Maggie has only gone totally nuclear once. It was when we got split up from a foster home when we were seven. Within three days, they had us back together under the same roof. Maggie would never say what she did, only that she went nuke-crazy and launched everything she had at them. The look in her eyes says she wants to hand Neil his balls in a Dixie cup.
Maggie rocks upright with her pants half on and half off as her jaw locks tight. She looks away from me and cracks her neck, like she’s going to kill someone. When she swings her green eyes back my way, there’s a pleasant, yet terrifying, smile on her face. When she speaks, she sounds cordial, like someone who works in a lovely flower shop and loves people—in other words—she sounds totally demented. “He told you to go?” She laughs lightly and flutters her lashes at me as she tips her head to the side. “And he knew you were being blackmailed?”
I don’t want to talk about it. I’m so tired that I’m going to start drooling on myself soon. “Yeah, he knew.” I don’t want to tell her the rest. As it is, she’s already three stages passed livid.
“What wonderful reason did he give, because it must have been good?” She clasps her hands calmly, but I know there’s an eruption ready to explode beneath the cool façade.
I rub my eyes hard and tug at my dress zipper, but it seems caught in the fabric. “Maggie, put your PJs on and go to sleep. I don’t want to talk about it. Obviously I’m mad at Neil or I wouldn’t be here with you.”
She studies me for a moment, those suspicious eyes narrowing, before saying, “But Neil doesn’t realize you’re upset, and you want him to think that Bryan Ferro nailed you.” Her eyebrow lifts when I glance at her. It’s her I-know-what-you’re-thinking face.
Unfortunately, she realizes exactly what I’m thinking, but that doesn’t make me want to discuss it. Neil shouldn’t have offered me up like that. It felt like he abandoned me when I needed him. I have issues with that particular topic, which makes me constantly second guess myself—but not this time. I wouldn’t have done this to him. I wouldn’t have made him sleep with someone for money. Damn, that makes me sound like a prostitute.
Pressing my eyes closed, I look away. “Maybe.”
Perhaps Neil should suffer a little for being so callous, because that’s what it was—indifference. At the same time, before tonight ever happened, Neil handed me my life back. The guy was an anchor when the shore was far out of sight. He was there for me in my darkest hours and part of me feels guilty for being here with Maggie, even though I know I shouldn’t. Sometimes I wish I didn’t feel anything. It seems like life would be easier.
At the moment, Maggie’s emotions are smeared across her face like molten crayons. “Holy shit, Hallie! Why are you with him? Neil came along and picked you up when you were—”
I cut her off. “I know what I was, and maybe Neil was in the right place at the right time, but he’s never done anything like this before, and neither have I. I kept this from him.” I lied to him, over and over again.
“And he’s kept stuff from you! Would you have made him do something he didn’t want to do?” She pauses, and adds, “You didn’t want to see Ferro again, did you?”
I shake my head and look away. She’s right. There’s no way that I would have made Neil do something like this, but he didn’t really give me a choice. I had no choice, not if I wanted to get on with my life. There’s too much money at stake. Holding up my hand, I say, “I don’t want to talk about it anymore tonight.”
Maggie makes an annoyed sound in the back of her throat and continues to get dressed. After she pulls on her sweats, she goes over to a rust-stained sink and brushes her teeth. While foaming at the mouth, she turns and looks at me and jabs the toothbrush toward me. “You know I’d kick ass for you. Just tell me who and I’m there.” On the last word, toothpaste foam goes flying from her lips.
I offer a half smile. “I know you would, but I don’t know who pissed me off more—Neil or Bryan.”
Maggie tosses me a nightshirt and continues talking, but my mind is reeling. I’m mad at Neil, but Bryan—I don’t know. The way he spoke, the way his voice caught in his throat when he said certain things, it’s almost like he didn’t want to do it—but he did—he blackmailed me.
He didn’t sleep with you. He kissed you and threw you out, that inner-voice chimes inside my head like a clock.
Bryan’s words didn’t match his actions, and if he didn’t drive that knife into the thief’s shoulder, I would have thought the man I saw tonight was my Bryan from years ago, but that wasn’t him. Whatever’s happened to Bryan between then and now has changed him, and although the new man saved me, he frightens me.