Chapter Thirty Four
Lilith
It was time to wake up. I’d begun the long, slow climb out of oblivion hours before, but that certainly didn’t count as wakefulness, just a collection of sounds and sensations that reassured me I was still in existence. The hours were measured by the blood-pressure cuff on my right arm automatically inflating and deflating; by the pouch of saline emptying itself into the back of my hand, drop by steady drop; by some gentle, sweet-voiced nurse checking the display that would tell her my heart was continuing to beat. I had a concrete slab on my chest that I had to lift with my ribs whenever I wanted to take a breath, and I couldn’t even manage that simple job without the oxygen flowing into my lungs from a nasal cannula, but I was most definitely alive, which meant that Blaine and Coyle had lost, and Finn and I had won. So now it was time to open my eyes.
Finn sat by my bed. His face looked as though it had been dragged along a cheese grater, and I guessed he hadn’t slept since he’d got to the hospital, but I’d never seen him so happy, or so relieved. Or so beautiful. ‘Hi there,’ he smiled.
‘Hi. You look like shit.’ My voice was nothing more than a croak; I supposed I’d still been intubated not so long before.
‘Yeah? Well you look fantastic. That whole, ‘Tubes stuck up your nose’ vibe really works for you.’
‘Thanks. How long was I out?’
‘Two days. The doctor, she said it could be a week, maybe more, but you were just, like, ‘Fuck this, I’m Lilith fuckin’ Bresson’, so they stopped the sedation and took the tube out of your throat this morning ‘cos you were doing so well. You’re bloody amazing, you know that?’
‘I’d heard rumours. How are you?’
‘Ach, you know. Bit of concussion, this scratch on my face – oh, and you were right about my knee; it is that ligament thing. Completely fucked.’ He grinned. ‘Medical term. They admitted me as well, so at least I get morphine.’ He held up a spectacularly bruised hand to show me his wristband. ‘I’ve got the room next door, but I haven’t actually been in it yet. The staff have been brilliant; they’ve just let me stay here with you.’
‘And I’m so glad you did. Where are the other guys?’
‘All safe. Okay, let’s see – Gabe and Nat have stuck around. They’ve blockaded the relatives’ room down the corridor, so they can hide out from Gabe’s mental fans, and Henry’s goin’ to be so gutted that he’s missed you waking up. He’s just gone to the staff canteen with an off-duty midwife called Victor – from Nigeria, apparently – seems like a decent fella; their eyes met over the coffee machine yesterday evening, and they’ve been inseparable ever since.’
‘Henry’s pulled? The freedom must have gone to his head.’
‘Yeah, would you credit it, the wee tart? I think Ed’s the only one missing; he had to go into work, but he said he’d be back later with some kind of official update. Told me I had to ring him the second you woke up, but I don’t think he’ll mind waiting another five minutes.’
I wrinkled my nose. ‘You smell of smoke.’
‘Yeah, I found that if I stand on the toilet seat and stick my head out of the window I can grab a cigarette without setting off the smoke alarm.’
‘No, I mean smoke smoke. From burning things.’
‘That would be Albermarle Hall. Well, the big pile of charcoal that used to be Albermarle Hall, anyway.’
‘What, all of it?’
‘Pretty much. Turns out that centuries of built-up evil is an even better fuel than paraffin, and you’re a bit stuffed for getting a fire engine across a lake.’
I paused, remembering. ‘Is that why Coyle was screaming?’
‘Nah. He was screaming because I poked his eye out with a piece of broken glass.’
‘Ah. Well done.’ I swallowed, and it felt like gulping down gravel. ‘Ouch.’
‘You want some water?’ Finn picked up the crutches that were propped against the chair and made his way to the cabinet by the window to pour out a plastic cup of water. He pushed the blinds aside and even through the double glazing I could hear the yells of the photographers camped outside as they caught a glimpse of their target. ‘Fuck me, it’s crazy out there – I think we’re on the front page of every newspaper in the country, thanks to Nat’s mail out. Gabe’s put his two pet orcs at the front doors for now, but I can’t imagine what it’s going to be like when we leave here.’
‘Oh God, it’ll be ridiculous for a while. Totally insane. But it’ll pass. It always passes. New stories, new scandals. And soon we’ll be thousands of miles away, and it won’t matter. Trust me.’
Finn set the water by my bed. He frowned and fell silent, and I was suddenly afraid that this would all be too much, too soon, and that all he’d want to do was run a million miles away from this lunacy I’d created. ‘Um, can I ask you something?’
‘Sure,’ I said, and began to prepare for the worst.
‘D’you think I could maybe hug you right now? Y’know, if I’m really careful, and promise not to break anything, or detach anything? Because that’s all I really want to do. Just fuckin’ lie there next to you and hold you, so I know this shit’s for real. Would that be okay?’
‘That would be… well, that would be absolutely wonderful,’ I said, and pushed myself to the edge of the bed to give him some room. It seemed to take an age to move cables and IV lines and find a position where we could be comfortable, but we were both up for the challenge, and eventually Finn had beaten enough pillows into submission to create a pretty impressive nest.
‘There. Will this do?’ He asked, as he pulled a blanket over the pair of us.
‘Yeah.’ I kissed him as best I could, around the bloody plastic tubes covering my face. ‘This’ll do.’
*****
I don’t know how long we’d been lying there when my nurse checked in on me and found us curled into each other, fingers entwined and foreheads touching.
I waited for her to reprimand us, or tell Finn to move, but she simply smiled. ‘I’ll come back later,’ she whispered, and closed the door softly behind her.
I eased my hand under Finn’s t-shirt and rested it on his chest. Lulled by his steady heartbeat beneath my fingertips, I closed my eyes and slept.