Colin

 

The chicken and tomato basil wrap I had ordered was actually decent. The car was filled up with gas before we left the airport, so there was no need to stop until we got about halfway through Iowa. There was something very different about Abby. There was a strength to her. A confidence she hadn’t possessed when we’d first met. Not only that, but she was a little more subdued. Her voice wasn’t as high-pitched and she wasn’t bombarding me with asinine questions all the time. The conversation with her was easy and her smile was a little softer. More genuine than the massive smile she had plastered on her face when we first met.

But now, things had grown solemn quickly.

Her touch at the drive through had sparked a fire down to my toes. The way her fingers wrapped around my forearm reminded me of all the things that kept me up at night. The warmth of her body and the way her voice echoed off the corners of my mind. There were many evenings that were spent wondering how she was and wanting to know if she was okay. There were many lunch breaks spent sifting through employee reports and daily input for the Minnesota branch to make sure she was doing well at her job. So many nights where I’d fallen asleep alone and I woke up thinking she would be next to me.

I knew what she was doing when she touched me, and I had to shrug it off.

She was sexy as hell, just as I’d remembered. The high-waist black pants she was in did wonders for her figure, framing her backside nicely and exposed the deep dip in her waist that gave her the undeniable figure that kept popping up in my dreams. She was wearing this pale yellow blouse along with a Christmas green coat that had a massive collar to keep her neck warm.

And the black heels she was in gave her the perfect boost to her height necessary to put her forehead right at my lips.

I thought about kissing her skin. When her hand reached over for my arm, I’d thought about taking her hand and bringing it to my lips. I’d thought about raising my gaze and leaning forward to find that beautiful little forehead. I’d thought about taking her right there in the backseat of that rental car, reminding her of how beautiful she was to me and how lucky I had been to have met someone who wasn’t willing to give up on me.

Someone who was willing to be just the right amount of annoying to show me how much of a rigid, cold individual I had become.

But I was her boss now. Not only that, I owned the company she worked for. And we had to keep things professional. With Beddingfield striking up his media persistence of my public persona, I couldn’t conduct myself in a way that could be misconstrued should it get out to the media. That was why I’d sworn off all women, not just Abby. I told myself that this year would be filled with nothing but work. Work, meetings, the occasional corporate party to schmooze, and lots of time with my mother. No women, no improprieties, and certainly no sexual relationships with beautiful women named Abby who worked for my company.

But oh, how I’d wanted to call her.

Every time I went to pick up the phone over the past two months, I had to remind myself all I’d worked for. I had to remind myself of the work I had ahead of me and, sometimes, I even had to watch Beddingfield’s interviews that mentioned me, just to get my head back in the game. There were moments where Abby’s memory consumed every single bit of me, and there were moments where I actually considered risking it all just to call her.

Just to get her to my hotel room.

Just to feel her taste upon my tongue again.

But now, things had fallen into an awkward state again. I felt the tension growing in my body as Abby slouched into her chair. She threw her legs onto the dashboard of the car like she was so used to doing, and I found myself growing annoyed. The music in the car seemed louder than it was when I turned it on, so I reached over and turned it off.

I heard a small sigh escape from between Abby’s lips, and I knew what she was thinking.

She was thinking that we were falling back into the same pattern. Into the same people we were when we first met. The comfortable part of this trip was fading quickly, and as we rode over the border into Iowa, there was an uncomfortable tension you could slice with a spoon.

We rode in silence as the skies above our heads began to grow still grayer. I was trying to stay optimistic about this road trip, but I felt my hands gripping the steering wheel tightly. We were going to hit nasty weather much sooner than I’d been anticipating, and I was not looking forward to traveling in it.

“Want to stop for a bathroom break and get some snacks before we get into this weather?” I asked.

I watched Abby shrug, and something inside of me lurched. Maybe I could make a goodwill gesture and turn the music back on or something, but I couldn’t pay attention to that now. If we made one more stop for snacks, drinks, and fuel, we could make it almost the rest of the way to Wichita. We might have to stop thirty minutes outside of the city for more gas, but that was it.

We would make it if we stopped now.

