“Are you serious?” I ask.

She hates me. She hates my fucking guts. I left the world behind and I gave her this.

“I never had a choice, okay? The doctors all told me that if I didn’t just jump into this, I wouldn’t have very many other chances,” she says.

“That’s… my kid?” I ask her again.

My shoulders feel weighted to the earth’s floor. I came to try and patch things up, and I guess I got what I deserved. But when I look at him, my son, things feel strangely right.

“That’s your son, George,” she says.

“George,” I whisper. I walk over to him and kneel down. “My son.”

He reaches toward my face. I feel his fingers brush my nose as he giggles loudly. And then a rush of every single emotion just hits me. At first, I want to cry because of how damn beautiful the world is. But then I want to scream because I just want to protect this child from the ills of everything bad.

I look back at Jacqueline and I have to admit that I don’t know what to say other than, “Let me be here for him. For you both.”

A few tears can be seen drying against her cheek. She sniffs loudly and says, “But we don’t need anyone else. We already have everything here.”

I can’t tell if she’s just trying to dig the knife in deep, or if she’s serious. I know how hard all of this must have been for her. It wasn’t planned, or anything. I just can’t see it as anything other than a chance at life again.

“I can do it,” I say. “I came back for you. I didn’t… I didn’t know.”

I actually get choked up a little, but I don’t let it show through. She just wipes her tears away and shakes her head.

“You don’t just get to come back for me. I’m not someone you can just leave with a baby, whenever you want, Lawrence.”

“I didn’t know what I was putting you through. I had my own shit to take care of and it got in the way.” I try to explain it to her, and she nods, but I know she’s not listening to me.

“I don’t know,” she says. “I can’t even think right now.”

The doorbell rings and I hold up my hand. “I’ll get it. Just stay there. We need to talk.”

“I have a small bag of chocolates in the dresser by the door,” she whispers.

I just keep looking back at my child in disbelief. I’m a fucking father? The idea sinks more and more into my head. There’s no choice here. I have to stay. I have to raise this kid, whether she likes it or not.

I open the door and a pack of wild children all shout, “Trick or treat!”

“Candy time!” I call out.

A boy in the group asks me, “What are you supposed to be?”

“Well.” I laugh. “I forgot to put on a costume.”

His father’s eyes light up all of a sudden. “You look just like that missing Hockey guy. Shoot, what’s his name, honey?”

He badgers his wife for the answer, but she can barely remember my name.

“I think it was Larry, or something,” she says.

“Lawrence!” He snaps his fingers. “Lawrence Jones! That’s who you look like. Seriously, you look just like him, except for the beard thing.

I smile to be nice. I say, “Never heard of him.”

“Oh. He used to be one of the best players in the NHL, but he just disappeared. No one knows where he went.”

That’s when his wife says, “We should probably get going, Stan.”

He laughs awkwardly and I give him my farewell. “I’ll look him up,” I say.

Some people still remember me, but I’m just like his wife. I can barely remember what it used to be like to be me. What did it even feel like? None of that seems to matter now. When I shut the door, I turn around and walk toward Jacqueline. I sit next to her, amidst the heavy silence between the three of us.

I finally speak up and say, “You’re not supposed to like me, but I want you to know that you’ve been on my mind since the day you left. I guess I knew I’d run away when the going got tough. I’ve never been good at this kind of thing,” I say.

“Love?” she asks.

Even the word makes me roll my damn eyes. But if love is the thing that keeps you coming back, then I’ve got it. I have to face it.

“Yeah. Love,” I say.

“Then maybe you’re just not cut out for this,” she says.

“I disagree. I think I was born for this moment only,” I say.

“You were born to play. That’s what players do. You played me,” she says.

I grab her hand. She doesn’t pull away or say anything when I do, so I touch her leg. “I came back for a reason. And I know you still want me.”

She just calmly stares into my eyes, thinking. “I want you,” I tell her. “No.”

