MERCS
“The love I feel is definitely there. There’s no hiding it anymore, and it has to work this time—” I’m interrupted by a gasp behind me, and turn to see Effa leaving through the door of the crew room.
“Shit!”
“What’s wrong?” Lilah asks.
“I have to go. Thanks for calling. I hope you got what you needed to hear. I’m sorry I have to cut it short. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Kaden, honestly, I’m glad you’re happy.”
The surprise call with Lilah, has left me feeling like everything I feel for Effa is now crystal clear, and has helped Lilah realize that there’s no future for us. My future firmly lies with Effa, but right now I need to go after her because she’s only heard one side of our conversation, and I’m not too sure what she actually heard to make her react and leave like that.
I’m sure she’ll still be here somewhere, and I need to find her. I doubt she’ll leave without me, so I head off to her green room. As I peer inside, there’s no one there. So I figure I’ll try back at the stage. As I walk toward it, I hear two voices. Effa’s and Jett fucking Jones. I stop in my tracks to see him sitting next to her, Raoul on the other side.
At least she has security with her.
But Jett has his hand on her knee, and she’s making no effort to push him away but Raoul steps in removing Jett’s hand. Jett wraps his arm around Effa’s shoulders, but quickly removes it again after a death glare from Raoul. Then I watch as Jett kisses her head.
That’s all I need to see. Anger surges through me. Jett is not meant to be anywhere near her. I know Raoul is there watching, but Jett having his hands on what’s mine is causing my body to shake in an undeniable rage. Letting out a groan of frustration, I race forward, my feet stomping the ground so forcefully you can’t mistake the sound as Effa, Jett and Raoul all look up to see me approaching. I watch as Effa’s face falls like she is apprehensive.
Raoul looks emotionless, but it’s Jett’s face that really pisses me off as he beams at me with such a cocky smirk that I want to rip into him with my bare hands.
“Mercury… seems you’ve been neglecting my little cupcake—”
I don’t waste time moving in like an untamed beast and grab Jett by his collar yanking him away from Effa. She squeals as I pull him up from his seated position.
Raoul stands up but doesn’t move to stop me as I push Jett so hard and shove him backward. He falls like a fucking rag doll onto the side of the stage. His legs and arms fly up into the air. The thump of his back colliding with the hard stage is unmistakable as he chuckles to himself, and I stand at the side of the stage glaring at the fucking asshole while Raoul comes to my side assessing me.
“Stay the fuck away from Effa, Jett. Haven’t you been told to keep your distance?” I yell at him but he lets out a bemused laugh sitting up on the edge of the stage while shaking his head as he straightens out his shirt and glares at me.
“Look Mercury, I can’t help it if she craves my attention—”
“Jett, stop!” Effa calls out as I glance at her. She wraps her arms around herself obviously needing comfort in this moment.
“Do you think you can treat her the way you do, Mercury, and she’ll still come crawling back to you?” Jett sneers.
I let out a stifled laugh and lunge forward toward him, making him jolt back against the stage as Raoul places his hand on my chest to stop me from actually going on full attack again.
“You have no idea what you’re even talking about, Jett. Get the fuck out of here, before I do something I most probably won’t regret.”
His arrogant smirk does nothing for my temper.
“You’re a little too cocky, Mercury. Shit like that will come back to bite you in the ass one day. You wait and see.”
I raise my brow. “Is that a threat?” I step forward and Raoul hardens his hand on my chest pushing me back.
Jett stands up jumping down from the stage, glancing from Effa to me, and then grins mischievously. “That’s a promise…” He looks over at Effa. “Call me when you need a real man, cupcake,” he goads and then he takes off away from us down the hall.
I grit my teeth, my fists balling so hard my fingernails push into my skin. I want to take off after him and punch him into the middle of next week, but Effa swore me to no violence. I promised her. So I try to keep myself as controlled as possible.
I turn back to face her, her eyes glistening, the threat of tears imminent as she folds in on herself. I slump my body remembering her gasp as she left the room when I was on the call with Lilah. I spin and race up to her, taking her into my arms. Her skin is so soft and I love how she fits into my body perfectly. She feels like home, but there’s a definite hesitation in her posture that unsettles me.
“Effa, I don’t know what you heard.”
Her body sags against mine as her bottom lip quivers. I furrow my brows at her reaction and I grip onto her shoulders and look deep into her eyes. “Baby, what’s gotten you so upset?”
She sniffs, her eyes dropping down and looking away from me. “Are you going back to Lilah?”
Tensing up. I shake my head letting out a confused cough. “What?”