I pulled off onto an exit and drove into the nearest gas station. Abby unbuckled her seat belt and was out of the car before I could even get the engine shut down. Without asking me what I wanted, she started for the double doors of the gas station. Her arms were curled around her chest and her hips were swaying underneath the beautiful coat she had on.

If she wasn’t so disappointed, she would’ve been radiant.

I hopped out of the car and started filling up the tank. All I wanted to do was get to Wichita for the conference. I had too many things I was set to attend and lecture on to be dealing with this type of shit. I didn’t want to deal with any more obstacles and I didn’t want to deal with the awkward pressure of having to be a specific way for Abby. I didn’t want to sit and be alone with this beautiful woman any more than I had to be, because every second that passed by wore me down another millimeter. The walls I’d thrown up in order to get my work done were being quickly eroded with every smell of her perfume and every glimpse of her I stole.

If I stayed on this road trip with her any longer than necessary, I was going to be in trouble.

The gas pumped stopped and I topped the tank off. I could see Abby standing at the cash register through the windows, smiling and talking to the man behind the counter. He was leaning up against it with his eyes roaming her body, and I clenched my jaw as I watched the sight. She was giggling and blushing, and he was obviously throwing down his best game. Jealousy rolled around in my stomach as she picked up the bags of things she’d purchased.

It should have been me making her smile like that.

The moment our eyes connected, the smile from her face dropped. A tight little grin crossed her cheeks, which I guessed was her way of staying cordial while still telling me I was a shit-bag person to be on a road trip with. She had a bag full of snacks and food, and a bag full of drinks hanging from her hands, all paid for by her.

“Thanks,” I said. “That should be more than enough to get us the rest of the trip.”

“And get us through any hiccups along the way, should there be any,” she said.

“I hope not. I’m ready to get to this conference.”

“Shocker,” she said, murmuring.

What did she expect me to say? That I wanted to get trapped with her again? That I wanted to toss her against a wall and fuck her senseless? That I missed her every single solitary night but I couldn’t call her or ask for her because of how the media might portray something like that?

What did this woman expect from me?

I capped off the gas tank and shut the little door before I climbed back into the car. The gray skies were completely blocking the sun, and even though it was only two o’clock in the afternoon, it seemed as if it was nine o’clock at night. Abby was already opening a bag of chips and a soda she’d purchased, but I was nowhere near hungry. I was more focused on getting back on the highway than I was my stomach.

“Remember what we were doing the last time we crossed into Iowa together?” I asked.

She turned her head towards me but she didn’t respond.

“You were belting out Christmas carols that were playing on the radio,” I said, grinning.

“And you were telling me to stop.”

“Well, you have to admit. Your voice leaves something to be desired. But I have to admit, even in the beginning, being around someone with your warmth and presence was nice.”

“Really?” she asked.

“Yes. Just like it is now,” I said.

“Doesn’t seem like it.”

“And that’s partially my fault. I never gave you a reason for why I didn’t call you after Christmas,” I said.

“Work,” she said, shrugging.

“What?”

“Work. It’s not some big secret. You have a busy year ahead of you. I didn’t expect to hear from you.”

“You didn’t?” I asked.

“Nope. You own a company that’s taking on a new venture. What could I have expected?” she asked.

I guess she had a point, but it still hurt that the conclusion on her end had been drawn so easily.

“You deserve better than that,” I said.

“I do. Which is why we’re not going to be Grinchy on this road trip,” she said.

“I can’t be a Grinch. It’s not Christmas anymore, therefore it is impossible.”

“Fine. So it’s why you’re not going to be an asshole on this trip.”

I threw my head back and laughed as we traveled down the highway.

“I’ll try not to be an asshole on this trip,” I said. “As long as you aren’t belting out Christmas carols in the car.”

“Don’t worry,” she said, as she turned on the radio. “They don’t play Christmas carols in February.”

The music filled the compartment and I groaned as the song flooded my ears. Everyone knew Queen. Everyone knew all of Queen. Every single song that group ever did. And I heard Abby draw in a deep breath before she unhinged her jaw to let that horrific voice loose.

“Can anybody—find me—somebody to love!?”