MERCS
After a great dinner and evening I’m in my bed with Effa in my arms staring at the ceiling and wondering how I’m going to get the treatment for Kiera. Every option I take to get ahead fails. Every step I make to ensure financial gain backfires.
Trixabell failed me—the fucking horse didn’t even finish the race as it fell over during the final leg. Fuck me, I pick a sure thing, and even that’s jinxed.
I can’t get ahead no matter what I do. Money is becoming more and more of an issue as Kiera’s health declines. I need money to send home for Gran and Kiera which is taken care of with my salary from the tour, but I also need money for her treatment and the procedure. Plus, now I need to pay off my debt to Hex. And there’s no way I have anywhere near enough coming in to cover everything right now.
I’m in deep shit. I should talk to Effa about it. She talks so much about being honest and open, but this is embarrassing. I should have known better, and I can’t fathom why I thought placing that bet was a good idea.
But I don’t want to seem like I’m that guy. The guy who’s only with her because of her money. Because if I talk to her about my money issues I know she’s going to offer me an out, and I don’t want that. I don’t want to use her for that.
Then Jett will think he’s right and that’s all I’m here for. And I’m not. I don’t care about Effa’s money. At. All. Fuck! I wouldn’t care if she was penniless. All I care about is her, lying here, wrapped up in my arms, sleeping soundly, with not a care in the world. That’s what I want. Us, together, with nothing coming between us, especially not money.
Letting out a long, heavy sigh, I clench my jaw and turn my head, planting a soft kiss on the top of Effa’s head as it rests in the nook of my shoulder and chest. She mumbles and slowly turns her head up to look at me. It shocks me as I thought she was sound asleep.
She looks up into my eyes and weakly smiles. “That was a heavy sigh… are you lying awake thinking?”
I bring my hand up and gently stroke her cheek, her skin smooth and warm under my fingers. “Yeah, can’t seem to switch off,” I whisper.
She sniffs and rolls slightly, so she’s looking at me a little more comfortably, her eyes baring down into mine intensely. “She’ll be okay. But you have to believe it, Kaden. Without hope, without faith, we have nothing.”
“I know. Thanks. That helps.” Obviously Kiera isn’t the only thing on my mind, but I’m not going to burden Effa with that right now.
I smile and move my hand from her cheek into her hair, gripping it tightly. Her bottom lip draws in by her teeth as her breath catches, and I yank her head up slamming her lips against mine. I kiss her hard and forcefully, full of passion as she rolls on top of me. Our tongues entwining as I kiss her letting her know I appreciate that she’s here for me.
Just as things start to heat up, she slows the kiss down and pulls back slightly. She kisses me once more softly and then looks me in the eyes, panting for breath. “I want you, but a kiss will have to do for now.”
I chuckle and nod, noticing my cock is semi-hard against her as she slides off me and back to my side, slipping in against my chest and resting her head down gently on my pec. “Okay, can I ask why only a kiss, and not a fuck?” I tease.
“Because your sister and Gran are in the house, and I’m being respectful and not fucking you while they’re here. So calm your boner and think nonsexual thoughts, ‘cause you’re not getting laid for two days, mister.”
I chuckle and nod. Fair call. I know neither Kiera nor Gran would mind if Effa and I had sex in the house, but it’s the respectful thing to do, and I like that Effa is being mindful of my family. It’s just another tick in the amazing box that’s Effa.
“Okay, we better get some sleep then. We have a big day tomorrow.”
She leans in softly, pressing her lips to my chest in a tender kiss, sending warmth right through my very soul. It soothes me and makes me feel more at ease than I was a few mere minutes ago.
“Goodnight, rocker princess.”
She giggles. “Goodnight.”
Closing my eyes with a slight smile, I take a deep centering breath and relax, with my girl in my arms, and try to let my mind drift off into the darkness of the night.
After a restless sleep, I woke feeling like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. The three women in my life are here with me, all together, and I should be happy about that. But seeing Kiera, even though she’s putting on a brave face for Effa, is making me rethink my motives of working for money. Maybe I should be spending more time at home. Maybe I should be spending these last few months with my sister.
I don’t fucking know.
All I know is, I want to get this procedure done for her so badly, but I need the money to do that, and with Gran only getting a pension and Kiera obviously unable to work, the burden falls directly on me to provide. So I guess I have no option but to continue working, especially now with the debt I owe Hex. I’m not so sure getting involved with him was such a wise idea now I think about it.
Hindsight and all that.
My mind is flicking from worst case to even worser case.
I’m not in the present at all as I walk down the main street of Ligonier with Gran, Kiera, and Effa.
