I couldn’t get enough of her. The second I’d silenced her with a kiss, everything around us vanished. Her past, my marriage, her troubles, my job. Nothing mattered while I had my mouth on hers. But as much as I yearned to submerge myself in her touch, I had to tap on the brakes before we found ourselves in another situation like last week.

We broke apart, both needing air, but I never dropped my hand from her face. I craved the contact with her, never wanting it to end, yet I couldn’t rush this. I had to tread lightly, and there wasn’t a single part of me that cared. I’d go as slow as I had to, just as long as she gave me the chance to make her fall in love with me, too.

“There’s still so much we need to talk about.” I blew the words across her swollen lips. “But I’m pretty sure I can’t think properly right now.”

When she shifted closer to me, her face still cradled in my hand, it caused her erect nipples to brush along my forearm. “Then stop thinking…” she whispered hoarsely.

I could feel her hesitation and the inconspicuous, nervous tremors that ran through her and riddled her entire body. Had I not been so close to her, touching her, kissing her…I probably would have never noticed. But I did. And I couldn’t ignore the contradiction between her actions and reactions.

The way she silenced me with her mouth was brazen and bold. Yet the way she trembled left me hesitant to continue; her response indicated uncertainty. I refused to do anything she wasn’t completely comfortable with, so I ended it once more.

“There’s no need to rush this, Jade.”

She kept her chin tilted and lids lowered, preventing me from reading her expression. “I’m not trying to rush anything. I’ve just never felt like this before.”

“Like what?”

Her gaze slowly drifted up to meet mine. “Good. I can’t explain it any other way.”

“And I promise it won’t ever stop.”

My words appeared to settle her, yet the tremors remained. I could only assume they were brought on by adrenaline, because there wasn’t an ounce of fear in her eyes when she held my stare and asked, “Will you do something for me?”

Had I not been lost in all that was Jade, I would’ve given her question more thought. But apparently, nothing was strong enough to break the spell she’d cast upon me, leaving me too weak to do anything other than agree. “Absolutely.”

“Will you take off your shirt?” Excitement filled her eyes, and hope danced in her voice.

“Seriously?” I was baffled, not at all expecting that to be her request. But when she did nothing but stare at me, one eyebrow quirked in expectation, I gave in. If Jade wanted me shirtless, then that was what she’d get.

I barely had it off before she was on her feet, making her way to the bedroom door. Her blue eyes sparkled mischievously on her way back to me, and that’s when I realized she not only closed the door, but she also locked it. I’d told myself we would take this slow, yet she was making it very difficult to keep that promise.

I stood to meet her, although she stopped my pursuit before I’d taken the first step. Standing in front of me, she closed her eyes, and on an exhale, she brought her lips to the center of my chest. My heart exploded and my knees weakened, forcing me back onto the edge of the mattress.

She situated herself between my legs, now almost eye level, and closed her mouth over mine. The entire time, I let her take the lead, not once stripping her of control, and the longer our kiss lasted, the more lost in her I became. So lost, in fact, that when her hands slid down my stomach, I didn’t stop her. When her fingers began to unfasten the button on my jeans, I didn’t give it any thought. And when she slowly dragged the zipper down, even the grinding of the metal teeth didn’t make me question where this was going.

But as soon as she tried to gain access, unable to get far while I remained seated, I was finally brought back to reality. In an instant, I broke away from her lips. “Jade…this can wait. It’s late, and you have work tomorrow. We don’t have to do this now.”

“I know, Cash. But I want to.” She peppered my jaw with kisses, bringing her mouth to my ear to whisper, “I want to touch you…all of you.” I was aware that her actions were driven by endorphins, causing her to be more forward, but as soon as she hooked her thumbs into the waistband of my jeans, I lost my will to fight against her.

I lifted my hips enough to help her drag my jeans down my legs, my boxers with them. When she stepped out of the way, I toed off my shoes and kicked my pants the rest of the way off, leaving me completely naked in front of her.

Jade took her time exploring my body while I refrained from touching her. But the moment she took my dick in her hand, I nearly lost all self-control. Her palm slid carefully over my shaft, so lightly it only served to tease me. I had to force my ass to stay on the mattress rather than pump myself in her grip, because I needed more friction. The longer it went on, the worse it became. Finally, after I groaned in what probably sounded like pain, she stilled, which forced me to look into her anxiety-filled eyes.

