Three days later, Cameron needed to talk to Nathan.

Nathan had been avoiding him, and because of that, he’d been avoiding the kids. They’d hardly seen him at all in the last three days, and they were asking about him.

They needed to figure out what was going on between them and find a way they could coexist in the same house and not have things be awkward. The kids had to come first. They needed their father. He had to talk to Nathan about this, now.

The first thing he did was check to see if Nathan’s car was in the drive. It would be pointless to try and find him if he wasn’t even home. When he saw it was there, he steeled his resolve and kept on searching.

He looked all over the first floor. Nathan wasn’t in the kitchen, the living room, dining room, sitting room, or the media room. He wasn’t outside, and as Cameron headed up to the second floor, he wondered where he could be.

He knew that he wasn’t on the third floor, and he wasn’t in the kid’s rooms. He wasn’t in the library because he’d just been there, so he had to be in either his room or the study. As he was heading to Nathan’s side of the hall, he saw a light under the door to his office.

“Nathan?” he called out softly as he knocked on the door.

When he didn’t hear anything, he paused, glancing around the hallway as he put his hand on the doorknob and twisted it.

He pushed open the door and took a half step in. The room was not what he’d expected, not at all. The rest of the house was so perfect and pristine, but the office was the exact opposite.

It was clean, but the walls were covered with sticky notes, pictures, and prints. The bookshelves were crammed so full of books they were piled on top and squeezed into every nook and cranny. The desk was the only surface that was clean, and there was a closed laptop in the corner of it.

Completely at a loss as to where Nathan could be, Cameron started to close the door as he backed out of the room and backed right into a very solid and firm body. Cameron gasped, whirling around in shock as he found himself looking at Nathan’s chest. Fearfully he lifted his eyes, apologies and excuses already forming on his lips.

“Find what you were looking for?” Nathan asked, his face unreadable. He didn’t look angry, but he didn’t look happy either.

“I’m so sorry,” he blurted out. “I was looking for you, and I thought I heard something. I swear I didn’t go in—”

“It’s okay,” Nathan interrupted, raising his hands to stop Cameron’s stammering. “I’m not going to bite your head off.”

“I’m sorry,” he repeated, letting out a breath he hadn’t even realized he was holding.

“You were looking for me. You found me,” Nathan said, a smile tugging at his lips. “And?”

“I wanted to talk to you about the other night,” he said, his face flushing as he fought not to look away.

“I thought you might.”

“You’re my boss. I shouldn’t have kissed you like that.”

“I believe I was the one who started it, both times.”

“Yes, but I should have stopped it.”

“Why is all the blame on you?”

“Because.”

“Because why?”

“Because...” he trailed off. “I don’t know.”

Nathan looked down at him, and Cameron’s body flushed as a tingle moved over his skin. Nathan’s eyes were so filled with heat and desire, and something deep inside Cameron tugged.

Suddenly Nathan swept him into his arms, his lips descending on his as he pulled Cameron against his body. Cameron gasped at the suddenness of the move, and then sighed as Nathan’s tongue swept inside his mouth, teasing his.

He wrapped his arms around Nathan, standing up on his tiptoes as he kissed him back with everything he had. All thoughts of why they shouldn’t be doing this flew out of his mind, and he gave in to the moment. 

Nathan’s cock was hot and hard against his abdomen, and Cameron whimpered softly as a jolt of pleasure shot up his spine. His own cock was so hard it was almost painful, and his balls were heavy with need.

Nathan gripped him around the waist, pulling him up so his feet were off the floor as he carried Cameron into the study, kicking the door closed as he did.

Cameron gasped as he was deposited on the desk and wrapped his legs around Nathan’s waist.

Nathan’s body was strong and hard against his. His skin was hot, and every place his lips and hands touched left a trail of fire on Cameron’s skin. He was almost dizzy from the onslaught of sensations, and he wanted more.

Cameron grabbed the bottom of Nathan’s shirt and tugged the material up. He needed to feel Nathan’s skin against his. He broke away from the kiss long enough to pull the shirt off and then ripped off his own in a swift motion. He tossed their clothes aside and kissed Nathan again, their tongues and lips battling for control.

Nathan cupped Cameron’s face, holding him still as he took over the kiss, and Cameron cried out as jolts of pleasure shot through his body and went straight to his cock.

