“I… how? I mean… what?”

My face is permanently stuck in a twisted expression. What Sharon has just told me is something impossible. He was supposed to be gone. He was never supposed to come back.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, head lowered.

“It’s just a prank. It has to be,” I reason. “He’s not back. He’s been mauled by some bears, remember?”

“I guess it could be a prank,” she says.

The expression on her face is one of disbelief. It’s not a prank. It’s real. I’m going to have to face this reality. I was right about this being a season of change. I just didn’t anticipate this.

“What do I do? What am I going to do?” I frantically pace around her kitchen. I start to breathe too fast. I feel dizzy.

“You don’t have to talk to him. If you want, I can get my brother to stand guard. If he tries to come near you, we’ll get a restraining order. There are options,” she says.

I shake my head. “No.” I make up my mind as fast as I can. “He deserves to know the truth. He has a son.”

“You’re just going to let him back into your life again? You can’t do that, Jacqueline,” she says.

“Look at George,” I whisper. “Just look at him. Do you really think I should keep the truth from both of them? Someday, he’s going to ask questions. He’s going to want to talk to his father.”

“I just don’t want to see my friend get hurt,” she says.

“He needs to know all we’ve been through. I’m not saying that I invite him back in my life. I’m happier without any drama. But he needs to know,” I say.

She nods solemnly. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Just be careful, okay? I don’t trust his intentions. He sounded pretty desperate,” she says.

“Desperate? How can a man who’s made a fortune playing sports suddenly get desperate?” I ask.

She looks at me with sassy eyes. “That’s what fame does. You go a little crazy. Some make it. Some don’t.”

“I guess I’ll just have to wait for the call,” I say. “I’ll let you know how it goes. Not going to lie, I’m feeling pretty insane myself.”

“You’ll be fine,” she tells me. “You’ve got a good compass in you,” she says.

Later, at my house, I feed George. He has no idea the turmoil of life. Not yet, and hopefully not ever. As I wait for that dreadful phone call, I can feel every muscle in my body tense up. I feel tired, and I have the desire to just escape everything. I think about taking George somewhere different, like the southwest, but I lack the financial avenues to do any of that. Instead, I sit in this house, waiting for Lawrence’s voice to ruin everything.

The phone does eventually ring, even if it takes hours. George has been put to bed, but even so, I leave the house and run into my backyard.

I kneel down by the grass and whisper, “…Lawrence?”

“Jackie,” he says, out of breath. His voice has gone down an octave. There’s pain in it now. It used to be full of life, and dreams of the future. You could sense he was going somewhere. “I can’t believe I’m talking to you right now.”

“You shouldn’t be,” I manage to say. “Why are you calling here?”

“Don’t you want to ask me how I’ve been?” he asks.

I want to scream. I want to tell him he’s a selfish asshole who left me with a child. There’s just so much I want to lay on him right now, that I have to hold myself back.

“I don’t care how you’ve been,” I mutter. “In fact, I’d rather just hang up the phone.”

“I understand your frustration,” he whispers. “To be honest, I don’t know what happened after that night. I woke up and realized something inside me had changed. I had to get away from the life I created.”

“Yeah, well, not everyone can run away from hard times,” I say.

“I tried. In my gut, I knew I should have gone back to Chicago. I just couldn’t get over some stuff. The life of an athlete turns into something automated. I was never cut out for any of that crap. I just wanted to play the game, not live out the life of a rich celebrity,” he says.

“Lawrence,” I sigh, “what does this have to do with me? Seriously, I don’t understand. I’m assuming you called to make amends or something, but you’re just talking about yourself. I don’t want to hear about your industry. I just want to move on with my life.”

“You’re wrong about some things. I didn’t just call to make amends,” he says. “I’ve been up north this whole time. I got a cabin up there. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. I need to see you again.”

“You don’t even know me,” I say.

“I know how you made me feel. I know you felt the same way. We could have been something,” he says.

“That time has passed, Lawrence,” I say. “It’s kind of weird that you’re even calling.”

I want to tell him everything, how he left me and his son alone, but I can’t bring myself to do it. There’s a wall I’ve made for myself and it’s not coming down.

“Just let me see you again,” he says. “One more time. Let me explain everything better. I know I can. I have to make things right in your life.”

“If you want forgiveness, you can have it. Just leave me and my life alone from now on,” I say.

George cries from the other room, so I quickly run to the back door. “Who’s baby is that?” he asks.

“Don’t call here again!” I yell, exhausted from the whole thing.

I slowly open George’s door and pick him up in my arms. “Can’t sleep?” I whisper. “I’m sorry, you know. I didn’t give you a fair start. You deserve a father. Things are just hard for me right now. I want to make the right decision. I just hope that by the time you’re old enough to make decisions for yourself, that you can see I tried. I’m sorry, my baby Drew. I’m so sorry.”