Colin

 

It was the first day of the conference, and my body was throbbing in the most wonderful of ways. I stretched my legs and felt something stirring against me, a familiar sensation pressing into my chest. There was a mass of brown hair peeking into my vision. Taunting me with its tousled softness as something warm and soft stirred between my legs. The sun was just beginning to pour through the curtains of the hotel just outside of Kansas City, and I could smell my triumphant return. It had been three years since I had spoken at this conference, and now I was a keynote speaker because of the merger my company was making into the European marketplace.

I had been the keynote speaker when we snagged the Asian marketplace, and now I was back to delve into the difficulties of the European marketplace.

Ted would be irate that I didn’t get any work done, but I felt wonderful. My mind was calm, my body was relaxed, and all of the pent-up energy and frustration I had been harboring just seemed to dissipate. I held Abby’s body close to mine, her light snores causing a grin upon my cheeks. My hand rubbed up and down her back, slowly drawing her from her slumber as she grumbled.

Abby had never been a morning person, and there was a part of me that enjoyed it.

I enjoyed the little attitude she cocked when she was tired. I enjoyed the way she couldn’t keep a coherent conversation going until she got enough caffeine into her system. I enjoyed watching the way caffeine seemed to perk up her eyes. Once clouded by darkness and slumber, her eyes brightened with every milligram of the stuff she put in her bloodstream. Her voice came to life and her skin took on a healthy glow.

It was as if caffeine was her life source.

I looked over at the clock and saw it was approaching six thirty. We were three hours outside of Wichita, but if the weather was bad it would easily be a six-hour trip. I felt a renewed sense of vigor to make the last leg of this trip bearable. The first leg had been spontaneous and full of apprehension, and yesterday had been a living nightmare.

I wanted to send Abby off with positive memories, just like I had the last time.

The truth was, we couldn’t be together. No matter how much my body rose to her affections and no matter how much I missed her when she wasn’t around, she was an employee of mine. It was unprofessional, to say the least, but if something did strike up between us it could jeopardize the position she wanted within my company. Every promotion would be seen as nepotism at its finest, and she would have to work twice as hard and be twice as qualified just to be justified the promotion in the first place.

I didn’t want to put her through that. Especially given what she went through last year.

“What time is it?” Abby asked, groaning.

“Six thirty. We should start stirring and get on the road. And don’t worry, we’ll stop to get coffee,” I said.

“Good boy.”

I chuckled at her before I slipped my arms from around her body. It ached to leave her. I slept better when I was beside her. Work fell from my mind and my soul seemed much calmer when she was around. It was a sensation I wasn’t familiar with. I experienced things with Abby I’d never experienced with anyone else before.

But I owned the company she worked for, and her boss reported straight to me with matters of media urgency.

Well, my secretary. But that was essentially the same thing.

I slipped into the shower quickly and cleaned myself up. I shaved my face and made sure I was ready for any media exposure that might happen when we landed into Wichita. I picked out my finest suit as Abby dragged herself around the room, slowly piecing her life together with one eye still closed.

Even in her sleepy stupor, she was a beautiful woman.

By the time seven thirty came around, we were finally loading into the car. The snow had stopped, the sun was shining, and the roads had even been plowed. The snow banks were almost four feet high and coated in ice, but people were buzzing down the roads as if it was the middle of summer. My chest swelled with relief as I pulled us out of the hotel parking lot, and I pulled in across the street to get us some coffee and breakfast.

Abby didn’t make a sound until she had gotten halfway through the large coffee I had purchased for her.

“I could’ve paid for this,” she said.

“I don’t think you could’ve even found your card in the state you were in,” I said.

“Hey, it’s not my fault I’m not a morning person. I get it from my father.”

“How is he, by the way? And your mother?” I asked.

“They’re good. On a Valentine’s Day cruise. It’s what my father surprised my mother with for Christmas.”

“I’m sure they’re having fun.”

“I hope they are. They deserve it after helping me out of my little hidey hole,” she said.

“And how is that going?” I asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Just, with everything you went through last year. Are you—bouncing back?”

“What am I, a rubber ball?” she asked.

“I just meant—”

“Settle down, Colin,” she said, giggling. “I’m just teasing you.”

I looked over and caught a glimpse of the Abby I remembered. The annoyingly vivacious woman with stars in her eyes and an entire life ahead for the taking. There was a smile on her face as she began to talk, her lips moving in tandem with her smile as my eyes flowed over her body. She was so full of life in ways I had never been. She had overcome so much, yet still found a way to keep a jovial smile on her face.

