I had been having a fuck-all day when her text came in.
Nursing an unexpected injury, I grabbed a beer and fell into the nearest chair eager to see what she had been up to. Because it had been a week since she had texted, I was going out of my mind missing her.
It didn’t take a genius to figure out the only good days were those that involved her.
Clicking on the photo, I see long tanned beautiful legs with her toes tucked into the sand.
I noticed both knees were bruised and the backdrop was miles and miles of water.
Where was she?
How had she been hurt?
How long can I stay away from her?
Watching Finn sleep had quickly become an obsession.
As for me, my lifestyle didn’t allow for critical rest, therefore, I didn’t require much. But after the ride I gave Finn last night, she needed hers.
Finn Lee.
The woman I fell in love with by text message, by luck. And it was shitty luck too considering her best friend had to die for that wheel to be set in motion. I hated that for her, but I couldn’t help feeling grateful for his sacrifice too. Because like Ryan’s, my reality wasn’t going to end with the love of a good woman and a happily ever after.
While I suspect his death was painless, mine wouldn't be.
Grabbing my phone, careful not to wake her, I open up her last message scrolling back to the top. Studying each photo, I noticed the little things like; I never saw the same person with her twice. While she traveled all over the world, she had no home base or family to come home to. I couldn’t say why this made my chest hurt, I just know that it did.
Maybe because our lives weren’t so different. We were loners.
And dammit, I wanted to be home for her. I wanted to be her base, her anchor.
When she curled into me, I rested my hand on her tit, wondering how much time I had left before they either took me out or she walked away. Kissing my chest Finn asks, “Have you ever been in love before?”
Instead of answering, I ask, “How did he die?”
Resting her cheek on my arm she says sadly, “Wingsuiting.”
“Explain that to me.” Because she was the best story teller I had ever met.
“Think of a squirrel or bat. The jumper wears a suit that resembles that with a parachute inside that unzips into arm wings for landing. Basically, once airborne you look like a flying animal. Anyway, we’re are required to have a minimum of two hundred free-fall skydives along with one-on-one instruction from a wingsuit jumper or have five hundred jumps experience to fly in a wingsuit without an instructor.”
“How many did Ryan have?”
Closing her eyes, she confesses, “Ninety-six dives.”
“Why did he fly without a jumper?”
Sucking in a breath, she looks up at me and says, “Because I didn’t show up as promised.”
“You were his instructor?” Fuck. Plot twist. “Why didn’t he wait?”
“To prove that he could do it? To impress someone? Stupidity? I don’t know. He’d never taken risks without me before.”
“And you blame yourself.”
“Yes, because there is no one else to blame. He died because of me, Nix. Period. The crew had seen him around enough to know he was trained by me and while they should have checked his flight logs, the point is, he still jumped.”
“Finn…”
Sitting up, she brushes the hair from her face and explains, “Ryan and I had a bucket list. Or rather, I had a bucket list and Ryan, being my best friend, wanted to share it with me. But, as adventurous as he was, Ryan was not like me, Nix. Yes, he did a lot of shit people think is crazy, but I was always there to watch out for him and he always knew his limit. For the life of me, I have no idea what in the fuck he was thinking that day and I never will.”
Sensing there was more to this I press, “Where were you?”
“I thought I had time,” she winces. “I just needed to see it for myself. And I did when I walked in and found my boyfriend slash manager cheating on me and because my head was all fucked up, I decided to participate in a high-speed car chase that ended with the media having a field day at my expense, the other guy taken into custody and my best friend dead.”
Knowing she was close to losing it, I surmise, “All your texts to me, to Ryan, that was you finishing the bucket list, wasn’t it?”
“Yes, for him and for me too.”
“He knew the risks, Finn.”
Shaking her head, she says, “It should have been me.”
“Had it been you,” I say pulling her on top of my body. “Where would I be?”
“Right,” she rolls her eyes. “And because of me your own people are hunting you.”
“You don’t get it, do you?”
“That I’m toxic?” she says pushing away angrily. I’d never witnessed Finn angry and wasn’t sure how to handle it. “I totally get it. The only one who hasn’t gotten the memo, Nix, is you.”
And then she left the bed only to slam the bathroom door behind her.
Fuck, was this our first fight?