Cameron woke up to a screaming alarm, the sound rudely jarring him awake. He shook his head, trying to clear it, as he took a moment to figure out where he was.

He wasn’t in his bed, and that wasn’t his alarm going off. It wasn’t until he felt a strong body behind him and a warm arm over his hip that the events of the night before came back to him.

He glanced behind him as Nathan shifted and reached over him to turn off the alarm. His cock was already hard against his stomach, and Nathan’s morning wood poked into his thigh.

Nathan pressed a few lazy kisses against his back before turning him so they were face-to-face.

“Morning,”

“Morning.”

Nathan looked amazing. His eyes were still slightly unfocused from sleep, and his hair was rumpled and messy, but he looked so handsome and so sensual Cameron’s erection only got harder.

Nathan pulled him close and bent to kiss him. The kiss was slow and deep, and Cameron had to blink to clear his head when Nathan pulled away.

“Do you have to leave right away?”

“I do.”

“Too bad,” Nathan said ruefully and kissed him again.

“Yeah.”

He had to get up to his room, shower, change, and then wake up the kids. He didn’t have all that much time to spare, and he would be cutting it close as it was.

“Okay.” Nathan nodded and kissed him one last time before letting go so Cameron could sit up.

Cameron slid out of bed and gathered his clothes.

“If you’re trying to figure out a way to tell me this can’t happen again, don’t bother,” Nathan said with a smile as Cameron hovered next to the bed and looked at him. “Because I’m trying to figure out how to say that to you.”

“That’s exactly it.” Cameron nodded. “I honestly don’t know where to go from here.”

“We can’t reset the clock, and we both wanted it. Let’s chalk it up to an experience and move on,” Nathan suggested. “No one is at fault, and no one is to blame. Here’s hoping we got whatever that was out of our system and we can go back to the way things should be.”

“I think that’s best,” he agreed.

“Good, now I’m going to catch some more sleep. I’ll see all of you later on.” Nathan gave him a charming grin and flopped back down on the bed.

“Enjoy that. I’m going to go and try not to fall asleep on my feet.” 

“Make a big pot of coffee,” Nathan suggested with a wink. “And leave me a cup.”

“You wish. I’m going to make a huge pot, and when I’m done, the rest is going down the drain. You want to sleep in, then you can make your own damn coffee.”

He gave Nathan a cheeky smile and headed toward the door, Nathan’s laughter following him as he did.

***

CAMERON WAS EXHAUSTED all day, and the kids were hyper, which was an awesome combination. He took them to the splash pad and let them run around as he rested on a bench and watched them. When he was sure they were thoroughly spent, he brought them back to the house and tried to get them to do something quiet. That had lasted all of three minutes before they’d gotten a second wind and had spent the rest of the morning running around the backyard.

They’d had a picnic outside, and as he’d been cleaning up their dishes, a whole herd of kids had arrived with mothers, nannies, and the one dad in tow.

The rest of the adults had sat around chatting. Cameron spent the afternoon running around and playing with the kids.

By the time supper rolled around, he was so tired he wasn’t even hungry, but the kids were excited to have dinner with their dad again, so he did his best to prep a healthy meal as Nathan read stories to the kids. When their meal was ready, they all ate together at the table.

He was having a hard time looking at Nathan with neutral eyes as he remembered the night before. Every time he’d look at him, he’d remember how Nathan’s lips had felt against his, how his hands had felt on his skin. He knew he was blushing, but he couldn’t help it.

Thankfully Nathan seemed better at pretending nothing was different between them. He was grateful Nathan wasn’t making a big deal out of things, and that he was able to hide it from the kids. The emotional part of him felt a little slighted since their night together obviously hadn’t been as earthmoving for Nathan as it had been for him, but the rational part of his mind knew that one of them needed to be in control of their emotions right now. 

By the time he had the kids upstairs and was winding them down, Cameron was regretting not eating much at supper, but instead of thinking about his growling stomach, he focused on getting the kids into bed.

