My heart flutters. My body still aches with desire. Then there’s the fact that his handprints are still marking my ass. And the imprint of his teeth is still on my neck.

I keep thinking about last night, even though I probably shouldn’t. I can feel his hands wrapped around my thick flesh. His fingers sliding inside me, curling against all the right places. And then I think about the orgasm that left me speechless. The way he maneuvered his tongue was something unprecedented. No man I’ve ever been with has been able to do what he did.

I fall back onto my bed and squeeze my pillow, nearly screaming, but I’m too horny to be upset about my stupid choices. I bite down on my lip and remember him doing the same thing to me. I wore that dress for him and he ripped it off my body, tearing my panties in half.

I imagine his hand slowly moving up my thigh and then my skin starts to prickle. I close my eyes and imagine his towering body standing over me. He’s ready for me. That much is obvious. But am I ready for him?

I move my hand against my belly button, down to my pelvis. I tickle around the sensitive areas of my skin and shiver slightly. I exhale deeply and then take another breath of air. The room feels hot and sweaty, even though it isn’t. I’m still stuck in the throes of last night, overcome with lust and terrible desires. I want more. I want it to get crazier.

My hand runs over my pussy and I’m wet again, already. I rub my clit, plunging two fingers into my wetness. With my other hand, I open my bedside drawer and pull out a vibrator. “That’s better,” I smile to myself.

I imagine his hard, thick cock above my pussy. I press the vibrator inside me and sigh loudly. I imagine it’s Jackson, mounting me and making me his. It’s all so wrong. Me, giving myself up for some jock is not part of the plan. But every time I think about how wrong all of this is, I fall further into the fantasy.

“Fuck me,” I whisper to myself. I push the vibrator in deeper and feel my lips spread apart. It’s not big enough. It’s not as big as him. It doesn’t feel the same, but it does the trick. I push it inside me, over and over again, moving it around in circular motions. Within a minute, I feel the pressure build. It needs an exit. It needs to release. “Oh, Jackson,” I moan. And then, within seconds, I tremble and release.

The orgasm shoots throughout my body and I’m left paralyzed. I drop my toy and fall back against my bed, grabbing at the wood above me to hold myself steady. “Shit,” I moan loudly, toes curling into the bed.

And when the orgasm is over, I’m left with my stupid emotions. I’m left with wanting him even more. I can’t believe myself. I can’t believe I let him do this to me.

My phone vibrates suddenly and I grab at it as fast as I can. Thanks for last night, Jackson says.

Great. You’re welcome. It was, uh, swell. I can’t send that. I take a few minutes to think about my answer. Oh, Jesus. This is like high school all over again. What’s the right thing to say in this situation? Thanks to you too? God, I’m so inept at this bullshit. How can I talk to sports stars and TV hosts, but not be able to talk to Jackson, the boy I dated and grew up with?

I write out, Yeah lol, but I erase it immediately. I get out of bed and make myself a cup of coffee. I set the phone down and decide to just forget the whole thing. By the time night hits, I won’t even care.

I take a sip of coffee and sit down. My phone vibrates and I feel my heart race. I slam my hand over my phone and look at the text. I’m serious. I can’t stop thinking about it. I can’t stop thinking about you either.

I feel weak. My body feels light and my heart’s racing. Who am I kidding? There’s no way I can forget the feeling of his warm body, sucking, scraping, and kissing every tender part of my body. I type out a reply. Sorry, I was in the shower. Last night was… hot.

Hot. Yeah, I said it. But last night was so much more. It was perfection. The only thing that could have made it better would be to spend tonight doing the same thing.

If Jennifer was here right now, she’d congratulate me, and say something like “Why aren’t you over there right now? What are you doing?”

Should I listen to her voice over my shoulder? The old me would think that’s an awful idea. But now, I feel up to trying her advice. Who knows? Maybe it would lead me toward something good. Not that I’m even thinking about a longer road with Jackson. No, this is all just fun and games. I swear, it’s only a good time.

