MERCS
Start of November
Growing up, watching your sister develop into an amazingly beautiful woman, watching her blossom into this bright spark of energy, is something so powerful you can’t describe it. The day we got the diagnosis that she was sick, my world came crashing down around me. Especially because Mom had died from the same thing.
But Kiera has something Mom never had. She has the support and love of the most amazing people behind her. Not just Gran and me, but Effa and all of the people surrounding her. I don’t know what I would have done without Effa’s help. Knowing that without her, we wouldn’t be here today, in the hospital about to go through with the procedure for Kiera. After having the chemo, her body is now ready for my stem cells to merge with her blood and hopefully heal her.
And I’m nervous as fucking hell.
I pace the hospital room as everyone chats like this isn’t the biggest day of my fucking life. A hand reaches out grabbing my arm halting me from pacing, and I turn to see Gran. She looks at me, her eyes glistening, her face worn and weathered like mine is right now, and I take a deep breath as she weakly smiles at me. “She will be fine, Kaden. We’re all here for her. There’s power in numbers. All of us here has to be good energy for her,” Gran offers.
Effa steps up beside Gran and wraps her arm around her. “Absolutely. The more of us thinking about Kiera and wishing her good health, the more likely there’s a better outcome. She’s going to be fine, Kaden. You wait and see. She’ll be back in here in no time, happy and healthy,” Effa encourages.
I nod while taking in a long breath, and lean back against the wall as Effa lets go of Gran, stepping up to me and looking into my eyes. “Trust me. She is fine. I can feel it.”
I love that she’s so calm about this. My beautiful woman is trying to make me feel better. When she says she feels like Kiera’s fine, I believe her. Effa always has this incredible sense of knowing what’s going on around her. So I have to trust her in this. “Thank you, for being here. Thank you for making this happen. If you didn’t step in—”
“Stop! I did step in, and Kiera’s going to be fine. This will work, and she’s going to live a long and happy life.” She glances over to Raoul who’s looking dejected as he sits quietly in a chair by the door. “A long, happy life with Raoul,” she adds just to fucking tease me.
I roll my eyes with a chuckle. “You had to throw that in, didn’t you?”
She giggles as a rolling sound catches my attention, and I turn toward the door to see Kiera being brought in on her bed. My chest squeezes as the room falls into silence.
Kiera lifts her head as she’s wheeled through the door. “Don’t all stop talking on my account. Surely you have gossip you can fill me in on?” she quips. Her voice is hoarse and strained like she’s ridiculously tired. I move forward and grab her hand as she gives me a weak smile, and Gran shifts to the other side of the bed, while Effa steps in beside me.
“How do you feel?” I ask running my thumb up and down the back of Kiera’s hand.
“Tired, but pretty much the same as I did when I went in. It was just a blood transfusion. I wasn’t knocked out. They just gave me some of your super blood. And ba-da-bing, ba-da-boom, I’m cured!”
I let out a small laugh and shake my head. “Easy as that, huh?” I ask.
“Seems so easy for something that costs so much. There must be some sort of big deal aftercare for all this money. I’m expecting lobster and champagne meals.” She giggles, and we all laugh with her.
Gran nods. “And I’ll be here, sweetheart. For all of it. Don’t you worry about a thing.”
I swallow hard and glance to Effa. There’s been a hell of a lot of discussion about the band going back on tour. They have their opening band set up, and they don’t want to keep their fans waiting longer than necessary. I get it. It’s good marketing, but I don’t think in all good conscience I can leave right now.
I look to Effa and then look back down to Kiera. “And I’ll be here for you, too. I’m not going anywhere either. No matter how long it takes.”
I can’t help but feel Effa tense up beside me and feel all the eyes in the room fall to me. I know I’m letting the Luminous crew down, but sometimes—no all the time—family comes first.
Kiera is the one to speak. “Kaden, what about the tour? Isn’t it starting back up soon?”
I wince. “Yeah, but I’m not exactly sure when.”
Luke clears his throat. “Actually, I can help with that. I have a reactivation date for two weeks. I was going to tell everyone this afternoon once we knew you were okay, Kiera, but I guess now is as good a time as any.”
Everyone shifts in the room uncomfortably. I exhale and nod. “I can’t come with you guys. I hope you understand why.” Then I turn to look at Effa, her eyes are sad as she weakly smiles but nods placing her hand on my back for comfort.
Kiera shakes her head and exhales. “No. This is stupid. Kaden, what’s the point?”