Kaitlyn hadn’t wanted to wear her clean pajamas; she’d wanted to wear a pair that Cameron hadn’t had a chance to wash yet. It had taken some work to get her into the “wrong” pair, but he’d eventually won that battle. Daniel had decided he’d wanted three extra stories, and of course, they were the longest books he could get his hands on. Logan had refused to clean up the pile of clothes he’d made in his room that morning when he’d been deciding what he wanted to wear, so it took a lot longer than usual to get the boys tucked in and sleeping.

As soon as he closed the door to Logan’s room, Cameron headed upstairs and fell into his bed, not even bothering to change his clothes. Instead, he fell asleep and slept right through until the morning.

***

THE NEXT FEW WEEKS seemed to both crawl by and pass in a blur.

Cameron was busy since there was no downtime for him during the day. He and Nathan managed to work out a healthy medium where they could be in the same room together and coexist professionally. They didn’t tempt things by spending any time alone, and Cameron couldn’t help noticing Nathan went out almost every night.

It was getting easier and easier to pretend as if nothing had happened, and even though Cameron was still confused he was able to move past it. There was no way he’d ever forget that night, and it wasn’t just the sex that he remembered.

Nathan had been incredible, there was no question that had been the best sex of his life, but it was more than just the physical pleasure that kept him distracted. It was the after part that had really meant a lot to him. He’d loved lying in his arms, feeling Nathan’s strong body against his as his arms protectively held him. He’d loved the casual conversation they’d shared, and how Nathan opened up to him, and how he’d been able to talk about things that had been bothering him.

It had been over a year since he’d spent the night with someone, and he’d never felt as comfortable with anyone as he did with Nathan. Cameron had never opened up to anyone or felt connected to someone the way he felt with Nathan.

Nathan had given him both Saturday and Sunday evenings off for the next few weeks. It was a really nice gesture, and it gave Cameron a chance to spend more time with his family.

On Sunday night, he went to a movie with Nick, his oldest nephew. There were only six years between them, and he’d missed spending time with him. 

At nineteen Nick could have pretended that he was too cool to want to hang out with his uncle, but they’d grown up together and were friends above anything else. Cameron just also happened to be Nick’s mom’s brother.

It had been a long time since Cameron had done anything social without kids in tow, and the night out kind of recharged him and helped him remember there really was a world outside of his family and his job. 

***

FOUR DAYS LATER, HE and Nathan slipped, and it had almost been disastrous.

They’d all been in the kitchen before dinner. The kids and Nathan had been at the table playing with a set of building blocks, while he’d been at the island chopping vegetables for the salad.

Kaitlyn had gotten frustrated when she couldn’t get two pieces that weren’t made to work together to fit, and in her frustration she’d tossed the pieces behind her.

Nathan had taken a moment to explain to his daughter that it was okay to get frustrated and angry when things didn’t work, but she shouldn’t throw things. She should treat all her things properly, and next time she should put the pieces down and move on to the next ones.

Kaitlyn had listened to everything her father had said and nodded seriously when he’d asked if she’d understood. She’d picked up two more pieces and had started to fit them together, smiling when they worked.

Nathan had gotten up to get the thrown blocks, and Cameron had been holding them in his hand, a smile on his face. The pieces had landed on the island. One of them had ended up on his cutting board while the other had stopped about a foot to his left.

Nathan had come around the island to get the pieces, and as he’d handed them to him, Nathan had quietly asked if he approved of his parenting, grinning at him in a teasing way.

He’d grinned back and given him a witty retort about him being super dad. As Nathan had taken the pieces from Cameron’s hand, he’d bent his head to kiss him. Cameron had tilted his head up to meet his kiss, almost as though it was an afterthought.

The kiss had been brief, and it had been chaste, more of a familiar peck than a kiss, but it was still right in front of the kids.

Nathan had jumped away, his eyes wide, and a moment later they’d both whirled around to see if the kids had seen them. All three were engrossed in their building, and as Nathan had hurried back to the table, Cameron had desperately tried to hide the fact that he was blushing, most likely the same shade of red as the tomato he was cutting up.

