Abby

 

I could feel Colin’s eyes on me as I kissed the top of his hand. I had so much to be sorry for and I had no idea where to start. I wanted to apologize for always being pushy and intentionally pressing his buttons. I wanted to apologize for being so upset with him because he never called. I wanted to apologize for the anger I threw his way on the road trip down from Minnesota, and I especially wanted to apologize for leaving the conference without seeing him first.

But I decided to start with my biggest problem.

I wanted to start with how my cowardice almost took over.

“That speech was beautiful, Colin,” I said, smiling. “It—you have no idea the things I felt when I heard—”

I closed my eyes as I sighed heavily, trying to gather my thoughts. I felt Colin’s hand come down on top of mine and I could feel his gaze on me. I didn’t know where to begin and I really didn’t know what else to tell him.

So I decided to simply tell him the truth and hoped he would understand.

“I’m still so embarrassed,” I said.

I opened my eyes and found Colin’s confused stare looking back at me.

“The article this morning. It didn’t scare me, Colin. It embarrassed me. To my core. The things the press said and the things they were accusing me of. Sleeping with the boss to get ahead and sucking my way to the top—it was my worst nightmare realized.”

“I’m so sorry you had to go through that,” he said.

“And I’m worried that you made that speech not because you love me, but because you wanted to try and save my career,” I said.

I watched him physically sink into the couch as his hands dropped mine.

“I appreciated that speech so much. Never in my life had I felt that kind of happiness. Ever. About anyone. But I started wondering if you gave that speech to try and help me in some way. I mean, you’re the man. The boss. The person everyone is looking up to in the business world right now. This won’t hurt you. It might stun some people, but it won’t take your career. But you saw how mine was quickly spiraling and I was scared that this was your solution.”

“You think the speech was fake,” he said.

“I was scared it was, yes. It’s why I left before you could find me,” I said.

I looked into his eyes and I could see the hurt I’d caused. The pain I’d brought him with my words. I mentally chastised myself—whipping my back with my own belt, as my father enjoyed saying. I tried to reach out for his hand but he pulled it back from me and I felt my heart sink to my toes.

“While something like this wouldn’t tank your career like it would mine, it would embarrass you,” I said.

His gaze whipped back over to me as I drew in a shaky breath.

“I’m not nearly the type of woman you should have at your side. I’m not graceful, nor am I groomed for any sort of—social world of the kind you might find yourself in. I don’t do any of the fancy parties or formal dinner events. I have no idea how to properly set a table and I fucking live out of takeout trays. I don’t give a damn about fashion. I mean, it took me years to piece this wardrobe together, and I’m petrified of changing it because I don’t know shit about clothes.”

I watched Colin snicker as he shook his head, and a part of me relaxed just a little bit.

“I never planned for this to happy,” I said.

“Neither did I,” Colin said.

“And if that speech was true and you want to try something between us, every article they run on you will somehow scrutinize me,” I said.

“And that isn’t fair to you,” he said.

“It would make me feel guilty in many ways, because I know you a lot better now. I know how loyal you are to those you care about, and I know you would take those articles personally. Like I would.”

“Then we just won’t read them,” he said.

“Do you remember what I do for a living?” I asked, snickering.

“Abby, that speech wasn’t fake. I meant every single word of it.”

I felt my eyes well with tears as my hands began to tremble in my lap.

“I know,” I said, breathlessly. “I know you meant it.”

“Then why did you—”

“Because it was easier to think that then to admit that I was scared of loving you in return.”

I sighed and closed my eyes as a tear slowly trickled down my cheek.

“The reason I was going to leave without saying goodbye is because goodbyes are too painful. When we parted after Christmas, it killed a part of me inside. I wanted to run back to you and cling to you. I wanted to stay with you and never let you go. We had our goodbye then, and it was a hell of a goodbye. And then you never called.”

“Abby, I can explain that.”

“I know why you didn’t call, Colin. I know you better than you think. You didn’t call because you wanted to protect me from the exact scenario we’ve found ourselves in. You wanted to protect my career and my reputation as well as the reputation of yourself and your company,” I said.

His silence told me I was spot on and I shook my head in disbelief.

“I couldn’t say goodbye to you this time because it was too painful. Because I am in love with you, too. And I didn’t know if I could handle giving myself over to you and then not hearing from you again, Colin. I just didn’t know if my—if my heart could take it.”

I felt the couch shift before a pair of hands wrapped around my body. I was pulled into Colin’s lap as his lips peppered my wet cheeks. I laid my head onto his shoulder and soaked up his warmth and shook against the strength of his body.

I had been such a coward, and I was ashamed of my own fear.

“I’m in love with you, too, Abby.”

I sighed at his words as I melted into his body.

“I love you,” he said, as he kissed my ear. “I love every single part of you.”

“Even the part of me that sings Christmas carols?” I asked.

“Especially that part,” he said, grinning.