He was lost. Feeling Nathan’s smooth skin under his hands, his hard muscles holding him tight, Nathan’s thick hair running through his fingers. It was almost too much, and Cameron needed more. He reached between them, fumbling slightly as he grabbed the waistband of Nathan’s jeans.

Nathan groaned as Cameron pulled open the jeans and slid his hand down the front of them so he could cup Nathan in his hand. His cock pulsed against Cameron’s skin as he gave it a few tentative squeezes. He felt big, and thick. Nathan let him stroke him a few times before he pulled Cameron’s hand away. Nathan reached into Cameron’s sweatpants, his hand bypassing Cameron’s briefs as he gripped Cameron’s leaking cock.

“Fuck!” Cameron gasped as even more pre-cum dripped down his length. He was on such a hair trigger it wouldn’t take much for him to come. “More,” be begged, bucking his hips up to try and force Nathan into stroking him.

With a grunt, Nathan shoved his jeans and briefs down so they were resting just under his ass and stepped forward. He gripped Cameron’s cock, then stepped in again, closing the distance between them so he could grasp both of their dicks in his big hand.

“Oh fuck yes,” Cameron cried out, his back bowing as waves of pleasure hit him with every upstroke. Feeling Nathan’s hand was one thing, but to feel his cock, velvety soft and rock hard, sliding against his as their pre-cum slicked the way was beyond hot.

“God, Cameron,” Nathan grunted and sped up his movements as his free hand moved up to hold the back of Cameron’s head, anchoring him in place as their foreheads pressed together.

“Yes, Nathan!”

Unconsciously Cameron grabbed Nathan’s arms and held on for dear life as the pressure in his body hovered at the moment just before orgasm.

“Fuck!”

With a final scream, the pleasure finally broke, and a crescendo of bliss hit Cameron as his seed spurted out over Nathan’s hand and cock.

“Yes!” Nathan came with a grunt, his cum spilling over his hand and mixing with Cameron’s.

They stayed locked in the moment, Nathan’s hand around their softening cocks as he continued to hold Cameron close. Both men were panting, and Cameron was having a little trouble getting his bearings back.

That had been one of the strongest orgasms he’d ever had in his life. The raw passion and sexual energy that had been rolling off Nathan in waves had brought Cameron’s arousal up to levels he didn’t even know he was capable of. And watching him, seeing Nathan come had been incredible.

But as the glow wore off, Cameron realized what had just happened. He’d just fucked his boss’s hand and come all over him.

“Cameron?” Nathan asked when he pulled away. “What is it?”

“I... this...” Cameron quickly tucked himself back into his sweatpants and desperately searched for a way to articulate what he was thinking.

“Cameron, what’s wrong?” Nathan asked gently as he cupped his face and tilted it up. “Please, tell me,” he urged when Cameron kept silent.

“I shouldn’t have.” He shook his head against Nathan’s hands.

“What do you mean?”

“I crossed the line. I shouldn’t have done that. I should have known better, but I gave in and—”

“Cameron,” Nathan interrupted, “what just happened between us isn’t on you, not at all.”

“It isn’t?”

“No. Why would you think it was your fault?”

“I’m the one who sought you out.”

“But you didn’t start the kiss.”

“No, but I pulled off your shirt.”

“No one is to blame. It happened, we’re adults. As long as it’s something you wanted—“

“It is,” Cameron cut in. “I did.”

“Then there’s no blame to be placed. Okay?”

Cameron nodded and bit his lip. He still felt like the blame was on him, but Nathan was right. They’d both wanted it.

“Will you come into my room so we can lie down, talk about this?” Nathan asked.

Not trusting his voice, Cameron nodded.

As Cameron hopped off the desk, Nathan scooped up their shirts. Cameron was about to head toward the door to the hall when Nathan took his hand and led him to what Cameron had assumed was a closet. When he pushed the door open, Cameron saw that it lead to the master bedroom.

It felt a little strange to be in there, but Nathan didn’t hesitate as he brought Cameron over to the bed and urged him to lie down. When he was settled, Nathan climbed in beside him and slid his arm under Cameron’s shoulder, pulling him close so his head was resting on Nathan’s strong shoulder.

“Is there a reason you seem to internalize everything?” Nathan asked after a pause.