“Am I doing it wrong?” Gone was the vixen, and in her place stood a terrified goddess.

I was aware of her past, of that asshole taking her hand and making her do things she wasn’t comfortable with, so I refused to do anything remotely similar. But telling someone how to jack you off was a sure way to go soft.

Keeping my eyes on hers, I carefully held her wrist, silently asking permission. She never gave me a nod or verbally answered me, because her expression told me everything. It wasn’t simply consent, but almost a plea to help her through this. She wasn’t ready to give up—she only sought to please me, yet she needed to understand how.

I placed my hand over hers, gripping myself but feeling only her touch. I tightened my fingers to show her how hard to squeeze, and then began to slide our hold up and down, slowing toward the head with slightly more pressure than before. After several pumps, I released my grip and let her take over. While she adjusted to working my dick solo, I held her by the back of the neck and took her mouth with mine.

I needed air and broke the kiss. “Fuck, Jade. That feels so good,” I rasped against her lips. She didn’t say anything, but I didn’t expect her to, either. The more I praised her with words and reactions, the more confident she became. And the more confident she was, the closer I got to the peak. “Jade, Jade, Jade…stop,” I rushed out, pulling her hand off me.

“What’d I do?” Panic filled every part of her from her eyes to her voice.

“God…nothing. But if you didn’t stop, I was about to come all over you.”

Her posture visibly eased. “Isn’t that the point?”

A huffed chuckle rolled through me. “Ultimately, I guess. But I don’t want to come in your hand.”

Something shifted in her expression, confusion maybe. “Then where?”

Not wasting another second, I lifted her shirt and tossed it onto the floor with my discarded clothes. Her bare breasts called to me, begging me to taste them. So before I moved to her shorts, I lavished her chest with attention. I flicked one nipple with my tongue, and when it was hard enough to cut glass, I switched to the other, pulling it into my mouth and sucking on it.

Nothing beat the moans coming from Jade. There wasn’t a sweeter sound in the world. And I wanted to do everything I could so they’d never end.

I took my time removing her shorts, sliding them over her hips and down her thighs at a snail’s pace. And when I had her in nothing but panties, I couldn’t even remember the promise I’d made of going slow. It didn’t exist. I swept her into my arms as I stood, and then spun her around until I had her flat on her back, my body covering hers.

“Tell me if you want me to stop.” I made sure she held my stare while I carefully dragged her panties down her legs. But other than offer a nod of agreement, she just lay there and watched me completely undress her. I crawled back up her body and brought my mouth to her ear. “To answer your question, the only place I want to come is inside you…preferably at the same time you come on my cock.”

Her nails dug into my back, which fueled my fire. But then she spoke, and it halted everything. In a raspy, heavy voice, she uttered, “I wouldn’t get my hopes up if I were you.”

I picked my head up and looked at her. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing…just that you shouldn’t take it personal if I can’t…you know.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. It was late, and I was tired, but it was a travesty to think she hadn’t ever had an orgasm. “So you’ve never gotten off?” Had I planned my words better, I would have softened the question a bit.

She shrugged slightly beneath me. “I have, but only if it’s not about me.”

“What do you mean?”

The moment she started to speak, the hesitation and uncertainty in her tone was obvious. “I can fantasize about a man, but I can’t put myself into the fantasy. As soon as I become part of the scene in my mind, it stops immediately.”

I could only assume she was referring to playing her own fiddle, but I wasn’t going to embarrass her by asking. Instead, I lowered my mouth to hers and said, “I’m pretty certain I can change that. There’s no doubt in my mind that I can get the job done.” It came off playful and teasing, and she smiled against my lips.

“You sound very sure of yourself.” Her whispered words bathed my skin in a song of seduction.

I couldn’t help but run my hand along her side and over her bare hip to her thigh. Goose bumps rose on her flesh and tickled my palm, which only served to spur me on. She was playing with fire, but it was one I hoped would ignite her soul and not burn her. “That’s because I am, Jade.”

