“I don't need to see the future to know you won't live a long life,” dad was yelling at me. “You can scrub your hands clean but that don't mean the blood is gone. You're covered in it. I can fucking smell it.”
“I see it on you too,” I yelled back. “Death is death!”
“I did it for my country!” he roars and that was my cue to walk away. Because we would never agree on this. To him, wearing a uniform made killing acceptable and any other way was wrong.
Finn’s mom saw us off with no tears or fanfare. According to Finn, Farrah was used to letting her daughter go.
With her tucked into my side while we blended in with the crowd in town, the idea of losing Finn was unfathomable. Holding her a little tighter, walking a little slower, I asked myself for the hundredth time if keeping her was the right decision. I wasn’t a Phoenix, not really.
I was a selfish man who took the easy way out by forfeiting any good I had in me. I’ve never burst into flames, coming back stronger and brighter than before. I've never been seared clean.
I was a killer with no light inside of me. Everything good and right resided in Finn. So no, I wasn’t a Phoenix. I was a thief. Stealing from the woman I love the very thing I could never give in return.
Peace.
Phoenix is just a name but, phony was who I truly am.
“You know what kind of adventure I like,” she says completely oblivious to my emotional tug of war. “But what kind of adventure do you like?”
Pulling her to a stop, I kiss her hard because I could. Because I needed to. At my silence she asks again, “Nix, what kind of adventure do you like?”
Turning her to face the store front I reply, “Well?”
Craning her neck to see me she asks, “Well what?”
“Let’s go inside.”
“To see a psychic? That’s your idea of adventure?”
“We’re currently touring an island with no cars, Finn. Besides, adventure can be whatever we want it to be. Even a psychic.”
“If she was all-knowing wouldn’t she already know we’re coming?”
And like some serious voodoo shit, the door opened with a woman motioning us to, “Come in.”
“I know how this movie ends,” Finn mumbles stepping over the threshold. Fearless as ever, this one.
The shop was small, smelled like Woodstock, and had three chairs. The lights had scarves over them and there was even a black cat sprawled out on the table who leaned into Finn’s touch but hissed at me.
“How much?” I ask the woman staring us down. Ignoring my presence, she takes Finn’s hand and shudders.
“Are you alright?” she asks quietly.
“There is no fear in you,” the woman says. “Only bright light.”
And before I could gauge Finn’s reaction, the woman grabbed my hand flipping it over. “You are full of fear.”
Stronger than she looked, the crazy bitch wouldn’t release my fucking hand announcing, “The darkness nearly consumed you.”
“Umm…” Finn hesitates.
“Until her,” she says focusing on Finn.
“Ma’am,” Finn tries. “You’re freaking me out right now.”
Zeroing in on me, the grip she had was so strong, I knew if she applied anymore pressure she’d break my bones. Getting up in my face she says, “You will fail.”
Gasping, Finn and I lock eyes, the woman releases us both but pointing at her she finishes with, “And you will die because of it.”
Without another word, the woman disappeared behind a curtain and I pulled Finn back outside.
Both of us were shaken, speechless and wondering what in the fuck just happened.
Finn was the first to shake it off but I couldn’t do it.
The woman confirmed my greatest fear.
That Finn would die for loving me.
Wanting the fuck off this creepy island, we boarded the first ferry back to civilization and I drove like the devil was on my ass. “What’s your hurry?” she asks clearly being the first to recover.
“We smell like horse shit and fudge,” I shiver.
“I visit enough I guess I’m immune,” she muses.
Suddenly she tenses and I ask, “What is it?”
“Were being followed.”
Her instincts were sharp so I would not be second guessing her word. Finding the first available empty lot, I pull in and explain, “His name is Loon.”
“One day you have to give me the story behind these bird names. For now though, what’s the plan?”
“You’re going to stay here while I talk to him.”
“Oh really?” she argues. “And if he wants to kill you? Then what?”
“If he wanted to kill us he’d have tried already.”
“As comforting and weird as that is, I’m going to ask why you believe this?”
“Because he knew we were visiting your mom.”
And because I knew someone was watching, I rushed Finn out the door eager to keep her mom safe and get us somewhere public while I regrouped. “So, he’s honorable?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Spit it out, Nix.”
“Loon loves his own mom very much,” I grate out feeling like shit for sharing his secrets. “Leaving her was difficult for him. He misses her.”
“That’s right,” she says sadly. “To be middle men you had to give up your previous lives and the people in it.”
“Finn…” I say watching him exit his car in the rear view.
“It’s pretty sweet actually.”
“Stay in the car.”
Saluting me and flicking me off at the same time, I kiss her once and fold out.
