After the incident in the sitting room, Cameron made a promise to himself that he would do everything he could to keep his distance from Nathan. He wasn’t worried about Nathan not being able to control himself; he was worried that he wouldn’t.

He’d never felt such a strong attraction to anyone before, and he didn’t know what to do about it. Nathan was his boss, and he was his nanny. Being involved with Nathan in any way outside of being employer and employee was wrong, but he couldn’t seem to change his feelings.

Every time he saw Nathan, he felt a flutter in his stomach and a flush would move over his skin as he remembered their kiss. Cameron would relive what his lips had felt like against his, how Nathan’s strong body had enveloped him, and how every touch had driven his desire to levels he’d never felt before.

He was the only man who’d ever affected Cameron this way, and he had a hard time remembering why he needed to stay away from him whenever Nathan’s eyes locked on his.

He had to put some distance between them so he could sort out his feelings and get over whatever it was that was making him crazy. He needed to get control of himself so he didn’t give in to his desires and do or say something he would regret.

***

STAYING AWAY FROM NATHAN wasn’t that difficult.

He seemed to be of the same mind, and for the next week, Cameron didn’t see him at all except for supper time.

Nathan still came down, and he would spend time with the kids while he cooked, and he still ate with them, but that was it.

Things weren’t weird or uncomfortable between them. Nathan wasn’t acting any differently towards him than he had before their kiss, and Cameron didn’t think he was. He was trying to reset the clock and erase what had happened between them, and Nathan seemed to be doing the same.

A part of Cameron was grateful, but there was still a small part of him that was disappointed.

The kiss had been a mistake. It never should have happened, and he needed to forget it ever had. But every time he looked at Nathan, every time he glanced over at him, Cameron was reminded of how wonderful that kiss had been.

During the day it was hard to not think of him. When he was in the same room with Nathan, it was really hard, but when he was alone at night, it was damn near impossible.

Cameron had never had a particularly active fantasy life. Elaborate scenarios or replaying the intimate moments in his life had never really been his thing, but for some reason, he couldn’t stop fantasizing about Nathan or reliving their kiss in his head.

He’d be sitting in the library trying to read, and suddenly Cameron would remember the look Nathan had given him the moment before their lips had touched. How Nathan’s hands had felt against his skin, and how much his body had reacted to his touch.

Lying in bed was the worst time. It was as though his brain would go into overdrive and he’d start thinking about how it would feel to Nathan’s larger body covering his. To feel their skin rub together as Nathan thrust inside him. He imagined how Nathan might taste, and what it would feel like to share the kind of deep kisses his body and mind craved.

Cameron was so distracted by his thoughts, it was bordering on ridiculous.

He was fine when he was busy and when he had the kids with him. Even when Nathan was in the same room as them, he was able to focus on cooking and getting through the meal. He could ignore the memories and his fantasies, but when he was alone, it was impossible.

Cameron wanted Nathan in a way that he’d never wanted anyone. He wasn’t innocent, he’d been with men and had boyfriends in the past, but it had never been like this.

He’d never truly lusted after anyone before. He’d never physically craved someone the way he craved Nathan, and Cameron had never wanted to be with someone as much as he wanted to be with Nathan, and he couldn’t explain it.

All he knew was that he was in lust with his boss, and it was getting harder and harder to ignore what he was feeling.

***

NATHAN WAS DOING HIS best to stay away from Cameron, but he was having a hard time remembering why he needed to.

He holed himself up in his office during the day, trying to work, and at night he would either go out or hide in his office so he didn’t risk running into him around the house.

He couldn’t forget about their kiss.

Nathan had had his fair share of kissing partners before Jason, and he’d had kisses hotter and more involved than the one he and Cameron had shared, but Cameron was the only one he could think about.

There was something about him that drew Nathan in. He was almost the exact opposite of what he normally went for, but Cameron was on his mind, and Nathan couldn’t shake him.

When he wasn’t looking at Cameron, he was thinking about him, and even when he was trying to hide, he still found ways to see him. He would glance out the window of his study while Cameron was playing with the kids outside, just to catch a glimpse of him. He would pause when he walked by the library, picturing Cameron lounging on his chaise as he read one of the many books he always had on the go. He even found himself stopping randomly during the day and wondering where Cameron was or what he was doing, and if he was even sparing him a second thought.

When Cameron was with the kids, it was easier to stay away. He could go down for dinner while he cooked and spend time with his kids, and he could get through the meal by focusing on what they were saying instead of letting his focus shift to Cameron.

