The next day, I couldn't stop Conner from coming with me to the bookstore again. I’d tried to distract him by offering to take him to his friend’s house instead, but apparently his friend had football practice or something equally ridiculous. Why did alphas always think they had to fight with other alphas over sewn-together pieces of leather?

In any case, I was stuck with Conner. Together we entered Tall Tales, accompanied by the soft chiming of the door bells. I spotted Zander behind his desk, dutifully scanning a lady's purchases. Once he was done with his customer, he came over to us.

To my surprise, he turned to Conner first. “Just the boy I wanted to see!”

Confusion was painted on Conner's features. “Me?”

“Yes, I got an order of books in this morning. C'mon.”

Conner and I both followed him to an old phone box he'd erected in the middle of the store. The smell of paint hung thick in the air. Zander must have given the phone box a new coat of color. In fact, when I glanced at him, I could spot faint red paint splotches on his hands. Wait, was this the phone box that used to stand outside the store when we were children?

I was still squinting at it when Zander started talking again. “Look in here. This took me all morning, but it's finally done.” He opened the door to the box. Narrow shelves lined the inside walls and on top of the shelves stood books. Not many yet, but a few. “I haven't got as many books yet as I'd like, but it's a start.”

Conner squeezed inside the box to look at the shelves more closely. “This is so cool. Like a walk-in closet. But for books!”

Zander watched him with a smile. “Kind of, yes.”

Conner stared at the books completely in awe. He took one, then another. “Are these all...?”

“They are!” Zander grinned just the way he had when we were kids and he’d won the school's chess tournament.

“They're what?” I asked, feeling a bit left out of the conversation.

“They're all books about omegas,” Conner said.

“Either fiction books with omega characters or non-fiction books like this.” Zander stepped forward and pulled a book from one of the shelves to show me. I glanced at the title. Omega Achievements throughout the Ages—The Most Important Omegas Nobody Tells You About.

“I had no idea there were books like this,” I muttered. Even Zander was a better omega than me, and he was supposed to be an alpha!

“There's a good number of books like this. Not nearly as many as there should be, I have to admit, but progress is being made.”

“That's actually pretty amazing,” I said.

“It is,” Zander agreed before turning to Conner again. “And since it was your idea that started all this, I'm gifting you one book from these shelves. Pick whichever you want.”

“Really?” Conner looked at Zander as if Christmas had come early.

“Yes.” Zander's eyes twinkled. “Just tell me later. Nick and I will be over there.” He pointed to the back of the store, near the desk with the register.

“I never knew you were so good with kids,” I said to Zander as we left Conner behind to look through all the books. Zander took a detour to the front door and flipped the sign to Closed before facing me again. “Me?” he asked. “I'm not good with children.”

I simply raised my eyebrows at him and glanced back at Conner.

“He's an exception,” Zander said.

I had to chuckle at that. “He kinda reminds me of you a bit when you were younger. I guess it's because you're both book nerds.”

“You never minded.”

“No, I don't. I think it's cute.” And there I went again, saying things I should have kept to myself. Was that a hint of red I saw coloring Zander's cheeks? No, that must have been my imagination. Alphas didn't blush.

“Glad to hear it.” Zander opened a door in the back of the store which seemed to lead to a small office. I remembered his grandmother getting us cookies from back there sometimes. “Come in,” Zander said, gesturing at me to follow. He pulled up a chair and offered it to me before flopping down in another chair behind a small desk. The room smelled like old paper and a glance around told me why that was; the walls of the office were lined with shelves upon shelves of old books. There wasn't much space, but what little there was was crammed with leather-bound tomes.

To Zander, this must have been a vision of paradise.

“What are you smiling at?” he asked.

“Nothing.” I leaned back in my chair. “Just this seems like the perfect place for you. I'm glad.”

“Oh.” Zander gaze traveled along the shelves. “My grandmother left all these behind. I should probably sort through them at some point. I spotted some seriously old ones. I mean, the printing techniques used on some of these books...” He stopped himself and shook his head.

