“What’s that in your hands?” Kade asked as I walked into the house with the book Zander had given me. “Did you buy a book?”

“Sort of? Not really. It was a gift.”

“Ooooh,” Kade said in a meaningful tone of voice.

“Cut it.” I punched his arm.

“Mr. Kerner wants him to read it,” Conner spoke up.

Thanks for that, buddy.

“Does he now?” Kade grinned. “What kind of book is it?” He tried to take it from me, but I held on tightly.

I'd never be able to wipe the smirk off my friend's face when he saw that it was a Romance novel. Really, what was Zander thinking giving this to me? “It's not important,” I insisted. Except it totally was. I couldn't wait to go up to my room and leaf through this book. Maybe try and find the juicy bits. It wasn't that I wanted to read smut, but I had to know exactly what my old friend had given to me.

“I'll stop badgering you when you tell me what's going on,” Kade said. With a glance at Conner, he added, “I think you have homework to do.”

“It can wait.”

“No homework, no books.” Kade held a hand out to Conner, asking for the paperbacks he'd just bought.

“Fine.” Conner turned toward the stairs. “I'll go do my homework.”

“Good kid.” Kade smiled after him. “It’s easy to parent when you know their weaknesses,” he said jokingly when Conner was gone. Then he tugged on my arm. “C’mon, let’s go out into the yard. Shane’s taking care of dinner tonight, so we have some time.” He chuckled before adding, “Sometimes I still can’t believe I have an alpha cooking for me now.”

“Is it so hard to get out of the Vinist mindset?” I asked. My friend had spent the majority of his life around Vinists. Aside from the internet, he was my number one source of information about them.

Kade glanced at me in a way that I knew he was weighing his words. Obviously, he didn’t want me to worry about my brother too much.

It was too late for that, though. No matter how much distance there was between us, I was always going to worry about my brother.

“It can be difficult at times,” Kade said finally. “But I’m getting the hang of it.”

I nodded. “It’s good that you got out of there.”

“Yeah…” He seemed a bit distracted as he led me out into the yard. “I couldn’t have done it without your cousin, you know?”

I tilted my head at him. “But you ran away years before you met Shane.”

“True. But ultimately, he was the one who convinced my ex to sign the divorce papers.” He walked over to a bench at the back of the yard and sat, patting the spot beside him. Taking him up on the invitation, I sank onto the bench next to him. “I guess,” he continued, “maybe you should let your brother know that he can have your help if he needs it. It can be really hard to make it out by yourself.”

“Rhys should already know that.” I sighed. “I wish I could like… visit him or something. See how he’s living.” Instead of spending my nights googling stories about how other omegas lived in Vinist circles.

“You can’t visit him?”

“No, the community where he lives is gated. No strange omegas allowed.”

“Not even family?” My friend scratched his chin. “Sounds like these people are even stricter than my folks.”

“I can’t visit as long as I’m unmated.” I spat the last word; I couldn’t help myself. Who were these people to tell me I wasn’t worthy because I didn’t have an alpha by my side?

“Oh, yeah, that makes sense.”

I shot my friend an incredulous look. This made sense to him? The Vinists must have screwed with his head more than I’d thought.

“I’m not saying it’s sensible,” Kade said quickly. “Just that it makes sense within their world. They wouldn’t want any unmated omegas to tempt their alphas or give their omegas strange ideas.”

I shook my head. “How did you ever live with these people?” How could my brother choose to live with these people?

“I don’t know. I mostly just kept my head down and focused on my music.” He shrugged, and then his face became more animated again. “But you’re trying to change the topic. You know what I really wanted to talk to you about!”

“And you know that I don't really want to talk about that.”

Kade nudged my shoulder with his own. “C'mon, you can tell me. I told you when I had a crush on your widowed cousin, what could be worse?”

“I don't have a crush,” I said quickly. Too quickly, it seemed, because my friend only laughed.

“If you don't have a crush, then why are you getting all flustered?”

“You know me, I get excited about lots of things.”

“That's true. I remember when you woke me up because they had two new ice cream flavors at that dingy parlor across the street.”

“Hey, one of those flavors was apple crumble.”

“I'm allergic to apples.”

I shook my head in defeat. “It's not my fault you're so weird. Who's allergic to apples?”

“Me.” Kade looked up at the branches of the tree we were sitting under.

“What, is that an apple tree?”

“Nope. Cherry.”

“Oh, I bet that looks really pretty in the spring.”

Kade fixed his eyes on me. “Stop trying to change the subject.”

“But you're making it so easy.”

“Nick... please.”

“Why is this so important to you?” My friend wasn't usually the pushy kind. Well, not this pushy.

“Because we've been friends for years and I've never seen you with a crush before.”

I shrugged. “Never had one. Don't have one now.”

“Well, if you're not crushing on anyone, then what makes this alpha so special that you don't want to tell me about him?”

I sighed with the realization that my friend was never going to let up. “Okay, you're right. I'll tell you about him and then you'll see there's nothing going on. His name is Zander. His family lived down the street from us when we were children. That's how we know each other.”

“So you used to be friends then?” Kade's eyes lit up in a way I didn't like. “That's so sweet.”