The nights were the hardest. He tried to work, but he’d be so distracted he wouldn’t get anything accomplished. He tried to watch TV or put on a movie, but his mind would wander, and he wouldn’t be able to follow the story.

He went out to a bar or a pub to try and forget him and focus on something else, anything else. He met a few men who’d shown interest, but even if Cameron hadn’t been in the picture, he would have still turned them down. His life was complicated enough without bringing someone else into it.

He wasn’t over Jason, Nathan knew that. But he was finally getting to a place where he could think about other men in a sexual way without feeling guilty or like he was betraying his late husband. It had taken a long time, but he finally felt like the Nathan he’d been before he’d become a widower.

He didn’t know if Cameron had anything to do with it, but he had to admit that in the weeks Cameron had been around the house had come alive again. His kids were happy and smiling, and they were connecting as a family again. He’d fucked up by retreating into himself, and he knew he still had a lot of work to do to rebuild his relationship with his kids and form a new family unit, but this was the first time since they’d said goodbye to Jason that Nathan felt ready.

Cameron was changing things, and Nathan was so grateful Cameron had come into their lives and was bringing them back together.

***

CAMERON WAS RESTLESS.

He’d put the kids to bed, and he knew he should go to sleep, but he was wired.

He hadn’t slept well for nearly a week, and it was starting to catch up to him, especially considering how busy he was all day with the kids. He was exhausted every night, but when he was alone, it was as though his mind would spin out of control, and there was no way he could shut it down.

For some reason, it was even worse right then. He was going crazy. His mind was spiraling, and he couldn’t stop it. His body was tired, but he was so restless he couldn’t sit still.

He’d gone through the library twice, trying to find something to occupy his mind for more than a few minutes but had quickly given up. He couldn’t focus enough to watch a movie, and he didn’t feel safe going for a walk at this hour. He needed to do something, but he was at a loss.

Giving up, he wandered downstairs and went through the impressive collection of movies in the media room, hoping that one of them would catch his attention. After going through the titles twice, he sighed and left the room. 

Cameron made his way into the kitchen and paused as he looked around. He wasn’t really hungry, but he was a bit thirsty. He pulled a bottle of flavored water out of the fridge and went to get a glass. He poured a small amount of the water into the glass, then put the bottle back in the fridge as he took a few sips of the water and headed toward the cooking island so he had something to lean on.

“If that’s scotch, then you’re a man after my own heart.”

Cameron nearly jumped out of his skin and whirled around, almost spilling his drink all over himself.

“Sorry.” Nathan grinned as he pushed off the doorframe he’d been leaning against. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“You didn’t,” Cameron said a little shakily as he put his drink down and checked to make sure that he hadn’t actually spilled any on himself.

“So you didn’t just jump half a foot?” Nathan asked with a teasing smile as he came up to the island counter and stood on the other side of it.

“Coincidence.” He grinned and tried not to stare at Nathan.

He looked incredible. His black shirt clung to his body, and his dark jeans looked like they’d been painted on. His blue eyes were sparkling with laughter, and his hair was still damp at the ends from his shower. He looked amazing, and Cameron could feel his body flush as he drank in the sight of him. After a moment, Cameron cleared his throat and looked away, trying to fight the blush that was creeping onto his cheeks.

Nathan was able to keep his smile casual, but he couldn’t help looking Cameron up and down. He was wearing a pair of black shorts that were tight enough he could clearly see the curve of his ass and the bulge of his cock. His navy blue shirt clung to him perfectly, and his hair looked a little messier than usual. It almost looked like he’d rolled out of bed after a thorough fucking, and that thought made Nathan’s dick go from barely hard to painfully erect.

He knew being in the kitchen with Cameron was dangerous. He’d come downstairs to get a beer and watch a movie. When he’d seen Cameron standing at the kitchen island, Nathan’s first instinct had been to keep walking and pretend he’d never seen him, but when he’d taken a second look, he’d been drawn to Cameron, and he’d gone into the kitchen.

He should leave. He should just grab his beer, smile, and excuse himself, but he couldn’t. Talking and spending time alone together was dangerous, but he couldn’t seem to make his body move.

“Just water,” Cameron said with a smile as he seemed to regain his composure.

“Not a big drinker?”

“Not my house.” He grinned as he drank down his water in two gulps and put the glass down.

“Is that the only thing stopping you?” Nathan asked teasingly as he leaned on the counter.