Her face tilted up and her mouth found mine, her lips as soft as silk just before she opened. I responded in kind, and our tongues danced together. With each swirl, my dick became impossibly harder. She reached her hand between us and wrapped her fingers around my shaft. Applying the perfect amount of pressure, she stroked the length, once, twice.

“Fuck…” I couldn’t help the groan of need, and I loved the murmur of a giggle she gave me in return.

I shifted to the side, just enough to slide my hand from her leg to her inner thigh, and then up to her core. The moment my fingers grazed her slick center, I was done for. I teased the area, waiting for her to halt my actions, but instead, she opened wider, inviting me in.

“Cash…” Had she said my name without a hedonistic undertone, I would have retreated immediately, but it came out like a plea, encouraging me to prove to her I could take her places she’d never been.

One syllable was all it took for me to dip my finger into her warmth and rub her clit with my thumb. I expected her to release her hold on my cock, yet she kept stroking while I added another finger. But when I brought my mouth to her neck, she gave up on the hand job in favor of receiving the pleasure I offered. And I loved every aching minute of it.

She had my undivided attention as I fingered her. She let me know when I hit the spot that drove her wild by arching her back and thrusting her chest toward me. A trail of kisses led me to her breasts, and I took her nipple in my mouth, sucking it while my fingers fucked her. I loved the way her nails dug into my skin, proving she was not only enjoying the fantasy, but she was lost in it.

“Please,” she begged, but for what, I wasn’t sure.

“Tell me what you need, Jade.”

“You.” She gasped when I curled my fingers in a come-hither motion. “All of you.”

There was nothing I craved more than to sink into her, to release the pressure that consumed me, but if she wanted it, she would have to take it.

As if she read my mind, she eased her arm under my shoulder and wrapped me in a hug. My fingers kept working, and she rewarded me with moan after gratifying moan. Then she hooked her leg behind mine and shifted me over her once more, forcing my hand away so I could settle between her legs.

“Jade…”

She silenced me with her mouth, and before I could react, her heels dug into my ass. In an instant, I sank balls deep into a heaven I never believed existed until that moment. With my lips firmly pressed to hers, she gasped for air, rounding her spine, pushing her hips up, and I waited while she adjusted to my size.

It didn’t take long before she cupped my ass, trying to coerce me to move. I gave her what she asked for, rocking my pelvis like the waves rolling in before retreating. Undulating in desire, a lust driven by love. Jade was clearly lost in the moment, and I desperately worked to bring her to nirvana.

I locked my eyes on hers and begged, “Tell me…who’s here?”

Confusion clouded the blue. “You.”

“And…?” I needed her to be here, right here, in this moment.

“Me,” she panted, realizing what I’d meant.

The intensity of the heat surrounding my dick grew, and her muscles tightened with each breath she held a little longer than the last. She was close, and I wanted her orgasm more than she did. I shifted slightly, and her nails nearly broke my skin. Knowing I had her within reach, I pushed inside her with each flex and drew my length back out as I relaxed. I gathered her body in my arms, tucked my head into the crook of her neck, and I brought her to the first of what I was sure would be many climaxes, just before I reached my own.

Slowly catching her breath, her soft, whispered question grazed my cheek when she asked, “Will you stay with me? Please?”

The pleading in her tone broke me. I’d move heaven and Earth to give her anything she asked for, and this was a simple request.

I held her face in my hand, our exhales mixing between us. “Of course.”

She rewarded me with the brightest smile I’d ever seen. I gently pulled away from her, slowly dragging my dick out of her warmth, and then moved to help her climb beneath the covers. Once she settled next to me, I slid to the edge of the bed to turn off the lamp.

Before I could pull the chain and cloak the room in darkness, a single, cool fingertip outlined the wings and the sword of my tattoo—the archangel Michael. Goose bumps covered my skin at her gentle touch and probing exploration. Other than asking what it was, she’d never mentioned it. But as soon as she sucked in a breath, I knew she wouldn’t be able to hold in her curiosity any longer.

“What’s the reason you chose this angel?” Her question was so soft I actually felt it against my skin more than I heard it. “Does it represent you, a protector, or was it because you needed his protection?”

Turning my head to the side so she could hear me better, I said, “Maybe a little bit of both.” I was powerless against her soft caress. It was like each graze of her nails brought me one step closer to telling her everything. “I think it was more for the comfort of what he stands for, if I’m being honest.”