“It’s okay if you are, she’s your childhood sweetheart, and—”
I lean down forcing my lips to hers interrupting her completely inaccurate thought processes. Her eyes open wide as she looks at me, and I kiss her hard, intense, and full of lust as she hesitates to kiss me back, but eventually she relaxes into the kiss and melts into my arms as her tongue finally finds mine. She tastes like berries, and I wrap myself around her trying to give her the comfort she needs so badly right now. Slowly, I edge back and look deep into her eyes as I bring my hand up and swipe a stray hair from her face. Her eyes are still glistening, the sparkle intense as I frown and shake my head. “I’m sorry you heard what you think you heard. Effa, there’s no way in hell I’m ever getting back with Lilah. You’re my future. Always.”
She furrows her brow and sighs. “I’m so glad to hear that, but the things you were saying to her… ‘love was never an issue between you,’ ‘you don’t know what the future holds for you,’ ‘you can’t deny your feelings.’ Then the real kick to my heart ‘the love I feel is definitely there. There’s no hiding it anymore, and that it has to work this time?’ I mean c’mon Kaden, how can you explain all of that when talking to your ex?”
I weakly smile holding onto her tighter and shake my head. “Oh… Effa, no wonder you’re so twisted up. Love was never an issue between Lilah and me, that was true, but that was past tense. As for not knowing what the future holds? I was talking about you and me, not Lilah and me. The part about not denying my feelings… that was about you, too. I can’t deny my feelings for you. And the part about it working this time…” I chuckle slightly, “… Effa that means it has to work with you, because last time with Lilah it sure as fuck didn’t. Baby, you got it all mixed up. I was talking about you and me. And the part about the love I feel is definitely there… that’s because… I love you, Effa.”
She raises her brow, a small smile creeping up on her lip. “Oh…”
“Yeah… I’m sorry you walked in and heard all that. I know it must have been confusing, and I really hate that for a moment you thought I was going to leave you for Lilah. But Effa, I’m with you. When I say you’re mine, it means I’m yours, too. I’m in this, baby. I’m not going anywhere. Trust that.”
She moves in embracing me so tightly I can hardly breathe, as she wraps herself around me completely.
“I trust you and I’m not sure why I reacted like that. I should have stayed and talked it over. I love you, too. But why was Lilah calling you anyway?”
“I had no idea it was her when I picked up. She just wanted to clear the air. I saw the area code from Ligonier and panicked. I thought the worst. Thinking it was possibly the hospital with news of Kiera, so I answered, and then when it was Lilah I thought I owed her an explanation. After the shitstorm of finding her with Johnny, I never spoke to her again. Then seeing her in Ligonier and how hopeful she was of a reunion, I knew I needed to tell her all about you and how I feel. The call was more out of obligation than anything else.”
“So how stupid do I feel right now?” Effa’s eyes fall to the floor.
I place my hand under Effa’s chin and lift her head up, so her eyes are looking into mine. “Nothing about you is stupid. I get the misunderstanding, but never walk away from me again. We’ve both had our moments dwelling on each other’s past. It’s out of the way now, and we should only be looking to our future.”
“Yeah, our future is all that matters.”
I hate that Lilah had a chance at ruining us. I hate that Jett was there to pick up the pieces when Effa fell. I’m going to have to watch that. Because if there’s one thing that has my stomach churning right now it’s that promise from Jett that something will come back and bite me on the ass. All I know is Jett is not done with us just yet, and whatever he has in store I know it won’t be good. I need to be on guard because if I know Jett like I think I do, then Effa needs more protection now than ever. And I’m going to make damned sure that happens.
EFFA
Two Days Later
I’m on a high from the concert and I’m in the hotel suite with Mercs getting ready for the after party. Tonight we’re having the after party in the bar downstairs. It means only our people will be able to enter. It’s the right move having it on the hotel premises because it’s easier for our security needs because Luke has been ramping up our security detail over the last two days.
“Are you ready to go, baby?” Mercs asks as I place my heeled shoes on. I’m changing out of my platform boots from the concert, because those things are so damned uncomfortable.
“Yeah, I’m good to go,” I call out just as Mercs’ cell starts to ring.
We both look up and I wince wondering who could be calling at this time of night. He furrows his brows too as he pulls his cell from his jean’s pocket glancing to the screen. “It’s Kiera.”
I smile and nod. “You should take it.”
He swipes the call. “Hey booger-butt.” He sits down on the edge of the bed as I walk up to him and his smile falls as he looks up at me. “Yeah, I have time to talk.”
I nod as he frowns at me apologetically and I tilt my head toward the door. “I’ll give you some space to chat. I’ll meet you downstairs at the party,” I say in a hushed voice and he nods giving me a weak smile as he moves his hand out giving mine a tight squeeze. I blow him a kiss and then turn exiting the suite to see Raoul at the door. I grin at him and he nods to me as I link my arm with his.
“No Mercs tonight, mon petit oiseau?” he asks.
“He’ll come later, he’s just chatting to Kiera.”