The Farmer’s Market is on, and the local brass band is playing ‘In the Mood’ by Glenn Miller in the bandstand. The mix of horns, brass, and percussion all playing in a symphony of upbeat tempo is really making the street come alive. The sound so different to the rock played at the Luminous shows that I’m used to. But this sound is the sound of being home and one that I know well. There’s a real commotion of town festivities, but my mind is all over the place right now.
Effa’s hand slides into mine, breaking me from my rambling thoughts as I glance down at her head, covered with an oversized wide brimmed floppy white hat. Her face behind her massive sunglasses is contorted with frown lines as she stares at me. Her disguise, probably not needed for this town, but is there to protect her anyway because Raoul isn’t here.
“What’s on your mind?” She lowers her voice, so Gran and Kiera don’t hear, but they’re too busy looking at a stall in the market to notice.
Sighing, I shake my head. “Nothing. I’m fine.” I wrap my arm around her shoulders and pull her to me, kissing her temple as she frowns even further.
“Mercs, if you want to leave the tour, I fully understand.”
“What, and leave you? No. I’m good. Honestly. I need to stop dwelling on what’s happening and start taking in what’s good. Like the fact that Kiera seems to be having a good day today.”
Effa looks from me to Kiera, who’s wrapping a scarf around her neck and smiling so widely as she shows it off to Gran who’s nodding in approval.
Effa looks back to me and lets out a heavy sigh. “I know you want to protect her, Kaden, but letting it eat you up won’t do you, or her, any good.”
“You’re absolutely right. Let’s have a good day.”
She smiles. “That’s the spirit. Now c’mon, there’s a lava lamp with your name on it over there,” she teases.
I chuckle, walking with her to the stall next to where Kiera and Gran are standing. Glancing at Kiera, she seems happy. She’s still pale and moving slowly, but she’s laughing and smiling and that, honestly, is making me feel better by the minute. Seeing her glowing is fuel driving me to obtain everything I need for her. I will make it happen. I have to. Because a bright light like my sister can’t be dimmed by something so sinister as fucking cancer. I won’t let that happen.
She will beat this.
I will make damn sure of it.
“Kaden,” Kiera calls out.
I smile and raise my brow at her as she walks over holding something in her hand behind her back.
“What mischief have you gotten into this time?” I ask as Effa steps up beside me and Kiera pulls up in front of me.
“Shut up and put your hand out.”
“When did you become so demanding?” I ask.
Kiera reaches out grabbing my hand and turns it palm up. I smile and close my eyes pre-empting her.
“Good lad,” she mocks placing something cold into my hand. It jingles, and I wrap my fingers around it feeling a chain of some sort thread through them, but the main section stays put in my palm. “Aaannnddd… open,” she chimes.
I open my eyes and look down at my hand. Stretching out my fingers, I notice a pair of dog tags. I squish my brows slightly confused until Kiera snorts while leaning in and turning them over. One is engraved with brother and the other with sister. My heart swells with love. I look at her and pull her into a massive hug. She giggles holding my back, and her warmth surrounds me. I adore her so much for finding this for us.
“I love it, Kiera… thank you,” I tell her honestly. I pull back, kissing her forehead and looping the chain over my head. The tags clank against my chest, sitting right against my heart, next to the tattoo of her name.
“It’s nothing much, but I thought you could take it with you on tour to remind you of me, or some sappy shit like that,” she states blasé.
“I don’t need to be reminded of you, Kiera. I think of you every day. But thank you, I will never take it off.”
“It’s true, Kiera, he hardly shuts up about you,” Effa chimes in.
“Really? I thought you’d be way too cool to mention me more than once.”
Effa snorts. “Let’s be honest here, Kiera, you’re the cool one out of the two of you. Am I right?” Effa jokes, and I scoff. Kiera laughs with an exaggerated nod.
“I thought we agreed no gang ups,” I gruff.
Effa leans in. “Pfft! It’s not ganging up if it’s the truth. Right, Kiera?”
Kiera nods. “Oh yeah, a truth has never been more spoken than that Kades. Sorry majority rules.”
I look around for Gran and see her looking at the pumpkin stall. I spin around and walk over to her, but as I turn a bright smile adorns my face. I love that Kiera and Effa get along so well. I thought I’d let Kiera have some time with Effa, seeing as she idolizes her. So I make my way to Gran and step in beside her. “Hey Gran, you gonna make me some of your famous pumpkin pie?”
She chuckles. “I was thinking about it. Do you think a rock star like Effa would like that?”
“Gran there isn’t a sane person in the world who wouldn’t love your pumpkin pie.”
She turns to me and squeezes my cheek. “Suck up,” Gran teases making me laugh as she pays for her pumpkin. I grab it from the vendor and we head off, following behind Effa and Kiera who are now looking at the dream catchers and candle stall.
That’s right up Effa’s alley.
“You hold on tight to that girl, she’s a keeper,” Gran tells me.