“What?”

He waved me off. “You didn't come here to hear me ramble about old books.”

“No, but I don't mind.” Some people could go on and on uttering every inconsequential thought that went through their brain, but Zander wasn't like that. If he was going to ramble about something, it had to mean something to him. I wanted to know all about that. Besides, it was nice to see him get enthusiastic about something.

“All right, but still, that's not why I asked you to come here.” Zander leaned forward in his chair and rested his elbows on the desk.

“You wanted me to help you research.”

“Yes. I'd like to ask you some questions. Some of them might be a little personal and it's okay if you don't want to respond.”

Now I was intrigued. “What sort of questions?”

“I'm trying to find out more about what it's like to be an omega.”

Okay, that really was a little personal. “I'm not sure I'm your best source of information on that. Aren't there books you can read?” I gestured around me at all the shelves.

“I'm afraid books are won’t be enough in this case.”

In spite of my discomfort, I grinned. “Never thought I'd hear you say that.”

He shrugged. “I'm not completely removed from reality, you know.”

“Yeah, whatever you say.” But I couldn't quite wipe the smile of my face. “What is it that you need to know?”

He licked his lips. “I'd be interested in hearing what it's like to grow up as omega. For example, were there things you were told you couldn't do because of your status?”

My status. Involuntarily, I scoffed. “Honestly, it's never been a big deal in my family. You know my mother's omega so she was always like, do whatever you want.”

“I see. But was there anyone outside your family who took a different point of view?”

I raised an eyebrow at him. Was he really asking this? “You can't tell me you don't remember the things our classmates used to say. Or did you never notice?” He'd always had his nose stuck in a book, after all.

“I noticed.” His expression grew sad. “But I guess I tried not to. Kids can be awful.”

I shook my head. “I'm sure they only repeated whatever they heard at home.” Not that it really made the situation any better. I was pretty sure that the kids who asked me why I was even going to school when my only purpose was to pop out babies grew into the adults who thought it was appropriate to harass the wait staff on their nights out. “Honestly, I try not to think too much about this shit.”

“I'm sorry. I'm only trying to understand some of these things a little better.”

“It's all right.” It was kind of nice of him to take an interest. I didn't know too many alphas who did. The way he interacted with Conner was wonderful. If I was the kind of omega looking for someone to have a baby with...

“How did you feel when you got your test results?” Zander asked next, his features not unsympathetic. I leaned in a bit, resting my elbows on the desk as well. Only half my mind was on his research, really, but I'd told him I wasn't the academic type, so I could hardly be blamed.

“You mean the test saying I was omega?” I asked distractedly while I studied his face. I remembered that day well. I remembered feeling glad because being omega meant I could be with Zander. But that was probably not the answer he was looking for.

“Yes.”

“How did you feel about being alpha?” I gave back, trying to stall while I thought about my response.

“I... huh...” Zander leaned back. “Nobody's ever asked me that.”

“No, of course not. Everyone celebrates being alpha. No questions about it.” There was no sarcasm in my voice. It was just the way things were. “It's like we've accepted that there's a good test result, and a bad test result. And everyone else gets a participation award.”

Zander chuckled. “Has anyone ever told you that you have a way with words?”

“And yet you're the story teller.” I felt my good humor return to me. “It's not that I have a way with words. It's that I lack a filter. Whatever goes through my head comes straight out of my mouth.” I'd learned to be a little better about it, but it still happened. “When my mom told me that I was omega, you know, with a big smile on her face because she was omega too? I told her there was no way I was going to mass-produce babies like her.” Not a kind thing to say, but the vision of being like her with seven babies by the time I was thirty scared the crap out of me even when I was ten. “I still haven't changed my stance on that whole baby thing. Sometimes I think I'm the only omega who isn't crazy about them. Sometimes I think my test results were wrong and I'm really just a beta.”

“Why would you think that?”