Raoul nods. “This Kiera, sounds like a lovely girl.”
Grinning wide, warmth floods through my chest. “She is Raoul, she really is.”
He leads me to the elevator and we head down toward the bar where the party is in full swing. The heavy bass is pumping through the air and I smile as we walk up to the cordoned off area and are allowed access to the VIP party in the hotel bar. We walk in, and I notice Andi’s in a booth drinking, looking angry as per normal. Casey’s huddled in the corner with a couple of our groupies doing some lines in private. Alana and Kristy are in a booth with Luke, while everyone else is mingling and chatting. The party atmosphere is alive and well.
I love our after parties, and while I’m not up for my usual party-like-a rock-star-behavior anymore, I still like the vibe of these things.
Glancing to Andi, she looks so down. She appears depressed and I hate that she’s obviously going through something. We haven’t talked much since she threw that pixie joke line at me, and I hate that there’s tension between us. So I steady my shoulders, and head off toward her booth to try and rectify the situation right now.
Raoul steps up to the side of the booth and stands guard. Andi looks up noticing me as I slide in opposite her, and her lip turns up in a snarl. She doesn’t say anything, but continues to down her whiskey.
Gnawing on my bottom lip, I sigh and place my hands on the table in front of me. “Andi… I love you.”
She glances up at me, her brow raised like she’s confused. “What?”
“I love you.”
“Oh… I heard you, I’m just confused as to why you’re telling me that.”
I lean in grabbing her hand across the table. Her eyes open wide like she’s surprised I’m reaching out and trying to ease the tension between us. She sinks into her seat when I thread my fingers through hers joining our hands.
“I know that something’s happening with you. You’re lashing out at the people you love because of it, but I want you to know that despite all of that… I love you anyway. You’re one of my best friends and whatever you’re going through, I’m here for you.”
Her eyes droop and she swallows hard sinking into her seat. “I’m sorry, Eff. You’re not a pixie joke that was so fucking harsh.”
Nodding, I shrug. “It was, but I knew you didn’t mean it… so let’s talk about you. Why are you hating on, Tank?” I ask, trying to get her to open up to me.
She weakly smiles taking another sip of her drink. “Tank? I don’t hate him. He just pushes for answers I’m not ready to give.”
Nodding, I tilt my head. “So, you know the answer, though?”
She sniffs and nods. “I think so.”
Looking over her, her hair is now colored onyx black, her eyeliner and shadow the same dark tones. Her clothing all deep dark colors and moody, and I wonder what’s gotten her in this dark state. “Andi, you know me. You know me sometimes better than I know myself. But sometimes if you can’t figure it out for yourself, talking it out with other people can help?”
She nods and throws back the last of her drink, probably for liquid courage. “Tank… he’s amazing.”
Maybe she does really like him after all?
“But when we had that threesome with that blonde chick, it just emphasized what I already thought was happening to me. Well, not happening. It’s not something that happens. Fuck, now I’m babbling.”
“Babble all you want….” I shrug. “I have time.”
“Effa, I think… well, I like Tank… I mean, I really like him, he’s amazing and kind and great in bed. But I think I might have… gay tendencies.”
I open my eyes wide and grin. I had my suspicions, but I was never truly sure. “You think you’re gay?” I ask, and she winces shaking her head.
“No… maybe… I don’t know. This is why I’m so fucked up. I can’t decide.” She screws up her face in confusion. “I like men… I like women…” she trails off.
I squeeze her hand tighter. “Andi…” She looks at me, and for the first time I see vulnerability in her, not the hard-hitting crazy, angry chick I’ve grown to love. But a scared, unsure woman trying to find herself. “You’re bi. It’s okay to like both men and women. There’s nothing to be so angry over.”
She looks at the ceiling like this is a revelation. “Bisexual…” The word rolls off her tongue. “I never thought of it like that. I was so caught up in trying to figure out if I was gay or straight that I never thought for one moment I could be both. This has been eating me up for months, and has made me more than a little cranky, but the threesome brought it all to a head for me. Man, why didn’t I talk to you sooner?”
I let out a small chuckle. “Because this is something you needed to wrap your head around first. But I’m glad you talked to me about it, and I’m glad I helped.”
Andi looks to me and weakly smiles. “Even though I think I have a label now… not that I needed a label, but I’m still confused. Do I start something with Tank, because I really like him? Or, do I take time to explore this side of me? Though, I am worried about what people will think.”
Waving my hands through the air, I snort. “Since when do you care what people think? Only you know the answers to those questions. In my opinion Tank’s amazing, and who knows, you might be able to explore more with him. Seems to me he’s up for pretty much anything. You will only know by talking with him.”
Andi nods. “Yeah, you’re right. I just have to build the courage to discuss my feelings with him. We don’t tend to talk, it more physical with us…” She reaches out and grabs my hand. “I’m sorry I snapped at you that time. I wish I’d have opened up to you that day. I feel like a fucking bitch for what I said.”