I giggled into his neck as his hand started running through my hair. I nuzzled into the palm of his hand and he tilted my face up towards his. The sunlight was dancing in his bright blue eyes, turning them from their natural icy state into a swimming pool of strength that I wanted to soak in. My eyes flickered from his gaze to his lips, my body fighting between wanting him and wanting to run. I could feel my heart being put out there again. I could feel myself trusting a man again. I could feel my body rejecting every wall I’d thrown up after my ex cheated on me and stole from me, and I could feel my heart reaching out for him.

Then, I felt his lips press against mine as my eyes fluttered closed.

The kiss was soft and sensual. Passionate, but not needy. Our lips connected as my hands slid around his neck, and I felt his strong arms wrap around my back. We didn’t need our tongues in that moment to show the desire and passion we had for one another. I could feel it in the way his body yielded to mine. I could feel it in the way my curves molded to his strength.

I could feel it in the way he smiled into my skin as a giggle fell from my lips.

“How are we going to do this?” I asked, with a whisper.

“What do you mean?”

“Colin, we’re so far away. We can’t actually pull this off. You’re hardly in Minnesota, and when you are I’m sure it’s for work. And I most certainly don’t make the kind of money that can fly me out to L.A. on a whim. Long distance doesn’t work.”

“Doesn’t it?” he asked.

“No,” I said. “It doesn’t.”

“Then, I’ll just have to ask you to come with me.”

I stared at him in disbelief as a grin crossed his cheeks.

“What?” I asked flatly.

“Come with me. Back to L.A. Take the P.R. job there,” he said.

“You can’t be serious.”

“I was serious the first time I offered it to you and I’m serious now.”

“You mean you haven’t filled it?” I asked.

“No one’s been qualified for the position.”

“That’s a load of shit and you know it,” I said.

“Well, according to you, so are long distance relationships. So, we won’t be long distance.”

“I can’t just up and move to L.A. My family’s in Minnesota.”

“It’s not like you haven’t left them to start your own life in California once. They’re grown. I promise you they’ll do just fine.”

“Yeah, and look at how that life turned out,” I said.

I watched Colin’s playful face melt into one of stone as I slid off his lap and back onto the couch.

“I want you with me, Abby. Always. The time I spent away from you after Christmas almost killed me. I spent night after night sleeping in my office because I tried to work your memory away. But instead, all I was doing was running through employee files in my spare time to make sure you were doing well. I worried about you. I wondered how you were doing. So many times I was one or two buttons away from dialing your number and hearing your voice in my ear, but I thought I was protecting you. From the press. From the whispers. And from myself.”

“From yourself?” I asked. “But Colin, you’re a wonderful—”

“Unless you’re going to say wonderfully infuriating man or something of the sort, then it’s a load of crap and you know it.”

I smiled at him and giggled before I drew in a deep breath through my nose.

“I want you to come back to L.A. with me,” he said. “I want you to be at my side. I want to see you every single day and take you home with me every night. If you don’t want to live with me, then we’ll find you your own place. If you don’t want an office on the same floor as mine, then we’ll find you somewhere else in the building to set up shop. You let me handle Rohan and Hadley. All you have to do is say yes.”

It was almost too good to be true. This man who had somehow captured my heart and stolen my soul was about to hand me my dream job. He was offering me everything on a silver platter, and all it took was one little word to have it all. I smiled and shook my head before laughter started falling from my lips, and I squealed with delight before I threw my arms around Colin’s neck.

I peppered her neck with kisses before I moved my lips to his ear.

“Yes,” I said, whispering. “I’ll take the job.”

His laughter filled the room as he leapt up from the couch. His arms held me close to him as he spun me around. The two of us giggled with joy as tears of delight streamed down my face, but then a thought crossed my mind.

“The red eye flight,” I said. “I have to cancel it.”

“You leave that to me,” Colin said.

“No, no. I’m serious. It wasn’t a maybe. I switched my flight. I have to cancel the ticket.”

“And I told you to let me handle it,” he said.

I looked up into his eyes as he pulled his phone from his pocket. Without breaking our gaze, he held the phone to his ear and began to speak. He talked with the person on the other end of the line and got the ticket canceled and somehow refunded, then he finagled me onto the same flight he was on in the morning before he hung up the call.

He tossed his phone to the couch before he closed the distance between our bodies, and I just knew he could see my heart slamming against my chest.

His hand came up to cup my cheek before I rose up to my tip toes. He met me right in the middle as our lips connected and I could feel the electricity surging around us. I ran my hands up his chest, taking in the rippling strength underneath his button down shirt as his hands ran down my sides.

His hands splayed along my hips as he pulled me into him, our tongues battling for dominance.

My hands flew to his hair and raked through his luscious black thickness. Our teeth began to clatter as his hands grasped my ass. He dipped down and grabbed onto my thighs, pulling me against his body as he lifted me off my feet. I wrapped my legs around his waist and pressed into him, tilting his head back so I could continue feeling his lips against mine.

He walked me into the wall and pinned me to it as his lips traveled down my neck. He kissed and he sucked while his hands ventured up my shirt. I grabbed the back of his head and pressed him into my breasts, feeling him smile as he mouthed at my sensitive nipples through all the layers of fabric that separated me from him.

Then, he pulled my shirt over my head and quickly unhooked my bra.