Chapter 36
Madison had no idea what her father had told Ben during their little Sunday walk, but it had obviously been something he had needed to hear, judging by the peaceful smile he had been sporting during their whole flight back to New York.
She notified her landlord that she was moving out and, with the help of everyone, all her belongings were either transferred into Ben’s loft or given away in less than a month.
It had been weird at first, living in the luxurious building. To have a doorman saying ‘Hello’ and ‘Good evening, Doctor Goldstein.’ To never hear a sound from a neighbor or from outside. They were up too high, and the windows were too thick for the sound to come through. The only things waking her up now were the light if they hadn’t closed the curtains tightly enough or Ben’s occasional snoring.
January had arrived quickly, and they had celebrated their very first anniversary by sharing a bottle of apple cider since she couldn’t drink alcohol.
Of course, Ben had slipped his Lord Of The Rings golden band in the glass.
Of course, she had said no.
He still used the same ring every time he would propose. Not that she minded. It was basically catnip for a girl like her, and she was positive he was using it in the hope she’d cave in, if only to be able to wear it on her finger.
That would be a very Ben thing to do.
Their relationship had shifted from extremely sexual to comfortably domestic and… asexual. They hadn’t had sex in quite a while.
If someone had told her, a few months ago, that she’d suddenly decide that sex wasn’t all that great after all, she’d have laughed in their face.
Yet, here she was. She was much more interested in other activities lately, like sleeping, napping, snacking, cuddling, and napping a little more before finally being able to go to bed and sleep until the next day. Everleigh and her doctor had told her it was perfectly normal. The first trimester was very tiring for most future mothers.
Except they were now in the middle of the second one, and she still felt mostly the same.
Good thing she had an appointment with her ob-gyn today. She’d ask her if it was normal to still feel so apathetic. She was also barely showing, another thing that worried her a little, despite the many reassurances around her. Her stomach was a little curved, but nothing that screamed “I’m pregnant!” and it was hard for her to not think about a dozen scenarios that all involved something going wrong with the baby.
Winter had been cold, but they were enjoying a few abnormally warm days lately, and her short walk to Ben’s office building was invigorating.
One quick stop at the reception desk to get the pass Ben had requested for her, and then she was in the elevator, watching the changing floor numbers until it finally stopped on the 24th. There had been quite a few changes since her last visit in the summer. Ben had switched offices, and she should have asked for better directions, she realized, because she had no idea where it was located.
“Can I help you?” a woman, probably in her thirties, asked her. She was tall, slim, impeccably dressed, with her hair in a ponytail that looked highly professional and sleek.
“Hum. Yes. I’m trying to find Ben Ackerman’s office?” Madison asked, fishing in her pocket to dig out the pass she had been given. “I was sent to this floor, but I have no idea where…”
“Say no more. I’m heading in that direction. Are you new? I’ve never seen you around.”
“Err…” Madison trailed off, not sure how to reply. “Not really? But I’ve never been to his new office.”
“Ah, yes. They moved us all around last week. Let me guess, they kept you in the cave, right? Being an intern sucks sometimes, but I promise it’s just a necessary step.”
Oh damn. She thought she was an intern. Well. That was awkward.
But not surprising, Madison thought wryly, taking a mental look over herself.
Her usual big, black glasses on her nose, her hair simply hanging freely around her face. A pair of jeans, Converse shoes. Messenger bag. Her coat was hiding the hoodie she was wearing, but even so, she clearly didn’t look like the kind of girl Ben would date. Lately, all she wanted was comfort, and her outfits clearly reflected that.
“Ben? You lost one of your minions, I believe,” the woman said with a laugh as she knocked on a door.
Barely a few seconds later, Ben was opening the door. “My minion?”
“I found this poor girl lost. They really should be a little more specific. My last intern ended up in the cafeteria.”
Madison gave a small wincing smile to Ben.
Ben looked confused for a few seconds, then understanding washed over his face. He chuckled, shaking his head. “Flo, that’s not my intern. That’s Madison, my baby mama. Madison, this is Florence.”
The way the neat, sophisticated expression slipped off the face of “Flo” was almost comical.
Madison was used to people having a hard time picturing her and Ben together. It didn’t really bother her much anymore. Except… well, this woman was obviously a close co-worker of Ben’s, she had heard him on the phone with her quite a lot. She was also stunning, something she hadn’t been aware of.
So, to be seen as… not even a potential love interest stung a tiny little bit.
“I… God, I’m so sorry, I had no idea. You look so young and…”
“I’m twenty-six.” She didn’t want her to think Ben was dating a nineteen-year-old or something.
“I like to think I keep her young and wild and free,” Ben said as he circled her waist with his arm and pulled her to his side.
Madison narrowed her eyes at him. “Are you quoting Bryan Adams again?”
“Of course not, just letting Flo know that if you look young, it’s because I take care of my wife.”
“Girlfriend.”
“Fiancée.”
“Girlfriend.”
“Let’s compromise. Future wife.”
“That’s the definition of fiancée.”
“See? Fiancée!”
“Not seeing a ring, are you?” Madison asked, wiggling her fingers.
“Well, it sure as hell is not for lack of trying, Pumpkin.”