“What does he stand for?”

I was beyond thankful that she remained behind me, because I worried she’d see the truth written on my face while I tried to navigate around actual lies. “Taking any means necessary for the greater good.”

“What does that even mean?”

“The Bible makes it very clear that there is no justification for killing someone.” As soon as those words left my lips, her hand stilled in its exploration of the ink lining my back. But I didn’t let that stop me. “No matter the reason, the cause, how it happens…we are not allowed to cast judgment upon anyone, regardless of their crimes. But I have a hard time accepting that.”

“Are you saying you can justify killing someone?” Fear was embedded in her tone.

I had no idea why I’d taken her question this far, but it was too late to back out now. “If a cop arrives at a scene where a man shot and killed someone else, and then turned the gun on the officer…does the officer not have a right to defend himself by any means necessary? Is he supposed to stand there and let the guy shoot him, too? If you’re being attacked, and to get the person off you, you hit him in the head with a rock or a lamp…should you be punished if he dies?”

“Well…no.”

“According to religion, killing is killing. But here, we have the right to defend ourselves. We have the right to defend others. We may not be prosecuted or ever see the inside of a jail cell for doing what needs to be done, but what happens when we leave here? If the rules for taking a life are black and white on the other side, then does that mean we spend eternity in hell for protecting someone?”

“So this angel”—her fingertip lightly followed the black lines—“is to make you feel better about ending someone’s life as long as you have a good reason?”

It wasn’t so much her question as it was her tone that told me she’d never be okay with what I did for a living. I’d been married for six years, and not once did I ever contemplate being honest with Colleen about my job, but while I sat here, her hands on my skin, I had to fight against the need to explain it all to her. Now, I had a decision to make: Continue to lie to her while building a relationship and possible life together, or get a new job.

The latter wasn’t so easy.

“It’s not just that…it’s everything. Take every sin, and most of the time, you’ll find an exception. Thou shall not lie. What if a lie is the only thing keeping someone you love safe? Thou shall not steal. If you walk in on someone about to swallow a bottle of pills, are you not supposed to steal it away from them?”

When her touch left my skin, I turned to find out why. But then I saw her bright eyes, full of curiosity, not blame. She didn’t regard me with hate or disgust. And even though she hadn’t said the words, love flowed freely from her gaze, matched by the soft curve of her lips.

I gently tugged on the lamp’s chain, and when the light went out, I slid beneath the covers beside her. I lifted my arm the way I’d done countless times before to invite her into my embrace, and she willingly rested her head on my shoulder, forming her body along my side. Somehow, it felt different lying with her in bed than it ever had on the couch, but in the best possible way.

With her palm pressed against my chest, she quietly asked, “Why are his wings dirty?” A yawn hovered at the edges of her words.

“Because not every soiled soul makes for a bad person.”

Silence settled around me, and I thought she’d gone to sleep. But as soon as I closed my eyes, she mumbled, “You should’ve left the light on.”

“Why’s that?”

“You broke a rule…so it’s only fair if I get to watch you sleep.”

Amusement rolled through me as I held her closer and gave in to slumber.

* * *

Morning came too early…or late, however I decided to look at it. Jade stretched and hummed, the sheet falling away from her breasts and calling my attention to her nipples. It was enough to wake me up and pull her into me. My morning wood made her blush, so she tucked her face into the crook of my neck to hide from me.

“Keep breathing on me like that, and I won’t let you go to work,” I groaned out.

Quickly, she pulled away and turned her bright, stunned gaze toward the alarm clock on the nightstand. “Oh, crap!” She jumped out of bed and couldn’t put her clothes on fast enough. “I have to be at work in an hour, and Aria…”

We stared at each other for an elongated second, both understanding the rest of her sentence. I tossed the covers off and grabbed my discarded clothes from last night while she resumed covering herself.

“I’ll go check on her, see where she’s at. And then I’ll take her back to her room to get her changed, and on my way, I’ll knock on the door to let you know it’s safe to—” Her words came to an abrupt halt when she finally turned to face me. “Oh, you’re already dressed. Okay then…I guess we don’t really need a strategy, huh?”