I had no idea how she did it.

“I’m doing well,” she said. “Still with my parents, but hopefully not for long. If I don’t encounter any other financial problems, I’ll be in my own place come summer.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being with your parents. I built my business in a corner in my mother’s garage. I lived with her until this thing took off,” I said.

“Yeah, well. You were building a conglomerate. I’m in my childhood bedroom after my life imploded,” she said.

“Was there anything anyone could do about all the money your ex took from you?”

I watched her face grow somber and I regretted ever asking the damn question.

“No. Because his name was on the account, the money was his for the taking. I could’ve gone through some massive paperwork and taken him to court, but I didn’t have any money to do that with. I’m just trying not to think about that part and save back as much as I can. I’m starting from scratch, but at least I have the ability to do so. My life tragedies didn’t take away my ability to work.”

“You astound me sometimes, Abby,” I said.

I felt her gaze flicker over at me and she held my profile in her eyes. She had moments that rubbed me the wrong way and emotions I still couldn’t understand. There were times when she swept me underneath her perfect storm and didn’t allow me to come up for air until I’d begged for mercy. But then there were moments like this. Moments when her clarity of mind and intelligence shone through. There were moments like this where I caught a glimpse of the ironclad woman inside that attempted to carry her broken world on her shoulders and still keep a smile on her face for the hopeful children at her feet.

Had I been an artistic person, I couldn’t have drawn a more adaptable woman.

“Well, I’m glad things are beginning to look up for you,” I said.

“I’ve got you to thank for that, despite this fun little reprise of our past,” Abby said.

“Oh, the trip hasn’t been that bad. We’re not dead,” I said.

“Not for lack of trying, however,” she said, grinning. “By the way, how’s your mother doing?”

“My mother?”

“Yeah. You know, the woman who brought you into the world. The woman who your father wronged. The woman who—”

“Sorry. It’s just that no one ever asks about my mother,” I said. “She’s doing well. Stays busy with her volunteer work and her at-home business.”

“Ah, so the business-building gene comes from her.”

“It does,” I said, smiling. “She’s a craftsperson. Makes a lot of things by hand.”

“Like what?”

“She crochets blankets and makes quilts. She woodworks a bit and builds things like small end tables and such. She’s wonderful at decorating and making centerpieces for things like children’s birthdays and weddings. She’s sort of a do-it-all woman in the crafts world. She has this great ability to write calligraphy, too.”

“That’s all the rage now with D.I.Y. businesses,” she said. “My mother falls all over that kind of stuff. She’s not a creative person at all.”

“Did she work, or was she a stay at home mom?” I asked.

“She worked on and off when she could. For a little bit there, she was a tax specialist.”

“Sounds absolutely horrendous.”

“It was the pits. Or at least I thought so. The idea of specializing in taxes makes me want to chug arsenic.”

“Mix it in with your coffee and it’ll go down smoother,” I said.

“Remind me never to piss you off.”

“You’ve done that many times. So, consider yourself safe.”

She giggled at me before she turned her head back out to the highway. We cruised for the majority of drive to Wichita in silence, but the conversation we did have was lighthearted and very much welcomed. I got to know a little more about her and how her mind worked. I got to delve a bit more into her parents and the type of people they were. I found that Abby got her lackluster morning attitude from her mother, and her holiday spirit from her father. I found that Abby got her love of media from her father as well, but she got her love of people from her mother. I learned she was an only child and that her mother wasn’t supposed to be able to have children, which just made her a bigger miracle in her parent’s eyes.

I could’ve driven us all the way to the tip of Mexico if it meant listening to her talk more about her life.

Ultimately, we pulled into Wichita two hours before the conference was supposed to start. Ted was probably frantic trying to find me, and I dreaded coming into contact with him. I looked over at Abby, who was now scrolling through her phone, and I took her in one last time before I asked the pertinent question.

“Which hotel are you staying at? I’ll drop you off.”

“Oh, that’s fine. Just drop me anywhere and I’ll catch a cab. The first conference isn’t for another two hours,” she said.

“Just let me take you there. It would make me feel better, especially after what I put you through yesterday.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that sounded like an apology,” she said, smirking.

“Take it or leave it,” I said.

“Wow. So demanding,” she said, winking. “I’m actually in a really nice location. I’m at the Holiday Inn Express right across from the main conference building.”

