MERCS
It’s been a crazy week of appointments, but finally, Effa and I are back in Ligonier after having to stay on in Pittsburgh for five days longer than expected. Doctor Wakefield wanted Effa to be close by once she started the hormone replacement therapy for a few days, just to make sure she was adjusting before we came back, and also to make sure I was doing okay with giving her the injections. Which I seem to have mastered exceptionally well. The first one was the hardest, but with the doctor teaching me every step it seems easy now.
It was good, empowering even, to know I can be a part of Effa’s recovery. So at least I can be here to help her maintain her health, and I certainly don’t intend on going anywhere. So for the rest of our lives, I will be helping her with her treatment.
Whatever she needs.
Although it was hard to be away from Kiera, I knew Gran had her under control. And I also knew there were a bunch of my friends and crew around to support them if need be. They weren’t alone and would be taken care of. I had Tank going to visit every day, and I know Kiera’s doing fine. Chemo is a bitch, and yeah she’s sick as fuck, but goddamn if she isn’t a fighter. And she’s fighting one hell of a battle to make sure this procedure works.
But for right now, Effa and I are having brunch with her father and Livvy at the diner. Livvy picked the place, and neither of us had the heart to tell her we didn’t want to go to Kammie’s seeing as it’s their last day here. So Effa and I are going to suck it up. Who knows, Lilah might not even be working today.
Fingers fucking crossed.
“Are you ready to go?” I call out to Effa as I pull on a leather jacket.
She rounds the corner looking smoking hot in her boho pants and woolly sweater, along with a scarf that matches the pattern on her pants. Even though it’s starting to get colder and we need to dress up warm, she still manages to look like the free-spirited woman I know, the woman I’ve fallen madly for. I can’t help but smile at her.
“Yep… why are you smiling at me like that?” she asks.
I drop my smile and furrow my brows. “Like what?”
“Like you’re thinking something ominous and conniving.”
I chuckle, reaching out and grabbing her. She squeals, and I wrap my arms around her waist pulling her tight to me. “Just thinking I’m one lucky son of a bitch, that’s all.”
She snorts, shaking her head and rolling her eyes. “You’re getting sappy, you softy. Now c’mon, we gotta go,” she jests breaking free from my grip and walking away from me.
I chuckle, glancing down at her ass as she sashays out of the room, and I shake my head loving the view as I follow her down the stairs. Kiera and Gran are in the kitchen, and we make our way in there to let them know we’re heading out for the morning. Kiera’s sitting at the breakfast bar looking cozy in her pajamas and beanie, while Gran is wearing a Christmas apron already and is baking something that smells delicious in the oven.
“That smells amazing,” Effa coos as we step up to the breakfast bar.
Gran opens the oven pulling out a tray of gingerbread men. “Tis the season, sweetheart,” Gran sings placing the tray on the sink and waving her mitt over the top to cool them down.
“Isn’t it a little early to be cooking Christmas treats seeing as it’s October?” I ask and Kiera and Gran both scoff.
“Never. And anyway, we wanted you both to have some, just in case you can’t make it back for Christmas.”
“Guys! You know I’ll be coming home for the holidays, even so, I’m not sure if I will go back on tour with the girls yet. All depends on what’s happening here. But I’m not going to miss Christmas for anything, and Effa will be with me, right?” I ask, and Effa smiles wide.
“Sure will. I know we’re not one hundred percent sure on when the tour is kicking off again, but it will break for Christmas, and there’s nowhere we’d rather be than with you guys.”
Kiera jumps off her stool, her face pale and she seems to have no energy as she steps up to my side and leans in cuddling me. “Thank you, Kaden. I love having you around so much. I just want to spend as much time as possible with you.”
A somber tone fills the air, and I wrap my arms around Kiera feeling the need to cuddle her and to be close to her. I know she’s getting weaker. I can see it in the way she moves, the way she acts. It scares me and so coming home for the holidays if we do go back on tour, is going to be a major thing for me, because spending as much time with my sister is my main priority.
“Me too, booger-butt, you know I love you. And I promise when I get home tonight… you, me, that sofa, we’re getting our movie fix on.”
Kiera smiles wide and nods. “Deal. As long as you lay off Raoul, he’s been super sweet to me.”
I groan while rolling my eyes. “Fine. Only marginally fine, though.” I chuckle. “But seriously, we have to go. Moral of the story I’ll be here for Christmas, and I can spend all my time with you. Okay?” I lean out embracing her. She holds onto me tightly, and I smile leaning down and kissing her temple.
“Right. We have to go. Brunch is calling,” I tell her and she smiles at me and then Effa.