You’re in the shower? Can I join? he asks me, my phone sliding across the table from its vibrations. I close my eyes and see him thrusting against me. My face starts to feel clammy. I’m blushing red, even though I’m alone. My heart is still the bane of my existence.

The water is still hot. It’s practically scorching my ass, I type out. I click send and feel my pussy tingle with excitement. My throat starts to tighten and the hairs on the back of my neck rise.

You’re making me go crazy, he texts. A few seconds later, he texts me again. My cock is so hard it hurts. And then a third text. This time it’s a picture. He’s naked and his skin is glistening. He has a towel over half of his hard cock and the fabric just hangs over it. I hate to admit that I’m actually salivating looking at it.

Man. You want to spread these lips bad, don’t you? Tell me how bad you need it, I say back, the sheer naughtiness of my words making me squirm.

I do. I’m dying for it. You have no idea. I can’t sleep. I can’t play ball. I’m letting everyone down and it’s all because of your pussy, he says.

I start laughing uncontrollably when I see this. Still, at the same time, I love reading those words. It’s exhilarating. It feels like life has begun again. Shit, though. Things never end well when they feel this good and I tend to make this mistake a lot. I’m aware of the consequences.

Crawl over here, boy, I text him back with a winking face.

I drink a glass of wine and pour a hot bath, dipping my toes into the hot water and I’m forced to jump back out because it’s so hot. Finally, I get my knees in and wait for him. My door is unlocked. My body is shaking with anticipation. This is so bad. I can’t believe I’m doing it.

The door creaks open and I hear his heavy footsteps coming toward the bathroom door. It pushes open much faster than I expected and he’s standing there, wearing no clothes, stroking his enormous cock. He’s got his signature, cocky smile on and he knows he’s about to get some ass.

He walks forward and I turn and press my hands against the tile wall of my shower. He reaches out halfway and grabs my ass, slapping it lightly. I close my eyes and moan, feeling the urge for him swell up inside of me.

“Miss me?” he asks.

“Yes, Jackson,” I moan. “I’m a happy woman, now that you’re here.”

He loves hearing that. Any kind of praise or encouragement gets him off. “You’re the best,” I tell him, and he smacks my ass harder.

“Quit telling me what I want to hear,” he says. “I want you. I’ve been going insane over you. And yes, I blame you for the mess I’m in.”

I smile and turn my head, narrowing my eyes. “Well, then. What’re you waiting for? Aren’t you going to punish me?”

His grin falls short, turning into a slight grimace. His eyes are dark and serious. He steps inside the bath tub and his hands slide down, between my legs. He cups his fingers around my lips and softly presses upward, slowly inserting a finger, using the rest to spread my lips outward. His cock presses softly against the top of my ass and I exhale sharply, unable to contain myself.

“Fuck me,” I reiterate. “Fuck the life out of me, football star.”

He smiles and grabs the back of my hair, pulling downward. I sigh and arch my back out further, pressing my cheeks against his cock. I push up and down, massaging against his shaft. I can feel him grow as I push my hips from side to side.

He pulls my hair down further until I’m on my knees in the bathtub, ass sticking out from the water. My nipples press lightly against the water when he says, “Listen to me very carefully. I want you to do everything I say. By the end of this, I want you to make this cock yours.”

“Yes, Jackson.” I spread my cheeks and feel the head of his cock touch my lips, teasing me. He pushes his body forward and his arms come over me, wrapping around my chest, hands against my tits. He squeezes gently, thrusting forward. His breath is slow and steady. He knows he can take every bit of me and get away with it. I push back until his cock disappears inside of me, and he groans deep and irrational.

He kisses my neck, and starts to thrust more powerfully inside of me. One hand falls to my hip, gently guiding each motion. I lift the front of my body and push back against him, until I’m sitting on his lap, his cock deep inside. I place my hands on his muscular thighs and bounce up and down. He kisses the top of my back, near my neck, and I move faster, rocking my hips back and forth.