None of the kids noticed, thankfully, but as he’d been putting Kaitlyn down, he’d glanced out of her window and seen that Nathan’s car was gone. He’d gone out for the night, and while Cameron was glad because he didn’t have to worry about seeing him, a small part of him was disappointed.

***

NATHAN WALKED INTO the house in a slightly better mood than when he’d left, but not by much. He’d gone to his favorite bar, sat on his favorite stool, and talked with the bartender as he’d had a beer. He’d then had another but had cut himself off after that.

He’d been trying to forget about Cameron and their kiss that evening. That kiss had been so chaste and innocent that it really couldn’t be counted as a kiss, more like a brushing of lips, but it was how natural and how organically it had happened that had unnerved him. He’d seen Cameron standing there, smiling at him, and he hadn’t even thought about it. He’d taken the blocks from him and kissed him.

It was a familiar kiss. The only thing that had motivated it was familiarity and comfort. It was the type of kiss he would give a boyfriend or husband, and he didn’t know what it meant that he’d kissed Cameron like that.

He’d been thinking about their night together nonstop since Cameron had left his room the morning after. The sex had been incredible. He’d never had such an overwhelming hunger for anyone before, not even Jason. He was so different from the men Nathan was usually attracted to, and when he’d been holding Cameron in his arms, cuddling and talking with him, it had felt right.

He was conflicted about the entire experience. Cameron was his nanny, and Nathan was his employer. Cameron lived in his house and took care of his kids.

Nathan couldn’t take back what had happened, and he didn’t really want to. It might have been taboo, but it had opened his eyes to what he’d been missing these past three years.

He’d thought that by pushing men away he’d be protecting his heart, but being with Cameron had reminded him of just how much he missed intimacy. It was confusing and distracting, and he needed to put some distance between them.

He didn’t want to be thinking about this anymore. His thoughts were getting cyclical, and he was going to drive himself crazy if he kept it up.

At least now he was home and could get a few more beers into himself. That would hopefully help him fall asleep and have a dreamless and restful night.

He walked into the kitchen and stopped dead in his tracks.

Cameron was standing at the kitchen island staring at the wall. He was so into whatever he was thinking about he didn’t seem to hear Nathan come up, and Nathan took a moment to look at him.

He was effortlessly beautiful; it was the only way he could describe him.

Usually he thought of men as handsome or attractive, but Cameron was beautiful. His low-slung sweatpants showed off his perfect ass, and his white shirt was tight enough Nathan could see the outline of his torso under it.

His hair was mussed like he’d just rolled out of bed, and even the way he was standing was effortlessly provocative.

Nathan’s body tightened as he just drank Cameron in, and every reason why he should walk out of the kitchen flew out of his head as he started towards him, almost on autopilot.

 

Cameron felt Nathan’s presence a moment before he felt his hands. He’d been so deep in thought Nathan should have shocked him when he touched him, but he didn’t.

Nathan’s hands rested on his hips, holding him. It was as though Nathan was waiting for him to pull away. He knew he should, but he didn’t want to.

Cameron shifted back, moving closer to Nathan until he was pressed against his larger frame. Nathan’s hands tightened around him, and Cameron let out a shuddering sigh as Nathan pulled Cameron against him, closing the remaining distance between them.

Nathan lowered his lips to Cameron’s exposed neck, nibbling and tasting the sensitive flesh as Cameron gasped and tilted his head to give Nathan better access.

“Do you feel what you do to me?” Nathan asked in his ear, his voice gruff and the timbre of it sending a shiver up Cameron’s spine. He could feel Nathan’s cock pressing into his back, and his eyes fluttered closed as a tingle moved over his skin.

“I feel it,” he said breathlessly.

“I want you, Cameron. I want to fuck you until you scream for me.”

His words and the tone of his voice sent another shiver up Cameron’s spine as his erection peeked out of the top of his sweatpants and was exposed to the slightly chilled air.

“Do you want me?” Nathan asked, kissing his neck between words.