“Have fun, kids,” Kiera quips.
I roll my eyes yanking her beanie down over her eyes as I let her go. Her sweet laughter fills the air as I grab Effa’s hand and walk with her out the door and down the street toward Kammie’s.
We make it to the diner quickly, and I reach out for her hand again. She laces her fingers with mine, and we walk inside. I take a deep breath, trying my hardest not to look around and seem obvious, but I can’t help it as my eyes wander over to the counter to look for Lilah. Her strawberry blonde hair catches my attention straight away as our eyes lock. The plate in her hand dropping to the counter with a clunk as she spots me. Effa turns to look at her and sighs as I look away hating that she has to be here.
Effa tightens her hand on mine, and I squeeze her back. We walk through the diner to where I see Donny and Livvy sitting in a booth at the back, which suits me perfectly. I won’t have a view of the counter from there so I won’t have to worry about prying eyes.
We walk up to the booth, and Livvy’s eyes light up as she notices us approaching. “Oh… hi guys. Welcome back. It’s such a shame you’ve only come back to Ligonier on our last day in the States.” She sniffs jumping up from the booth to give Effa a tight squeeze.
Effa hugs her back, and I smile leaning in to give Donny a handshake, but he pushes my hand out the way and stands up to embrace me over the table. I chuckle and hug him back.
Effa snickers and then leans in after me to embrace her father. “Hi, Daddy.”
“Baby girl, I’m so proud of you. I’m sorry we have to go home so quickly after your diagnosis. If you need us, though, I can shift things around and make it so we can stay?” Donny suggests, and Effa shakes her head.
“No. Thanks, Dad, for everything. I’ve disrupted your lives for long enough. Livvy has to get back to her students, and you have to go back to your life, too. I can’t keep you all to myself… even though I want to.”
Donny and Livvy sit down in the booth, and we follow on the opposite side as we all get comfortable. I pick up the menu and look at it as Livvy reaches out for Effa’s hands over the table. “Now darling, you know if you ever need anything we’re only a phone call away. We might be chillin’ at the pad, but that doesn’t mean we can’t come right back here lickety-split.”
I stifle a laugh at how Livvy always talks like she’s trapped in the seventies. But somehow she manages to make it cool again. I think it’s just her way. I really like her. She has an aura about her, it’s nurturing. She’s good to be around.
“Thanks, Livvy, I’ve loved having you guys here. It means so much you came all this way for me… for us. We’ve all loved having you here.”
I smile and nod. “I agree. It’s been great meeting you,” I say as someone appears to our side. We all look up to see Lilah looking very stone-faced holding a notepad and pen.
I tense up as does Effa while I glare at Lilah wondering what the hell she wants.
“Welcome to Kammie’s. Can I take your order?” Her tone’s flat and unwelcoming as I let out an exhale louder than I meant to, making Donny look to me, then to Lilah, then back to me again.
“I think, we’ll all have a round of creampie and some of those famous Heart Attack milkshakes. What do you say, guys?” Donny asks.
I nod, agreeing with anything just to get rid of Lilah.
“Sounds great,” Effa replies, folding up her menu and handing it to Lilah as she looks at her chewing on her bottom lip furiously.
Lilah grabs all of our menus, places her notepad in her apron and walks off, her feet stomping loudly as she leaves. I relax back into the booth and shake my head.
Donny looks at me and clears his throat. “That was your ex, wasn’t it?”
I groan and crack my neck to the side. “Yeah… long story.”
“Seems like there’s bad blood there?” Livvy queries.
“Oh, yeah… there is.”
“From you or her?” Donny asks, and I shake my head.
“Her, Donny. She’s the reason I left Ligonier,” I reply and Donny raises his brow.
“Ooh… I see… oh, well, her loss is my daughter’s gain. More fool her I say,” Donny beams.
“Exactly. Without that crap happening, I wouldn’t be here today with Effa by my side living in utter contentment,” I reply wanting her dad to remember how I feel about Effa as I look into her eyes while she smiles.
“Oh, he’s so sweet. Isn’t he sweet, Donny?” Livvy chimes and I chuckle.
“He’s saying all the right things, that’s for sure.”
Effa chuckles leaning her head on my shoulder as Donny looks at me and nods in mutual understanding. He knows I’m going to take care of his little girl, for the rest of my life. I won’t let anything, especially not Lilah come between us.
And as if on cue, Lilah turns up at our table carrying a tray with our food and drinks. She places them on the table as an awkward silence befalls us all. I try not to look at Lilah as she lifts up the tray and huffs. “Enjoy your meal.” Her voice is low, almost like she’s sad. It sends a shudder through me as I keep my eyes down low, purposely not looking at her.