I feel myself letting go, the water rocking in unison around us. He thrusts upward and my pussy slides around him with ease. One more thrust and I’m sent spiraling. I grind my clit against him, pushing his cock deeper inside me. He fills me to the brim and I find myself screaming along to his sudden groans and grunts.

I cum, and I cum hard. I grab every bit of flesh I can and I press against him, arching my back out. My body spasms in a confusing rhythm and the feeling of extreme euphoria rushes over me. Suddenly, joy is within my every fiber. “Your cock is perfect,” I manage to say between breaths.

He spins me around and places me back on his lap. I throw my thighs around his chest, sitting down on his cock. He thrusts upward and grabs me close. “Look into my eyes,” he says. I do and he doesn’t stop staring. He wipes a piece of hair from my eyes and kisses me, pulling back on my lips. “I think I want to fuck you forever,” he says, smiling.

He lifts my tits against his mouth and slides his tongue around my nipples. He drains the bathtub as he fucks me, pressing my back against the shower wall. He lifts me up until I’m holding onto him, his hands gripping my ass.

He’s still holding me as he steps out of the shower before placing me on the bathroom sink. He holds my legs out and I feel my heart beating again, water dripping down my body onto the floor. He runs his hand against the porcelain sink, sliding closer until he reaches the core of my body. He holds my pussy like it’s his, rubbing his index finger against my clit. His finger slides inside me and I scoot closer toward him, my back against the mirror.

“Spread that pussy for me,” he says, and of course I do.

“Give me your cum,” I tell him.

“Shut up,” he says, smiling again. He places one hand over my mouth and the other around my neck, squeezing lightly, but not hard enough to feel any pain.

I grab his hand off my mouth and whisper. “Harder.”

He squeezes my throat and I nod up and down. “Fiona Breckinridge, you’re one kinky woman,” he says and I simply nod at him, opening my mouth slightly.

His cock replaces his fingers inside of me and his pupils expand. His body goes rigid and he fucks me like he owns me, kissing my thighs while my body bangs against the glass. Hearing that, he looks at me with a sudden concern in his eyes. “Harder,” I tell him.

He throws his hand over my mouth again, closing his grip tighter around my neck, and I smile as I feel him get harder inside of me. He buries himself within me only a few more times before he’s shooting inside me.

He falls forward and we passionately make out for a few minutes, still riding high. I grab his face and look at his chiseled jaw and cocky eyelashes. Don’t ask me how they’re cocky, they just are. We pull back from each other and I laugh.

“What the hell is so funny this time?” he asks me. “I’m pretty sure I saw you squirming back there.”

“I did a little squirming. You’re right,” I laugh. “I just can’t believe all that just happened.”

He falls forward and kisses my thighs. I fidget away from him, but he grabs me takes me into the bedroom, pushing my body flat against the bed. “Believe it,” he says, wrapping his tongue around my clit. He sucks making my toes curl and gives me a smile that makes my heart jump in a funny way. “Believe it.”

“I believe, I believe!” I squeal.

Tonight, he’s spending the night. I already know how this one’s going to end. We’ve already drank enough wine for five people and we’re falling over the place. It’s not good and I don’t even want to know how this looks. We’re playing football in the back yard and I’m on all fours, on the grass.

“That’s not exactly the position,” he says, falling underneath me with the football. He grabs the ball and kisses me. “But I like seeing you like that.”

“Oh you do?” I ask him. He grabs my legs and I fall on top of him, laughing. If someone were to find out about this… If Joseph was to find out about this, I’d lose my job. How dumb am I? Turns out, pretty dumb sometimes.

“You know I do,” he says, smacking my ass.

We make our way back into my room, drink some more wine, and fall into bed. He offers to eat me out again because he’s a filthy animal and says he “can’t live without my taste in his mouth.” I’m not sure if I should be flattered or not, but in the end I take it as a compliment.