“I want you.” He nodded. “Yes, I want you.”

Nathan grunted against his neck and spun him around. The look in his eyes was almost predatory, and Cameron shivered under his stare. This wasn’t going to be sweet and gentle. It was going to be hot and hard, and Cameron couldn’t wait.

Nathan bent his head and caught Cameron’s lips in a crushing kiss, his hand fisting in the hair at the base of his neck, causing Cameron to moan as he gave the strands a gentle tug.

“You have no idea what you do to me,” Nathan groaned against his mouth as he ran his other hand over Cameron’s body. “How much I want you.”

“Show me,” he begged. “Please.”

Nathan shoved his sweatpants down, and Cameron quickly kicked them off as Nathan ran his hand up his thigh and over Cameron’s ass. The contrast of having the slightly rough material of Nathan’s jeans against his bare cock sent zings of pleasure shooting through him, and it triggered some sort of instinct deep within him. He didn’t want to be the passive partner right now. He wanted to show Nathan just how turned on he was.

Cameron reached up and held Nathan’s cheeks as he took over the kiss. His tongue explored the recesses of Nathan’s mouth before he gently bit his bottom lip. When Nathan moaned, he soothed the plump skin with his tongue before starting all over again.

Suddenly Nathan’s hands were on his hips, and he was being lifted into the air. Nathan placed him on the cool granite of the kitchen island and reached between his legs.

“Please, Nathan,” Cameron begged against his lips when Nathan merely gripped his cock in a loose hold. Not moving or teasing. “Please.”

Nathan pulled away from the kiss and gave him a wicked smile. He sank to his knees in front of him and pushed Cameron’s legs apart and back until his knees were against his chest. Nathan’s eyes locked on his for a moment, and then he lowered his mouth to his hole.

Cameron cried out and pulled his legs even closer to his chest. Nathan ran his tongue over his entrance a few times, and then pressed it against his rim, swirling tight circles over it. Cameron’s entire body began to shake, and he cried out as Nathan kept up the torturous pace.

Nathan licked and kissed the sensitive skin before pushing just the tip of his tongue inside Cameron. His movements were slow and deliberate. It was as though he was trying to prolong the pleasure and bring him slowly. It felt so incredible, but Cameron needed more.

He grunted in pleasure, biting his lip as his orgasm began to creep up on him

“Oh God!” he cried out, forgetting to keep quiet. “More, more,” he begged. “Please more.”

“You want to come, or do you want me to fuck you?”

“Fuck me. Please fuck me.”

Nathan pulled a packet of lube and a condom out of his pants before ripping them open to expose his hard length. He rolled the condom on and then used the lube to slick it up, smearing the excess on his fingers.  Cameron was sure he’d push into him, but instead, Nathan grinned and slipped two fingers inside him and pressed them against his prostate.

“Yes, yes, yes!” he cried out, barely able to control the shaking in his legs as Nathan teased him. “Shit! I’m going to come!”

Nathan pulled his fingers free and grabbed him by the hips and moved him so he was lying on the counter.

Cameron gasped as Nathan pushed his torso down and kicked his legs apart to widen his stance. The broad head of Nathan’s cock pressed against him, and a moment later he pushed in.

Nathan moved slowly enough for Cameron to adjust as he did, and he cried out as Nathan bottomed out inside him.

“Fuck yes!” Cameron cried out as Nathan pulled out until only the head of his cock was keeping him open, and then cried out again as Nathan thrust inside him, fast and hard.

One hand closed over his shoulder, giving Nathan extra leverage to really pound into him.

Cameron pressed his cheek against the cool surface of the counter and squeezed his hands into fists to try and dispel some of the tension building inside him. He was wound as tight as a top and so close to coming he could barely think. 

Nathan let go of his shoulder and reached around him so he could jack him off as he fucked him.

“Come for me, love,” Nathan whispered in his ear as he pressed Cameron into the counter. “Come for me.”

“I’m almost there,” he gasped. “I’m so close!”