She stands up and wheels the portable crib into the other room. She walks back out and shakes her head. “I’m a fool,” she says.

“And why is that?” I grin.

“Because every time I’m near you, I get roped in somehow,” she says.

Her eyes rise up to mine and my grin slowly fades away. Her hushed breathing matches mine. I place my fingers against the bottom of her shirt. I pull upward. Both of her hands fall to my belt, as she quickly rips it off. When I kiss her, a hunger forms inside of me. My jeans tighten against my cock.

We kiss like wild animals. It all feels the same as it did when we first met, back when we were more naïve about ourselves. I unbutton her skirt and slide my fingers down the front of her panties. When I touch that sweet pussy of hers, I can feel how wet she is. I slide my fingers in and out, and she moans loudly. I place them against her mouth. She opens wide, as I slide my fingers in.

“You like that, don’t you?” I ask her, intently eyeing her.

She nods, but says, “This doesn’t mean I don’t hate you.”

Right now, I don’t care about how much she hates me. She still can’t resist me. I can’t resist her either. Her cheeks are rosy with emotion. My fingers drag across her mouth. She bites my thumb, so I reach out with my teeth and bite her lower lip. She pulls back and stands up.

“You piece of shit,” she says.

“Go ahead. Take all that anger out on me, sweetness,” I say.

I rip off my pants. I can see her swallow when she sees my cock.

“It’s so hard,” she whispers.

“I’ve been dreaming about you,” I say.

“I guess I’ve thought about you a little too,” she pants.

“What have you been thinking about?” I ask her.

She turns her backside to me. She leans against the arm of her couch and turns her head to face me.

“I’ve been thinking about you behind me,” she whispers.

“Keep that ass in the air,” I say.

I walk over to her and mount myself over her. “Wait,” she says. But there’s no waiting. I thrust inside of her and feel all of her warmth take me by surprise. Fuck. I haven’t been with a woman in over a year and it feels too good to control.

She slams her pussy back until my balls slap against her ass. I feel them tighten. Now, I’m the one saying, “Wait,” but she just keeps going, pushing back with angered thrusts.

“I’m not stopping,” she whispers. “I want to cum.”

“Just wait,” I say, exasperated.

I try to pull out, but she rides me like there’s a trophy at the end of all of this. Well, if she wants a gold medal, I’ll give it to her. I’ll give her anything she wants at this point. I just want this for the rest of my life. Her pussy feels mind-numbingly good. When she decides that it’s all over for me, I have to throw in the towel. She’s the only game I’ve ever won and lost at the same time.

“I’m going to fucking blow,” I mutter.

“Blow,” she says.

I don’t have time. I pull out and cum all over her ass. I feel shook, falling to the couch. Then, she turns around and smiles.

“Now it’s time for my turn,” she says.

Without warning, she kneels over me, legs around my waist. I’m still hard as a fucking rock. She sits on my cock and already I’m back in the game. Her tits hang against her chest like tear drops. I push her back down so that they rest against my face. I such on each nipple and feel her begin to rise and fall against me.

She does something surprising. With an angered, hurt look on her face, I feel her hands plummet around my neck. She thrusts down violently so that I’m as deep as I can be inside of her. Her fingers tighten around my neck.

“You want to hurt me. Don’t you?” I ask her.

“Shut up. I’m going to cum,” she says, eyes closed.

My hands fall to her waist. I don’t mind the anger. It just turns me on more. Everything falls with the rhythm of her. I keep her steady, while she rides me. Her hips gyrate when she comes down to the bottom. I thrust until she can barely move. The look on her face is priceless. Her legs shake uncontrollably when she comes back down, and her orgasm keeps her down.

She lets out a loud scream of passionate pleasure. Her palms are flat against my chest. I grab both wrists and prop her up against the couch. I pound my cock hard, while looking into her eyes. She bites my lip, like I did to her earlier, which makes me thrust even harder. I hold her in this position until her orgasm overpowers her. I don’t let her go.

I never let her go.