Lilah goes to walk off when Effa reaches out grabbing her arm. I can’t help but look up this time as I furrow my brows. Lilah turns back looking at Effa who’s holding onto her arm.
Lilah glares at Effa as she lets her go and sighs. “Lilah, I know there’s bad blood between you and Kaden. What you did to him all that time ago… well, yeah, that was unforgivable. But I’m going to be spending a hell of a lot more time in Ligonier, so we need to all get along. I don’t want us coming into Kammie’s and avoiding each other. I’d like us to be friends or at the very least civil to each other. I’d like for you and Kaden to move past what happened. We all know there’s no going back for you two. So instead of going back, move forward…” she looks to me and then back to Lilah, “… both of you. You’re both holding onto so much pain from the past. If you just let it go, we could save all the awkward tension every time we see each other.”
I take a deep breath knowing that holding onto this anger isn’t healthy, and what fucking good is it doing anyway especially now that I’ve sorted my shit with Johnny. I don’t want Lilah back—ever. So what’s the point in hanging on to this bad blood between us? There’s none. So if Lilah’s willing to let this go and move forward, then I will too.
Lilah takes a deep breath standing up a little taller. “Seein’ y’all come into my town… it’s a little hard to swallow. Knowin’ Kaden’s moved on to bigger and brighter things… better things. Yeah… it’s hard. While I stayed here, doin’ the same old stuff, bein’ the same old Lilah. My life has become stagnant while Kaden moved forward. And seein’ y’all here, happy, and together… it hurts. I still hold feelin’s for ya, Kaden, I’ve been quite clear ‘bout that. But seein’ the way you look at Effa, I know ya never looked at me that way, even when we were totally serious ‘bout one another. It’s just I wanted my life to be somethin’, too… and well, I’m nothin’ more than a diner girl. You got out there, Kaden. You did what you said you were gonna do. You found someone special, and I’m left here bein’ borin’ and without you. You were the love of my life, and I monumentally screwed it up. I have to live with that now. I’m jealous of the life you’ve created, and the amazin’ people you’ve met. I mean fuck! Effa you just proved how amazin’ y’all are, by talkin’ to me like that. I’m sorry if I’ve made things awkward for you guys, I promise I’ll try to not be so utterly jealous of y’all from now on, though.”
Now, I feel even fucking worse. I knew she wanted me back, and that her somber looks were because she was pining for me and for a better life. And I’m throwing it in her fucking face every time I walk in with the Luminous crew and with Effa by my side. I’m showing her what she missed out on. I feel like shit, but I think I can help her.
“I’m sorry I never looked at you that way, Lilah, you’re right… but I do know someone who does. You need to give Johnny a chance. He’s only holding back out of respect for me, but there’s no point in that. If you two have an attraction then why not explore it? Don’t hold back because of me. Honestly, though, I am sorry about how things went.”
“No. I’m the one who needs to apologize, Kaden. For everythin’. I made my life the way it is, and I’m the only one who can fix it. I just need to figure out how and with who.”
Effa weakly smiles and grabs Lilah’s hand. “You’re a strong, independent woman, Lilah. You can do absolutely anything you put your mind to. Just believe in yourself, and you can achieve greatness.”
“She’s right, Lilah. That’s what I told Effa and look at what she’s achieved. If my Effa can do what she’s done from a small town in Australia, then imagine what you can do,” Donny encourages.
I smile, looking up at Lilah and nod. “You have the strength to be anything you want, Lilah… I believe in you.”
She looks at me, her eyes watering and she nods as she blinks rapidly trying to keep the tears at bay. “Thank you, all of y’all. I better go, though. I do have customers. But tomorrow, I’ll have a chat with Johnny and see where things go.”
“There you go, I’m sure it will all work out for you. Life is for living and not regretting,” Effa chimes as she smiles at Lilah.
She looks at me and nods her head once, and I nod back. We’ve tried to clear the air, there’s still shit we should probably hash out, but at least it’s a step in the right direction. At least we can move forward without this bullshit tension we’ve had surrounding us, and it’s all because Effa stepped in and attempted to clear the air. She’s very special my woman.
Shaking my head, I look to Effa as she faces me and Lilah walks off. I chuckle and Effa smiles so wide I wanna kiss every inch of that smile from her face. “You…” I murmur and she continues to grin.
“You’re welcome,” she replies leaning in and planting a kiss on my lips, the tingle shooting straight down my spine like it does every single time I kiss her, and all the while Livvy and Donny keep chuckling opposite us.