My shoulders bounced with laughter and I shook my head while I stalked toward her. I set my hands on her hips and pulled her against me long enough to press a kiss to her forehead. Then I grabbed the door handle and twisted it, ready to check on Aria, although I stalled when Jade glanced up.

Panic glittered in her eyes. “What if she asks why you were in here?”

“Why are you so worried about that?” I pinched her chin and smiled. “Just bypass the question and ask her where the remote is. She’ll forget all about it.”

“Is that seriously what you do?”

With a shrug, I asked, “Hey, Jade…do you know where my phone is?”

She turned and scanned the floor around the bed where my clothes had landed last night. After a moment, she peered at me from over her shoulder with a grin so wide it made her squint. We shared a laugh and then left the room.

To our amazement, Aria was on the couch, remote in hand, eyes glued to the TV. As soon as she saw us, her gaze fell upon me, and she was on her feet in less than a second. She latched herself onto my leg, full of excitement that hadn’t been there when we’d walked out.

I met Jade’s stare and said, “See? All that worrying for nothing.”

She blew me off with a huff before grabbing Aria by the arm. “Come on, sweetheart, we have to get dressed—Mommy’s running late.”

Aria screamed, refusing to release my leg, and it visibly irritated Jade.

“I don’t have time for this. We need to hurry.”

“Just leave her here,” I offered, surprising even myself. I enjoyed spending time with Aria, but I’d never entertained the idea of taking care of her alone. Anytime it was just her and me, Jade was, at the most, across the street.

“I appreciate the offer, but I can’t accept it. She’s my child, my responsibility.”

“I’ll respect your decision, but I honestly don’t mind. You’re already running late, and I’ll be here anyway, so I don’t see the point in rushing to get you both ready while I sit around the house all day.”

She glanced down at the princess who pleaded while bouncing on her feet, arms still latched around my leg. “I would…it’s just the whole bathroom thing.”

I understood what she meant without any further explanation. Even though she’d never said it out loud, I was well aware she wasn’t comfortable having me change her daughter or help her use the bathroom—and honestly, neither was I. “That won’t be an issue, I promise. She’s capable of doing her thing on her own, right?”

“Yeah, but she still needs help wiping.”

“What better way to make her learn how to do it by herself?”

It didn’t appear she liked that answer much.

“Okay…so you’d just have a pair of underwear with skid marks to clean when you get home.”

Or that one, either.

“I’m just trying to help, Jade. You don’t have to take it. I won’t push it on you, nor will I get upset. You’re the parent, and like I’ve always told you, you make the call, and I’ll back it up.” I held her hand, needing her to feel my truth.

“Fine. Okay, yeah.” She nodded. “But you better call me if you need anything—and I mean anything. Got it, Cash?”

“I think I’ve got this handled.” No one could say I didn’t have confidence. Even when fear trickled into my head, I remained steadfast in my decision. I could do this. It was only for a few hours—or six—and Aria was an angel.

Jade raced against the clock to shower and dress in order to make it to the library on time. After a quick goodbye, she dashed out the door…only to run back in a minute later, defeat painting her face red. “My car won’t start. Seriously…why today? I don’t have time for this.”

I stood from the couch, where Aria and I watched Barbie’s Dreamhouse while she ate her breakfast. I dug my keys out of my pocket and tossed them to her. “Take mine.”

They landed at her feet. She didn’t make one move to catch them, just stared at them flying through the air and watched as they crashed to the floor in front of her. Her large eyes, completely filled with fear, met mine. “I can’t drive that thing!”

Confused, I asked, “Why not? It’s a car…not a tank.”

“Yeah, a car that’s worth more than…more than…” She glanced around as if searching for something to use as a comparison. Not satisfied with anything, she waved her arms by her sides in irritation and said, “Everything I own put together.”

“I’m not following what the cost of the car has to do with you driving it.”

“Uh…because I can’t pay to have it fixed or replaced if something happens.”

“Then it’s a good thing I have insurance.” I pointed to the keys at her feet. “Take it.”

Reluctantly, she did, and with a sheepish grin, she waved and left once more.

“Looks like it’s just you and me, Tyke.” I settled back into the couch and soaked up her infectious giggles at her nickname.