A moment before his pleasure crested, Nathan shifted and nailed his prostate with one long, hard thrust. Cameron’s body immediately contracted around him as he cried out and gave in to his orgasm.

Nathan humped into him, his thrusts erratic, as he fucked Cameron right through his release. When he was finally done, Cameron tightened his muscles around Nathan’s cock, silently urging him to come too.

Nathan jerked against him, crying out his name as he emptied into the condom. Cameron could feel the heat of his seed through the condom and shuddered at the thought of one day getting to feel Nathan fill him up with no barriers.

When Nathan lay over his back, both of them heaving as they tried to catch their breath, Cameron sighed. His body was still tingling, and his mind was fuzzy.

When Nathan finally stood up and pulled out of him, Cameron had to hold onto the counter to keep steady. 

“My legs are shaking,” he said with a shy grin as Nathan gave him a questioning look.

“Mine are too.”

Cameron smiled and took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment as he enjoyed the lingering effects of his orgasm.

It was at that moment he realized they were in the kitchen half-dressed, and the kids were upstairs and in bed.

“Oh my God,” he gasped as he spun around. “The kids.”

Nathan glanced up at the ceiling, then at the doorway behind him. 

“I’m sorry—”

“Cameron, stop apologizing. You didn’t do anything wrong,” Nathan interrupted as he picked up his sweatpants and handed them to him. “Come on.” He nodded to the main hallway.

“I should go upstairs.” He shook his head.

“We have to talk about this at some point. We might as well do it now.”

He opened his mouth to protest, but Nathan was right. They had to talk about this.

He pulled his pants on as Nathan grabbed a few sheets of paper towel and quickly wiped his cum off the side of the island

When everything was clean, Nathan tossed the paper towels in the trash and nodded for Cameron to follow him.

He led him into the media room and closed the door before sitting on the sofa. Cameron perched on the edge of the sofa next to him and tried to think of something to say.

“I’m—”

“Don’t apologize,” Nathan interrupted. “It happened, and we both wanted it. Don’t put the blame on yourself again.”

He closed his mouth and nodded. Nathan was right. There was no blame to assign here.

“I’m attracted to you,” Nathan said after a pause. “I find you frustrating and fascinating. As much as I tell myself that we can’t, that I shouldn’t, I see you and it’s like I can’t help myself.”

“I know what you mean. I feel the same way. I tell myself we can’t, convince myself that we won’t, and then it’s like I can’t control myself when you’re around.”

“I lost my head in there,” Nathan said after another pause. “I saw you, and I wanted you. I didn’t even think about where we were or about...” he trailed off as he glanced up at the ceiling.

“I wanted you too.”

“I don’t know what to do about this.” Nathan sighed and leaned back on the sofa.

“Is it because I work here?” Cameron asked tentatively.

“What?”

“I’m here; I’m available...is that what’s happening?”

“Cameron, no. If I wanted a warm body, there are plenty of options out there. It’s not that you’re here and available; it’s that you’re you. It’s you that I want, not just a body,” he repeated. “And I haven’t wanted anyone, not since...”

“I’m sorry. And I want you too. But we can’t keep doing this.”

“I know.” Nathan rubbed his hand through his hair. “I know that, but it’s like I said, I just lose my head around you.”

“I do too, but what exactly do we have going on here? Are we friends with benefits?”

“I don’t know, but it’s not just about sex for me.”

“Me either,” he said softly. 

“You never felt pressured with me, did you?” Nathan asked suddenly. “I mean, you didn’t feel like I was pressuring you or—”

“No,” he cut in. “Not at all. I wanted to.”

“Good, because I want you to know you can always say no—”

“I know, but I never wanted to,” he assured him. “So what do we do now? As much as I want to say we should just forget about it and make sure it doesn’t happen again I know that would be a lie.”

“Yeah. I honestly don’t want to stop being with you. I don’t think I could, but it’s not appropriate.”

“Do you want me to quit?”

“What? No—”

“That way you wouldn’t have to fire me.”

“I’m not going to make you quit your job because I can’t keep it in my pants around you.”