“What do you mean?”

“You keep apologizing, saying that our kisses have been your fault, that you should have stopped things. Why do you feel all the blame is on you?”

“I... I don’t know.”

“I think you do.”

Cameron bit his lip and snuggled closer to Nathan. His body was warm and strong, and comforting. And it made Cameron want to open up and tell Nathan the truth.

“I always feel like things are my fault.”

“Why?”

“It seems like all the bad things in my life have happened because of who I am. My mom died because she never got over me being born. My dad hated that I was ever conceived and that I’m gay. My sister Cara dropped out of college to help Mom with me when I was an infant because Mom was struggling with the depression, and she never went back.”

“None of that is your fault, you know that, right? Those were the circumstances they found themselves in, how they reacted. That’s on them, not you.”

“I still feel guilty.”

“Maybe so, but you shouldn’t. Is there something else?” Nathan asked softly.

“When I was eighteen, I had this boyfriend.” Cameron pulled in a deep breath and focused on a spot on Nathan’s stomach as he talked. “I see now that he was verbally and emotionally abusive. Everything was my fault. When he wasn’t happy or something went wrong in his life, he blamed me. I would apologize and try to be better for him, but it was never enough.”

“Did he hurt you?”

“Not physically. But he played mind games. He’d initiate sex but critique me afterward, tell me all of the things I did wrong. He’d withhold physical affection too, like even just a simple hug or kiss, unless I did what he wanted. I feel so stupid now, but I thought I was in love with him.”

“He manipulated you. That’s not stupid, Cameron.”

“I still hate that I let him use and play me like that.”

“How long were you with him?”

“Two years. He broke up with me when he got bored of me. He found someone else.”

“Did he cheat on you?”

“Yeah.” Cameron sighed. “I didn’t know until the end, but he’d been cheating the whole time. The only good thing that came out of it was that we never went without protection, so I didn’t have to worry about him giving me anything.”

“You still got tested, right?”

“Of course, I get tested every year.”

They lapsed into silence, and Nathan’s arm tightened around him.

“I haven’t been with anyone since Jason. Not a kiss, nothing,” he admitted softly. “I didn’t want to get close to anyone, but then you came along, and I couldn’t stay away. I’m sorry if I put you in a position where you felt coerced—“

“I didn’t, not for a second,” Cameron cut in. “I wanted it as much as you did.”

“I don’t know what’s going on here, Cameron, but it’s not enough.”

“What do you mean?” Cameron lifted his head so he could look into Nathan’s silver eyes.

“I need more.”

“So do I.”

Nathan shifted their bodies, rolling over his as their lips met in a soft and tender kiss. It was gentle and sweet and exploratory. A stark contrast from the savage need from the office. Nathan’s hands ran through his hair before sliding down his chest.

Cameron signed against Nathan’s lips and arched into him, wanting as many points of contact between their bodies as possible.

When Nathan broke the kiss, Cameron almost whimpered in protest until he realized that Nathan was pulling off his jeans and briefs. Not wanting to just lay there and wait passively, Cameron pushed his sweatpants and briefs down over his hips, biting back a smile as Nathan pulled them the rest of the way off.

His body was perfect. Nathan was all hard lines and smooth planes, and the sheer sensuality and masculinity he exuded caused another tingle to run up Cameron’s spine.

Nathan lay back over him, lining their hard cocks up as he stared down at Cameron. He looked so strong, so virile above him that Cameron’s breath caught. He was so incredibly handsome, and the way he was looking down at him as though Cameron was the most beautiful man he’d ever seen and he wanted nothing more than to slip inside him, took Cameron by breath away. No one had ever looked at him like that before.

After a moment, Nathan gave him a hard kiss and then moved down his body. Cameron thought he was going to get the lube and condoms, but instead, Nathan stopped at his torso and gripped Cameron’s cock in his hand.

“Oh god!” he gasped as Nathan used his thumb to spread the beads of pre-cum that had gathered on his slit around the head of his cock. “Fuck.”

He didn’t know what to expect, but Nathan sucking him all the way into the back of his throat certainly wasn’t it, and he cried out as his entire body reacted.

“Oh fuck, Nathan.”

