Going against everything I’ve said, Dex affects me like no other. He’s gotten under my skin. Inside of Cinderella’s Castle, I back up, pulling Dex with me toward one of the beds behind us. I take his shirt off and kiss the warm skin of his shoulder. When I look up, he kisses me as his hands slide up from my waist to my ribs, his thumbs running along the sides of my breasts. Slipping my arms around his neck, I pull myself against him. “Make love to me, Dex.”

His breath covers my mouth as he pulls away. “No, it’s not time.”

“Time is irrelevant. We’re living our own fairytale. I want to feel you again.”

“I want more than just a physical connection to you, sweetheart. I want to own your soul the way you’ve taken possession of mine. It won’t be quick and it won’t be easy, but I’m gonna win you heart and soul, so much so that you’ll be begging me to fuck you.”

As much as his words hit that soft spot in my heart, they also make me want him even more. “I’m already begging.”

He chuckles. “Nope, you’re not quite there yet.” Backing away from me, he picks his shirt up off the ground. “And sadly, our time is up.” The grandfather clock in the other room chimes the hour as if on cue. “We have to go.” He buttons his shirt while I’m left dumbfounded, confused, and downright horny.

Disgruntled, I huff as I walk past him and head for the stairs, needing to burn off the rage I’m feeling over being abandoned in this state.

Bob is downstairs with the same big grin he’s been wearing all night. “Did you have a nice time?”

“I did, until the end,” I reply without thinking.

“Oh, my apologies. Was something not to your liking?” he asks while Dex laughs.

I quickly clarify, “No, no, no. You were all wonderful and the service was impeccable. My date on the other hand seems to think teasing a woman is the way to her heart.”

Bob nods, understanding without me having to go into the details. He clears his throat as he looks over at Dex. “Well, I’m glad Disney could be of service tonight. Mr. Caggiano, is there anything else we can do for you or Ms. Floros?”

“No, as Ms. Floros mentioned, it was perfect—”

“Perfect,” I scoff, still frustrated… sexually.

Bob smiles. “Wonderful. Follow me then and I’ll walk you out.”

We follow, side by side, but behind Bob. The stragglers from the park are making their way out as well. I feel Dex’s hand tap against me and then he loops his little finger with mine. I’m not really mad at him, but definitely confused, so I whisper, “What does tonight mean?”

“It means when the time is right, we’re gonna be together.”

“The timing isn’t right?” I know it’s a dumb question, but I guess I feel that maybe the timing is right, finally. What am I missing?

“We rushed into it the first time and the second time. This time, I’m not rushing, I’m changing so when we’re together, I can savor and appreciate you.”

“So you won’t appreciate me if we get together now?”

“No. Because I still have to work on sorting my life out first. But I want you to know there’s no one else for me. There never was.”

His sweet words hit me like an arrow straight to the heart. His gentle side is so unexpected from the tough armor he wears for the public on a daily basis. “I don’t know what to say to that.”

“I don’t need you to say anything. I just need you to know I may not ever be perfect, but once we’re together, I’ll always be true to you.”

“And in the meantime?” I find myself chanting quietly, hoping he says what I want to hear. Please say you won’t date anyone. Please say you won’t date anyone.

He stops, pulling me to a bench, and sits. I do as well and I notice Bob stops up ahead, giving us a moment of privacy. Dex takes both my hands in his, then brings one to his lips and kisses the inside of my wrist. “I’m not gonna ask you to put your life on hold, Rochelle. I think you’ve done that for too many years already. But I will ask that you keep me in your heart.”

My mouth drops open. “You’re letting me go?”

“No, I’m letting expectations that are impossible for me to live up to go.”

“So while you’re sorting things out, you won’t wait for me?”

“I’d love to make you a million promises, but right now I can’t.”

Disappointment settles in. “That’s why you wouldn’t be with me at the castle?”

He nods, releasing one of my hands. “It would have been so easy to make love to you and then tell you I need space.” Dex presses his hand to my cheek and I find my eyes closing to the touch I missed so much, relishing it. He says, “I remember how it feels to be with you, to be inside you. But my life is a mess and I don’t want to drag you and the boys into it.”

I open my eyes, no tears to cry this time. My sentimental side touched by his thoughtfulness as my rational side agrees with his decision. “It’s like we always knew, we can only be together in Neverland.”

“It’s learning how to make Neverland reality. One day I’ll figure it out. You deserve it, Rochelle. You deserve magic and more.”

“You say that I deserve so much, but so do you, so much more than you know.”

Standing, he offers me a hand up. “Maybe one day I’ll believe you. Until then,” he says, signaling toward Bob who has stepped forward, unsubtly tapping his watch.

After taking a deep breath, I exhale long and slow. “Until then…” As soon as I say it, I start to worry how long ‘Until then’ will be and don’t bother finishing.

Dex and my goodbye at the main gate of Disneyland doesn’t last long enough, but it’s sweet and when I lay my head on his chest, he embraces me with love.

I drive home replaying every part, every word, and every minute of our time together. Dex has grown, but he still has issues to deal with, addictions, and his family. He thinks he’ll be whole, be better, be deserving if everything comes all tied up with a bow and wrapped up in a neat package. Life doesn’t work that way. I know this firsthand.

But who needs tidy or pretty, bows, or happy ever afters? Romance is about the journey, the good, the bad, ugly and pretty, the highs, the lows. I don’t need perfect and I don’t want it. I want to be happy and enjoy this life I’ve been given. I want my kids happy and to be surrounded by love. I want that for Dex too and if that means he needs time to figure his life out, then I’ll give that to him.

Strength and understanding guide my direction over the next week until finally, late one night, I realize how saying goodbye to Dex was like giving a piece of my heart away and hoping it finds its way home again.