Colin

 

I couldn’t believe I’d crashed the car. If Abby would have gotten out of my head and kept her mouth shut, I wouldn’t have been so distracted. I would’ve been able to keep my concentration on the road and kept an eye out for the patches of ice I needed to look out for. Her incessant whining, nagging and worrying is exactly what caused the crash. Had she just trusted me with our journey, we would’ve gotten there just fine.

But instead, we were riding with a trucker that couldn’t keep his mouth shut and I had no control over the situation at all.

Including the speed at which he was traveling.

“Where are you staying in Wichita?” I asked.

But Abby kept her eyes in front of her as Doug rambled on about whatever it was he was talking about.

“We should probably get two rental cars in Kansas City, unless you’re going to taxi around the conference.”

And still, Abby kept her eyes away from mine and leaned in closer to the trucker.

I knew she was giving me the cold shoulder and it made me even more agitated. She had no right to ignore me. Not after all the jabbering she did in the car that threw us off course. This woman was relentless. She nagged and whined and wanted things her way, and then when they didn’t go her way she wanted to chastise you for it. She wanted to shut you up just so she could hear the sound of her own voice. She was just as confusing as she was two months ago, and I shook my head as I sighed.

“Getting cramped over there?” Doug asked.

“No, but thank you for asking.”

“He’s fine. His ego’s just damaged,” Abby said.

“Had someone kept their mouth shut in the car, we wouldn’t be in this situation,” I said.

She threw a glare in my direction and had I not been so agitated it probably would have worked. But just as quickly as she threw me that glance, she snapped her head back and continued talking with the driver.

“Anyway,” Abby said. “How did you get started driving truck?”

Of course. Always wanting to know someone’s life story.

“I’ve always liked driving. From the time I was young, I was the one driving my friends around. Blaring music and singing at the top of our lungs.”

“Sounds familiar,” I said, murmuring.

But Abby continued to ignore me and I found that the cold shoulder only made me more frustrated. If there was anyone who shouldn’t have been talking right now, it was her. It was her mouth that needed to stop running for a second, not mine. I was perfectly fine until she came along and screwed up my plans time and time again. Things had been going smoothly these past two months until she stepped onto that plane.

Maybe she was the one bringing all this damn weather.

“What kind of music do you like listening to?” Abby asked.

“Eighties rock, mostly. Hair bands and the like. Van Halen. Bon Jovi. Deff Leppard.”

“Pour some sugar on me!” Abby said.

“In the name of love!” Doug sang.

“For the love of God,” I said, groaning.

But instead of shooting me a glance, Abby lifted up her heel and came down onto my toe.

“Are you kidding me with this right now?” I asked. “All I wanted was for you to trust me. For you to lean back, close your eyes, and let me get you to Wichita. I didn’t fight you on a rental car and I was even excited about the idea of spending more time with you. And here we are, riding in a truck while the two of you sing at the top of your lungs because you want to blame me for our crash. But it was you who kept distracting me because you couldn’t keep your mouth shut. I had four-wheel drive, Abby. Four-wheel drive.”

“That doesn’t work on ice,” Doug said plainly.

Abby grinned at me and I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from snapping at her again.

“So, where were we?” Abby asked

“I was talking about how I got started being a trucker,” Doug said.

“Yes, so you liked driving so much so to make it a career?”

“That and I hated school. Never been a smart man and never wanted to be one. I just wanted to drive and get paid for it.”

“That’s insane,” Abby said. “You don’t get lonely? Or bored?”

“Sometimes. The loneliness didn’t really set in until I met my wife.”

“You’re married!?” Abby asked.

“I am. To the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. No offense, ma’am.”

“None taken,” Abby said. “How did you guys meet?”

“On the road. She was a trucker, too, until we had kids. We met at a rest stop I found on my way from one side of the country to the other, and it was love at first sight.”

“Oh, that’s so sweet. Did you guys stay the night together?” Abby asked.

I looked over at her and I could see how engrossed she was with his story.

“No, nothing like that,” Doug said, chuckling. “We stayed up all night in the 24/7 diner that was hooked up to the rest stop. I almost didn’t make that journey in time because I was so tired on the road. But she was worth it.”

“How did you guys keep something like that going?” Abby asked.

“Phones. We exchanged numbers that night and we tried to sync up our rest stops whenever we could.”

“Funny how communication makes that possible,” Abby said.

I hooked my gaze onto the profile of her face and I could see the hurt buried in her features.

Had she wanted me to call her that badly? Because she sure as hell wasn’t acting like it.