“Nothing sweet about it,” I tried, but I knew all my attempts at changing my friend's mind would be in vain. He was an artist, and once he had a vision of something in his head, it was difficult to change his viewpoint. If I gave him a couple more minutes he'd come up with a song to describe my childhood relationship with Zander just from the little I'd told him.

And I hadn't even brushed the more interesting parts yet.

“How old were you when you moved away from here?” Kade asked. “Twelve? Thirteen? I forgot.”

“Twelve.”

“Did you try to keep in touch at all?”

I rubbed the back of my neck, a sinking feeling in my stomach. That was one uncomfortable question. “You know how I'm not very good at that sort of thing now?” Ninety percent of the time, it was Kade who called or texted. “I was even worse at it when I was a kid.” Looking back, I was fairly sure that at fourteen, I'd barely attained the attention span of a four-year-old. “Zander called from time to time. At first. Then not so much anymore. You know how it goes.”

Zander had really deserved better. I couldn't blame him for realizing that.

“Yeah, I guess...” Kade nodded. As far as I knew, he wasn't in contact with anyone from his old life, but of course, his circumstances were a bit different from mine. “So, Dean's wedding was the first time you two met again after you moved away?”

I pulled my lower lip between my teeth. “We didn't meet. Not exactly.”

“What do you mean? I saw you looking at him.”

“Yeah, but... well...” I waved my hand in the air. “Looking isn't meeting, is it? I didn't go and talk to him or anything.”

“Why not?”

Why not, indeed.

Kade pointed at my face. “You're growing red.”

Was I? I could feel my skin heat up. Ugh. Shit like this didn't happen to me. It just didn't! So of course, I had no idea how to cope with it. “I didn't talk to him because... I don't know. It would have been awkward. We weren't twelve anymore, you know? And I was kind of shitty, never calling back after he told me that he...” I stopped.

“After he told you what?” Kade leaned in, clearly intrigued.

I pressed back against the bench, wishing I could become one with it and disappear. “Nothing,” I lied, even though I remembered that call as if it was yesterday.

My friend raised an expectant eyebrow at me. “You two were friends... right?” he asked, catching on.

What to say? I kept quiet because I didn't know how to respond. Zander and I were friends, but we were also... kind of more than friends? I never thought too much about it as a kid. I just went with it. Hugging Zander was easy, holding hands was natural. I even kissed him on the lips once. Just once. The day before we moved.

Kade laid an arm around my shoulders. “Did I bring up bad memories?”

“Not bad.” That wasn't the right word. I'd loved my childhood in Oceanport. Zander was a big part of that. It was only that I didn't know what to do about him now that we were grown-ups. Everything seemed more complicated now. Was Zander even single? I glanced at Kade. It was his fault I was in this mess now. So why not let him help me get out of it? “I kissed him before we moved. And then on the phone, he told me that he loved me.”

“Awww.”

I glared at Kade. He was enjoying this story a little too much.

“What did you do?” he asked.

“That's just it.” I shrugged helplessly. “I didn't do anything. He poured his heart out to me and I basically just said me too and hung up because dinner was ready. My mom made pizza that night. With pepperoni and cheese!”

My friend looked at me in disbelief and then he laughed. “Oh God. You still go crazy for pizza.”

“Well, it's pizza.” I had no idea how people managed to think rationally while they could smell fresh pizza cooking in the oven. Even now, saliva gathered in my mouth at the thought. “I didn't realize until later that he really meant what he said, you know? He wasn't just saying I love you the way you say it to friends. I decided I'd call him the next day, but... you know me. I never did. And he never called again.”

Kade squeezed my shoulder. “I'm sorry.”

“I'm the one who's sorry.” I groaned. It had been such a long time since I'd had to think about any of this. Letting my head tilt back up, I peered up at the sky through the branches of the cherry tree, which had already shed its leaves. “I really thought I was over him, you know?”

“But you're not?” Kade's expression softened, his features turning sympathetic.

“I don't know,” I admitted. “I don't know what I feel around him, but it's weird. I try to avoid it.”

The corners of Kade's lips curved up. “Maybe you need to explore it. Find out what it is you're feeling.”

“I don't know about that.” Even if I was somehow attracted to Zander when no other alpha had ever interested me, he lived in Oceanport and I was returning to LA next week. I didn't have to try being in a long-distance relationship to know I'd be horrible at it. “I'll only be here for a few more days. I think I'll just sit it out.”

“I guess that's up to you. But if he's the only alpha you can get interested in...”

“I've always considered my lack of interest in alphas a good thing, you know?” It spared me a lot of drama. Kept me from getting into the sort of mess my brother had gotten himself into.

“All right,” Kade relented. “Whatever you think is best. It's your life.” He glanced at the book I still held in my hands. “Are you going to read that, though?”

“I'll try it. I guess.”

After brushing Zander off all those years ago, wasn't that the least I could do?

Kade got up from the bench. “Want to order pizza?” he asked with a grin.

I couldn't help but laugh. “Isn't your mate cooking dinner?”

“Oh, right. Darn. I guess there are downsides to having someone cook for you after all.”

“Don't worry about it.” I patted Kade on the back. “I'll have pizza some other time.”

Maybe while I read this book and tried not to think about what Zander wanted to say by giving me a romance novel.