“That’s my daughter, always the peacekeeper and making people feel their worth. I’m proud of you, Effa. That can’t have been easy for you,” Donny beams.
“I hated that she always looked so sad when she was around us. Tension is never a good thing. People should be happy and carefree, live in the now, and spend every day in the moment. Don’t waste it being hostile about shit that can be sorted out or even fixed. Right?”
I glance at her and nod. “Right. I knew you were in my life for a reason. You make me see straight and keep me in line.”
She smiles and grabs the fork for her pie, spooning a piece and bringing it to her mouth. “And I need you to keep me in line… and for pie… mainly for pie.” She smirks, shoving it into her mouth then lets out a small moan as the rest of us laugh while she devours the creampie.
“So darling, how long till you can go back on tour?” Livvy asks.
Effa shrugs and her smile falls slightly. I know she wants to get back to it sooner rather than later for her fans. But she needs to put herself first and foremost. Plus, I’m not sure I want to go back so soon, with Kiera still going through her treatments and with her procedure looming.
“The doctor thinks I should wait it out until the start of the New Year and go back in January sometime. The only trouble is that’s nearly four months away, and I feel like that’s too long for the fans to wait.”
Pursing my lips, I exhale clenching my jaw. I know she wants to go back, but surely she knows her recovery is more important.
“When do you want to go back?” Livvy asks.
She shrugs. “Early November… December at the latest.”
I huff, and Donny shifts uncomfortably in his seat as Livvy looks to me and then shifts her eyes back to Effa. “Darling, don’t you think you might be pushing it a little? December’s a hard month. It’s Christmas… will people really want to go to a concert in December?”
Effa smiles. “Bands tour in December, Livvy. We won’t set up dates around the holiday period, though. I know it’s totally doable.”
“But are you able to do it, Effa? I mean, you need to think about whether you’re actually capable of performing that many concerts in a row. You need to really think this through. You don’t want to start up again and then have to postpone. That would do more damage than good to be perfectly frank with you,” Donny suggests.
Exactly what I was thinking.
She weakly smiles and nods. “I’m not planning anything just yet. I need to talk it through with Luke and see what he thinks. I need to see how I’m feeling in a few weeks and we can reassess then. Nothing’s set in stone, for now anyway.”
Donny and Livvy nod as I relax a little knowing she isn’t set in her ways completely. She’s so damn headstrong, it will be hard to shift once she’s made her mind up.
“So, what are you going to do with your spare time?” Livvy asks, and Effa turns to look at me raising her brow like she has something on her mind.
I wonder what she’s about to say as she turns back to Livvy and takes a deep breath. “Well, I have this idea. I haven’t spoken to anyone about it yet, so I’d like to run it by all of you to see what you think.” She swallows hard and clears her throat. “So, going through this experience of being drugged got me to thinking. Maybe I need to use this negative and turn it into a positive?”
“I’m listening?” I acknowledge.
She glances at me with a smile. “I feel like the overdose happened for a reason, and I came out of it for a purpose. I think I know what that purpose is now…” she pauses while we all stare at her. “I want to start a foundation for people who’ve been through this crime. Patients who need help with recovery and emotional support. People who’ve gone through a process like mine and come out the other side, but don’t have the help like I do.”
Smiling wide, I shake my head and wrap my arm around her shoulders pulling her to me as Donny and Livvy both grin wide. “Effa, I think this is great. You’ll be a perfect ambassador for a foundation like that. I’m proud of you,” I tell her, and she smiles as she looks at me.
“You think so?” she chimes.
“I know so,” I reply as I lean in and kiss her tenderly.
I’m so proud of her for taking a bad experience and turning it into a positive for others. She really is something special my woman. And I know not only I see that, but soon, the whole world will know it too. There’s a reason she’s called Effervescent, it’s because she makes everything around her so much better, and I for one, can’t wait for the day that I can tell the entire world she belongs to me.
Now, though, we have to get her better so the tour can restart, because there’s a message from Hex burning a hole in my pocket, and I honestly don’t know how long I can hold the fucker off without paying my debt to him. If I can’t fix this shit, I’m going to have a bookie and his men on my doorstep, and that’s something I don’t want. This is the one time, the one secret, that I absolutely don’t want Effa knowing about. Because if there’s one thing Jett fucking Jones got into my head about, it’s that I don’t want to use Effa for her money. If she knew I was in desperate need of cash, I know she’d hand it to me in a heartbeat.
I won’t do that to her.
I won’t be that guy who depends on my girlfriend for her money.
Even if it gets me fucking killed, I’m going to hold onto this secret.