Prepared for his next move, I lean against the car allowing him to approach me. Fully armed, properly cautious and as usual, blanketed in misery, he opens with, “Phoenix.”
“Loon,” I nod in return.
“Is it true?”
“Is what true?”
“That you’ve taken a partner. A female partner. Word is, you plan to pick us all off one by one.”
“No.”
“No? Is that not her glaring at me from the passenger seat?”
“Yes, that’s her and yes, she is my partner but she’s my partner in all things. We do not have plans to pick anyone off. We are merely trying to survive and have had to defend ourselves from my own brothers. Nothing more.”
“I see.”
“Is she really glaring at you?”
“If looks could kill,” he grins subtly.
“She’s feisty,” I shrug. “Fearless to a fault.”
“You’re in love.”
“I am.”
“What’s it like?”
“Like being reborn.”
“I came to talk.”
“So talk.”
“She looks ready to skin me alive,” he says narrowing his eyes at her. “She’s very protective of you.”
“Finn is ballsy, brave and territorial,” I shrug casually. “I’m a lucky man.”
“You left out hot.”
“She’s that too.”
“Vulture wants her dead,” he says low. “I can help you.”
“Why would you help us?”
“You’re the first. The rules were made because of you so I’m hoping you can be the one to bring about change. Because I want to feel what you’re feeling right now.”
“And what am I feeling?”
“She’s within reach yet you are slowly dying because she isn’t next to you. I’m man enough to admit, I want that, Phoenix.”
“The others see it as a weakness but you don’t?”
“Fuck no,” he grunts. “You are stronger because of her, that’s what I see.”
When her door opens I outwardly groan and inwardly smile. “She’s also impatient.”
Coming to my side, she slides her arms around me asking, “If I try to shake his hand will he try and kill me?”
“No,” I grin. “But let’s not take any chances.”
Extending his despite my warning he greets her softly saying, “My name is Loon.”
Leaning forward, she accepts, offering, “I’m Finn.”
The second he started cataloging her face, I pulled her back to me and was currently trying to place her behind me because Loon wasn’t acting right. Out of all of us, he was also closest to Finn in age.
Shaking himself of it he wheezes out, “Fuck me, you’re Finn Lee.”
Pleased by this, she puffs up, positions herself in front of me saying, “You know who I am?”
“You’re the greatest stuntwoman to ever live!”
“Fuck,” I groan trying to hold her still but she was not having it and she was freakishly strong. “Stay put, woman.”
“Oh, zip it,” she rolls her eyes. “You were spanking it to my texts for a year and didn’t know who I was. Now I’ve got a fan and you’re cockblocking.”
“Cockblocking is prohibiting someone from getting laid, Finn.”
“You know what I mean,” she waves off.
“You didn’t know who she was?” Loon accuses. “How is that possible?”
“I don’t watch movies,” I fire back. Hello, I was a killer!
“You don’t have to watch movies,” he says moving closer to her. “She’s on YouTube, ESPN, in magazines, everywhere!”
“Let me guess, you saw her porn—” and when her elbow found the soft tissue of my stomach, I shut my mouth.
“Anyway, you were saying?” she continues.
“I follow you on Twitter and Instagram or rather I did. Did you delete it?”
“Yes,” she smiles sheepishly. “New life and all.”
“Please tell me you saved all the videos.”
“Of course,” she actually fucking giggled.
“I almost pissed myself when you base jumped from the KL Tower.”
“Did you see me do Macau?”
“Yes!”
“Macau?” I interrupt needing to be up to date.
“Jesus, Phoenix, it’s the highest tower in the world. How do you not know this?”
“When was Macau?”
“A few years back.”
That explains why I haven’t seen it. “Your camera guy went after you and pissed his pants. It was awesome.”
At the mention of Ryan, Finn started to shut down. “Did I say something wrong?”
“He was my best friend,” she says sadly. “He died last year wingsuiting.”
“Fuck, I heard about that. My apologies for that, Finn.”
“It’s okay,” she forces a smile. “But thank you.”
“Look,” Loon says backing away. “I came to warn you and I’ve done that. But you’re my brother, Phoenix and if you need me, call.”
I gave Loon a nod but it was Finn who broke away to hug him. Startled by it, he kept his hands at his sides while mine were on my pistol. I may trust him more than the others but he was still a killer. Whispering in his ear, Loon’s eyes widen, he grins at me and laughed all the way back to his car.
Pulling her to me I ask, “What did you say to him?”
“I explained that if he lied and comes at us, how I’d kill him.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Uh huh,” she smirks. “Men like their balls, so I’m willing to trust him.”
Fuck, this woman.