“Because I'm not like other omegas.”

“In what ways?” Zander leaned forward again, curiosity apparent on his face. “Is this because you think you're not behaving like you're supposed to? Because I often think that other alphas and I have little in common.”

“It's not just that.” This wasn't a comfortable topic for me, but now that I was in this deep, I might as well swim all the way to the other side rather than backpedal. “I mean, behavior is one thing but I also get this feeling that... I don't react the way regular omegas do?” Did that make any sense?

“React? What are you supposed to react to?”

How to explain? “I don't go crazy over alphas the way other omegas do. I've never gone into heat.”

Zander's eyebrows went all the way up, but I couldn't tell whether he was surprised about my choice of topic or my confession. “Never?”

“Nope, never. If that doesn't make me different from other omegas, I don't know what would. I know I'm supposed to sniff at alphas and get turned on, but that doesn't happen.” I took a deep breath through my nose, drawing in all the fragrances in the room, from the old books to the bottle of fresh ink on the desk.... to that musky alpha scent coming off Zander. It was a good scent. Strong and clean, letting me know there was so much to him beneath the surface. I liked his scent, but still...

I took another breath and something tugged at me.

That was new.

I pinched the bridge of my nose. What was it about Zander that made everything different around him?

“Is something wrong? Are you feeling sick?”

“No.” Sick was not what I was feeling. “You know, we still need to figure out what we're going to tell your parents,” I said, desperately wanting a change of topic. I pushed my chair back a bit too, because I didn't want to keep breathing in Zander's scent and feeling weird about it. We were old friends reconnecting and planning a fake relationship. That was all.

“Oh, right.” Zander still looked a bit concerned, but at the same time, he seemed as glad to move on from the topic as I was. “If they even ask, I’ll tell them we reconnected at your brother's wedding. I figure we stayed in contact, you came to town once or twice and things clicked. But we never told anyone because we didn't want to make a big deal out of it.”

“Huh, you've really thought about this.” Of course he had. “So we began our romance at the wedding. Did we dance?” I liked the idea. I liked dancing. I wondered what it would be like to dance with Zander, to lean into my old friend as our bodies swayed together to the music.

“Of course we danced.” Zander's smile was soft. “I'm not good at it, but you told me not to worry. You know I could never say no to you.”

I grinned sheepishly. It wasn't hard to imagine that it had happened exactly like that. Zander being a little awkward at first and me dragging him along to the dance floor.

Why hadn't we done that?

Because this was real life, not a romance novel. Because what I felt when I got close to Zander still confused me.

Was I really going to keep acting like a scaredy-cat, though? At this rate, I was never going to figure out whether there was anything more than nostalgia behind my feelings for Zander.

“Maybe we should practice a bit before we show up at your parents' place.”

“Practice?” Zander didn't seem to have a clue what I was talking about.

To be honest, I wasn't too sure myself, but I didn't want to think too much about it either. Thinking only led to hesitation, and that was exactly what I wanted to leave behind. Getting up from my chair, I motioned for him to do the same. “We need to look authentic, right? So...”

When he stood, I stepped around the desk to approach him. Closing in, I inhaled again, drawing his scent deep into my lungs. There was just something about it, something sweet and powerful at the same time that made it easier to reach out and grab his hand, looking him in the eyes. “Kiss me.”

Zander stared at me. “You want me to kiss you?”

“Yes, like you mean it. It has to look real.”

Finally, he caught on to what I was saying. “That's what you mean by practice...” His gaze traveled to my lips and hung there as if he didn't quite dare to believe that I was being serious. I was still looking at his eyes, though, and I saw a quiet fire in them. He wanted to practice, and suddenly, I wanted to feel his lips on mine too. I needed to know what that might feel like.

It wasn't like I'd never kissed anyone before. Hell, my first kiss had been with Zander, all those years ago, but that had been an awkward, clumsy kiss. I'd kissed other alphas after that too, but so far, those experiences had been disappointing.