I chuckle and nod. “Don’t I know it. I plan on it.”
“I see a light in you, Kaden. A light that’s been extinguished for a long time. You’ve come alive. You’ve been through enough in your life, you don’t need more devastating heartbreak. So whatever you need to do to keep her, you do it.”
“Yes ma’am,” I reply, and she winks at me.
I turn to see Kiera stumble slightly on the spot, and Effa grabs her. I lunge forward along with Gran to catch up to them.
“Kiera,” I call out, running with the pumpkin in my hands. My heart is racing as I dash to get to her. She’s slumped over slightly, with Effa holding her for support as I reach her. I hand Effa the damned pumpkin and scoop Kiera up into my arms. She isn’t heavy with all the weight she’s lost. She looks at me and weakly smiles.
“I’m okay, just a little weak. I think I need some sugar.”
I pant hard as Gran finally catches up, and places her hand on Kiera’s wrist to check her pulse rate.
“You’re a little weak, sweetheart. Do you want to go home?”
Kiera looks over my shoulder as her arms clutch around my neck and she shakes her head. “No. Let’s go to Kammie’s Diner, and have some pie and a soft drink. That should fix my energy levels.”
Glancing over at Gran, she nods, but I know she’s hesitant. I head off toward the diner directly across the road from where we are. Looking to Effa, she’s slightly pale, like she’s had the life scared out of her. So I catch her attention as she swallows hard. I give her a quick smile, but she doesn’t smile back. It’s almost like she’s having trouble holding it together. Her eyes are glistening like she’s about to burst into tears.
It’s only now that I realize she’s not used to this.
She wasn’t prepared for this.
I didn’t prepare her for this.
Fuck!
She’s probably terrified right now.
So I try to settle Effa’s nerves and let her know that Kiera will be fine. “Kiera, how are you feeling now?” I ask as we step from the road onto the footpath in front of Kammie’s.
“A little better. But I know the hit of sugar will fix me right up. Always does. Then I should be okay to keep going,” she replies.
The tension in Effa’s shoulders seems to lift slightly as she looks over at us while I place Kiera back to her feet. Kiera smiles wrapping her arm around my waist while I continue to hold onto her. We head straight into the diner, and I take her directly to a table. It’s quite busy in here today because of the market, but I know Gran will get a rush on the orders. She knows Kammie personally—the joys of being in a small town and all. Gran used to babysit Kammie when she was growing up, pretty much until she went to high school, and they’ve stayed in touch ever since.
I sit Kiera down, then sit next to her as Effa takes a seat beside me.
“This place is amazing,” Effa murmurs as she removes her monstrosity of a hat and shades. Her voice wanders off as she looks around the seventies style diner, complete with retro booths, jukebox, and a milkshake bar. The entire diner is painted in pink and aqua hues, and it’s like cotton candy exploded everywhere in here. Personally, I think it’s overdone, but it’s one of Kiera’s favorite places, and I have to admit Kammie’s creampie is to die for.
“Isn’t it just? I love Kammie’s, I used to come here all the time before…” Kiera pauses, and I notice Effa appears a little lost like she doesn’t exactly know what to say.
“Well, when you get better, you can come back more often. Hey?” I suggest.
“Yeah. Next time when you and Effa come back to see me, we’ll come again.”
Effa smiles this time. “You betcha. I need one of those milkshakes with all that extravagant cream and yumminess on top,” Effa admits as she stares at the young boy who’s sucking on a straw into a milkshake filled jug which is topped with whipped cream, Oreos, chocolate covered pretzels, ice cream, and syrup.
Kiera looks behind her and chuckles. “Oh yeah, the Heart Attack… they’re the best.”
“They’re called… the Heart Attack?”
Kiera and I nod matter-of-factly as Effa laughs. “I love this town.”
Gran comes over and sits down carrying a tray of sodas. “Soda for everyone and creampie is on the way,” Gran announces.
“Thanks, Gran, that’s nice of you. How much do I owe you?” Effa asks.
Gran waves her hand through the air. “Nonsense, my girl. It’s my treat.”
“Great. Thanks. If there’s anything I can do for you guys you let me know. Buy you dinner. Anything.”
Gran puts her hand on Effa’s shoulder. “You’re such a darling, but there’s no need.”
Movement out of the corner of my eye catches my attention, and I glance up to see the waitress headed toward us with our pie. My stomach sinks and my body goes rigid. I let out a small gasp as my jaw clenches and I grit my teeth.
“Mercs, you okay?” Effa asks, reaching out and grabbing my hand as she steps up to our table and places the tray on it.
“Hi guys, it’s so good to see ya’ll again. And Kaden, I had no idea you were back in town. I’m assumin’ you’ve come back for me?”