“Oh,” Florence said, diverting their attention back to her. She was blinking like she had just figured out gravity or something of the like. “Now, I see it.” She shook her head as if clearing her mind. “You make an adorable couple and congratulations. For the baby, I mean. Not the wedding since it doesn’t seem like you guys came to an agreement on that front.”
“Thank you,” Madison said with a smile as Florence closed the door and left them alone in the office.
“You’re a little early,” Ben said as he wrapped her in his arms.
“Yup. I finished the analytical analysis of our second round of trials sooner than I expected.”
“I’m still not sure I fully understand what it is that you do.”
“I’m still a little confused about your job as well.”
“Maybe we should talk about that one day?” He murmured, pressing his forehead against hers.
“Yeah,” she whispered back against his lips.
If she wasn’t really in the mood for sex, it wasn’t the same when it came to kissing.
That, she still loved. There was something so slow and lazy about kissing Ben that made her feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
“Our baby is finally going to look like a baby,” he said when they pulled away.
“Yes. At least I hope so. I mean, my bump isn’t very big, so what if they’re tiny too?”
“Your mom told you that your aunt was the same way, and your grandmother as well. Stop worrying. Everything is fine. And your little bump is adorable and perfect.”
She smiled. Sometimes, Ben really said the sweetest things.
“Not to mention, there will be nothing tiny about my son, if you know what I mean.”
Or not.
“It’s going to be a little cold,” the doctor warned her as she spread the gel on her abdomen.
Madison nodded, not really caring much about the gooey stuff currently squeezed on her stomach. “Shouldn’t I show more? Will you be able to tell if the baby is too small or if there is a problem?”
Her ob-gyn gave her a reassuring smile. “Every woman is different. I have had patients who barely showed until the sixth month. And their babies were developing normally, just very discreetly.”
Ben’s hand was warm and steady against hers, and he squeezed it tighter, entwining their fingers together. She searched for his eyes and he smiled at her, brushing his lips against her knuckles.
“It’s gonna be fine,” he mouthed before leaning in to whisper in her ear, “Our son is like his dad. Very discreet.”
She let out a chuckle because if there was one word she would never, ever use to describe Ben, it was definitely “discreet.”
“It might be a girl,” she reminded him. He was so overly confident it was a boy, she was afraid he might be disappointed.
Ben shook his head. “I had one job in this whole thing, and I did it well.”
“Except, I’d like a girl, I think.”
The look he gave her made her think she might have insulted the memory of his long-gone great-great-great grandmother.
“Pumpkin, we can’t have a girl,” he whispered in horror. “I know nothing about girls!”
Her eyebrows lifted high on her forehead. “You’re holding the hand of one like… right now.”
“I mean kids. Female children.”
“Female… oh, my God, Ben. It’s not a different species.”
“Madison, what if I screw up? If it’s a girl, I… I’m so gonna screw up. Girls do… stuff.”
“Like… boys.”
“Periods! Girls have periods!” Ben exclaimed in a triumphant voice.
“As long as you don’t get her adult diapers, you should be fine,” Madison said in a wry voice.
“I don’t even know how to braid hair!”
“Maybe she’ll prefer her hair short.”
The doctor cleared her throat before turning toward them. “I’m ready if you are,” she said with a barely hidden smile.
Her palms instantly became damp, nerves making her heart rate spike.
“You have to excuse my fiancée, she’s a little bit nervous,” Ben explained.
“Girlfriend.”
“Now, Pumpkin, we came to a compromise not even two hours ago.”
“The compromise was that you’d stop calling me fiancée, or future wife, or wife.”
He looked at her, a spark of calculating light in his eyes.
“And don’t even think about wifey,” she rushed to add.
His face fell. “Damn it. So close.”
He distracted her so well with his ridiculous pout and puppy eyes that she didn’t even notice the small pressure low on her stomach at first. It was the way he suddenly turned serious, keeping his eyes on hers in a way that made her think he had to physically restrain himself, that made her realize the shift in the room.
“And here comes the little one,” Doctor Santiago said in a gentle voice, a second before a thump, thump noise echoed in the room.
Ben smiled at her, giving her a tiny shake of his head as if to wordlessly encourage her to look, and therefore to allow him to as well.
“Are they…”
“Everything seems alright at first sight. The size is normal at this stage of your pregnancy. The heartbeat is strong and fast. I still need to check a few things, though. Don’t worry. Normal verifications.”
Madison closed her eyes in relief, feeling a wave of calm wash over her.
“Come on, Pumpkin. Look,” Ben said in a soft voice, pressing his lips against her hand once again.
The screen was grainy, the way she had expected it. But she could see a shape, a clear shape this time, not like for the very first ultrasound. The head seemed a little bigger than the body, which she knew was normal. She was no ob-gyn but had read enough books to know that at first sight, everything looked exactly like it was supposed to.
“Do you want to know the gender? They’re moving around a little, but I should be able to get a good look.”
“Yes,” she said in a quiet voice. Boy or girl, it didn’t matter to her now that she knew they were safe and in good health. “But… Ben…”
“Shhh. Pumpkin, as long as they’re OK, it’s all that matters to me,” he said in an unusually serious voice.
She glanced at him, his gentle smile telling her he couldn’t be any more sincere at the moment.
“Are we ready?” Doctor Santiago asked, interrupting them.
“Yes. We are.”