His nerves lit up and crackled to life as his hips lifted. Nathan made a sound low in his throat as he rolled his eyes up to look at Cameron, and the fire and need he saw in them almost sent Cameron over the edge.

It took everything he had not to give in to the orgasm that was right there, hovering and waiting to explode. He wanted to enjoy Nathan’s touch as long as possible.

“Fuck!” he shouted in the quiet room as the pad of Nathan’s finger circled his hole. “Too much.”

Nathan popped off his cock with a satisfied grin on his slightly swollen lips. He obviously knew how good at giving head he was.

Cameron started to sit up so he could return the favor, but Nathan shook his head and reached over the side of the bed.

“It’s been so long it won’t take much for me to come. I want to be inside you when that happens.”

Cameron nodded, swallowing a bubble of anticipation.

Nathan fished a bottle of lube and a condom out of his bedside table and settled between his legs for the second time. Cameron spread them a little wider as Nathan rolled the condom on, then slicked it up with a generous amount lube.

“Put one leg up on my shoulder, open up to me, love,” Nathan said softly as he rubbed his slick fingers together.

Cameron did as he requested, too excited to feel exposed or vulnerable. Nathan’s blunt fingers spread some of the lube over his hole, and then he was pushing one of his digits inside Cameron’s body.

Cameron pulled in a hissing breath and forced himself to relax. It had been a while since he’d bottomed.

Nathan took his time, gently pushing into him with tiny pulses of movement as opposed to thrusts. It felt incredible, and in no time at all Cameron’s body opened up, and Nathan was able to slide his finger all the way inside him.

“Fuck you’re tight.” Nathan’s voice was strained as he gently pushed a second finger in to join the first.

Cameron was about to answer when Nathan brushed his prostate, and instead, he let out a gasp.

“Now. I’m ready,” Cameron begged. He didn’t want to wait a moment longer to feel Nathan inside him.

Nathan pulled his fingers free and guided his cock to Cameron’s hole. When he was in position, he slowly pushed in.

He was big, and Cameron had to bite his lip to keep from crying out as his body stretched. When Nathan popped through his outer ring of muscles, Cameron was able to breathe again.

“Fuck, Cameron. God you feel so good.”

“Yes!”

He gasped as Nathan filled him, and when his thighs were flush with Cameron’s ass, Nathan leaned over to cover his smaller body with his. 

His thrusts were gentle and even. He was taking his time even though his muscles were tight and he was shaking slightly with the effort.

Pressure and pleasure bloomed out in Cameron’s body, and when Nathan shifted so he was sliding over his prostate on every pass, Cameron almost lost it.

“Yes, oh yes!” he cried out as Nathan shifted again, putting just the slightest bit more pressure on his prostate as he fucked him. “Oh my god yes!”

“Come for me, love,” Nathan groaned against his neck as he put a bit more power behind his thrusts. “Come,” he urged.

“Yes, yes.” Cameron squeezed his eyes shut and tried not to move so Nathan wouldn’t lose that perfect spot.

Nathan’s hand moved between them, but before he could grasp Cameron’s weeping cock, Cameron was pushed over the edge, and his orgasm crashed down over him.

“Fuck!”

His body tightened and contracted as he shot between them. The most intense pleasure he’d ever felt coursed through his body, and it was as though someone had touched him with a live wire. Cameron had never had a hands-free orgasm before, and it was so intense he was on the edge of blacking out.

Nathan pushed through it, even as Cameron’s body clamped down and tried to hold him in place as he cried out into Nathan’s shoulder.

Nathan came with a shout, his body jerking over Cameron’s as he spilled inside the condom. He could feel Nathan’s hot seed through the latex, and Cameron held him close, reveling in the moment.

When the afterglow settled over them, Nathan continued to hold himself over Cameron, his body shaking.

Cameron knew this was a big moment for Nathan and gave him all the time he needed to process what he was feeling.

After a long while, Nathan rolled off him, quickly ridding himself of the used condom and getting some baby wipes out of his bedside table so they could clean up before settling together on the bed. Nathan ended up on his back with one arm behind his head and the other wrapped around Cameron as he curled against his chest. Cameron couldn’t help noticing just how natural the position felt, and how perfectly he fit against him.

They lay in silence for a long while, each just getting their focus back.

“Are you okay?” Cameron asked when the silence stretched out.