I furrow my brows. “Sorry, what?”
Gran smiles and shrugs nodding in agreement. “I agree, Kaden,” Gran states.
“Kades, I’m going to be sitting here…” she waves her hands around, “… in a hospital bed. Doing nothing. Just having blood tests all the time. And what will you be doing if you’re here? Sitting at the end of my bed, texting Effa and wishing you were on tour, but instead you’re wasting your time here. I’ve spent so much of my life sitting around behind closed doors not living my life because I had to be locked away. I won’t let you be left behind and not living your life because of me, Kaden... I’ll be fine. I have Gran, and you can come home for Christmas, just like we always planned. By then I should be feeling better anyway, and you can see the new and improved me.”
I shake my head. “I don’t know.”
“Kaden, please. Don’t stay here for me. Effa needs you. She’s sick, too. Remember? I have someone, I have Gran. Who will Effa have if you’re not with her, being overprotective and overbearing as usual?”
Effa chuckles as I listen to Kiera’s words. I have my sister and my girlfriend, both with illnesses that need caregivers, but Kiera’s right. She does have Gran. Effa will have all of her crew and bandmates with her, but not someone who’ll be with her constantly and care for her like I do. Effa needs me. And as much as I hate to admit it, I want to go. I fucking love her. I need to be around Effa. It would kill me to be away from her not knowing if she’s doing the right things. And then there’s the whole Lighting Director stuff. Fuck! It’s a dream come true being in the rafters with Tank and Jay, and as much as I will miss being home in Ligonier, there is a reason that I left in the first place.
So I could see the world.
So I could be free and live my life.
Kiera’s giving me the freedom to do just that.
Exhaling, I shake my head. “I don’t like the thought of leaving you mid-treatment, Kiera.”
She smiles and tightens her hand on mine. “You’re not. I’ve had the procedure, now it’s all in the details.”
I scoff. “I think there’s a little more to it than that. I know there are still risks involved, Kiera. The stem cells could reject, you could get an infection, there are so many possibilities here Kiera. I don’t want to be away if something happens and you need me.”
She raises her brows and shrugs. “If we need you, we’ll call you. It’s as simple as that, Kaden. Go… please. It will make me happy knowing you’re off living your life and taking care of Effa rather than sitting here wasting your time watching me lying in bed. I mean how fucking boring.”
Everyone chuckles and I groan as I roll my neck and Effa runs her hand into mine. “The second she needs you, Kaden, you get on the band’s jet. Wherever we are. No qualms about it. Right, Luke?” Effa asks, and Luke nods.
“Absolutely. We will make the jet at your disposal twenty-four-seven, Mercs. You come with us, and we will have it on standby at all times.”
Kiera raises her brow, and I throw my hands in the air. “Okay, fine.” The room collectively cheers, even Kiera. “But, I want to check in with you every single day. I need to make sure your progressing according to the schedule.”
“Yes, every day. Morning and night if you have to.”
“Yes, I like that idea even more.”
Effa chuckles cuddling into my side. “Thank you,” she murmurs.
I glance down at her and sigh. “For what?”
“For coming back on tour with me. It means a lot. I know it’s hard leaving Kiera, and I would never have asked you to leave her,” Effa murmurs.
“No, I know, baby. If I could bring her with us, I would. But I don’t want to leave you either. It’s a difficult decision, but being with you is the right thing, Eff. Gran will care for Kiera, and I need to look after you. Plus, Tank can’t handle the lighting on his own.”
She snorts and pushes my chest playfully. “You’re so cocky,” she teases.
I smile and lean in kissing her lips playfully, and she kisses me back, and I feel like I’m making the right choice. It was a fucking hard one, though. Leaving Kiera is going to be difficult, there’s no doubt about it. But I also need to watch out for Effa, give her daily injections, and make sure her health is smooth with her new diagnosis. Plus, I need to start working again, because now that I don’t need to save for Kiera’s procedure, the money that I had put away—which doesn’t amount to much considering all the other costs Kiera’s treatments have incurred—I’m going to give to Effa to begin paying her back. So, I’m going to contact Hex and see if I can make partial payments rather than paying him in one lump sum.
Maybe that’s the way to go.
See if I can talk him into paying it off over time.
I have no idea what he expects.
All I know is I need to be working. So going back on tour is definitely the right thing to do. Because having a bookie like Hex riding my ass, well, that’s not something I want coming out of the woodwork, and I have no idea how much longer I can keep this secret under wraps if he doesn’t accept my terms.