“That, and the fact that there are three kids upstairs I’m responsible for,” he said pointedly.

“Ah, that.”

“Are you heading out?”

“I wasn’t planning on it. I was planning on grabbing a drink and watching a movie.”

“Oh, well, don’t let me interrupt you.”

“I’d much rather have company,” Nathan said before he could think twice. “It’s been a while since we talked.”

“True.” Cameron nodded. “I seem to recall how I dumped most of my life story on you the last time we had a conversation. Maybe this time I’ll try to keep the overshare to myself.”

“You didn’t overshare. If you’re uncomfortable that you told me those things—”

“I’m not,” he cut in. “I’m just not used to having a lot of people to talk to.”

“You don’t have friends?”

“Not really.” He sighed. “I was popular enough in high school, always had kids to play with in elementary school, but in the past few years, I’ve kind of drifted away from everyone.”

“Why is that?”

“They’re all moving on. Getting married, a few have kids, some moved for work...then there’s me, the ‘manny.’ It’s hard to meet new people with this job, and I get a lot of judgment for what I do.”

“That sounds hard,” he said as he looked at Cameron. He could see that he was trying to use humor to cover the fact that he was hurting, and he wanted to help him feel better.

“It is what it is... what about you? You must have friends coming out of the woodwork,” Cameron asked suddenly, his voice taking on a teasing tone.

“Not so much.” Nathan shook his head. “It’s been a while since I really had friends.”

“Really? But you go out all the time.”

“Alone,” he admitted. “When I got married, I lost a lot of my single friends, and when Jason died, I lost most of our married friends, and the few others I had drifted away while I was lost in grief. Being a single dad and a widower doesn’t really go with lots of friends and hanging out with the boys. I go out to get out. I work from home, and sometimes I feel like this house is my whole world. I go out to remind myself that there is a world out there that doesn’t revolve around my work and my kids.”

“I get that.” Cameron smiled. “When I was a live-out nanny, it wasn’t so isolating. I would show up in the mornings and leave at night, so I got out every day. I got to sleep in my own bed and had some weekends off, so I had time to do whatever I wanted.”

“Do you not feel like you have enough time off here?”

“That wasn’t what I meant.” Cameron shook his head. “I just meant that I understand how living where you work can make you forget the outside world sometimes.”

Nathan nodded slowly. “Your sisters, you’re close with them?”

“Very. They pretty much raised me.”

“And you have how many? Three?”

“Four,” he corrected. “Cara, Cassidy, Cynthia and Celeste.”

“And Cameron.” He grinned. “I detect a theme.”

“My parents weren’t that creative. My father’s name was Christopher, and my mother was Catherine, so I guess they decided to just go with it.”

Nathan laughed and shook his head. “I bet monogramming gifts isn’t a big thing in your family.”

“Not at all.” Cameron laughed. “We all have the same initials. Even our middle names are all the same initial, so it would be pointless.”

“Your middle names too?”

“Yup.” he laughed and shook his head. “My father was Christopher Michael; my mother was Catherine Marjorie. We’re Cara Margaret, Cassidy Michelle, Cynthia Marie, Celeste Maureen, and Cameron Matthew.”

“So seven people, all with the initials C.M.A?” he asked with a laugh.

“Yup, and considering my sisters are all less than two years apart, and even with seven years between Cara and Celeste, they still look like bookends. Like quadruplets. So between the matching names and the matching looks, we’re all kind of carbon copies of each other. I’m the anomaly being the only boy and the youngest.”

“And you said they’re older?”

“Much older.” He nodded. “Celeste is twelve years older than me, and Cara is almost twenty years older. When I came along, it was quite a shock.”

“Your family sounds big,” Nathan said with a smile. “Confusing.”

“From the outside. Five of us, four husbands, and twelve kids.” He grinned. “It can be a bit overwhelming if you haven’t been born into it. Do you have a big family?”

“Just me.” He shook his head. “Only child. And we’re not in contact with any of Jason’s family.”

“Wow. I can’t imagine not having a big, nosy family.”

“The kids have me, and I have them. It’s all I need.”

Cameron bit his lip and looked down at his hands. “I don’t know what it is about you that makes me want to overshare. I normally don’t open up to people.”

“Must be my winning personality,” Nathan teased, trying to lighten the moment. “Or the fact that I’m the only one in the house.”

Cameron laughed and looked up from his hands. “That must be it. Sharing because of proximity.”

