I'd been back in LA for only a week when the puking started.

I wasn't convinced that it was morning sickness, though. After all, it wasn't limited to the morning. I wished. No, I was just generally sick all day. So much so that at one point, I actually considered consulting a physician. But then it got better, at least a little bit. Besides, I had no time to be sick. I'd gotten a gig playing one of Santa's elves at a mall. It was a crappy job, sure, but at least the money was okay.

I needed to get working if I wanted to be able to afford my next trip to Oceanport. After all, I couldn't always rely on Kade's kindness.

I talked to Zander every night, and he'd also offered to pay the plane tickets—apparently his porn, excuse me, romance novels made him lots of money—but I wanted to be my own omega. I wanted to be responsible. Sometimes I wondered whether that included getting myself checked out after I felt sick, but to be honest, I was kind of afraid what the doctor might tell me.

What if one time being stupid had been one time too much? What if I was really pregnant? What would happen to my life of freedom?

What would Zander say?

No, I couldn't be pregnant. I was simply overreacting.

Besides, I was fine by the time New Year’s Eve rolled around.

With half an hour to go until midnight in Maine, Zander and I had set up a video chat with each other so neither of us would have to celebrate the turning of the year by ourselves. I sat on the couch, the laptop on the small table in front of me and a glass of champagne next to it. I could have gone out to party with my cousin, but I knew if I had, Zander would have spent the night alone in his apartment and I didn't want that.

“I wish you were here,” I said into the webcam.

“Me too. But could you imagine taking Betty on a plane?” The old dog was resting her head in Zander's lap. I was almost kind of jealous of her.

“I'm sure you could find someone to take care of her for a short while.”

Betty looked up at the laptop as if she knew she was being talked about. “I can't do that to her,” Zander said. “She hates all the rest of my family. Can't say that I blame her.”

“What about your neighbor with the candles? Could she take her?”

“Maybe.” Zander gave the idea some consideration. “I guess I have to ask her next time I see her. She wanted to talk to me about my latest book anyway.”

“Oh, that reminds me.” I pulled my sketch book out from under a pile of bills and magazines on the coffee table. “I finished reading that book you gave me.”

“Did you like the happy ending?” Zander asked with a smile.

“I loved it. All of it, actually. The whole book!” It had taken me quite some time to read, but I liked to think that I savored the experience. It was a good experience. In fact, it had inspired me to draw something. I flipped my sketch book open to the last page and held it into the webcam. “Can you see?”

“Is that...” Zander's eyes widened. “Did you draw a scene from my book?”

“I did! I just loved that scene where they kissed at the fireworks! So romantic!” I'd captured it on paper using all my most vibrantly colored pencils to put the fireworks into the night sky. It had been fun. Especially because I kept thinking about kissing Zander like that.

“That's a really good picture.” Was I imagining it or did I hear awe in Zander's voice? It wasn't that good.

“It's just a quick drawing with some color thrown on.”

“But still, it's so... expressive.” He smiled. “I can see the artist in it.”

I blushed quickly and furiously, joy flowing through me much like the bubbly champagne I planned to drink when the clock struck midnight in Maine. I loved our nightly talks. Zander always managed to make me feel good, even when he was miles and miles away.

But that only made me want to see him again so much more. While chatting was nice, it couldn't compare to being able to reach out and touch, feeling the warmth of his body, drawing his scent into my nose. It was kind of insane how much I missed him after only two weeks apart when I'd gone years of my life without him before.

How did I ever manage that? I honestly couldn't tell now.

“You can have the picture if you want it,” I said when I realized I hadn't spoken in too long, lost in my thoughts. “I can draw you all sorts of things. Whatever you want. It's like the only thing I'm really good at.” Too bad it didn't make me any money.

“It's hardly the only thing you're good at,” Zander protested. “You're also really good at losing things and abusing books,” he teased. “Yes, I saw the soup stains on your book when you put it away last night.”

“It's only because I didn't want to stop reading but I also needed food. Do you see the problem? It's your fault, really. Your book was too interesting.”

“All right. In that case, I will only give you boring books in the future so you can eat in peace.”

I laughed, and for the next ten minutes, we exchanged more meaningless banter. And then it was nearly midnight.

“Any resolutions for the new year?” I asked my boyfriend.

“I don't really believe in those.”

“C'mon, that's no fun. Let's make resolutions and we can check in with each other.”

“Okay then.” Zander sighed, though I could tell he wasn't actually annoyed. “I'm not sure what mine should be.”

“Oh, I have an idea. How about I choose something for you and you choose something for me? It can be a challenge!”

“A challenge?” Zander ran a hand through his hair. “I suppose that might be interesting. How about I challenge you to read a book a month?”

“That's easy! I can do that!” I probably could, if I really wanted to.

“And you're not allowed to spill soup or other foods or liquids on them.”

“Now you're ramping up the difficulty.”

“You gonna back down?” One of Zander's eyebrows arched up.

“Never.”

“I guess that means you accept my challenge then. I can give you a list of books if you want.”

“Oh, I'm sure you'd love to make a list for me. Maybe I should challenge you not to make any more lists,” I teased.

“Careful there. You're gonna get your name on my list of people I have to exact revenge on.”

Knowing Zander, I had no doubt that this list actually existed—and it was so very tempting to go through with this challenge now, but I had a better idea. “I challenge you to do something new at least once a month.”

“Something new?”

“Yeah, you can't just spend your whole life in your store. I want you to go out and like... eat at a restaurant you've never eaten at before. Walk your dog in a different part of town and strike up a conversation with a friendly stranger. Just no flirting,” I added with a wink.

“That sounds manageable. Though I can't believe you actually thought I'd flirt with strangers.”

“No, you're right. I didn't really think that. I know you suck at flirting, but that's okay, because I do too.” I glanced at the clock on the lower half of my laptop. Almost time. “Want to do the countdown together?”

“Sure. Oh, one more thing.”

“Yeah?

Zander looked directly into the camera. “I want you to know the one thing I really want from the new year is you. I don't care whatever else happens, I just want to be with you.”

I felt a smile form on my lips as the bubbly joy that flowed through my arteries went straight to my heart. “I want the same thing,” I said, and I meant it. He was right; it didn't matter whatever else happened as long as we were together. No matter what, we would be fine.

No matter what.

“Ready to do the countdown?” Zander asked, pulling me out of my thoughts, and then he started. “Ten—”

“Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five,” we said in unison.

What if it doesn't matter whether or not I'm pregnant?

“Four. Three. Two. One.”

What if I am?

“Happy New Year!”

Zander raised his glass of champagne to his lips. I did the same, but I didn't drink. I couldn't get myself to.

There was something I needed to know before I could enjoy alcohol again.