“We dated like that for almost a year, and every time I left her it was harder than the last. The rest is history and now we’ve been married almost twenty years and have three really great children.”

“How did you propose?” Abby asked.

“I think Doug has had enough questions,” I said.

“She’s just fine, Mr. Murphy,” Doug said. “It wasn’t anything special. We were at that same diner we met at and I just brought it up. Asked her how she felt about us getting married and she said she liked the idea. I bought her a ring to wear, and four months later we crossed our paths in Vegas and got married.”

“That is so awesome. And it’s unique to just you guys. Isn’t that a sweet story?”

Abby looked over in my general direction and I snickered.

“Oh, you want me to talk now?” I asked.

“I’m looking at you, aren’t I?” she asked.

“You sure the two of you aren’t dating?” Doug asked.

“Positive,” I said.

I spat the word out with a little more intensity than I needed to and I saw Abby sink back into her chair a little bit. We rode down the highway in silence, the tension hanging thick between Abby and me. How had things careened so far out of control between the two of us in such a short timespan? On the plane, I was surprised to see her, but happy. She was radiant and calm, minus the fact that she spilled her paperwork everywhere. But I had genuinely been happy at the idea of taking another road trip with her again.

Now, we were back at each other’s throats. Just like last time.

I didn’t want it to be that way, and yet it was.

“Do you ever miss them?” Abby asked.

Her voice was much softer this time. It wasn’t as confident or in control of the room. I could feel both her anger and her happiness draining into the floor, puddling around my shoes as her eyes gazed out the window.

She was longing for something, and I wanted to ask her what it was.

“I do,” Doug said. “I regret the time I’ve missed in their lives. The concerts and school plays and church functions I never got to attend. The first dates I missed in order to get overtime to make their holidays and birthdays special. The Valentine’s Days I’ve spent driving instead of being with Darla. I feel real bad about that.”

“Darla is a beautiful name,” Abby said. “She sounds like a strong woman.”

“She’s gotta be to put up with me and what I do for a living,” Doug said, snickering. “I knew if she had rejected my idea of marriage I’d end up alone. I’m a difficult man to live with.”

“You don’t seem all that difficult,” Abby said. “Not compared to this other guy over here.”

“Oh, men like him are easy,” Doug said. “They act tough, but they’re softies. It’s the ones you think are soft to begin with that you need to watch out for.”

“How do you figure?” Abby asked.

“Yeah. I’m actually quite curious myself,” I said.

“I bet you are,” Doug said, chuckling. “Men like you, Mr. Murphy, are workaholics. But you work because you don’t feel you have anything else to contribute. All it takes is one person coming along to show you that you have more to give than just your business. You’re not cold and closed off. You’re just carefully stepping through life. That’s all.”

“And how is that different from you?” Abby asked.

“I’m laid back because I choose to be. I let things roll off my back because I know what’s important. It drives my wife nuts. I know I have to do what I do in order to provide for my family, and making sure they have food to eat and money to live their lives keeps me going. Making their holidays special always keeps me reaching for overtime. For men like Mr. Murphy, a family would pull him back. He’d want to spend time with them because he’s spent so much time holed up in an office somewhere. He’s spent so much time stressing out that when he finds a way to relax, he takes full advantage of it and basks in it as much as he can.”

I felt Abby’s eyes flicker over to me as I continued to listen to Doug.

“But men like me? Who are always laid back and easy-going? We stress over the little things. Like making the holidays perfect and earning a baseline paycheck no matter what we have to do to get it. Men like me are anal about the small things because we think the small things make all the difference. It’s just a personality trait. That’s how I’ve always been, and I know I’m difficult. But somehow, through it all, Darla’s stuck by me. Gave me three beautiful children and made a home for me to come back to that I crave every damn day I’m on the highway.”

“Then just go home,” Abby said.

“It’s not that simple,” Doug said.

“Why not?” Abby asked.

“Because life never is.”

I could see tears glistening in Abby’s eyes as she turned her gaze back out to towards the highway.

“And don’t be too hard on Mr. Murphy for crashing the car,” Doug said.

“I skidded, I didn’t crash,” I said.

“I’m not upset with him,” Abby said.

That statement caught my attention and I turned my full attention towards her.

“You seem like it,” I said.

“I’m not upset,” she said. “I’m just—”

I watched her debate on her choice of words before she drew in a deep breath.

“It doesn’t matter. What matters is that it’s over and we’re on our way to Kansas City.”

And there it was again. That wall that took me so long to drill through.

It was back, and it was thicker than ever.