I’m sitting across from Bryan in a little booth at a Friendly’s restaurant, out of all places. The irony doesn’t escape me. This is where happy people come to have food and ice cream, not deranged Ferro men and their blackmailed friends, or whatever I am.
Poking at a fry, I finally ask, “What are we doing here?”
Bryan hasn’t made any mention of sex since we left Neil’s this morning. Before we’d gone, I told Maggie to stay put, but she won’t. I know her. She’ll go back home after work and act like nothing happened and it’s going to get her killed. I’d been hoping Bryan would do what he wanted and toss me out again so I could stop her. I poke at the ketchup, before dropping the fry.
Bryan doesn’t answer right away. He has that casual smile he wears on his face like life is so fun and he can’t get enough. Sometimes I want to slap it away. How can he act like nothing matters? He’s not the man I remember.
He flashes his green gaze at me before grinning that beautiful smile that makes a small dimple appear on his cheek. I remember tracing the lines of his face with my tongue years ago, and paying extra attention to that little spot. It’s like he knows, because the slant of his mouth changes as if he’s thinking dirty thoughts. “We’re having lunch.”
“I know that, but is this seriously why you picked me up this morning? Because you didn’t want to eat alone?”
He pops a fry into his mouth and nods. The movement makes his dark hair fall over his brow. He sweeps it back with his hand and tips his head to the side while pointing a new fry at me. “You hate eating alone.”
“That’s not the point.”
“Then, what is the point?”
“This wasn’t supposed to be a date! Sex, Bryan, you said you wanted sex and that’s it.” I whisper-yell at him, leaning across the table, but it doesn’t stop the waitress from choosing that moment to reappear.
Her eyes go wide as the grumpy expression on her face vanishes and is replaced by an amused and somewhat interested look. “Need anything else, hun? Well, anything that I can get you?” Bryan nearly spews his milkshake as my face turns cherry red. The waitress looks me over and then winks at me before she walks away.
Bryan is practically choking, but finally manages to speak. “Can we add her to the agreement? I think she’s into you.” His body shakes as he tries to repress his laughter and fails.
I’ve slumped forward to hide my face at the same time I’ve slid down in the booth. Someone, shoot me. I kick Bryan under the table. “I want to leave.”
“Yes, you said that already. All good things come in time.” My lips are drawn together, trying not to say the line running through my head. Bryan and I used to banter so well, but I don’t want this. It’s not real. He’s extorting me. I wouldn’t be here if he wasn’t. “Oh, come on, Hallie. I know you want to say it. Just say it. Be you and stop acting like the repressed version of yourself that your boyfriend turned you into.”
“I’m not discussing Neil with you.”
“Yeah, because there’s nothing to discuss.”
“I hate you.”
“Yeah, you said that already.”
The waitress walks past and drops a check on the table. Bryan picks it up and chuckles. “Want her number?” He holds up the tab and shows me her handwritten message on the top: Call me XOXO followed by her number.
I make an aggravated sound and shove out of the booth. We have to get on with things so I can stop Maggie. I can’t be in two places at once. I wish Bryan would just get on with things, but he doesn’t. I try to walk out of the restaurant without him, but he grabs a belt loop on my jeans and tugs me back to him as we walk outside into the crisp air.
Then his arm is around my waist. He’s walking next to me and whispering in my ear, “Got some place to be?”
“No, you’re the only person who I’m whoring myself out to today.” He flinches and his hand slips from my side. I continue to walk, not noticing that he’s stopped. When I turn back, Bryan is watching me and I can tell that there’s a war waging within him. He knows damn well what he’s done to me, but he did it anyway.
“You’re not a whore.” The wind whips the hair out of his eyes as he stands there, unblinking. His voice is calm, even.
The corner of my mouth tugs up into a sad smile and I shake my head. “I know what I am, what I have to do, and I already said yes. I am what you made me, so let’s not sugarcoat things. I don’t want to pretend.”
“I do.” His confession surprises me.
My lips part, but I don’t know what to say, so I stand there gaping at him. A car pulls into the parking lot and drives between us. Neither of us moves, we just stand there frozen with unspoken thoughts. He looks away and takes a shaky breath before that playful smirk returns to his face. It’s his mask, a guise that hides every thought in his head, so no one will ever know what he really thinks or feels about anything.
I hate it. I want him to throw it away, but I don’t dare ask. The guy I knew isn’t in there anymore. He can’t be. I step toward him and look up into his face. The pull between us is strong and I know I’ll regret this, but I say it anyway. “Then, let’s pretend. I’ll be me and you be you. No time has passed, we never broke up, you don’t hate me—oh, and you didn’t threaten me. I’m here because I want to be. I’ll be her, I’ll be the version of me that you remember, because that’s what you want, isn’t it? I wrote about the past, but you want to relive it, so we will.”
Bryan studies my face as I speak, his eyes lock with mine and don’t look away. “And?”
“And you will act like the man you are now and stop this fake crap.”
Bryan’s chest rises and falls as his eyes drift to my dark hair. He lifts a curl and winds it around his finger, studying the smoothness of my dark strands like he’s never done so before. “You don’t want that.”
“Uh, no, you don’t want that. Bryan…” my voice trails off. I’m so frustrated. Butterflies are swirling in my stomach and I swear to God that they’re going to fly out of my nose if I don’t either kiss him or step away, but I can’t. We’re locked together like two pieces of a puzzle. I drop my eyes and suck in a jagged gulp of air. Bryan’s gaze heats my face, slowly caressing it, relearning the lines and curves that were once so familiar to him.
“Hallie.” I look up when he calls my name and before I know what’s happened his hands are on my cheeks and his lips are pressed to mine. It’s the softest kiss I’ve ever felt, gentle as a snowflake’s caress. It leaves me shaking and craving more, but he’s pulled away.
Bryan’s lips are parted as he watches me. He finally says, “Things are this way for a reason. Trust me when I say that you don’t want to know more.”
Bitterness chokes me. “Trust you. That’s rich.”
“I trust you.” Damn, those eyes. They penetrate me to my core, stealing glimpses of my soul. His expression is so sincere that it scares me.
I give a knee-jerk reaction and counter, “You shouldn’t. You don’t know me anymore, and as soon as I get the chance, I’ll get even with you for this. I swear to God, I will.”
I mean every word I say. Vengeance burns through me and a steady stream of heat makes my fingers curl at my sides. Despite the attraction, I can sense when someone is out to hurt me and I know—without a doubt—that Bryan will decimate me. I feel the sensation swirl within my gut, warning me to stay away.
The luminous smile returns to his beautiful face before he clicks his tongue and raises a brow at me. Leaning in close to my face, he whispers, “I’m looking forward to it.”