“Way to make a guy feel special,” Nathan teased. “I’m getting a drink. Can I get you one?”

Cameron hesitated.

“Cameron?” 

“What are you having?”

“Scotch.” Nathan went to the cupboards and pulled out two highball glasses and a bottle half-filled with amber liquid. “Can I tempt you?”

“I’m not much of a scotch drinker,” Cameron admitted. “I’ve actually never tried it.”

“Then give it a try, live a little,” Nathan said as he gave Cameron what he hoped was a charming smile.

“Sure, why not.”

Nathan poured two fingers of scotch into his glass and one into Cameron’s. Scotch was one of those drinks people either loved or hated, so he would ease Cameron into it.

He brought the drinks over and handed Cameron one as he leaned against the counter in front of him.

“Cheers,” Nathan lifted his glass.

“Cheers,” Cameron echoed as he clinked their glasses together. “Here’s to living a little.”

Nathan watched as Cameron took a small sip of the drink. He drank down a good portion of his own and tried to hide his smile as he watched Cameron’s face.

His first reaction was to grimace, but after a moment Cameron looked thoughtful, then he smiled, and he took another sip.

“You like?”

“I do like.” Cameron nodded. “It’s smoother than I thought. Not as burny.”

“Burny? Pretty sure that’s not a word,” he teased.

“You know what I mean,” Cameron rolled his eyes playfully as he put his drink down and twisted and stretched out his back, closing his eyes tightly as he did. 

“You okay?” Nathan asked, a smile playing on his lips as he appreciated the view. As Cameron twisted and turned, his shirt rode up and tightened around him so he could see more of his shorts and a thin stretch of his tight stomach. 

“Fine.” Cameron stopped twisting as picked up his drink. “Just stiff.”

“I might be able to say the same if you keep stretching like that in front of me.” Nathan knew he shouldn’t have said that, but he was in a teasing mood, and he wanted to see how Cameron would respond. It was dangerous, but he couldn’t seem to make himself stop.

“Really...” Cameron grinned as he took another sip from his glass. “How about saving that description for your drink?”

“Deal.”

Cameron blushed and looked away for a moment. 

They didn’t talk as they sipped their drinks, but things weren’t awkward or strained. It was a comfortable silence.

Nathan knew this was stupid, and he shouldn’t be doing any of this. He should have walked away before Cameron realized he was home, but now that he was standing with him he didn’t want to leave.

He was comfortable with Cameron. It was strange because they’d really only had a few real conversations since he’d come to work at the house. They hadn’t had any interactions other than those few talks, their time together with the kids, and their kiss, but he was inherently comfortable with him.

He enjoyed talking with him, and he really liked joking with and teasing him. It had been a long time since he’d felt this comfortable with anyone.

Cameron caught him looking and blushed as he took another sip of his drink. Nathan laughed and watched as Cameron drank down the rest of his scotch. He was cute when he blushed.

“If I didn’t know better, Cameron, I’d say you were trying to get me drunk,” Nathan teased as he put his empty glass down on the counter.

He hadn’t had enough to get him even tipsy, but there was a pleasant flush running over his body, and he felt a little freer, like at least some of his inhibitions had been stripped away.

“Me?” Cameron asked innocently.

“Yes, you.”

“Not my style.” Cameron laughed and put down his empty glass.

“No? What is your style?” he asked with a grin as he toyed with the rim of his glass.

“I actually don’t have one. I just try not to say something stupid and hope for the best. Unlike you.”

“Me?” Nathan asked with mock innocence. “What’s my style?”

“You know how to talk to a man. You’d look at them like they’re the only person in the world. You’d listen and drop little innuendoes that are half-sweet, half-sexual, and you’d talk with your body.”

“I’d talk with my body?”

“You’d lean in, tilt your head to the side like you’re about to come in for a kiss, point your pelvis toward them as you move a little closer to give the best view of your body...” Cameron’s voice trailed off as Nathan shifted towards him.

“You seem to know me pretty well,” he said in a low voice, moving even closer. “Even though we haven’t spent all that much time together, and you’ve never seen me with another man.”

“I’m good at observing.” Cameron’s voice was a little breathy as he tilted his head slightly and looked from Nathan’s eyes to his lips and back again. “Good at reading people.”

“Is that what you’ve observed?” he asked, staring into Cameron’s gorgeous eyes. “Is that what you’ve read?”

“Yes,” he whispered.

