the surface. “I’ll fill you in on a secret.”

He leaned across the table, his face drawing closer to mine. “Yeah? I do like secrets.”

“I talked to Charlie earlier today. There was a problem with one of his produce orders. During the conversation, he mentioned he was heading out of town for the weekend.”

“You knew the fucker wasn’t going to be here this evening before you dragged me here.” Seth grinned. “So you must love me.” His smile vanished instantly as his eyes widened. “Uhm… I mean….”

Seth never looked panicked, never appeared to be anything other than the smooth, confident man he was. Yep, failing every test there was, even ones I hadn’t set up.

“Hey, Micah!”

For a heartbeat, I thought the new voice was my salvation—Seth’s and my salvation. Until I looked up and saw Moses’s smiling face.

My blood ran cold, my gaze traveled over his shoulder, and I saw Connor’s wide-eyed, horrified expression. And then my blood heated, boiling through my veins and frying any possible synapse that could locate a way out of the situation. Without meaning to, I pulled my hand away from Seth’s, looked back at Moses, and forced a smile of my own. “Hey, kid. Didn’t spend enough time with the cilantro this morning? You come to get your revenge?”

He wrinkled his nose. “Nah. I hate cilantro. Tastes like soap.”

That was exactly what his uncle had always said as well.

Moses’s gaze traveled to where Seth’s and my hands were now a few inches apart on the tabletop. His nerves seemed to increase. I could sense the longing there. I might resent him being in Lavender Shores, but my heart broke for him. Even after so many months of him in town, I was willing to bet he still hadn’t come close to allowing himself more than crushing on another guy from afar. One more piece of evidence that my place of religion was superior to the one Moses’s parents had forced upon him.

Connor placed a hand on Moses’s shoulder, seeming to have gotten himself under control. He avoided looking at me and turned to Seth. “Good to see you. Been a while.”

“Yeah. You haven’t dropped by to see me at the bar in a while.”

Connor’s lips tightened, but he gave a slight nod toward Moses. “Well, life’s been a little busy lately. With work… and all.”

Yeah, that was the reason he’d avoided Seth.

A teenage girl in a maroon Charlie’s Tavern T-shirt stepped up beside Connor and gave a wistful glance at Moses. I was willing to bet she was in the same class as him. Surely she knew she had to be barking up the wrong tree. Not that I could blame her. I’d spent my entire life barking up the wrong tree. “I’m sorry, I hadn’t realized I’d lost you.” She motioned behind her. “Do you still want me to take you to your table, or do you want to join your friends here?”

Connor’s panicked expression returned. It would look comical to anyone else, such a huge, muscle-bound, tattooed, rugged man looking scared at the prospect of sitting down at a booth with his brother and his brother’s boyfriend. But I’d seen that exact expression too many times throughout the years to find anything funny about it.

Before Connor could say anything, Moses, still looking at the place where Seth and my hands sat so close together, nodded. “That would be great.” His gaze lifted to mine, and I could see the longing there. As well as the shadow of fear at wanting to be close to such a display. “That is, of course, if you don’t mind.”

“We can’t.” Connor’s tone matched his expression, causing Moses to turn toward him in confusion. Connor cleared his throat and tried again. “They’re on a date. We should give them space.”

“Actually, why don’t you join us?” Seth spoke up from across the table. I had almost forgotten he was there. I turned to look at him. As he spoke, his gaze held steady to mine. “I insist. Micah and I would love to have you guys eat with us. We just ordered a few minutes ago, so it’s perfect timing.” Unless I was reading too much into things, it seemed I wasn’t the only one doing tests over dinner.

“Great.” Moses slid into the booth next to me.

Connor hesitated, looking like he was debating whether he should run or vomit. After a few awkward seconds, he sat next to Seth. The server, her attention still focused on Moses, placed the menus and two new place settings on the table.

I allowed myself one quick glance at Connor. And for once, I couldn’t nail down exactly what he was feeling. Although, from the tumult raging behind his hazel eyes, I doubted there were too many emotions he wasn’t experiencing at the moment.

That made two of us.

Seth grasped my hand once more, linking his fingers with mine.

I flinched, but forced myself to smile over at him.

He studied me for a second, returned my smile, and then focused on Moses. “So, how has Lavender Shores been treating you?”