We fall asleep like drunken messes and I wake up a little later with his hand firmly gripping my butt. “I love this,” he murmurs as he falls back asleep. I love this. Oh. There’s that word. The dreaded l-word, love.

I don’t say a word. I just close my eyes and hope he forgets what he just said. When I wake up again, he’s hard as a rock. He leans over and kisses me, pressing his cock against me. Of course, I’m wet. I can’t even control myself at this point. Looking at that gun he’s packing makes me go insane.

I wrap my legs around him without thinking and he fucks my brains out, again. He tries for a second round, but I’m forced to push him away. “I have to go to the office today,” I tell him, swatting his hands away. “Plus, I think we need to take a little break.”

He falls against the bed cushions and sighs loudly. “A break? What? Why?” So many questions all at once.

“Um,” I close my eyes and feel my muscles tense up. Why? I suddenly don’t know why. I look at him with his perfect body and peak strength, and I suddenly forget why a break would be beneficial for anyone in the world right now. “Because my company works for your team. It’s unethical.”

He laughs loudly and grabs at the wine bottle, taking a few sips. He spills some of the dark red liquid on his chest and laughs some more, shrugging. “Fuck being ethical then,” he says.

I fall across the bed again and groan. “Ugh! I know. No one is ethical. Not really. But we could get caught and I do not need that in my life right now. Seriously, Jackson.” I grow tense and serious and, still, he laughs at me.

“Well, fine. You can take a break. I’ll work overtime for you. Your pussy means that much to me,” he says. He smiles wide and rolls over, pulling me against him.

“Don’t make me barf,” I say, rolling my eyes. “But if you need to do that, go right ahead. You won’t get me playing those games.”

“You’re out of your damn mind if you think I’ll give up,” he says. “I’m always up for a challenge.”

“Good God,” I sigh. “I really am fucked, aren’t I? Something has changed inside of you hasn’t it? What have I done?”

He lets go of me and sits up. “Nah. Same old dickhead,” he says. “But I’m sort of obsessed with your ass right now. Sorry. It happens. I’ll get over it someday.”

“That’s appropriate,” I tell him, smiling. “just don’t let it affect your game. If it does, we’ll be both out of a job.”

He rubs his hand over his eyes and his smile suddenly fades away. “What?” I ask him. “What’s wrong?”

“I sort of threw a punch at a teammate yesterday. Landon,” he says, tensing up. “But, fuck it. He deserved it.”

I feel disappointment flow through my body. My whole body stiffens before I have the nerve to speak. “You punched a teammate? Come on, Jackson. We talked about this.”

“Don’t be disappointed,” he reassures me. “Everything is fine. It’s all taken care of. I got the day off to let off some steam.”

“So you came here to fuck my brains out. That’s letting off some steam?” I ask him, grabbing my clothes.

“Yeah, actually,” he smiles. “There’s nothing that could make me feel as good as you have lately.”

“Okay.” I sigh. “You can’t say things like that. It makes me feel weird. It makes me—”

“It makes you wet, doesn’t it?” he asks, reaching between my legs. I push away from him, laughing.

“A little, but that doesn’t mean you’re right!” I say, standing my ground.

“I’ll be good. I promise,” he says. Do I believe him? “I’m an idiot who makes mistakes sometimes. It’s not the end of the world. We’re going to crush the next game and then the game after that too. I’m going to take us to the Championships, baby.”

I tap a finger against his abs. “Don’t let me down. You’ve been on my good side lately. You don’t want to see my bad side.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He salutes, kissing me.

When he leaves, the house is quiet, except for the branches that tap against my window. I hug my pillow and curl my legs around it. I’m in too deep, aren’t I? I told him we couldn’t be together, but how are we supposed to contain this now that it’s gotten so out of hand?

I fall asleep to dreams of him. Odd dreams. Dreams where we’re walking together and we’re old. And when I wake up in the middle of the night, dying for a glass of water, I realize just how stuck he is in my mind. I’ve got to keep my distance. I can’t let myself fall any further.