Nathan had no idea what he was doing, why he was going there. He’d wanted to tease Cameron a little, but now that he’d started he couldn’t seem to pull back. Cameron was captivating, and in that moment, he wanted him more than he’d ever wanted anyone before.

“And is it working?” he asked, his voice husky.

“A lot more than getting me drunk would.” Cameron suddenly cleared his throat and shifted away from him as he shook his head. He was flustered, and the fact that he was affecting him so much only made Nathan want him more. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked with a sly grin. “Getting a little warm in here? You’re flushed.”

“You’d better go, get to a bar or something,” Cameron said shakily as he licked his lips. “You’ve got the charm turned up to a thousand, and there’s a guy out there ready and waiting for it.”

“What if I’m trying to charm the guy right here?” Nathan moved so that he was right in front of Cameron, almost touching him. If Cameron wanted to move away, he would have to step backward.

“Then I’d say you’re doing a pretty good job.” He let his gaze flicker over Nathan’s body as he wet his lips again.

“You want me to stop?”

“Yes and no.”

“Yes and no?”

“Yes, because it’s working, and no, because I like it.”

“That’s a very honest answer.” He looked at Cameron closely. “Where’s the sarcasm I’ve grown accustomed to?”

“It left with my self-resolve. Are you trying to seduce me?”

He was so close Nathan could feel the heat from Cameron’s body on his skin.  “I take it it’s working?” 

“Like a charm.”

Nathan lifted his hands and slowly cupped Cameron’s cheeks. His breath caught as Cameron leaned into him, and his eyes fluttered closed a moment before their lips touched.

Nathan had no idea how they’d gotten here, but his flirting had gone beyond innocent teasing into full-on seduction, and now they were kissing. Cameron sighed against his lips as he slid one hand so it rested at the base of his neck, holding Cameron against him. He traced his tongue over Cameron’s bottom lip, and when he opened to him, Nathan swept it inside his mouth so he could tease and taste him.

Ever since their first kiss, he’d sworn up and down that he wouldn’t give in again, but as his lips moved over Cameron’s, he couldn’t bring himself to pull away. Cameron was intoxicating, and the more he kissed him, the more lost Nathan became.

“Wait,” Cameron pulled back slightly, “what are we doing?”

“I don’t know,” Nathan said honestly as he looked into his eyes.

He could see how conflicted Cameron was and waited to see what the other man would do. As much as he wanted to keep kissing him, Cameron would have to make the next move.

“Me either.”

After a slight pause, Cameron leaned forward and pressed his lips against his. Then Cameron shifted slightly, pulling him closer as he trailed his hand down Nathan’s chest and moaned.

At that sound, Nathan was lost. He grabbed Cameron by the waist, pulling him so their bodies were flush.

Cameron gasped as he fisted his hand in his hair. His other hand slipped under the bottom of Cameron’s shirt and slid up his back, running over his smooth skin.

Nathan usually preferred men with muscles, who could match him in strength and power, but there was something about Cameron’s smaller frame that was driving him wild. He loved how Cameron seemed to fit perfectly against him, how he had to lean down to kiss him. It made him want to protect and dominate Cameron, and that was a new feeling.

His cock was so hard it ached. His balls were heavy, and he desperately needed some friction to try and lessen his arousal. Before he could move, Cameron grabbed him by the hips and pressed their torsos together, wiggling against him as he did.

Nathan groaned at the starburst of pleasure that poured out into his body and slid his hand down so he could cup Cameron’s perfect ass. He was a fan of bubble butts, and Cameron had one of the best he’d ever seen.

Nathan was just about to slip his hand under the waistband of Cameron’s sweatpants when he suddenly came to his senses.

He had to stop things, now. It didn’t matter how much he wanted Cameron, how much his body was screaming for him. He had to pull back before it went too far and they reached a point they couldn’t come back from. 

He broke the kiss but didn’t let go of Cameron right away. He wanted to hold him for a moment longer, to feel his body against his as long as possible.

“We can’t,” Cameron said, his voice shaking as he looked at him.

“I know.”

“I should go.”

“Yeah.” Nathan reluctantly let him go and stepped back, his body instantly going from overheated to cold.

Cameron opened his mouth, almost as though he was about to say something. Instead of talking, however, he shook his head and darted around Nathan as he sprinted out of the kitchen.

Nathan watched Cameron race away and shook his head.

He didn’t understand what it was about him, but every time Cameron was close Nathan lost his head. This couldn’t keep happening. He needed to get control himself, no matter what.