“Yeah. I am.” Nathan pressed a kiss against his hair and let out a breath. “I expected to feel guilty.”

“What do you mean?”

“Jason and I were together for over ten years. I haven’t been with anyone else in fourteen. I thought I’d feel guilty, like I was cheating on his memory.”

“Did you?”

“No. Not at all. I’m glad it was you.” Nathan leaned down and pressed a soft kiss against his lips.

“I’m glad it was me too.”

“I was a bit out of it there, but you seemed a bit shocked when you came.” Nathan grinned, and Cameron couldn’t help laughing.

“I’ve never come without touching my dick before; I wasn’t expecting it.”

“It was good, though. Right?”

Cameron heard a sliver of doubt in Nathan’s voice and nodded, giving him a big smile to calm his doubts.

“It was amazing. I’ve never had a partner so into pleasing me. It’s always been kiss, frot, grope, prep, and fuck. This was so much more.”

“You deserve someone who will put in the effort.”

“I guess I’ve been spoiled,” he said with a dramatic sigh. “After that, how could I ever settle for mediocrity again?” 

Nathan laughed, a real and hearty laugh, and hugged him tight as the mood was lightened. 

 

Nathan was conflicted. He shouldn’t have slept with Cameron. He shouldn’t still be in bed with him talking like lovers and friends. Cameron was his nanny; he was Cameron’s boss. It was completely unprofessional and a huge blurring of lines, but he wasn’t sorry. Cameron felt so good against him, and it had been a long time since he’d had any sort of pillow talk with anyone.

“So, tell me something about you that not a lot of people know.”

Nathan grinned at the sudden change in conversation. “Um... I’m goofy-handed.”

“What’s that?”

“I write with my right hand but do everything else left. So my writing hand isn’t my dominant hand.”

“That’s cool. I’ve never heard of that before.”

“What about you? Tell me something interesting.”

“Okay.” Cameron laughed. “I can’t read analog clocks.”

“What?”

“I have no idea why, but I can't read them. I see the hands in the wrong places so if it's not digital then I have no idea what time it is..”

Nathan barked out a laugh. “You are full of surprises, Cameron.”

They fell into an easy conversation after that and talked about everything and nothing. They stayed away from really personal and heavy topics but discussed just about everything else from their favorite foods to their views on current events. They agreed on a lot but disagreed on even more, and that made the conversations interesting. They debated but didn’t fight, and it was hours later when Cameron started yawning.

“Are you tired?” Nathan asked.

They’d long since moved under the covers and were sitting up against the headboard with Cameron leaning against Nathan’s side as they talked. They were still naked, but neither seemed to notice or care. 

“A little. My day started a few hours earlier than yours.”

“True.”

“I should get to bed,” Cameron said reluctantly.

“You could sleep here,” Nathan offered. “I’m tired too. Why bother getting up and going upstairs?”

Every instinct was screaming at Nathan that this was a bad idea and he should retract the offer. He’d spoken without thinking, but now that it was out there he didn’t want to take it back. This would be the first time he’d spent the night with anyone since Jason had died, and after what they’d shared, he couldn’t fathom sleeping alone.

After a pause, Cameron nodded. “Okay.”

It took a bit of maneuvering, but they found a comfortable way to sleep, with him spooning Cameron from behind. It was a massive bed, they could have comfortably stretched out on either side and never even touched, but Nathan wanted to keep him as close as possible as they slept.

He marveled at how wonderful Cameron was, how good he felt against him. He pulled the smaller man even closer, then cursed as his body tightened and he grew hard against his back.

Nathan shifted so he was angled away from Cameron, but he seemed to have other ideas and pressed back against Nathan’s cock, wiggling slightly as he did. 

Nathan bit back a groan as his dick settled in the cleft of Cameron’s ass.

“You have no idea what you’re doing to me,” Nathan said in his ear as Cameron moved against him.

“I think I do,” Cameron said with a grin, glancing back at him as he wiggled a little bit more. “I can always stop—”

“Don’t stop.” Nathan grabbed his hip and held him tight. “As long as you understand what you’re starting.”

“I understand.” Cameron turned his face so he could look at him. “I definitely understand.”

Nathan bent his head and kissed Cameron deep as he reached around the smaller man’s body so he could touch him.