So why not go back to the start?

After all this time, the alpha before me was still the only one I'd ever truly wanted to kiss. I wasn't sure what that meant, but I had an idea that I was about to find out.

“C'mon,” I said, squeezing his hand. “It's only practice.”

He didn't need further encouragement. The fire in his dark eyes grew brighter, and then he leaned in. A heartbeat later, our lips met. My eyes fell shut the same moment the world seemed to fall away from me. For one perfect moment, my brain was quiet and my heart sang.

This is what we were looking for, it said to me.

Then my sense of reality returned and I drew back, feeling almost dizzy.

What just happened?

Zander and I stared at each other. Obviously, neither of us really knew what to say. I couldn't help but wonder whether Zander felt the same way about that practice kiss as I did—namely that it hadn't felt like practice at all—but I couldn't just ask, could I? That would mean admitting to my own feelings first, and as much as I liked to blurt things out, I wasn't quite there yet.

“I guess that went well,” I made myself say, trying to break the ice that seemed to have formed in the space between us.

“I would say so.” Zander ran a hand through his hair. The action made me smile. He was at least a little rattled by what we just did. Knowing this boosted my confidence back up to adequate levels.

“I guess I should go now. I still have to break it to Kade that I won't be sticking around for Thanksgiving dinner with him.”

“All right. My parents are expecting us at 7 p.m. on Thursday so I guess I'll come get you around half an hour before that?”

“Will you be driving up to the house in a limo?” I couldn't help but joke.

“Sadly no. I am but a lowly book seller.” Zander bowed and waved his hand dramatically until I had to laugh. The awkwardness of our kiss dissipated.

“But a dashing one at that,” I teased. “If only you wouldn't always mess up your hair.”

As if on reflex, one of his hands went toward his head. I grinned. He stopped with his hand in mid-air.

“It's okay,” I said. “I like it a little messed-up.”

“Oh. Okay.” Slowly, he lowered his hand again.

I gave him a smile before the awkwardness could creep back in between us. Everything was easy as long as I didn't overthink it. Thankfully I was saved from thinking too much by Conner knocking on the open door to get our attention. “Excuse me, but I think we need to get going if we want to be back in time for dinner like you promised my Dad.”

Right.

“Did you pick a book?” Zander asked, stepping out of the small office space.

“Yes.” Conner showed him a thick book. “I'd like this one, if that's all right.”

Zander nodded. “Good choice.”

“It was so hard to pick! I want to read all of them!”

I'd had no idea my cousin's son could get so enthusiastic about something, but it was nice to see. Zander laughed a little. Also nice to see. It was too bad I couldn't take the both of them back to LA with me.

* * *

“Can I ask you something?” Conner spoke up on our drive back.

“Sure. What do you wanna know?” And here I thought I was done with the twenty-questions part of the day. At least our drive was short; we were almost back home. Conner wouldn't have time for more than one question.

So of course, he picked a loaded one.

“You and Mr. Kerner are just friends, right?”

“Yeah,” I said slowly, hoping that would be enough.

But Conner didn't stop there. “Dad says you were friends when you were children too. Kind of like Jake and I.”

“I guess so.” Where was he going with this? I kept staring at the road ahead, just to keep myself from thinking of that kiss I'd shared with Zander. That hadn't felt much like friendship. But Conner didn't need to know that. How old was the boy anyway? Eleven? Way too young to be thinking about stuff like this.

You were twelve when you first kissed Zander.

But that was different. I wasn't sure how, but it was different. I was moving away. That kiss didn't mark the start of anything but the end. Or a very long break.

Shut up, brain.

“That's good.” Conner sat up straight in his seat. “People are saying alphas and omegas can't be friends, but I think they're wrong.”

“Alphas and omegas can totally be friends.” But Zander and I were maybe not the best example of what such a friendship might look like.

“I knew it!”

I made myself smile at Conner.

Better not tell him about my fake relationship or how that was working out for me.