“It’s not just you,” he pointed out. “I can’t seem to keep my pants on when I’m around you.”

“True, but that’s because I keep ripping them off you.”

“True,” Cameron conceded with a chuckle.

“This is probably the most inappropriate thing I’ve ever said, and I wouldn’t blame you for reporting me to someone,” Nathan started. “But do you think we could find a balance?”

“A balance?”

“During the day you would be here for the kids. I would be here for the kids, but after they went to bed...”

“Like all business in the day and then have naked time at night?”

“I wasn’t thinking anything quite that crude.” Nathan shook his head with a smile. “More like we see each other.”

“Like date?”

“Kind of.” He nodded.

“Something tells me that would get very messy, very fast,” Cameron said thoughtfully. “But I’m not opposed to it,” he added before Nathan could agree and take back the suggestion. Now that they’d been together a third time he couldn’t just be Nathan’s employee, not after everything they’d shared.

“I don’t know what I feel or what we have here, but there’s something, and I don’t want to go back to the way things were. I don’t think I could.”

“We’ll need to set some ground rules, but it could work.” Cameron smiled. The idea of being able to explore things with Nathan was very appealing.

“Always the pragmatist, aren’t we.”

“Always.” He nodded. “Daytime is kid time. When they’re around, we have to be nothing more than their father and nanny. We can’t let them in on anything. It would be too confusing, and it wouldn’t be right.”

“Of course.”

“And my agency can’t know,” he added. “Having relationships with our employers is strictly forbidden, and I can get in a lot of trouble. Add the whole gay thing, and I would instantly lose my job and all my references and experience if this came out.”

“Of course.”

“What about you? Do you have any rules?”

“We live in the same house; you’re here with my kids all day,” he said thoughtfully. “There has to be a little separation between us.”

“Like we sleep separately? You still go out occasionally, and I take my days off away from the house?”

“Yeah.” Nathan nodded.

“That’s probably a good idea. I hadn’t even thought of that.”

“Have you ever lived with a partner?”

“No. Only with family or roommates.”

“Living with someone can complicate things. It can blur lines and create a sense of instant intimacy, but it can also make things too intense, and that can ruin things.”

“Well, all of that sounds awful. So let’s avoid that.”

“Agreed.”

Cameron stifled a yawn and grinned sheepishly at Nathan.

“Tired?”

“Yeah. I should get to bed.”

“Goodnight, Cameron.”

“Night.”

As he stood, Nathan caught his wrist and pulled him down for a quick kiss. Cameron tried not to grin like a fool as he stood up and headed out the door.

He hurried up to his room, and as soon as the door closed behind him, he leaned against it and shook his head. “What the hell, Cameron?” he asked the empty room as he closed his eyes. “What the hell are you doing?”

***

NATHAN WAS CONFLICTED. He sat in the media room long after Cameron left to go to bed, and he couldn’t shut his mind down. He shouldn’t have slept with Cameron that first night. They never should have lain in bed talking like lovers and friends after. It had made staying away from him impossible.

He’d told himself over and over again that was it. They’d given in to the chemistry between them and had an incredible night together. He’d promised himself that he wouldn’t give in to his desires and urges again, but he had.

When he’d seen Cameron standing at the kitchen island, every promise he’d made flew out of his mind, and he’d been overcome with the urge to hold him again. To feel his body against his, and to hear him crying out in pleasure.

Sex with Cameron was amazing, but that’s not all he wanted. He also wanted the long conversations. The cuddling and the secret smiles. He wanted to have epic make-out sessions and watch movies together. He wanted a partner, but he wasn’t ready for that yet. Was he?

Cameron was single-handedly making him reconsider his entire life, and that was unsettling, to say the least. 

There was no way he could give Cameron up now. He needed and wanted him in a way he’d never felt before, and he had to explore it to see if it was real.

He knew it was a bad idea, it was the worst idea, but the more they’d talked about it, the more he thought it might work. It might be messy and end horribly, but that was a risk he was willing to take in order to figure out what he was feeling.