“The one off Rightland Road?” I asked.

“That’s the one. You know it?”

“Know it? That’s where I'm staying as well.”

“Well,” she said breathlessly. “How convenient.”

Quickly driving to the hotel, I got us parked before we checked into our respective rooms. There was a big part of me that was disappointed that I wasn’t sharing a room with Abby. She was two floors below me in one of the individual hotel rooms while I was up near the top with a suite all to myself. I had half a mind to go down to the desk and upgrade her, but I didn’t know if the hotel had any rooms left to upgrade her to. I guessed I could’ve asked her to come stay in the suite with me, but I didn’t know how she would react to that.

I knew I needed to tell her how I felt. How she took up space in my mind and how my heart thundered in my ears whenever I was around her. That I craved her voice and longed to know even more about her. How I wanted to help her in any way possible because I wanted to see her succeed. I knew she deserved to know how electric her body was to my fingertips and I wanted to tell her just how many times I’d picked up my cell phone and almost called her.

I wanted to tell her why I didn’t, hoping she would understand.

But I didn’t know how she felt about me. When I told her I missed her, she made a quip about missing my body. Maybe she was being guarded because I didn’t call, but maybe she was being serious. Maybe she didn’t feel for me the way I did for her. Maybe this was all just a convenient fling for a woman trying to piece her life back together.

And if it was, that was fine. But I wasn’t going to make myself look like an idiot or put her on the spot because I decided to let my emotions run my decisions. The truth was, I had no idea how she felt about me. One moment we were kosher, happy even, and the next minute we weren’t talking at all or were at each other’s throat with this passive aggressive bullshit I hated. She gave into me in bed, but there was this thin layer of distance between us anywhere else. A rift just big enough to make it dangerous for me to reach over and grab her hand.

I had no reason to believe she would even reach back for me if I tried.

Shaking thoughts of her from my mind, I opened up my laptop. I had an hour to prepare whatever I could for this first conference before I sent it over to Ted, who was probably checking his phone every ten seconds. My phone was dead and I had no plans to plug it in anytime soon. It was nice to have it not ringing off the hook for once.

Which was different, because that wasn’t how I usually felt.

Even still, I hadn’t always been the kind of guy that needed to be in constant connection with his work. I hadn’t always been the type of guy to spend the night in his office. I hadn’t started this company with the mindset that it would take over every single moment of my life. But that was the type of man my company had made me, and if I wanted to stay successful, I had to deal with it.

I typed away at a few things and perfected the presentation before I sent it off. I had just enough time to check myself in the mirror and change my tie to something a little more formal before I headed for the lobby. I crossed the street and slipped right into the conference building where Ted magically appeared at my side, and the look of relief that crossed his face made me grin.

“Stress sweating?” I asked.

“I’m gonna kill you, Colin,” he said.

“Did you get my email?”

“Yes, and I glanced over everything before I sent it to tech. Could you have possibly cut it any closer?”

“Maybe? Did you want me to?’

I turned to him with a smile on my face and watched him falter.

“You okay?” he asked.

“What?”

“You look—happy.”

“Seriously? I look happy and you’re asking me if I’m all right?”

“It’s just not a look we see on you regularly,” he said.

“What about the charity event over Christmas?” I asked. “I was happy then.”

“I figured it was just the Christmas spirit. And the fact that you probably got laid. Holy hell, did you get laid again? Is that why you’re so damn late?”

“You’re an idiot. I’m late because of the weather,” I said. “And now I’m here and ready for this conference.”

“You know you’re a keynote speaker, right?” he asked.

“Yes, I know I’m one of the main speakers. Calm down,” I said.

“Seriously. Did you get some? Because I’m not hating on you if you did.”

“What the hell does that mean?” I asked.

“Everyone is always telling you to calm down, that’s what I mean.”

“I’m just glad to be here. I wrecked a rental getting here because I pushed my luck with the weather. Just let me take a breath.”

“Okay. But I’m telling you, something’s different.”

I smiled and laughed at Ted before I made my way to the stage. People would be trickling in for the conference at any moment and I wanted to be out of their line of sight. I knew what had changed. I knew what was different. That was the effect Abby had on me. At Christmas, I regarded it as a fluke. But now? There was no denying it.

Abby, for all her flaws and frustrating personality traits, made me a better man.

I just didn’t know if I had the same effect on her as a woman.