“Andi, stop. Now you know what’s going on with you, take that knowledge and turn your sadness into empowering energy. Be happy and lift yourself up, knowing you can be anything you want to be.”
“Are you giving me one of your enlightening pep talks?”
I chuckle. “Of course, it’s what I do.”
She smiles wide, just as a loud ruckus appears at the back of the bar. We turn our heads to see two of the Swift Division band members going at it in a full on argument which quickly escalates into a fist fight. I can’t quite hear what they’re disagreeing about over the heavy thumping of the bass music.
Raoul looks to me for guidance.
“Go! Handle it. I’m fine here with Andi. You need to break them up before it gets out of control.”
Raoul signals Cooper and the other security team members to help, as he rushes off to break up the all-in brawl that’s now broken out on the other side of the bar.
I purse my lips and glance to Andi as she shakes her head and lets out a bemused chuckle. “I swear I don’t understand the members of that band. At. All.”
“What, even me?” a deep husky voice echoes as we turn to see Jett stride up to the booth as he carries a beer and a fruity looking cocktail. My muscles tense slightly as he leers down at me, and Andi groans.
Jett moves in, sliding right in next to me, his leg shifting into position against mine, and I cringe at the closeness between us. Andi shakes her head curling up her lip, as Jett slides the cocktail toward me.
“Yeah, especially you, Jett. Thanks for the chat, Effa. You’ve been great. But his arrival is my cue to leave,” Andi announces as she stands up from the booth.
I open my eyes wide pleading with her not to go, but she shrugs and walks off leaving me effectively trapped in the booth with Jett.
He turns to look at me and smiles that mischievous smile and I weakly smile back at him. “Hi Jett.”
“Cupcake, I got you your favorite cocktail. It’s delicious… just like you.”
A shudder runs down my spine at his words, and I tilt my head and take the drink from him. “Thanks,” I say and place the straw in my mouth not wanting to antagonize him. It tastes delicious, the perfect tropical blend. “Is there something you wanted, Jett?” I murmur over the heavy thumping music, wondering when Mercs is going to get here and what the hell he’s going to do when he sees Jett here with me.
I should get up. I should tell Jett to leave.
But Raoul is occupied with the fight, and I don’t want to do anything to piss Jett off while I have no one around to help me. I’m kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place right now.
Where the hell is Mercs?
Jett grins wrapping his arm around my shoulders, and I fold in on myself from his unwelcome touch. “So I was thinking… maybe after the tour, you and me should keep in contact.”
I take a long sip of my drink trying to think of what the hell I’m going to reply to that. I absolutely don’t see myself staying in touch with him—let’s face it, Mercs would have a fucking hernia.
If I had my way I wouldn’t be talking to him right now.
So this seems a little like a moot point for me.
“Yeah…. maybe,” I state as he pulls me into his side, and I swallow hard while looking to Raoul and all of our security team, who are now pulling members of Swift Division apart from each other as they continue to fight amongst themselves.
I take another long sip of my drink and Jett smiles at me.
His finger slides out and he wipes the condensation from the edge of my cocktail glass then he smiles wide. “It’s a nice drink, isn’t it?”
I nod, and continue drinking not knowing what else to do. But this cocktail must have a hell of a lot of alcohol because the buzz is hitting me already. I pull back and take a deep breath as a wave of dizziness hits me, and my stomach starts to swirl.
“You okay, cupcake? You’re looking a little… hazy?”
I blink a few times, my vision is starting to become blurry as I fall forward slightly into the table.
Jett puts his hand on my back to comfort me. “Whoa there, cupcake… I think you need to relax a little. I can help you with that.”
I shake my head as I try to stand, nerves running through me as I stumble on the spot and almost fall back to the seat. Jett stands with me, and takes me into his arms holding me upright.
“I don’t feel so g-good,” I stutter and he stifles a laugh.
“It’s okay, cupcake. I got you. I’ll make you feel sooo good.”
I try to shrug out of his grip, but he starts to walk with me on my unsteady feet. My body isn’t doing what I want it to, as he practically drags me along with him toward the exit. “I need to go to my room, I don’t feel good,” I say as I sway in his arms. A wave of undeniable dizziness swarms my head like a typhoon and I can’t seem to get my bearings. The music is blaring and my body feels like a hurricane is rushing through it. I can’t even seem to see straight as everything is blurring into itself. Waves of color and shapes swirl around me.
I feel sick.
I can’t focus.
I’m panicking.
Jett drags me out of the party and into what I’m guessing is the foyer—the worst part being I’m incapable of stopping him.
My eyes focus just long enough to catch a glance of Mercs. “Mercs, h-help m-me,” I whisper.